Normal?

      I have a confession.  I'm not normal.  Now I have an observation.  Neither are you.  

     We live in a hyper-sensitive. society.  It seems like everyone is offended by everything, and everyone is bending over backwards to facilitate others.  On the one hand, it is good to be sensitive to how other people feel.  Sometimes, we can unknowingly make people feel left out and invalidated.  We need to be thoughtful of others.  Philippians 2:4 says to not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.  Likewise, Romans 12:10 says, Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.  However, it seems like we've gone far beyond this, to the point of trying to say that everything is acceptable and normal, when it isn't.  The truth is, the problem isn't people being too sensitive.  The problem is people being entitled.  

     I was appalled by the recent decision of Dove soap to remove the word "normal" from the label of their soap for "normal" skin.  I guess they don't want those without "normal" skin to feel offended.  But here's the thing.  I took a charm course in high school (about proper grooming, dressing, manners, etc.), and we learned that "normal" skin is actually not nearly as common as dry or oily, but it is called "normal" because it is a happy medium.  The label is not meant to invalidate other skin types!  Besides, what is normal?  

I guess sensitive skin is still acceptable!

      According to the dictionary, the definition of normal is: conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.  Obviously, normal isn't one idea, but a range of what we would expect to see without being surprised.  It is normal for the weather to be sunny, cloudy or rainy at any given time of year most places, but it would be abnormal to have a snowstorm in the summer.  Such a happening would be surprising.  That doesn't make it unacceptable.  It just makes it outside the realm of what we would consider normal.  Abnormal is not necessarily a bad thing.  It isn't invalid.  See, there is a difference between being normal and being worthy. Nobody should be made to feel that they, as a human, are invalid.  But that doesn't make them normal  No one is perfectly normal in every way.  That's what makes us unique.  Some people are surprisingly good musicians or writers, or have some other amazing skill.  Is that kind of talent "normal"?  No, it's better!  Who wants to be ordinary when you can be extraordinary?  

     I have felt invalidated and unworthy at times.  I wrote a post on that a few moths ago, actually.  Being invalidated means (again, according to the dictionary) to make (an argument, statement, or theory) unsound or erroneous.  In a person's life, being invalidated means that their life or experiences are minimized or denied.  I was once hit in the jaw by a baseball while playing an informal game with a group of friends.  One of the people playing with me immediately said, "That didn't hurt!  You're fine!"  He was wrong.  It did hurt!  His statement invalidated what I had experienced.  This happens to all of us at times, in small ways and large.  Being invalidated can make you feel crazy inside.  Your feelings matter, and my feelings matter.  Our feelings and the way we experience something can't rightly be invalidated, because no one else is inside of you, experiencing something exactly like you do.  Feelings are always legitimate (there is an important caveat to that, which I'll get to).  Jesus wept (John 11:35) even though He knew He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead.  Feelings always matter.  Never try to explain away feelings--yours or anyone else's.  Here is the important caveat I mentioned. Feelings are always legitimate as feelings, and are often indicators of things going on inside of you, but they are not always a legitimate lens by which to look at reality.  Our feelings can have us confused.  Jeremiah 17:9 tells us, The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked, who can know it?  Feelings might not be based on truth, and the false premise should be invalidated, but not the feelings themselves.  For example, if I got false information that my mother died, I would be devastated.  Those feelings would be completely legitimate, and shouldn't be invalidated as feelings.  However, if someone has the right information--that my mother actually didn't die--they can and should tell me the truth, thus invalidating the the facts I had previously believed.  I would be relieved, but the feelings I had experienced when I falsely believed that my mother died would still have been legitimate feelings.  We should lovingly challenge false beliefs.  In doing so, we are not invalidating the person's experience with those beliefs, but we are invalidating the false beliefs themselves.  As Christians, our beliefs are informed by the Bible.  We need to hold to the truth, but be compassionate while doing so.  Telling someone, "You're sinning.  Knock it off," isn't going to win them over.  Acknowledge the feelings and experiences that led them to this, but show them the biblical truth.  Validate their personhood without validating their sin. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. (Romans 12:15).  The truth will set you free. (John 8:32).  

