I was in high school in the 90's. One of my favorite memories from that time in my life was Christian skate night at our local roller rink. Our youth group used to go often. It was good clean fun. It was also a time of getting great exercise while listening to the latest in Christian music. My tastes in Christian music veered toward Rich Mullins (who is now with the Lord) or Steven Curtis Chapman, among others of similar genres. Most of my peers didn't share my taste (but my taste was shared by people in their 20's and 30's). Most of my peers liked DC Talk, especially after their "Jesus Freak" album came out. They really weren't my style, but nevertheless, I heard them at Christian skate night. I can still hear it now..."What will people think when they find out I'm a Jesus Freak, what will they do, when they find out it's true..." Since, as I said, this really wasn't my style of music, it rattled around annoyingly in my head.
I have had a long and very complicated relationship with this song, and I want to explain it.
When I was in junior high and high school, God led me to take stands for Him that brought some authority figures against me. I faced some humiliation. Rejection. Things Jesus warned us about. Looking back, I should have rejoiced, because Jesus told us to (Matthew 5:11-12). But, I was a teenager--a time in life when acceptance means everything. I would do it again. We can never do enough for Jesus, because He died for us. But it was still painful. I was just discovering where I fit in the world, and many in my little world rejected me. I saw this as a reflection of myself. I went through the rest of my teen years with a major chip on my shoulder (unfortunately carrying it into my 20's and even 30's. Sometimes I still struggle with it). The experience drove a wedge between other people and myself. Other Christians and myself.
Then this song became popular. Jesus Freak. The chorus' lyrics say: "What will people think when they find out I'm a Jesus Freak? What will they do, when they find out it's true? I really don't care if they label me a Jesus Freak. There ain't no disguising the truth." I can now say that the message is good (even if the grammar isn't!). We should stand and not care what anybody says or does. Stand for the Lord at all costs. I think that's what the song is really trying to say. However, the me of 20+ years ago saw it differently. The next paragraph will be a reflection of how I viewed it at the time (not now).
First, if someone had to question what people would think when they found out this person was a believer, they'd already failed in their testimony. Why didn't people already know? Second, was the worst thing this hypothetical person was afraid of simply being labeled a Jesus Freak? That's pretty tame persecution. It's very tame compared to things believers in the Middle East or China go through, and it's even tame compared to what I went through in my life. It cheapened real persecution, reducing it to simple name-calling. I felt my peers who liked this song were shallow.
I can see now that my attitude was rigid. God meets all of us where we're at. He had brought me to a deep place of sharing in His sufferings at a young age. Not everyone my age was there. If the song Jesus Freak helped them, then I should have been happy for that. Second, the hypothetical person in the song could be a brand new Christian, questioning what awaits him now that he's a "Jesus Freak." He hasn't necessarily failed in his testimony. Maybe he's just getting started. Third, regardless of how tame or extreme persecution is, any bad treatment we receive for Jesus is rewarded in Heaven. My looking down on the tame persecution in this song is like Middle Eastern believers looking down on Americans because our suffering is so much lighter than theirs. I was wrong. I was so jaded by my experience that I couldn't see other people were trying to take the same stand I had taken. They just did it with poor grammar (that's a joke😉).
God is continuing to help me not get my validation from others, but from Him. That's what it was all about. I wasn't a mean, judgmental person. I was a very kind person, but a very hurting person. It's okay for me to not be real keen on a song others like. It's okay for them to be keen on a song I don't like. It isn't a reflection of any of us.
I still love listening to Steven Curtis Chapman and Rich Mullins music (as well as other favorites). I want to close this post with some lyrics to one of my favorite Steven Curtis Chapman songs that captures this message:
I'm dying to live,
Live for Jesus
Dying to give myself to Him,
And the life He gives will be mine
If I am dying to live
Live for Jesus
I want to give myself to Him
Going to give up--from now on I'm dying to live
