Treasures in Heaven

      Two friends grow up in a one-horse town, and both are dying to break free.  Both are Christians, and long to do something big for God.  One friend uses his outgoing personality, determination, and intelligence to get a few degrees, then travels the world debating against worldly philosophies with the best of them.  Revivals seem to break out wherever he goes as people re-think their beliefs in light of his persuasive arguments in favor of the truth.  Thousands are saved as a result of his work, and he receives recognition from media outlets.  

     The other friend just doesn't seem as motivated, and, even though he longed to get ouf of town, he ends up settling down there anyway, working a local retail job.  He quietly prays daily for his co-worker and customers.  He does his best, as unto the Lord, and eventually rises to the position of manager.  No one thinks that much about him, but he influences others for the Lord.  He has the opportunity to lead one of his sales associates to Christ, and sees their whole family baptized.  He himself gets married and raises a godly family.  He teaches Sunday school, and one summer even takes a group of boys up to camp.  He is never on television, never mentioned in any media outlet.  No one outside his circle knows his name.  

     This is the premise of a book my husband and I have talked about writing.  I'm not sure if we ever will, but we like the idea.  Which of these two friends would receive the most treasures in Heaven?  The surface answer would be to say the first, as his ministry is reaching so many more.  The more spiritual-sounding answer might be the second, because he isn't getting any attention in this life, so perhaps that figures into the heavenly treasures.  Or, perhaps the way it is worded is set up to make you guess the second one, as if to imply he is more humble.  But I want to suggest that both friends are being faithful to the Lord, and, assuming they are in obedience to His leading in their lives, they will both hear, Well done, good and faithful servant. (Matthew 25:23).  

     I have the interesting vantage point of having been in both ministry and secular employment.  I want to suggest that, if you are a Christian, everything you do has the potential to be a ministry.  Colossians 3:23-24 remind us, Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.  Did you catch that?  Whatever you do.  Not, "Whatever mission trip you go on" nor "whatever church job you have" but "whatever you do."  All work God leads us to, whether it seems like a ministry or not, is really serving Christ, and doing it as unto Him gains us Heavenly rewards (hence the words inheritance from the Lord).  Likewise, while we are doing these jobs, Second Corinthians 5:20 says, We are Christ's ambassadors...  We are never off duty from representing Jesus.  In my made-up scenario, both friends are being Christ's ambassadors in the calling they've been given.  

     Being called "into the ministry" is an honor, but the truth is, every believer has a ministry.  Some of us are employed by a mission agency or church, while others are not, but our real boss is God, and we are to serve Him in every way He gives us.  He has called some to pastor churches, go to mission fields, lead evangelistic crusades.  If that is your calling, you must obey.  But if every Christian were doing these things, who would represent Jesus to the McDonald's employees?  Who would represent Him at the local mechanic shop?  Jesus said, You are the salt of the earth and the light of the world (Matthew 5:13, 14).  God scatters us into the various places where we'll make that impact for His kingdom.  

     For a while, I worked for the YMCA.  I loved that job, though it was more or less very secular.  Due to government funding, we weren't supposed to share anything religious with the students (I was working with before and after school elementary day care).  However, I had my calling.  I prayed for children, even when they didn't know.  I reasoned that God had me there to pray for kids who perhaps had no other human on earth praying for them.  It was an honor.  Many Christians I know who work in public schools have shared having that same calling to pray for children.  In my case at the YMCA, I was able to share my faith with them at opportune times (when we shared the Thanksgiving story each November, it lent itself to that).  In my five years there, I led one child to Christ (it was a divine appointment), and had others seriously ask me about salvation, and I was able to plant those seeds.  We had a college student who was volunteering with the YMCA, assigned to me for a while.  This young lady was from China, and had purposely come to college in the US so she could learn about God.  God gave me the opportunity to speak truth to her that she hasn't heard under Communism.  I was also able to represent Christ to co-workers who knew I was a Christian, one of whom was actually a practicing witch and opposed me much of the time.  I was still able to leave her with a blessing.  That was a divine calling--as divine as anything I'm doing right now in "full-time ministry".  It's all full-time ministry in it's for Jesus.  My time at the YMCA was so rewarding, and I'm so thankful God gave that to me.

One of the few pictures I was able to find of myself in my YMCA uniform!  I worked a split-shft, and I Walter took this one while we went to lunch before my afternoon shift started, 2015.  I think I wore that uniform so much that I got sick of it, and always put on other clothes before I had my picture taken, which is why so few have me in that uniform!

     I have had people sweetly say to me, "You're going to have so many treasures in Heaven for all the ministry you do."  This is so kind of them, and I appreciate that--and I hope it's true.  However, I do not believe my job entitles me to more treasures than the next Christian.  The Walmart employee who is obediently in God's will for him and being that salt and light where God has placed him is just as eligible for those rewards as Greg Laurie or the late Billy Graham leading their crusades that bring thousands to Christ.  It's about obedience.  God is the one who grants the fruit.  We obey.  There are people that Walmart employee can reach for Jesus who would never go to a Greg Laurie crusade.  He has placed us where He wants us, and given us that calling.  

Greg Laurie sharing the gospel with hundreds

Think of how many people this Walmart employee rubs shoulders with every day.  Think of the impact for Christ!

     Being an "official" pastor or missionary doesn't mean higher ranking with God.  It actually means harsher judgment.  James 3:1 warns, Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.  If you are in a position of influence, be careful you are saying what God wants, not what you want.  You could lead others astray.  Everyone needs to be faithful to God's calling.  

     I always laugh when I share this, but I graduated from my Bible College as salutatorian of a graduation class of two!  Both of us were straight A students, and we both graduated Summa Cum Laude, but I had gotten one B in one class, and the valedictorian hadn't.  But anyway, both of us got to give a speech at graduation, and in mine, I felt compelled to challenge everyone "Follow Jesus with everything that is within you--because all the degrees and knowledge in the world can't make up for the lack of it."  The same could be said for what you do in your life.  Follow Jesus, not ministry positions.  If Jesus is leading you to a ministry job, that's wonderful.  If He is leading you to a "secular" job--be it business, education, retail, whatever--that's also wonderful.  He has you right where He wants you!  If you are called to life a godly life in your community with your job, don't stoop to become a missionary.  If you are called to be a missionary, don't do anything else!  God's will is more important than title.  

