For years, I could never articulate why that preacher bothered me. I agreed with him on most of the "bullet points" of the faith--certainly with all the "essential" doctrines for salvation. And yet every time I heard him preach, or had contact with any of his members while going about my ministry, I felt frustrated, almost like I wanted to argue with them. I am currently reading a book endorse by this particular preacher, and I am seeing the same patterns, and I finally realized what the issue is. This pastor, this author, and many other people flatten others into stereotypes that aren't true or fair--those they disagree with--those with any different view, even something minimally different. They misrepresent others, rather than understanding them. Right off the bat, I have a problem with it. We're told in Second Timothy 2:24-25, The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth.
It is always a temptation to flatten people we don't agree with into caricatures. To simplify their view into something foolish-sounding, and treat those who hold their view as simple-minded fools who didn't even think through their position. Along with this, people's motives are often assumed and simplified, rather than understood. This isn't right. Proverbs 18:13 says, He who gives an answer before he hears, It is folly and shame to him.
People of various religions and worldviews do this flattening of others. Some examples are:
* As a Conservative Republican, I often encounter Liberal Democrats who imply that I'm an idiot for not holding their view, without wanting to understand how I arrived at my conclusion. The few I have met who want dialogue, I have liked very much, and they have liked me, even though neither of us changed our views. For the record, I know Conservatives often do the same simplification and misjudgment to Liberals.
*As another example, my mother was a strong advocate of homeschooling in the 80s and 90s, and eventually somewhat of a leader. People who didn't like homeschooling flattened her into a control freak who wanted to manipulate her children's lives and didn't want them to have any life outside of her control, which couldn't have been further from the truth. We grew up involved heavily in our neighborhood, community, church, and hobbies that we chose. My mother and the mothers of my friends even allowed us to do things I would probably never allow my son to do now, such as ride our bikes to the shopping center to get ice cream or sodas without an adult.
*During Covid, there were different views, with some believing wearing masks and staying home was the right thing to do to avoid the risk of spreading the disease, while others believed it was about government overreach and that saying home and wearing a mask were not effective. I am in the second camp there. But, both sides flattened the other, into government-controlled robots, or hateful people who didn't care if they infected others. Neither assessment was necessarily fair or true.
The problem with all of these (and other) examples is that there is no nuance. No looking at the person of the opposing view as a person who might honestly believe they have a good reason for their stand. Most people are not as extreme as the opposition would make them. Most really are nuanced in their view, and most would respond well to kind dialogue. Some good advice is found in James 1:19-20: This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.
Christians of different views often do this flattening to each other. It's sad to see that happen. Here are some examples I see a lot between believers:
* A common issue I see this with is Christians who believe you can fall from grace and lose your salvation, and those who believe Christians are eternally secure in their salvation (I fall into the second category). Both sides demonize the other. As a believer in eternal security, I find those who disagree with me claiming that I must believe God is okay with sin, and that anyone who believes in eternal security believes it's okay to keep sinning (assuming we've never ready Romans 6:1)! Some on my side simplify the opposite view, and act as if those who believe you can lose your salvation believe in works-based salvation, or think that if you sneeze hard enough, you can lose it!
*Some Christian families have very strong opinions about things like how to best raise and educate their children. I referred to homeschooling earlier. It's true that my mother unfairly had people flatten her and other homeschoolers into a stereotype because they didn't like it. However, I have seen a lot of Christian homeschool families flatten public school students and teachers into extremist secular humanists, when this is not true for most of them at all. I've seen some of these homeschool families pass judgment on fellow Christian families who do not homeschool. Personally, I have worked in public school, home schooling, and private school. There are wonderful and terrible people involved in all of these methods. I currently teach in a private Christian school, and have in the past as well, and that is my preference of the three choices mentioned, but I will always be open to how God leads our family, and try to afford others respect and consideration for God's guidance for them.
*Another Christian disagreement I have seen is a three-way conflict. It's the disagreement of those who believe certain sign gifts in the Bible (speaking in tongues, prophecy, healing, etc.) are no longer in operation today, those who think they COULD be in operation (but are cautious), and those who absolutely believe they are around and report exercising these gifts as a part of their life and experience. In that issue, I'm in the middle view--open but cautious. The strong ceassationists (those who are convinced beyond all doubt that theses gifts are not around today) often see those who practice them as bizarre, not biblically grounded, deceived, and mumbling in gibberish. This is not a fair portrait, because I know many of these sign-gift-practicing Christians who are scholars, and are humble about it, and have real and deep communion with the Lord. On the other end of the extreme, those who are into the sign gifts often paint those who don't practice them as wooden, with no real encounter with the Holy Spirit. Again, this is unfair. There's no nuance to the other side. They're just seen as foolish and wrong. Since I'm in the middle view, I am often seen critically from both extremes, as if I'm on the fence and not making a commitment to truth.
Before I go further, I will strongly state that I do believe in absolutes. I'm not encouraging you to see opposing views as equally valid or right. That is logically impossible. Some things are absolutely right, and others are absolutely wrong. There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death. (Proverbs 14:12). God's word is my standard. In everything I believe, I have tried to go back to scripture, and in the integrity of my heart, I'm convinced that I am correct (no one believes something they think is incorrect!). Romans 14:5 says that Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind. I believe what I have found to be true. My parents raised me, and my beliefs are similar to theirs on most things, but I had to make them my own, and weigh them for myself, wrestle with truth and God. That largely happened when I was eleven years old, thinking of life and scripture for myself. There are things I believe differently than my parents as well, and that's okay. They always encouraged me to search things out.
If I am not encouraging you to validate others' views as being the truth, what am I doing? I am suggesting we see people as intelligent and valuable creations of God. I am suggesting we get to know them and how they arrived at their beliefs. How can we convince anyone of the truth if we don't even respect how they arrived where they are? Just saying, "Well you're wrong!" won't convince them of this. Validate their journey without validating their conclusions as being the truth. Understand what they really believe. Don't just build a straw man of what you THINK they believe. Humbly asking questions will go MUCH further than ridiculing and flattening them. If your view is correct, it can withstand polite dialogue with others. If not, then maybe you need to adjust your view. Once you know what others really believe and teach, you can better examine why YOU hold the view you do, and refine your reasons for believing it. First Peter 3:15 says, But sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence. Be ready to share the truth, but do it kindly and humbly. So many miss one or the other. Some are kind, but refuse to stand on truth. Others stand on truth, but are cruel and hard.
In the end, this is not a call to uncertainty, compromise, or theological minimalism. It is a call to confidence that is secure enough to be humane. Colossians 4:6 urges us, Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person. Truth does not need caricatures to survive, nor does it advance through contempt. There are bright and beautiful people who have drawn different conclusions than you have. They may be wrong, but they deserve your respect, as image-bearers of God. If we truly believe God’s Word is sufficient and true, then we can afford to listen carefully, speak accurately, and treat others with dignity—even when we firmly disagree. Flattening people may feel decisive, but it is neither persuasive nor faithful. Clarity paired with humility honors both the truth we confess and the God who revealed it.
