Sunday, October 28, 2018

Strengthen What Remains

   
     I grew up in California, one of the last states to get Walmart.  While the first Walmart opened in 1962, it didn't reach the Golden State until the 90's.  I was a young teen the first time I walked into a Walmart after they had finally built one in our area.  Friends from other states had made Walmart sound like the Disneyland of department stores.  Spoiler alert: it isn't.

     I mostly grew up going to Kmart.  They had everything we needed.  It was always a pleasant experience there.  As a little girl, I liked looking in the toy aisles, understandably.  As I grew up, I gravitated toward clothes, shoes and shampoo.  Kmart had it all, including memories of going shopping with my family.  Often, we would go run errands on Saturday afternoons.  We would have spent all morning playing with our neighbor friends out of doors, carefree and happy.  Mom and Dad would get us into the car, and we'd go to Kmart.  We'd browse around the store while our parents would get the needed items they had come for (and usually more than that as well!).  We were a happy family, enjoying being out together, knowing the next day we'd be in church with our closest friends.  Life was pleasant.  We were content.  Kmart seemed especially magical at Christmastime.  They would put out their fake trees, and play Christmas music.  Mom and Dad would often be there buying our presents, and trying to distract us into other aisles!

    When I was in junior high, we got Walmart in our town, and also a new Target (we already had Target in the state and general area, but not as conveniently close as this new one was).  Target went from being once or twice a year to our regular "go-to" store.  In fact, the first week we had our new Target open, our family went there every day!

     Target, I liked.  I would still go there, were it not for their bathroom policies (my husband and I sighed a petition in 2016, and won't go until/unless they change their bathroom policy).  I always liked the feel in Target stores, and their quality products.  I liked the environment, the way I felt while I was in there.  It felt like a family store that had stories to tell.  Walmart, on the other hand, always struck me as kind of generic.  I'll go there, but it isn't my favorite.  It isn't a particularly fun store to go to.  It's okay.  In many cases, it's convenience. The prices aren't bad.  The service is usually pretty good. 

     These other stores kind of overshadowed Kmart in our town. People were enamored with Target and, to a lesser degree, Walmart.  Kmart sort of fell by the wayside.  For a couple of years, we didn't go to Kmart as often (still went, but just not as much as we went to Target).  But right after I graduated from high school, I saw an ad in the newspaper for a shoe sale and Kmart, right when I needed new shoes.  So...I went...and fell immediately back in love with my old stomping ground.  It was like an old friend.  It felt a little like stepping back in time, to a simpler part of my life.  Back to the days of Saturday outings, and contentment.  Life can become complicated as we grow up, and Kmart reminded me of the joy to strive for.  From then on, I became a loyal Kmart shopper once again.  I actually like their women's clothes and jewelry much better than either of their competitor's stores.

     Perhaps the very thing that I love about Kmart stores (all of them) is the very thing that has hurt their business.  Their consistency and nostalgia factor.  They haven't kept up with the times as much.  Or perhaps, more accurately, they were left behind in the dust.  They still sell updated clothing and products.  But walking through their stores has more the feel of walking through a departments store in 1988--during my happy childhood days.  The association is so strong for me that walking into Kmart makes me feel good inside, and immediate euphoria.  My hometown of Riverside, CA had four beautifully-kept Kmarts not long ago, and I would go to them regularly.

     The last few years have been hard on my favorite store.  More and more are closing.  Two of the Riverside Kmarts closed, and the third is slotted to close in the next month (which would leave only one open in my hometown).  We lived in South Dakota for a few years.  Our closest Kmart was in Sioux City, Iowa (the nearest larger city to us, about half an hour away).  Sadly, the Sioux City Kmart closed, leaving the closest Kmart in Cherokee, Iowa--over an hour's drive away (I still went as often as I could).  We just moved to Albuquerque in August, and the Kmart here closed a month later (we got a lot of things we needed at their closing sale).  Yesterday, I just had to have a Kmart fix, so I drove the hour north to Santa Fe, where there is a Kmart.  I had a blast, but was told by a cashier that they live in dread that their store will close, like so many others have.  I hate to admit this, but the future doesn't look good.  I find myself sadly wondering if the entire chain will disappear, becoming a byword for a once-mighty business gone to the dogs. 

     I know I'm not the only person who loves Kmart and doesn't want to see it fold.  Revelation 3:2 says, "Be watchful, and strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die."  This is part of why I give them business whenever I can.  It's like voting, I can't do much, but if we all do it, it can make a difference.  I am sure there are many people like me, who have memories and stories from Kmart. 

