Smokescreens

     Issues in life are bound to come up, and Christian ministry is no exception.  How we deal with these issues is often more important than avoiding the issues.  It is through resolving problems that we grow and mature.  Of course, there are some people who don't want problems to be solved or dealt with.  Sometimes, their motive is laziness.  Other times, it is feelings of insecurity in one's ability to solve it.  Still other times, sadly, it is about power.  When you are working toward resolution by addressing a legitimate issue and you get one of the following responses, you are getting a smokescreen.  What is a smokescreen?  There are two definitions.  The first is a literal definition:  A cloud of smoke created to conceal military operations.  Very telling, isn't it?  The second definition (the one you will run into) is more of an idiom: a ruse designed to disguise someone's real intentions or activities.  The following are a list of smokescreens people in leadership (particularly in ministry) sometimes give when faced with concerns.  

     Before I move on, I want to make one point.  Not every complaint leaders get is legitimate.  There are people who find problems where none exist.  Sometimes, people are being critical and trying to make trouble.  For this post, I am assuming that you are a faithful worker in the situation, going to your authority with honest, heart-felt concerns.  Your leader may or may not agree with your concern or point of view, but a good leader should still consider genuine concerns their subordinates bring up, not just try to shut them up.  Even if a leader doesn't agree with the concern, he shouldn't be dismissive.  He should prayerfully consider it.  If you get any of these responses from anyone--boss, pastor, congressman, whatever, you are receiving a smokescreen and should find more help for the situation.  

"You're the only one who feels this way."

     That is a trick to try to invalidate you and make you feel like you're not with the program.  Are you really the only one who feels that way?  Probably not.  Often, leaders will follow this up by admonishing you not to gossip about your concern.  While I would never condone actual gossip, I would encourage you to find someone you trust who agrees with you and then go back to the authority figure.  This isn't gossip.  This is biblical.  In Matthew 18:15-16, Jesus tells us, Now if your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have gained your brother, But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that on the testimony of two or three witnesses every matter may be confirmed.  This passage tells us a few things.  You first go to the person in private, and if they won't hear you, you involve a few others.  Something else worth pointing out is the first part.  It says that if a brother sins, you are to then go through this process.  Before you address something, consider this: is this person my brother or sister in Christ?  You might be in a secular situation, and that makes it no less important to be respectful and follow proper protocol, but particularly if this person is a Christian, this is vital.  The next point is that the person has sinned.  Sin has happened.  You're not just making idle complaints.  Not everything is clear-cut.  Maybe the concern you have is that something sinful could result from the situation, but isn't happening yet.  If it is serious, go ahead and share your concern, and follow the biblical procession given in this passage.   Some believers truly do have the gift of discernment (First Corinthians 12:10), and can sense that something isn't right, even when it isn't apparent to others (these people usually aren't very popular, speaking from experience).  Maybe God has given you insight into the situation before any sin becomes obvious.  Commit it to prayer, and then, if you still believe the Lord wants you to address it, follow the biblical pattern. 

     I will say this.  If something is just a preference or something you feel uncomfortable with for yourself (such as the type of music they're playing or something along those lines), you could still informally talk to your authority figure about your thoughts on it, and if he doesn't take it seriously, you can conclude that either God wants to stretch you out of your comfort zone, or that it's time for you to move on from this particular ministry.  You know what you can and can't live with, and you also know when the Lord is working in your life.  You have to make that choice. 

"You're trying to cause disunity!"  

     This is a blatant smokescreen.  If you were trying to cause disunity, you would be out talking to everyone about it and stirring up trouble, not respectfully broaching the subject to the authority figure.  The authority figure should be grateful you are being so conscientious and humble in how you are handling it.   Also, unity is important, but not at the expense of truth.  Jesus said that the truth, not unity, would set us free (John 8:32).  Recognizing the fact that some people would follow Him and others would not, He warned in Matthew 10:34 that He didn't come to bring peace, but a sword.  He would rather have us follow Him than have "unity" with those who don't.  Unity is only as good as what we are unified under.  Leaders who call for unity at all cost should be very carefully scrutinized.  Ephesians 2:14 tells us that our salvation breaks down the "wall of hostility" between different people, making us one in Christ.  Our unity is in our common faith in Jesus, not about agreeing with a human leader's decisions.  Nowhere are we commanded to agree about everything.  Disunity can even serve God's purpose, such as in Acts 15:36-41, where the Apostle Paul and Barnabas had a "sharp disagreement" and went separate ways, thus expanding the ministry and those who were being saved.  If you are accused of causing disunity by simply expressing a concern, I would politely assure this authority figure that you are not, and that you care deeply about the ministry/business/whatever, and that you have prayed a lot before coming to him.  Explain why you are concerned, and what you foresee if things continue.  Ask him if he can offer a solution for your concern.  Be very polite in all you say, showing utmost respect.  However, do not let him make you feel bad, or question yourself.  If he truly won't hear you, I'd follow the steps in the previous section, and bring someone else along.  

"You need to examine your own life before you criticize." or  "Take the plank out of your own eye!"