My Bible college graduation, June 4, 2006 (I was 24 at the time).  I am pictured with the valedictorian.  It was a wonderful time.  

     I'll close with the words to a song from my youth, For the Sake of the Call, by Steven Curtis Chapman.

We will abandon it all for the sake of the call

No other reason at all but the sake of the call

Wholly devoted to live and to die

Not for the sake of a creed or a cause
Not for a dream or a promise
Simply because it is Jesus who called
And if we believe we'll obey

Steven Curtis Chapman's 1990 album, For the Sake of the Call

No Time Like the Present

     Last weekend (March 15, 2025) my husband and I went to see the stage production Back to the Future, the Musical in downtown Little Rock.  I promised I would share my thoughts on this musical, inspired from one of our favorite movies.  I will be doing that, but I will also be taking a deeper look at what can be gleaned from the message of this story (both the movie and the stage production).  I hasten to say that I always worry about remakes, because they often seem to push an agenda that wasn't in the original source material, and I really worried about this, but I didn't see anything like that in this musical.  If you loved the movie, you'll love the musical.  

Walter and Janelle Stoermer at the performance, 3/15/25

     We grew up when the Back to the Future franchise was coming out, and very popular.  Walter and I watch the trilogy every New Year's Eve/Day.  Watching it is both nostalgic and fun.  It is thought-provoking as well.  

Playbill from the performance

     Overall, we really enjoyed the stage performance.  It was the familiar story we love, with some fun, catchy songs (seriously, look up the soundtrack online and find the songs on YouTube).  There were some details that were changed (I'm sure) in order to fit better onto the stage as opposed to the screen.  Some scenes were conflated (I assume) for the same reason.  These changes did not affect the storyline at all, however.  The actors were all very talented, but can't compare to Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd's 1985 performance.  We liked the musical a lot, but would say the movie is better.  Just so as not to give away spoilers, I will put an asterisk* at the last paragraph of this post, and I will share some of the things that are different between the movie and the musical, if you're interested.  

 

     This beloved story resounds with a lot of people.  The basic plot is that 17-year-old Marty McFly accidentally ends up traveling to 1955, and disrupts his parent's initial meeting and falling in love, thus endangering his own existence.  The rest of the movie is spent with him (along with his mentor, Doc Brown) trying to reconnect his young parents with each other, then get back to the future (hence the name of the movie!).  Through some unexpected plot-twists, he is successful in the end.  In fact, he is so successful that, when he returns to the present (1985), not only is his family still together, but they are all at a much better place, with more confidence and success.  In the original timeline, the villain, Biff Tannen, is Marty's father's abusive boss, but in the new timeline at the end, Biff works for the McFly family.  Marty's college-aged older siblings have more direction in their lives.  Marty's father is a successful author.  His parents' marriage is stronger.  

     The musical is only based on the first film, but in the second movie, Doc Brown, Marty, and Marty's girlfriend Jennifer travel to 2015 to try to prevent a problem with Marty and Jennifer's kids (they are married by 2015).  They solve that problem, but create others, causing more time-travel needs.  The third movie is a continuation of the story, but mostly takes place in the old west of 1885.  A part of that story has Doc Brown saving the life of a school teacher named Clara, who originally died in the old timeline.  In saving her life, he creates a time paradox, because now, Clara could marry someone who originally would have married someone else, and continue a different family lineage.  Fortunately, Doc Brown falls in love with her, and they marry by the end of the movie, creating their own family and not disrupting anyone else's.  There are a lot of time-travel thoughts this series can evoke.  

     A lot of people go down a lot of rabbit holes with this story.  Some question if Marty's parents eventually realize the friend who helped them in 1955 was really their time-traveling son after he is born and grew up to look and sound just like him.  Some speculate how Marty's memories of the earlier timeline (which was changed) would be disturbing to him that no one else shares those memories.  There are a lot of thoughts that can come up from the story, not to mention  (as I said) from the second and third films as well.  Time-travel is a fascinating idea, and could lead to a lot of results--if it were real.  

     This story brings to mind how a single event can change the trajectory of one's life.  While time-travel isn't possible (and never will be, because if it would, someone would have already traveled back in time to tell us!), the significance of a single moment is very real-to-life.  Humanly-speaking, we can change history by the way we go about our daily lives and business, by the relationships we form, the directions in life we pursue.  The decisions we make can alter the course of our own lives, and affect others' lives as well.  This, in turn, can change history.  We all have those pivotal moments, where our decision will send us one direction or another, and affect other people and their trajectory in life.  

     I think of the moment in 1999 when I had to choose where to do my internship into the child care field.  I had done observations at two centers, both in my hometown. They were very similar, and had been started by the same person.  They were Christian organizations.  Both seemed perfect.  But I could choose only one.  The only thing that made one of them slightly more attractive was its closer proximity to the freeway I drove, so for that reason alone, I chose that center.  It ended up being the very best for me.  I built some relationships that are still a blessing to me today.  My boss there currently supports our missionary work.  I faced some challenges there that matured me in the Lord, that I don't believe I would have faced at the other center.  I ended up being able to share the gospel with others, and will see several in Heaven because of my time there.  I later ended up getting to do ministry there, seeing more come to the Lord.  But it all started that single moment when I chose that particular location, due to convenience.  It might have felt like my choice, but I believe God guided it.  

Some of the elementary students I worked with from my internship in 1999 and subdequent employment at this center, many of whom received Christ!

     I think of another moment in 2014, when I was invited to a Bible study by a mentor.  I had just been burned by a women's Bible study that was more like a Christian version of a mean girls club.  I was tempted to turn this offer down, and yet I chose to go.  Something deep inside told me to go.  I did, and it changed my life forever.  I received so much, and ultimately met my husband because of it!  It goes back to that moment when I chose to either go or not.  

