Exodus

     I recently read a book that was gripping, relatable, and heartfelt, but ended on a disappointing note.   Aside from the conclusions the author ultimately drew at the end, I would say it is a beautiful book, maybe one of the most enjoyable I've read lately.  I am referring to My Exodus, by Alan Chambers.  In it, Alan shares his story.  He was born into a Christian family, coming to Christ at age six.  Yet he had a problem.  He had unwanted same-sex attraction.  This did not align with his faith.  What was he supposed to do with it?  What is the right way for Christians to minister to those in his predicament, or to anyone identifying as LGBT (etc.)?  

     Alan shares his experience of receiving great help from the ministry Exodus International.  With accountability and God's help, he committed to celibacy.  Eventually, the Lord surprised him by bringing a wonderful Christian woman into his life.  He was attracted to her, and they fell in love.  Alan and Leslie have been happily married for almost thirty years now.  It was very interesting to read about his experience of being attracted to his wife, and at the same time, having these struggles of same-sex attraction.  His insights are invaluable. 

     As a Christian who loves God and people, and wants to stand on biblical truth, I was very interested in this book.  Alan's story has many beautiful parts, especially his love story with Leslie.  In spite of his general attraction to men, Leslie was his first and forever choice, and he is attracted to her.  They share a beautiful marriage and sex-life (nothing graphic was shared about that, but it was addressed).  He fully acknowledges God's work in his life.  He honestly shares his story.  It was engaging to read how a Southern Baptist boy with same-sex attraction went from afraid and alone to being the president of a major ministry that had helped him.  He ended up married to a woman he loves with all his heart.  They have two children.

     It is clear to me that homosexuality is a complicated, nuanced experience that can't be summed up simply.  There is a "bottom line" biblically, in that both the Old and New Testaments of the Bible refer to marriage being created for one man and one woman, and also refer to homosexual acts as being outside of God's will (Genesis 2:24; Leviticus 18:22; Leviticus 20:13; Matthew 19:5; Romans 1:26-27).   We need to stand with that truth.  Period.  However, in ministering specifically, everyone is different, and, while we are sticking with God's Word on this issue, we need to pray for guidance in addressing each case with grace and truth.  There are disagreements among Christians about how to best minister to the LGBT (etc) community.  Exodus International started off as a place where those with unwanted same-sex attraction could get help and accountability.  

     There was disagreement about whether someone could "become straight" with no further homosexual desires at all, or if it was a "thorn in the flesh" that the person would have to fight all their lives.  Both positions have biblical basis.  First Corinthians 6:9-10 lists several sins, including homosexuality, concluding in verse 11 with And such were some of you.  But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.  Likewise, Second Corinthians 5:17 says that those who are "in Christ" are new creations.  God can deliver us from all our temptations and sin areas, including homosexuality.  On the other hand, Paul had his thorn in the flesh, shared in Second Corinthians 12:7.  Paul pleaded with God to remove it, but instead, in verse 9, God said, My grace is sufficient.  While we don't know what Paul's problem was, this truth can be applied to all areas, including homosexual desires.  No matter what we're going through, God's grace is sufficient.  Alan said almost all of the people he served in Exodus continued having same-sex attraction to some degree, so experience would seem to indicate the "torn in the flesh" reality was more common than the miraculous deliverance, though there are testimonies of changed lives, such as that of Dennis Jernigan (who wrote the beautiful worship song You are My All in All).  You can read his thoughts and story here.  

     Exodus itself didn’t even have an agreed-upon position about what the participants could expect.  Everyone's story was different.  Alan himself said his attraction to men never diminished, but the temptation did as he enjoyed his wife.  He even likened it to heterosexual people still finding others attractive, but being faithfully committed to their spouses.  

     Alan shares about how Exodus helped him tremendously, and he rose in the ranks to become President in 2001.  He stewarded the ministry until 2013, when the organization closed for good.  There are other, similar ministries in operation today, such as Restored Hope Network (you can look at their website here.).  

