Do you ever get tired of injustice? I'm not just talking about major things, either. I mean injustice that touches you, personally. For example, maybe you worked hard all year long for a promotion, but the boss gave it to his nephew, who is completely lazy and didn't deserve it like you did. Frustrating things like that happen all the time. I don't know about you, but I struggle with it.
A good friend of mine, who is one of the most godly women I knew, is going through a trying situation, and I just want to see the Lord reward her faithfulness and avenge her suffering. That hasn't happened for her yet.
As children, we cry, "That's not fair!" I once helped with the children's ministry at a Chinese Church's retreat. There was a little boy, a three-year-old, who mostly only spoken Chinese. However, he had learned one English phrase: "No fair!" Whenever he got mad at someone during the retreat, he'd yell, "No fair! No fair!" and point at the person he happened to be mad at. It was cute, actually. But that's how we are as humans. We are taught that "Life isn't fair." And it isn't. In spite of this, I don't think we ever really get over our deeply-rooted desire to see justice. As Christians, our desires are hopefully for God's perfect justice to be done. After all, we pray, "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven," (Matthew 6:10).
I'll get vulnerable a minute and share that something I have struggled with is that my husband and I haven't been able to have children, and yet I see God giving pregnancies to women He knows will just have an abortion. Why not just let us have a baby and make those people be infertile? This idea makes me very, very angry sometimes, if I let it. It is unjust that people who don't want or love their children are blessed with them, and yet we're not. In the worst of moments, I have wondered if God somehow likes these people better than me. My theological faith knows this isn't true, but there are hard days. I get tempted to think, Come on, God. Can't you just give us a baby to prove You're on our side? I know friends who are single and very much want to meet the love of their life. They see people getting married who wouldn't be half as good of a spouse as they would be, and it hurts. They want that vindication from God that they're doing right waiting on Him. There are so many other circumstances that hurt like that as well, and we just don't always see God doing anything.
There are so many situations people can be in that seem so wrong, so different from God's perfect ideal in creation. People do wicked things and seem to get away with it, while their victims suffer.
The thing we need to remember is, God hasn't settled all His accounts yet. That comes later. Rest assured, no good nor bad deed will go unrecompensed. Revelation 22:12 tells us, Behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to reward each one as his work deserves. Someone getting that promotion at work, pregnancy, or anything else in this life isn't a sign that they're God's favorite pet, nor are the lack of these things a curse or punishment. My friend who is suffering right now is not being punished by God. I cannot attempt to explain why God allows us to suffer. I can't explain why you have had the experiences you've had. I love Second Corinthians 4:8 in the Living Bible: ...We are perplexed because we don’t know why things happen as they do, but we don’t give up and quit. Yes, we are perplexed sometimes. On a basic level, this comes about because we live in a fallen world. But saying that sounds so hollow when we're suffering.
We have to believe that we are in God's Sovereign plan, somehow. Again, this can't be completely explained by mere mortals. Sometimes, at some of the most painful moments I have experienced, I have had strength from beyond myself. God's Spirit gave me that strength, and here is why I believe that is possible.
When Jesus suffered, He not only paid the penalty for our sins, but He also redeemed our suffering. I believe that as He hung on that cross, in addition to purchasing our redemption, He felt the suffering we do, caused by sin. The worst of our suffering fell on Him, so that when it hits us, His strength is given to us. He not only redeems us from sin, but He redeems everything that happens to us.
I had a painful experience at age twenty. It was a very hurtful rejection from a boyfriend I had thought I would marry (I'm very thankful now that I didn't, but at the time, it hurt badly). At the exact moment it happened, I had this moment of disconnect. It was almost as if I left my body (I didn't, but just follow me here), and rose up above the whole earth, and looked down on how small this situation was from that vantage point. It felt, for just a moment, as if I had complete joy, and nothing could hurt me. I believe that at that moment, when the blow came, God shielded me from the worst of it. Ephesians 2:6 tells us He has seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus. That is our position in Christ. I believe I experienced this spiritual reality for just a moment. While on that cross, Jesus felt the blow of that rejection, so that I didn't have to. When it hit me, He pulled me to Him, because He had already taken that bullet for me. The moment passed, and I was back in the present, dealing with everything associated with it, but God gave me that sense of Himself when I needed it the very most. Because of what He has done, anything is possible. He can redeem anything we go through.
Never, ever would I presume to explain suffering--not yours, not mine, not anyone's. Even trying is to cheapen your pain, and I would never do that. I do know that we need to hold onto what we know to be true. God sees you. He sees what has happened. Psalm 37:7 tells us, rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. One day, God will make all things right. He will satisfy the depths of your soul beyond anything you can imagine now. In the meantime, just hold on. You don't even have to try that hard, because He is the One who holds onto you.
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