     I think of that moment in 2020, when my husband's job in Texas closed due to Covid.  We pursued a few things, but they didn't seem to lead anywhere.  We lived out of our savings, but that was a short-term solution.  Then, a friend from the ministry we currently serve in told us about an opening in Arkansas.  In that moment, we had to decide if this was what we wanted to pursue or not.  It seemed like a God thing, and we did it, and here we are!  

Our first prayer card upon taking this position

     I think of that moment in 2021, when we were pursuing adoption.  We had originally planned to go through a private agency, and had even been accepted into one.  And then, my mother-in-law sent us an advertisement for Indian Child Welfare, with the Cherokee Nation.  The ad said that if one of the spouses in a couple was part of the tribe, the couple could adopt through them (Walter is a tribal member).  We had to decide if this was what we wanted to do, or if we should proceed with our original plan.  We chose the Cherokee Nation, and, after mountains of paperwork and a lot of waiting, we got our Tommy.  There is no doubt that this was the right decision.  

Tommy's adoption hearing, Fort Smith, Arkansas 2023.  Several people who impacted his journey are pictured, including the judge, Tommy's wonderful Cherokee and DHS social workers, his amazing attorney, and the Christian foster family who had him before us, and prayed he would get a Christian adoptive family. Walter, Tommy and I are pictured of course, and Walter's parents are also in the picture.  We were so happy they could make it!

     I think of the moment last spring, when I found out about an opening for a first-grade teacher at Pinnacle Classical Academy, the school we had enrolled our son in for Pre-K the fall of 2024.  The hours would still allow for my CEF ministry work (and Walter would still be doing a lot of it while I did the school as well).  I had to decide if I wanted to step up and do this.  Also, within this decision, I had to decide if I wanted to teach first grade or fourth (there were openings for both, and I actually interviewed and demonstrated teaching for both positions).  God clearly led and opened the door for me to teach first grade.  I have been so blessed by getting to be at Tommy's school and see him throughout the day, and also share the Gospel with my students (seeing several come to Christ this year).  

My first grade class on school spirit day last fall (which is why there is a lot of blue and yellow clothing--the school colors--and one child is dressed as an owl--the mascot!).  

     I'm sure you have moments in your life that were pivotal.  If you had Doc Brown's DeLorean time machine, you could probably go back and undo those moments, and risk your present life as you know it.  I'm glad we don't have that opportunity!  But we do have the present, and the chance to choose, and then see the results.  We can know how differently life would be if we had chosen differently.  Moments matter.  Our choices matter.  Life matters.  

     Looking at how crucial those pivotal moments are (and the way Back to the Future illustrates how fragile they are, and how much hangs on them), we need to value the gifts of life and choice we've been given.  We need to make the right choices in those important moments.  Scripture attests to this.  Ephesians 5:17 says, Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. (NLT).  God is the one guiding our decisions, and we need to seek Him.  Isiah 30:21 says, And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.  We need to be following God's leading in our lives, in the big things (like where to move, whom to marry, etc.) and the seemingly small (which Bible study to join, etc.) because those life-changing moments can happen anywhere, anytime.  Following God's will for our lives is vital, but there's something even more to it that than that.  

     Unlike in Back to the Future, we can't screw up history, because there is Someone holding it together who is stronger than our right and wrong choices.  We need to make the right choices, but sometimes we don't.  God is bigger than our choices.  He is Sovereign, and He often works in spite of us.  Isaiah 46:10 says, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose,’  This verse is such a comfort to me.  Ultimately, God's will is accomplished.  We might suffer from our wrong choices.  Think of Jonah. in the Old Testament.  He could have avoided the whole big fish experience if he had simply obeyed in the first place.  In Jonah's story, God gave him another chance to obey the original calling, but we aren't always afforded that.  God's will is still accomplished, but we miss out.  My pastor in high school used to tell the story about how he was attending a funeral, and he felt compelled to stand up and share the Gospel with those present.  He felt awkward and didn't really want do to do it, and talked himself out of it.  In that moment, another Christian there stood up and shared the Gospel instead.  God's message went out, but my pastor missed out on the blessing of obedience.  

     Romans 8:28 is my very favorite scripture, and this verse tells us that with God, all things work together for good to them that love God, who are the called according to His purposes.  We can get into some theological quagmires by asking, "Is sin God's perfect will?  If so, did someone's sin against me ruin God's perfect will for my life?"  God's counsels stand--that has been established.  Sin is never God's perfect will, but God can turn it around and use it for His will, for His glory in our lives.  Nothing can come into your life without passing through the hand of God.  Will you let Him turn your trials into His success stories?  

     I knew a couple who got divorced when I was growing up.  Everyone who knew them said that they should never have gotten married to begin with.  That got my eleven-year-old mind to thinking.  If they shouldn't have gotten married in the first place, did that mean that God never planned to create their kids, both of whom were believers?  Were they a mistake?  My answer to that now is a resounding NO, they were NOT a MISTAKE, and YES, God planned to create them.  He chose them in Him before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:5).  We can't always reconcile things like an ungodly marriage with God's will to create a person, but no person ever created was outside of God's will for creation.    

     Back to the Future remains one of my favorite trilogy of movies, and we will probably watch it every New Years for the rest of our lives.  It is very thought-provoking about the importance of little but life-changing moments.  But unlike Marty McFly and Doc Brown, we are not carrying the weight of history alone, and that is an assurance!  

     *Changes between the movie and musical!  This list may not be complete.  Some are my own observations, but I also looked online at other reviews for some I may have missed.  Incidentally, there are some I caught that no one else seemed to mention.  

1) Doc Brown doesn't have a dog in the musical, whereas in the movies, he has Einstein in 1985, and Copernicus in 1955.  

2) Doc has an invention to leave Marty voice messages in his house, seen in the opening seen of the musical.  No such device is in the movie.

3) In the musical, Principal Strickland is the judge when Marty's band tries out near the beginning (and rejects them), whereas in the movie, it is Huey Lewis.  In the musical, Jennifer has an uncle Huey who will come hear Marty peform the next day, so the character is still there.  