     Kmart is just one of several things I try to hang onto.  Things that matter to me, carry memories, and make me feel the safety of another time...things that are in danger.  On the point of death.  Forgotten and lonely.  A church I grew up at and loved became this way.  Corona Heights Baptist Church.  It died completely by the time I was high school.  Losing it was very hard.  All I have now are the precious memories that I can thankfully still share with good friends I had from there.  This is really the key to my happy memories of childhood, and everything I associate with it. Like Kmart. 

     Several other places made me happy and then went out of business.  Borders Books, B. Dalton, Bob's Big Boy (which has made a slight comeback, but isn't doing the greatest), and Mervyns were a few places I loved to go, and have many happy memories in.

     The Carousel Mall, in San Bernardino, California, died a slow death.  Growing up in Riverside more, we went to the Tyler Mall, which is still going strong, but I was aware of the Carousel Mall.  Part of their problem was that they were only a mile from the more successful Inland Center Mall, also in San Bernardino.  There was some poor management as well.  At any rate, the Carousel Mall officially closed in 2017.  In the early 2010's, I would go there often, walking around the near-vacant mall.  I could just feel the stories and memories there.  Lives lived.  Families going Christmas shopping.  Nervous men proposing to ecstatic women.  Friends "hanging out".  They had originally had three anchors, Harris, Montgomery Wards, and JC Penney, closing in 1998, 2001 and 2003, respectively.  By the 2010's, there were about twelve or so stores still open, and I gave them so much business.  I loved their little Chinese restaurant.  When I got married, Walter and I got as much of our wedding stuff at this mall as we could (my engagement ring, having my wedding dress altered, getting my nails done for the wedding, etc.).  We got good prices on these things, because they didn't get as much foot traffic, and were willing to charge much less (the engagement ring was 1/5 of what we were quoted for a similar ring at the Tyler Mall).  We also got the personal touch of their gratitude.   They were just hanging on, and appreciated that we thought of giving them our business for our engagement and wedding.  They were delighted to be part of our story.


         My point in all of this is to hold onto what is precious.  Everything in this world will one day end, and only what is eternal matters.  People matter.  Relationships matter.  Churches matter.  Lives matter.  Hold onto those things.  Don't give up.  Don't let go.  Don't jump ship.  Kmart is a store.  No store will last eternally.  But the memories from that time in my life are eternal.  Time with family.  Time soaking up God's goodness, and being content.  Isaiah 46:9-10 says, "Remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning..."  Zechariah 4:10 says, "For who hath despised the day of small things? For they shall rejoice..."  Let's remember these small, forgotten things.  Things that are on the point of death. 

Saturday, October 6, 2018

What's Your Cross?

     You want to know what's really wrong with the world?  In one sentence, the problem is that people don't want to obey Jesus.  It's that simple.  Every problem on earth stems from that.  We live in a world full of people who want to indulge their every whim and desire.  If it feels good, do it.  Don't let anyone stop you from making yourself happy (even if it infringes on the happiness of others).  Look out for number one (that's you).   Jesus' message was so different than this.

     A lot of people know only one thing that Jesus ever said, that's found in Matthew 7:1 (Judge not, lest you be judged).  Even those who don't believe in the Bible quote this at people who disagree with them.  People foolishly think that "judging" means we can't have reservations about things, or disagree with them.  We can't say things are wrong.  That isn't what Jesus was saying.  If you read the passage in its entirety, it is actually talking about making the right judgments.  Using the common sense God gave us to form conclusions isn't a sin.  God Himself clearly judges sin and wrongdoing (Hebrews 9:27, For it is appointed unto man once to die, and after this the judgment. Exodus 34:7 ...but He will by no means clear the guilty).  Jesus had to die for it, or none of us could be saved (First Peter 3:18 For Christ died for sins, once for all, the righteous for the unrighteousness...). God is the One who sets the standard of right and wrong.  We can't decide to change it based on what society is saying about things, or about how we personally feel about it.  There are certain things I would be very easy to sway about, but I'm not the standard.  I never make statements about things being right or wrong simply because I decided it.  I decided to agree with God, and what He has said in His Word.  I will also add that I have many friends who disagree with me about things, and I don't think they're judging me, nor am I judging them.  If any of you reading this think I am wrong about anything I state, please show me from God's word where I am wrong, and I will listen to you.  If you don't have the Bible to back up your disagreement, you are still welcome to share your thoughts, but I will not change mine.