     The odd thing was that Alan himself made the choice to close the organization.  His beliefs about homosexuality changed.  He didn't have some "ah-ha" moment while reading the Bible or seeking the Lord.  He just felt it was more compassionate to recognize that homosexuality could be a valid lifestyle.  After everything he had gone through, that was so disappointing to me.  He is still a professing Christian, going to a godly church (from what I can gather), and happily married to his wife.  But he closed an organization of which he was their greatest success story.  He is now deeply critical of what are termed "ex-gay" ministries.  That is, these are ministries that help homosexuals who don't want to live in that lifestyle.  

     Many are critical of groups like Exodus or Restored Hope.  I don't know everything that has gone on in them, so I can't make a statement.  Perhaps there was false teaching.  Perhaps abuses have happened.  I don't know all that is involved.  What I do know is that people have a free will.  If someone has same-sex desires and wants to be counseled in a particular way, he or she has a right to attend a group like this if he or she so wishes.  If not, no one is required.  

     Alan is clearly compassionate, and was deeply saddened by those who shared how they were hurt in Exodus.  In some cases false promises of making participants straight broke their hearts when they weren't able to shake their same-sex attraction.  In other cases, people share that they were hurt by the ministry itself.  Alan decided to become more grace-focused, showering everyone with the love of God.  That is great, however, this is where Alan took steps away from biblical positions.  God's grace and love for all (including LGBT) are biblical.  But God calls all of us to deny ourselves, take up our crosses, and follow Jesus.  Homosexuals don't get a free pass on that.  

     I don't want to simplify how complex it is.  I'm not homosexual, and can't rightly imagine wrestling with this.  I CAN imagine, however, having to deny raging desires that cannot be righteously fulfilled.  I remained celibate until my wedding night.  That wasn't easy!  I married at 33, so I went through my teens and twenties with these urges I had to deny.  Not only did I have those burning passions, but I also experienced mockery from a world that doesn't know God.  Even some people I love made fun of my commitment to wait until marriage.  Shortly before meeting my husband, I had an attraction (which was mutual) to a male in my life, and it would have been 100% wrong to indulge.  That was a battle I had to fight, but God's grace was sufficient, just as He promises.  God doesn't just ask LGBT folks to deny their desires.  He asks all of us to do right and be conformed to the image of Jesus.  

     You are not your sexual attractions.  You are not your raging passions.  You are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus (Second Corinthians 5:21).  You have the mind of Christ (Philippians 2:5).  That is how you should "identify."  We have been told a lie by our godless society, that we are our desires, and we can't control them and have no choice but to indulge.  In fact, not indulging is often seen as living a lie, though it isn't.  God gives us a better way.  

     We all have to fight the good fight.  Alan did not share any scriptural revelation that told him it was "okay" to encourage people to embrace the gay lifestyle (because there isn't any scripture that would say that).  He saw some errors in Exodus' premise (some felt they were guaranteed the program would make them straight, which I would agree is a mistake that could have been corrected).  Other people shared that they had been hurt in the ministry (again, I agree that is wrong and should be addressed--but it should also be noted that people have been hurt in all sorts of organizations, not just Christian, and not just those related to homosexuality.  It should all be addressed, but that doesn't mean the whole organization needs to close).  

     Ultimately, though, Alan just felt that encouraging people to go with their desires was kinder than helping them have mastery over them.  That was his error, even if his motives were compassionate.  It might have been compassionate in the immediate sense, but not ultimately.  Leading people away from obedience to Christ leads to destruction, and that is not a kind thing to lead anyone into.  In helping people with any issues at all, we MUST go back to the Bible.  While using the Bible, we MUST also be very merciful, acknowledging what the person is going through,  and that we ourselves need that grace as much as anyone.  But we still can't compromise truth, and I feel that's what Alan did in the end.  Being kind, preaching the Gospel, and letting the Holy Spirit convict are good things.  Approving of sin is a step too far.

     There aren't easy answers in ministering to those in the LGBT (etc) community.  Everyone's story is different.  But God is faithful to His children.  His word is full of promises for believers in their struggles.  The Holy Spirit is the Helper.