4)  Without the dog Einstein in the musical, Doc Brown is now the first time traveler. 

5)  In the movie, Doc Brown is shot by Libyan terrorists, and Marty has to change history to save him.  In the musical, this death is caused by radiation poisoning (in both movie and musical, the death is circumvented by Marty's warning in 1955, which Doc initially rejects but decides to accept, and he takes the needed precautions).

6) The DeLorean time machine is voice activated and only works for Doc in the musical.

7) When Marty first gets to 1955, in the movie, he meets Old Man Peabody and his family, who mistake him for an alien.  In the musical, he doesn't meet them, and leaves the DeLorean in the barn.  

8) In the musical, Marty doesn't trick his father George by pretending to be Darth Vader from the planet Vulcan, the way he does in the movie.  He doesn't have the radiation suit he does in the movie, so this eliminates this scene (as well as Old Man Peabody thinking he's an alien, as stated above).  Since Marty doesn't play this trick on George, we can surmise that George's later successful science fiction book is not based on this, as it clearly is in the movie.  

9) Rather than Marty pushing George out of the way of the car, he inadvertently breaks George's fall when he falls out of the tree outside Lorraine (Marty's mother's) home.  Marty is knocked out, and brought in by Lorraine's father.  

10)  When Doc Brown in 1955 asks Marty who the President is in 1985 and Marty tells him it's Ronald Reagan, Doc scoffs (in both the movie and musical) that an actor is president.  He then asks sarcastically, "Who's the vice President--" in the movie he asks, "Jerry Lewis" but in the musical, he asks, "Daffy Duck?"  In the movie, he then asks if the first lady is Jane Wyman (which is actually a mistake, because by 1955, Ronald Reagan was no longer married to Jane Wyman and was already married to Nancy Reagan).  In the musical, there is no question about the first lady.

11) In the musical, Biff has two henchmen, whereas in the movie, he has three.

12) In the musical, George tries to ask Lorraine out at school instead of in the diner like in the movie (my favorite scene in the movie is "I'm your density!" in the diner, but this scene is conflated with the school cafeteria scene.

13) Resulting from the last point, Biff now chases George and Marty through the school, instead of the skateboard chase through town.

14) In the musical, the picture of Marty and his siblings (from which they slowly vanish until Marty reunites his parents) is on a projector so the audience can see it.  The characters fade out before they disappear.  Marty's sister Linda actually calls to him from it in one instance, pronouncing the urgency!  The scene where Marty is on stage playing at the dance, and he is about to disappear, they can't actually make his hand fade away like in the movie, so they use flashy lights, until George and Lorraine kiss, and all is well for the future McFly children!

15) Biff and Lorraine's struggle is in an invisible car in the musical.  A prop wasn't used, and they are simply supposed to be in a car.  

16). Many characters in 1955 smoke in the musical.

17) Marty is locked in a dumpster in the musical, instead of a car like in the movie

18) Chuck Berry doesn't call his cousin as Marty plays Johnny B. Goode in the musical the way he does in the movie.  

19) Goldie Wilson has more of a roll, and an AMAZING voice as well.  He even helps Doc rig up the wires to the clock tower to help send Marty back to 1985.

20) In the musical, in order to prevent a time paradox when Marty tries to prevent Doc's 1985 death by warning him in 1955, Doc programs the DeLorean to go back ten minutes after he left, making it impossible for Marty to get back earlier to stop the death.  However, Doc had eventually read Marty's note, and still prevented his own death, and met Marty shortly after his return to 1985.  

21) There is no Lone Pine Mall, as Marty doesn't destroy Old Man Peabody's pine tree in the musical.  In the movie, the Twin Pines Mall is changed to the Long Pine Mall.  

22) In the new timeline in the movie, Marty's sister is getting pursued by two men, Greg and Craig.  In the muical, she is on a date with a boy named Craig.

23) In light of George McFly's successful book, there is now a George McFly day in the musical.  

24) In the musical, Doc Brown never references a need for Marty and Jennifer to go to 2015 to stop their future children from anything, which means there probably won't be a musical of the second movie.  

25) The second movie ultimately couldn't happen with the musical, because in the second movie, the problems stem from old Biff in 2015 stealing the DeLoreon and screwing up history (which Doc and Marty spend the rest of that movie resolving).  Since the DeLoreon is voice activated in the musical, Biff woudln't be able to steal it.  

26) There are joking references to the 21st century in the musical, even some humorous jokes referencing Covid (Doc tells Marty that he travelled to 2020 and there was no disease!). 

27) At the very end, when Doc takes Marty temporarily to the future, the date is said to be the present date (for us it was March 15, 2025).  

Ministry Qualifications?

     How mature should someone be before they're allowed to serve in some ministry role?  I remember going on mission trips as a teen and young adult.  There was always some spiritually immature team member who ruined the morale and experience for those who really wanted to serve.  I remember thinking, Why is this person even here?  Why don't the leaders do something about this?  When I became a leader in ministry, I tried to exercise discernment about who I allowed to serve.  My motive was wanting to have an environment God could work through, without someone causing trouble, especially ruining it for those with pure motives.  

     The enemy often uses Christian workers against each other to sabotage the ministry, and we have to be on guard (Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: First Peter 5:8).  Those in charge of ministry teams should be careful and pray for wisdom in selecting people who serve.  Someone who is not spiritually equipped could be a detriment to others, and even a legal liability.  However, true those this is, and while this has been an important topic to me for years, this is not what I'm going to talk about right now.  

     If we had to wait until our motives were perfect, no one would ever get the chance to serve the Lord.  God is the one who equips us (Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.  First Thessalonians 5:24).  Discerning leaders let God guide them to the right people He is calling to serve.  Samuel did this in First Samuel 16 when he anointed David as king.  He saw how tall and handsome Jesse's oldest son was, but the Lord dissuaded him from anointing him.  God eventually revealed David was His choice, and Samuel obeyed God's leading.  I wish the leaders of my teen and young adult mission trips had this kind of discernment.  I will never, ever believe that some of those I served with were called by God to be there.  He allowed it, for reasons I don't understand.  It caused me years of therapy and healing.  These were wrong scenarios, and the leaders who allowed these people on the teams were wrong.  And yet, in spite of this, God sometimes calls people we might not expect.  