     Is there a place for self-examination?  Yes!  But this is not the time for that.  In this context, it is a smokescreen.  The implication is that, if you have faults, you have no right to complain--ever--about anything.  This is not true.  If this logic were applied on a wide-scale, that would mean police officers couldn't arrest dangerous criminals, because they aren't perfect either.  This would keep the police--sworn protectors--from being able to protect people, and would give the dangerous criminals the green light to harm us all.  That is sadly what happens sometimes in ministry or other settings in these situations.  The idea that no one can bring concerns to the authority figure's attention unless they are perfect is downright ridiculous.  We all have faults, and we are still called to speak out when things are wrong.  Ephesians 4:15 says to speak the truth in love, and I would assume you are doing that in respectfully bringing up your concern.  We all need to examine our lives before the Lord (First Corinthians 10:12), but that isn't the point here.  I once had a concern in ministry.  I shared it with my superior, and was completely shut down.  I was told I was prideful and that I needed to love my neighbor more.  My character was attacked.  Was this leader correct?  Am I prideful?  Do I need to love my neighbor more?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  But that had nothing to do with the issue at hand.  A leader making it all about the person raising the concern instead of the actual issue is someone creating a smokescreen to avoid dealing with the real problem.  There is no excuse to attack someone.  They may try to make you feel as if you're attacking others with your concern, but you aren't.  Don't let yourself be manipulated.  You are not attacking.  The leader is attacking you.  If a leader tries to bring up your sins (or supposed sins), politely say, "You  may be right.  I'll talk to the Lord about that.  But as for my concern, what are we going to do about it?"  Keep asking until they give you an answer.  They might not, and if it isn't going anywhere at all, you might excuse yourself and ask for another meeting, possibly bringing another person who shares the concern.  

"You're passing judgment"

     This is the biggest trick of this century.  I confess that at times, I have wished Jesus hadn't stated His words in Matthew 7:1, Judge not, lest you be judged.  But He did, even knowing how people would abuse and misuse it, so it was obviously important.  I would never remove God's word, but I have had a hard time with the way people who give no regard to anything else Jesus said seem to quote this one.  It is used to mean, "Don't you dare disagree with me or call me to any sort of account," when that was never the intent.  This verse means not to draw conclusions without having all the facts, and not to have a critical spirit.  However, He was not saying we're not allowed to disagree.  In fact, if something isn't biblical, we are supposed to judge, but to judge rightly.  John 7:24 says to judge with righteous judgment.  I like the way the New Living Translation puts it: Look beneath the surface so you can judge correctly.  Second Timothy 2:15 says, Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.  Dividing the word of truth means to know God's word, and call out false teachings that go against the Bible.  Again, like the last smokescreen we looked at, this is the leader drawing attention away from the real concern and placing it on the person mentioning it by accusing him of being judgmental.  I have allowed leaders to do this to me in the past, and I felt ashamed.  God doesn't want His children to be ashamed, especially when we're trying to do right.  Romans 10:11 says, Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.  We could possibly be mistaken, but a good leader will take what we say into consideration, rather than turn the tables on us.  If this happens, you guessed it, persist in your concern, possibly calling for another meeting with this leader, brining another person with you.

SOME HELPFUL PHRASES FOR YOU:

I and me statements, not you or we.  Talking in the first person will make your leader feel less attacked or accused.  Saying, "I am seeing some problems with_________" rather than "You didn't do anything about_______________" will go a long way in retaining your leader's respect.  

Help me understand________.  If your concern is minimized, or the leader uses some of these smokescreens, ask him to help you understand his thoughts and concerns in this.  This will make him feel respected and validated, and possibly get the conversation on a more valid footing.  It might force him to think through his own reasoning.  If he is throwing out smokescreens, he probably isn't thinking that deeply about it.  This might help with that.  And who knows, maybe he will be able to help you see his perspective and change your own.  

Nevertheless.  A wise pastor I worked with for several years taught me this one.  It is a tool used to get the conversation back on the real issue.  You first acknowledge what the person has said, then tell them, "nevertheless..." and bring it back to the real concern.  You might say, "You're right, I can be prideful sometimes.  Nevertheless, there is a concern here."  Every time they try to switch it back to a smokescreen, acknowledge truth in their statement, but then say, "nevertheless..."

Your feelings matter, my feelings matter.  If things become heated, assure the leader that their feelings matter, but so do yours, and that you should be able to examine both of your concerns.  This is a wake-up call to them that they are attacking a human being with legitimate feelings.  It lets them know you care about them, but that you matter too.  

In Conclusion

     There are some leaders who will never hear their people out, no matter how respectfully they are approached.  There are a lot of reasons for this.  It says everything about them and nothing about you or your concern.  Before the Lord, you may need to draw some conclusions about what you should do from there.  Perhaps it's time to leave.  Or maybe there is someone else you can share your concern with.  My goal in this post was to help you realistically detect smokescreens leaders (or other people) might throw at you, and give some biblical perspective.  Don't let anyone tear you down.  You were worth the life of Jesus!