Whoopings!

     I remember it like it was yesterday.  It was the summer of 1999.  I was a high school senior, and part of an evangelism team doing backyard Bible clubs.  We were doing open air witnessing to children in an apartment complex.  A friend and I were sharing the gospel with a cute little black boy who had introduced himself as Reginald..."But you can call me Reggie," he explained happily.  We shared with him God's love, and how God wanted Reggie to know him and live forever in Heaven with him.  Then, we had to get to the "bad news" about how all of us have sinned.  I asked him,  "Do you know what the punishment is for our sins?"

     "Yeah," Reggie nodded.  "My grandma gives me whoopings!"  

     My teammate and I looked at each other and had to try not to burst out laughing.  In the end, it turned out Reggie had already received Christ as his Savior, but was delighted we had shared with him anyway.

Summer 1999, I'm pictured with one of the friends on my evangelism team.

     Over the years, I've never forgotten about his grandma's "whoopings," and I have great respect for this woman I've never met.  She disciplined this little boy, and the result (as far as we could see) was a sweet child who knew Christ.

     Proverbs 23:13=14 says, Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol.  

     Thirty-one states have banned corporal punishment from schools.  This is a controversial issue, but I believe the result of this has been 20 years of school shootings and students who believe the world revolves around them.  As a teacher myself, I can attest to this.  Every year, it seems they come in more and more entitled, and parents make more and more excuses.  In the last week, I have experienced two very painful injuries from such students.  The blame seems to always be put on teachers.  I wasn't calm enough when I asked them to stop.  Forgive me, but it's hard to be calm when I'm being kicked in the face, hard enough to leave a bruise.  In those cases, it's all I can do not to do something illegal, so forget calm!  Teacher's hands are tied.  There is no legal way to get things under control, because all we're allowed to do is say positive things to them. Legislators who have never set foot in a classroom tell us how we're allowed to discipline our students. 

     Professionals have medicated and given names to mental disorders based on behavior, and in a lot of cases, it doesn't help.  I'm not an expert on mental illness.  I know mental illness are very real, and in no way do I wish to invalidate someone's legitimate problem. There is a real need for medication sometimes. Those who suffer should receive grace and compassionate care that would truly help them.  We all need help sometimes.  That's part of being human. On the other hand, though I am NOT a psychologist, and I don't claim to know this,  I suspect that some of these mental disorders cropping up aren't real, but just a medical-sounding name for spoiled brat, poor parenting, or lack of discipline.  Some of these things are just plain sinful.  We're medicating sin, and therefore excusing it.  Our hands are tied as far as really helping these children.  On the other hand, I feel sorry for those who truly suffer from mental illness, because these spoiled brats getting falsely labeled with mental illness are bringing true mental illness to an incorrect public perception.  A person with a real mental illness shows up and shares their problem, and everyone thinks, "Oh no, not another one," because of all the out-of-control behavior misdiagnosed as mental illness.  In reality, those with genuine illness should receive compassionate care.  Those with just plain discipline problems need a spanking!

     It is possible for discipline to become abusive.  That isn't right, and in no way do I defend actual abuse.  Discipline should be lovingly administered.  Hebrews 12:6 tells us The Lord disciplines the one He loves.  Discipline is a sign of God's work in us, His love for us.  Our discipline toward children should have the same goal--love for them and a desire for their very best.  If all we're allowed to do is smile at them and say positive statements while they're physically harming us or others, we're not doing what is best for anyone--not the child, not the other children, not ourselves.  I'm not saying discipline is fun or easy.  It isn't.  But the lack of it produces such horrors that it needs to happen.  God holds us accountable for our words and actions.  Romans 14:12 says, so then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.  Children need that accountability as well.  

     Along the same lines, there are some incorrect thinking patterns feeding into this problem.  The whole it takes a village mentality sounds very idyllic, but it can be misleading.  Too many parents I have gotten to know over the years view the school, day care center, neighborhood, and church to be responsible for raising their children, instilling values into them, teaching them correct behavior.  While these institutions can and do help, they are no substitute for parental authority.  You can't pay anyone to love your child like you do.  Teachers love your children, but not like you.  Church workers love your children and pray for them, but not with a parent's love.  The same goes for kind neighbors.  All of these things should be supporting your role as a parent, but they can't raise your child for you.  As a teacher, I can speak for myself and say I dearly want to partner with parents, be a part of their team in helping their child.  But the parents are the team captain!  I want to do all I can in my role to help the child and family.  I am not the parent, though.

     This is all sort of controversial.  I have not intended to step on toes with this.  I realize there are wonderful parents out there who have children with severe problems, and they are trying hard to get a handle on it, not sure what to do.  I have not intended to be insensitive to them.  I am simply sharing some biblical truth, and my experiences as a teacher for many years.  Something is broken, and it will take the work of the Holy Spirit to fix it.