     In Mark 6, Jesus sent out his disciples two-by-two.  They were given authority to preach, and cast out demons.  This was a pretty intense mission trip.  And yet they didn't fully understand the Gospel yet.  They didn't understand why He had come.  This understanding would come after the resurrection.  Even later in this same chapter of Mark 6, we are told that their hearts were hardened, and they were unable to understand the miracle of the feeding of the 5,000.  These guys weren't the spiritual giants they would later become.  In fact, the original 12 on this mission trip were far from a perfect group, because one of them was a traitor (Judas).  Knowing this all, Jesus still commissioned them anyway.  He gave them what they were ready for.  They were ready for a new revelation of Him, and He sent them to places they couldn't do too much damage (I saw this humorously!).  

     As you look back on what God has allowed you to do, think of how you have grown in knowing Him through serving.  These opportunities God gives us serve two purposes.  They grow us up in Him, and they also minister His truth to others.  He lets us serve Him, and it is an honor.  We don't have to be perfect to serve.  We uses these things to prepare us for bigger assignments later on that we might not have been quipped for earlier, but we still get to serve at that earlier point.  I'm sure this Mark 6 mission trip prepared the disciples for what they would do in Acts, but in no way were they ready for the kind of ministry they had in Acts back in Mark 6.  

     It is God's grace that we get to serve Him, and I'm so thankful!  He uses us in spite of ourselves at times.  As I remembered earlier, Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.

Culture

     A lot of people I read about who leave the faith and then write memoirs about it site wrong things Christians have said or done to them as a basis for discarding their beliefs.  This is very common for my generation--children of the 1980's, teens of the 90's, and adults of a new century.  Often, as they write these books about their journey (their "deconstruction" of their childhood faith), they talk about the sights, smells, sounds, and feelings of growing up in late 20th century Western Christian culture.  The nostalgia factor is very high for me as I read them, because I relate to that culture.  Sunday school.  Children's church.  AWANA (or similar midweek church programs).  Christian education.  Some of these stories are so close to my own for a while...until they've had enough.  Something in Christian culture ended up not gelling with them in early adulthood, and they deconstruct their faith.  

     Any group--a faith community, a club, a political party, a sports team, a workplace, even a family--develops into its own subculture.  In fact, the Christian school I teach at often refers to the culture of the school, meaning their environment, and what one can experience there.  This is normal.  Subcultures are part of the larger world, and everyone finds themselves in them.  

     Christianity is a faith, instituted by Jesus Christ, and preserved for millennia.  At the same time, it is a subculture, whether we like that or not.  As a faith, it is perfect, resting in the unchanging truth of God's Word.  As a subculture, it is flawed.  The subculture isn't based on the enduring truth of God's word.  It is based on people living out that faith, and these people are not going to be perfect.  Sometimes, Christians say and do silly things.  It is very important to distinguish between the truth of our faith, and the silliness of our culture.  We can still enjoy our culture.  We just need to make sure we're looking to Jesus and the Bible, not to the culture itself (looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith... Hebrews 12:2a)

     To give you an idea, I'm going to share some very silly things I experienced in Christian culture in my lifetime, but that were not in any way related to the truth of the Bible, or to Jesus as the Savior.  

     As a youth, I went several summers to a very strict Fundamentalist summer camp in the high desert of California.  Shorts had to reach the knee, and if they didn't, you were asked to change (I'm a rule-follower and I was even asked to change a couple of times when my shorts were a half-inch too short without my realizing).  They used the King James Bible.  If you brought any book besides the Bible (such as a novel, a devotional book--anything besides the actual Bible--the counselor would confiscate it for the week and return it to you when it was time to go home.  Rock music was said to be evil, and all music at camp was piano only.  They were very devout, with chapel twice a day (morning and evening), and we were encouraged to dress up in "church clothes" for the evening chapel.  Prayer, daily Bible reading, and scripture memorization were part of the program.  I got a lot out of this, even though I didn't 100% agree with all of their rules.  I am glad for my time there.

     In spite of being this devout and serious, they also told us some whoppers.  They told us that Indians lived in the hills nearby, and if you left your cabin at night, they might come and scalp you.  As if to strengthen their point, they told stories about a child from the previous summer who had been scalped.  They even took us on a nature hike, with a staged act where one of the counselors pretended to see an Indian chief and screamed, and had us run away back to our cabins.  No one else saw this supposed Indian chief, of course, but if we had, why not meet him and get to know him?  Why run away?  Can you believe how ridiculous?  They would never get away with any of this today, and I'm sure they don't tell these stories anymore (they might still lie, but probably not about Indians!).  One night, they took us on a hike to what they said was an Indian graveyard, and they warned us not to get too close, or we'd vanish into thin air.  Come on!  I never believed any of these tall tales, but some of the younger campers were really scared and cried.  Another lie they told us (which I sadly did believe for a while) was about the so-called sand bear.  It was a bear, they said, that lived underground in the hot summer months, but poked its nose up through the dirt to breathe.  They warned us not to kick any black rocks we saw, because it was probably a sand bear's nose.  They had a polar bear skin on the lodge wall, and they told us it was really a sand bear they had killed a few years ago.  They made up quite the tale about it, saying a child kicked a supposed black rock, and then the sand bear popped up and attacked him, until a counselor had the courage to kill him, and they hung the skin up to remind us all not to kick black rocks.  You know what's embarrassing?  Until I was in high school, I thought sand bears were real, due to their lie.  

     If they held such high standards about modesty, music, and using the King James Bible, why did they think it was okay to lie--violating a biblical command (Exodus 20:16)?  Where was their biblical standard when they told us these falsehoods?  I'm guessing they viewed it as camp fun, their version of ghost stories around the campfire.  Still, it was wrong on several levels.  But that doesn't make the Bible or Christianity untrue.  It doesn't even make everything else related to that camp untrue.  It was a foolish thing to do.  We all do foolish things at times that we later re-think and re-evaluate.  