     A much less popular statement Jesus made is found in Luke 9:23.  If anyone will come after Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow Me.  Jesus talks about self-denial, something that is so politically incorrect we never hear about it from society.  Our world feels that we should never ask anyone to deny what they want or feel.  But Jesus does...to each of us.

     Jesus asks us to deny ourselves, take up our crosses daily and follow Him.  What does that look like?  It's a little different for each of us.  We all have different crosses to bear.  I once heard a beautiful story.  A man was struggling with the cross he was called to bear daily.  He asked God to give him a different cross, so God took him into a room full of crosses.  They were all difference sizes.  One was as big as the whole room.  After looking at these different crosses, the man said to God, "I think I'll take this small one right here," to which God replied, "That's the one you came in with."

     I will never flippantly tell someone to suck it up when they are struggling with their cross.  I have no idea what struggle they have, or what it feels like.  I'm not them, nor are they me.  Trite answers won't encourage them in their personal battle.  The encouragement I can leave them is what the Lord said to the Apostle Paul about his "thorn in the flesh" in Second Corinthians 12:9, My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.  We also have a promise from First Corinthians 10:13, there hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man, but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted about that ye are able, but will with the temptation also make a way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.  We never have to sin.  We never have to give in.  God is faithful.  There is always another way!  We have to hold to what God has said.

     As I said, everyone has different crosses.  Some crosses are lifelong, while others are for a season.  When I was single, I struggled with sexual desires.  I did not have a husband at the time, and according to the Bible (First Corinthians 7:2, Hebrews 13:4, and many other places in context), sex is for marriage.  Since I wasn't married, sex wasn't for me at that time.  It was hard, sometimes harder than others.  I chose to agree with God.  Unfulfilled sexual desires were something I had to take up daily, and still choose to obey God.  God fulfilled me, deep in my heart.  That turned out to be a special time in my life of deep Christian friendships and growing in Christ.  I loved my job, friends, and church.  I had time and opportunity to store up treasures in Heaven.  And, with God's help, I denied myself and my desires, took up my cross daily, and followed Jesus.  I am now happily married, and those desires are fulfilled.  But I still have a cross.  Right now, I am struggling with anxiety, an old cross that had disappeared for a while and now resurfaced.  But I take it up daily, surrendering it to Jesus, and following after Him.  It is something I can choose to indulge, or surrender.  I'd rather surrender.

     I know I'm going to step on toes, but so did Jesus, so here I go.  There are people who genuinely have same-sex attraction, and people who struggle with their own gender.  I don't claim to understand any of this.  I am not a doctor, nor a psychiatrist.  But I do know Jesus.  I know the Bible.  God is our perfect creator, so we must assume that He made no mistake when He crated any of us the gender we are (Psalm 139:13-14, for You created my inmost being, You knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and Isaiah 45:9 Woe to those who quarrel with their Maker...does the clay say to the potter, what are you making? Does your work say, the potter has no hands?).  People with this struggle have quite a cross.  But Jesus is calling them to deny themselves, take up that cross, and follow Him...just like He is calling me to do it.  As for same-sex attractions, I can't clam to understand how that feels, though I do know what it means to have unfulfilled sexual desires (see above paragraph!).  I believe the feelings are legitimate, but those relationships are not God's will (Romans 1:18-32).  Therefore, same-sex attraction is a cross.  Just like all of us, they are called to deny themselves, take up their crosses daily and follow Jesus.  And just like unmarried heterosexuals, they are called to celibacy.  God is able to fulfill them.  In fact, I truly believe some people who will get the most rewards in Heaven are those who struggled with sexual desires God did not want them to exercise, so they denied themselves, took up their crosses, and followed Jesus.  Perhaps only their closest friends ever knew the struggle raging inside them.

     Some crosses have nothing to do with sexuality.  Some are illnesses, interpersonal relationships, uncomfortable situations, living in a difficult place, or any number of other things.  No matter what the cross is, the solution is the same.  Deny ourselves, take up that cross daily, and follow Jesus.  Surrender is sweet.  There are rewards in heaven, as well as on earth.  In my sexual desires of my single years, God met me in some precious ways once I surrendered.  In my current anxiety cross, God is again meeting me, and answering prayers in some very special ways.  His Word is coming alive more.  I have a deep joy that nothing in life can give me.

     America promises life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  Jesus offers something even better.  Eternal life, freedom indeed, and joy.  I choose Jesus.  I choose to agree with God.