     There are times Christians get worked up over certain things, and put more attention into that than in anything else.  One author of a book that nostalgically talked about growing up Christian (and still being Christian, but wanting to rant against Christianity at the same time) talked about how, as a young woman, her church did a whole series to debunk The Da Vinci Code and how stilly and foolish and overdone it was.  My thought on that is, maybe they saw a need.  Maybe the claims in that book were a threat to some people's faith, and they wanted to have answers.  I remember a few years before that, a church I was involved in did a big series about The Passion of the Christ as a means to welcome in people with questions.  Again, maybe they saw this as an open door, though it became kind of gimmicky.  I personally believe that simply teaching the Bible addresses anything pop-culture throws at us, without the need for a special sermon series about it.  Maybe these things were just silly and foolish.  But again, maybe upon thinking about it much later, they realized this.  Or maybe it really helped someone at the time.  

     I've had pastors I've really admired say incorrect things.  Most of the time, they meant well when they said it.  As a fourteen-year-old, I was wounded deeply in church in a way that still affects me today.  Some very wrong things happened to me.  At the next church we were at, while I was in high school and as a young adult, I loved the pastor dearly, but I disagree with some of the standards he upheld.  He believed so strongly that women shouldn't have spiritual authority over men (per his interpretation of First Timothy 2:12) that he wouldn't let woman teach any males over sixth grade.  Our high school class had a husband and wife teaching team.  One Sunday, the husband woke up sick, so the wife came alone.  The pastor only let the girls go to the class and made the boys go to the adult Sunday school class, because he really believed that to let them attend the high school class with the woman teacher without her husband was a violation of this verse.  After I did a mission trip (which the church supported), I was only given five minutes in front of the church to share a two-month experience, because he believed that if I went longer than 5 minutes, I would be preaching, thus violating that verse.  He had a stopwatch while I shared.  On the other hand, a man in the church who had also done a trip was given the whole service time to share.  You know what?  I might think this pastor's application of First Timothy 2:12 to be a little extreme, but I respect that he honored his convictions.  I personally don't think letting the boys go to Sunday school that day or giving me more time to share about my trip would have violated the verse, but I am glad that this pastor had his own convictions and wanted to do what he believed was right.  That's what integrity is. It would be easy to poke fun of it, but I am thankful for everything I learned from him, and I am thankful that I have formed my convictions about these things too.  

     There are a lot of foolish things Christian culture perpetuates.  Other believers might even let us down sometimes.  But that doesn't mean we give up the truth of God's word, nor does it even mean we stop living in community with other believers.  Hebrews 10:25 says, Let us not forsake the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.  Fellow Christians can encourage each other in the truth of God's word.  Maybe you can be that voice that speaks truth and rightness when you see something wrong.  Is your faith in the unchanging truth of Christ and the Bible, or is it in your pastor, your Christian friends, your circle?  Don't make the mistake many do.  Love your culture if you want, but love Jesus and the Bible more.  If your church or friends ever come crashing down around you, you will always have an anchor in Him.  We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. (Hebrews 6:19).  

     Next time you're tempted to give up on church or Christianity, rethink it.  I alluded to a very hurtful experience I had at 14 from people I trusted at church.  That experience destroyed my self-image.  To this day, I struggle with confidence because of it.  It's one of those things I have to keep choosing to forgive and put back in God's hands.  I expect I will until I'm perfect in Heaven.  Because I didn't go to counseling until several years later, I continued having hurtful things happen to me that compounded the pain.  I remember as a college student, facing another rejection, telling a friend, "My faith feels so weak right now."  To this, she replied, "Don't focus on your faith.  Focus on Jesus."  The best advice anyone has ever given me.  I'm where I am today because she uttered that God-inspired sentence.  And I now encourage you to do the same.  Focus on Jesus.  He won't let you down!  

Humbled

     Have you ever been humiliated?  Maybe someone made you look bad in public.  Maybe you failed at something in which you expected to succeed.  Maybe you did something wrong that was exposed.  Or maybe you did something right that was misconstrued in front of a lot of people, and you were misjudged and embarrassed.  However it happens--deserved or not--no one wants to be humiliated.  But what about humbled?  Have you ever been humbled?  Humbling and Humiliation are not that far off from each other.  I believe being humbled is a bi-product of how God can use our humiliation, if we let Him.  This, in turn, makes us more like Jesus, which is always the goal for Christians (For those whom he foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. Romans 8:29).  

     I am going to share about the most humbling experience I ever had, how it changed my life and outlook, and how it led me into odds with certain fellow Christians. 

     I was nineteen years old in 2001.  I was doing many things right in my life, both superficially and deep inside.  I was faithful in daily Bible reading and prayer.  I taught children in AWANA and Sunday school at our local church.  I wanted to obey God and do right.  I was even facing a moral dilemma at work, and earnestly seeking the Lord about what to do, and having victory in following God's will in the situation.  I was an obedient Christian witness, seeing many come to Christ.  I don't share any of this to toot my own horn.  I say all of this to illustrate that even those who are doing right and really love the Lord can fall into foolish patterns, and need God's help to get out of them.  

     The previous summer (2000), I had served on a very difficult mission trip.  It was difficult for many, many reasons, one of which was that a young man--a fellow missionary--had been a stumbling block to me.  There were so many red flags with this guy.  He had pursued me in a very immature manner.  He hadn't simply been friendly or acted like he wanted to get to know me, though perhaps that was what he meant to do.  He had stared me down, followed me around creepily, talked to me in weird voices and said random things that I didn't know how to respond to, and made awkward advances.  Many references to sex and marriage were made.  I was both attracted to him and horrified by him.  I was honestly interested, but I was overwhelmed by the way he was approaching me.  I didn't know how to respond to his unusual behavior.  I was very impressed by him when we'd do ministry together, and I wished he would change his methods of pursuit, because I actually wanted him to be "the one" for me.  I was eighteen then, and loved the idea of meeting my future husband while doing ministry.  

     Some of his advances sexually aroused me beyond what is right for unmarried people.  Before this experience, I knew I had a sex drive.  I knew I liked boys.  I had even had a boyfriend in junior high (pretty innocent, but there was attraction).  However, this experience with this guy awakened something in me that wasn't supposed to be awakened yet.  Song of Solomon 8:4 says, Do not arouse or awaken love until the time is right.  Everyone talks about how women shouldn't make men stumble by their clothing--and I agree.  But no one was addressing this man making me stumble, or even acknowledging a man could make a women stumble.  What he awakened in me was something strong and powerful, that I would not exercise until my wedding night--with a much better man.  

Janelle and Walter's wedding picture

     One particular night back in 2000, this young man from the mission trip came onto me in a way that totally and completely aroused and woke me up sexually.  I won't go into further detail than this.  It was a clumsy advance, but the passion was there, and in that moment, there was nothing I wanted more than to give myself to him--body, mind, and spirit.  That terrified me!  This wasn't supposed to happen.  Not like this!  

     Even beyond the Biblical/Christian side of it, it angered me that he was doing this without properly establishing his intentions.  I felt disrespected.  I believe he was a young man who let his hormones guide him--not a predator--but I felt unsafe, and furious.  I rejected his advance that night, and he cried about it, and refused to look at me after that.  I was devastated.  I was humiliated.  I still wanted him, and somehow felt that I could have done something different, and it might have caused him to pursue me the right way.  That was unhealthy on my part, and that's another story.  

     Those red flags were there.  He had been inappropriate.  Maybe he was immature and inexperienced, and should be afforded a little grace.  Okay, he has it.  But it still made me stumble.  All that next year, I regretted how things ended between us.  I wanted him so much, and I cried about how it had gone.  The next summer rolled around, and I found out both of us would be going on another mission trip, and be around each other again.  I decided then and there that if he was still interested in me, I was going to snag him.  

     What was driving me?  Was it genuine guidance from the Holy Spirit?  Was it genuine conviction from God that I had handled the situation wrongly the summer before and needed to make it right?  Was it a genuine desire for closure?  No, no and no.  It was sex.  I hate to say that, but it's true.  This man had awakened a very deep, God-given need.  This desire and need became the guiding force.  Even though I was doing right in many other areas of life, I wasn't seeking the Holy Spirit in this situation.  I was following my sex drive.  I'll even add that I wasn't motivated to try to have sex with him outside of marriage.  I wanted to marry him, and then have sex.  So what I wanted to do wasn't sinful in itself, but that didn't make it right.  

     The short story is, all I did was give this young man more opportunity to hurt me.  He aroused me even more, and spoke passionately about our future as man and wife, and of our honeymoon, and the children we would have together.  I really believed this was the Lord--but it wasn't.  It was two sinners interacting with spiritual-sounding words in a spiritual environment.  I read into so many "signs" to make it seem like God's will.  For example:

  1) I once prayed that if this was guy was God's man for me, I'd see a state flag without an American flag that day, and I did.

  2) I had this devotional book that had a verse for every day.  The verse for his and my birthdays happened to be from the same chapter of the Bible, and I took that as God's leading that we were meant to be together.

  3) We had these matching keychains, and every time I lost mine (or tried to get rid of it after that relationship ended), it somehow kept coming back to me, sometimes in mysterious ways.  I took that as God telling me to hold out for him (by the way, I eventually threw it into the Pacific Ocean and never got it back--good riddance).

  4) I took things like us both being late to breakfast one morning as God's orchestrating us walking to the cafeteria together and ending up together.

  5) There was a certain song we both liked, and whenever I'd randomly hear it--especially after the relationship ended--I thought God was causing me to hear it to tell me to hold out for him.  

     None of these things were God's leading.  If this guy had somehow been the one God had for me, those things would just be funny little coincidences that went with the greater way God would have led.  But it wasn't God's will, so they mean nothing.  NOTHING!  They were normal things that could have happened anyway.  I used them as a crystal ball, instead of trusting the Lord.  I was trying to spiritualize my sexual need by reading into things, and I was wrong.  Following my own way had led only to hurt and humiliation, and my need was still unmet.  

     When this relationship ultimately didn't work out, I was crushed.  I was wounded deeply.  My hopes and dreams seemed shattered.  That was when the real guidance of God began in my life.  After I was done doing it my way, for my own needs, I was able to really hear God's voice.  I realized that I hadn't been truly seeking His voice in my life about this situation.  I was seeking confirmation about things I wanted to do anyway.  I was doing what I wanted and asking God to bless it.  My sexual need (which was legitimate) had become my god (which was not legitimate).  When I realized this, I repented.  I was horrified by how easy it was to get into that.  I wrote in my diary at the time, Sometimes, you don't know how crooked your path has become until you put it next to a straight path.  I had gotten off-track.  But God was merciful.  He loves it when we repent and come to Him for help.  He is our helper (Hebrews 13:6).  

     In the midst of the hurt, I felt God's comfort, and His speaking to my heart and life.  He led me to a fruitful ministry in the Los Angeles area, where I was in my element, seeing many come to Christ.  One of the first young people who came to salvation was discipled in our ministry, and is now a full-time missionary herself.  

     When I repented of imposing my will over God's, I decided right then and there that I never wanted to be wrong like that again.  I wanted to hear God's voice for real, and know when He was speaking to me.  I didn't want to go about my merry way, only to discover too late that I had been wrong all along.  I didn't want to waste my time on anything that wasn't part of God's plan for me.  I wanted to live in obedience to the Lordship of Christ in every area of my life, including my sexual desires and eventual marriage.  I decided that a right relationship with God was more important than my plans working out.  

     I had been humiliated.  I had been humbled.  I wanted to read the Bible all the time.  I wanted to listen to messages about surrender and sacrifice.  I wanted to see God work in lives as only He can.  I didn't want fake imitations.  I wanted the real thing.  I'd had enough of my way and where it led.  

     This is a side note, but I remained a virgin until my wedding night.  It was hard, because after that night in 2000, I never got "un-aroused", but Jesus is truly enough.  We are all called to deny ourselves, take up our crosses daily, and follow Him (Luke 9:23).   This experience of unfulfilled sexual arousal for years is why I can't agree with those who say sexual sin is acceptable, and that it is unreasonable to expect people not to give into it.  Jesus is greater than that, and He can help us.  He helped me, even when it was hard and painful.  

     This humbling experience changed me for the better.  Before that, I was a good Christian who wanted to do right.  After this, Jesus was my everything.  Things that used to satisfy me didn't.  The next year, when I was 20, I became disillusioned with Christian bookstores, realizing that most of what was sold there wasn't meant for me.  There were a handful of Christian books I read that affirmed this truth, but most did not.  The Christian culture as a whole couldn't fulfill me.  Only Jesus could do it.  He became my Lord in a new way.  Only God's word, with the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit, could speak to my real needs inside.  I carried a pocket New Testament everywhere I went, and there were days I couldn't go thirty minutes without getting it out and reading it, needing the life-giving sustenance of God's word.  I was hungry, and only Jesus could satisfy me.  

     Because I had been humbled by following (and spiritualizing) my own way for a little while, I was very sensitive to Christian-sounding teachings that didn't line up with the truth.  Around this time, I ran into the teaching that basically says you can do whatever you want, as long as it isn't defined in the Bible as sin.  This teaching goes on to imply that God doesn't guide your life or actions, doesn't have a plan for our lives, and that you don't need to check with God before making decisions.  You can do whatever you want (provided it isn't defined as sinful in the Bible).  One Bible teacher I otherwise respect but disagree with on this point says that God will meet you on the other side of your decision and make it His will.  I don't see this anywhere in scripture.  In fact, I see the opposite.   Where does faith fit into this teaching?  

     God guided people all through the Bible.  There are more examples that I can name here.  One of my favorite examples early in the biblical narration is from Genesis 24.  Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for Isaac.  The servant realized how vital it was to have God's guidance, and prayed for some very specific things, and God met every one of them, revealing what Rebekah was the one He had chosen for Isaac.  Psalm 32:8 says, I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.  Isaiah 30:21 says, And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.  The Holy Spirit was given to believers in Acts 2.  Prior to this, Jesus told His disciples that the Holy Spirit would comfort and teach them (John 14:26).  Saved people in the book of Acts had the Holy Spirit's leading and guidance (Peter and Paul most notably).  God clearly led His people, in the Old and New Testaments.  Why would we think God stopped guiding His people?  

     I've used this example in other posts, but it fits here.  Jonah could be used as an example of someone who did something that wasn't defined as a sin, and yet he did sin, because he disobeyed God's specific leading.  There was no scripture in the Mosaic Law that told him it was wrong to get on a ship to Tarshish.  He could have used that logic. He could have said, "There's nothing in scripture that tells me I can't get on this ship."  And yet he was disobeying God's specific directions to him.  I believe that is true for us today.  It isn't enough to avoid things that are technically sin.  We need to be immersed in Jesus Christ, to the point that we hear Him and obey His directions.  

     A song that was popular among my mission trip friends and me in the late 90s and early 2000s was called In the Secret.  I love the chorus  It says, I want to know You/ I want to hear Your voice/ I want to know you more/I want to touch You/ I want to see Your face/ I want to know You more.  This song is about a consuming hunger for Christ, and to hear from Him.  That summed up the Lordship He wanted in my life.  Just avoiding sin didn't seem to fit.  

     I will say that avoiding sin is a good start.  If something is said to be a sin in God's word, we are right to stay away from it.  But the Christian life is so much more than merely avoiding sin.  It is about loving God more than our own desires.  It is about making Jesus the Lord of our decisions, not just our salvation (though He certainly must be the Lord of our salvation before anything else).  It is about a relationship with God, where He speaks to us, comforts us, and leads and guides us, and we obey, and see the fruit of that obedience, both in this life, and in eternity.  

     We don't need to agonize over daily decisions (I need to run to the post office and the grocery store--which one is God's will for me to go to first?).  We make our daily choices, surrendered to God's leading.  Sometimes, He redirects us, as He did with the Apostle Paul in Acts 16:6-10.   We recognize He is always at work.  We consider how He is guiding and directing our paths, and obey His leading to the best of what we know to do.  When we are wrong, we promptly admit it and repent.  We move on, doing the next right thing.  

     Ultimately, God is Sovereign.  He can override all that isn't His will.  But that isn't a reason to avoid seeking Him or His leading.  The idea isn't to always make perfect decisions, but to be surrendered to Jesus in all areas of life.  He, not our wants or desires (or even needs), should be guiding us.  If that surrender is there, we can be confident that our decisions will line up with God's will.  We will still make mistakes at times, because we are human, and that is the nature of being human.  But we get up and keep going.  

     As another side note, it is also important to know God doesn't always lead believers to do the same things.  Within God's Word and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, He can lead us differently, and we must respect that.  My husband and I are led to have our son in a Christian school (where I also teach).  Other friends of ours feel led to have their children in public schools they feel comfortable with.  Still others feel led to homeschool.  We all need to realize God can lead us differently in these things, and almost anything else in life.  Some believers are called into full-time mission work, while others are called to work an office job, or in retail, or something else.  Obedience to His leading is the key.  This means the obedient Walmart cashier will receive the same rewards in Heaven as the obedient missionary.  Obedience to God is key.  

     I was humiliated, and then humbled, by my mistakes in making my own choices.  That humiliation and humbling led to a deeper walk with Jesus, and a disagreement with teachings that didn't fit with this truth.  Several of my friends went down the road of making their own non-sinful decisions.  That wasn't enough for me.  When I die, it isn't enough that people would say at my funeral, "She made a lot of decisions that weren't sinful."  I'd much rather have them say, "Jesus was everything to her, and look what He did through her life.  I want that!"  

     In what ways have you been wrong?  How have you allowed God to transform your errors into His teachable moments to make you more like Jesus?