     Having said all of that, invalidation is different from abnormality.  Remember, normal means conforming to a standard; usual, typical or expected.  There are a lot of things that are not conformed to a standard.  These things are not usual, typical or expected.  I am deathly allergic to bananas.  My throat closes up if I'm in the same room as a peeled banana.  This is a dangerous and serious allergy.  And you know what?  I know it isn't normal.  Most people don't have banana allergies.  Many are surprised to learn of my allergy.  But does that mean I'm unacceptable?  No!  It just means that this is something that isn't expected.  I don't need to be offended by that.  We are all "not normal" about some things, and it is sickening the way our society today is trying to make everything "normal."  I'm sorry, but not everything is normal, not even everything about me.  

     Now, what if I were to take my banana allergy and make a cause out if it.  What if I called those who ate bananas hateful or ignorant, or started a Facebook virtue signaling crusade that said, "I don't avoid bananas for me, I avoid them for you!"  What if I tried to make everyone on earth stop growing and consuming bananas...all so I wouldn't have to be abnormal or deal with the effects of my allergy?  Would that be fair or right to society as whole?  Would that be for the good of public interest?  No!  It would be absurdly selfish and crazy!  My abnormality is my responsibility.  It is my job to take care of myself.  If someone near me is eating a banana, it is my job to get away, where I can breathe.  It isn't that person's problem.  I can humbly ask those who are close to me to consider my problem when I'm around, and I would hope they would (out of love, not obligation), but nobody's freedom should be hampered because of my unexpected allergy.  Nut allergies are quite a bit more common than banana allergies, and I see society as a whole accommodating that much more, but that is okay.  That is more "normal" or expected than my allergy.  I can enjoy nuts in my home (and I do!).  

     When I taught 5th grade at a Christian school, one of my students was being raised by her grandparents.  This girl was actually quite manipulative, and she pitched a fit anytime I used the words mother or father, even if it was in the Bible or other subjects.  She said it was mean towards her, because she didn't have parents.  As a Christian teacher, I tried to be as loving, understanding and compassionate as I could.  I tried to validate her experiences with her grandparents, but I wasn't going to stop saying mother and father.  It wasn't right of her to demand that.  

     Is being abnormal the same as being invalid?  No!  In the example of my banana allergy, this is simply a way that I am different from the norm, but has nothing to do with my self-worth.  The same is true for the little girl being raised by grandma and grandpa.  Someone else might have another abnormality.  There is no shame in admitting we're not normal.  I think it is crazy that the folks who make Dove soap think people attach self-worth of whether their skin type is "normal."  Maybe some do, and that is tragically pathetic.  

     What does the Bible say about our self-worth?  We need to value what God values.  In Micah 6:8, we are told, He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?  Being just and merciful with others and walking humbly with the Lord is God's norm!  Nothing about skin type in there!  Remember, being normal is overrated!  Be the person God created you to be.  Do justly, love mercy, and walk with God!

Scripture Says

      Did you ever play the game Simon Says as a child?  You know how it works.  The person who's "Simon" tells everyone else things to do, but they're only supposed to obey the command if the person precedes it with the words "Simon Says..."  

     At times, I have wondered if we should change the game to "Scripture says..."  There are so many things people do that are not scriptural.  God honors His word.  Psalm 138:2 says, for thou hast magnified thy word above all thy name.  Since we know God's name is Holy and to be revered, this is saying a lot if God puts His word even above His name.  The Bible is to be revered.  I have shared evidence as to how we can know it is God's word in the previous post, and others in the past.  Here, I'm taking it from a slightly different angle.  We know we should follow the Bible, yet, so many times, we allow things that are not scriptural to sneak into our thinking.  It can involve blatantly worldly and ungodly things, such as drugs and immoral lifestyles.  However, far more often, it's a lot more subtle.  In the history of Christianity, so many things have creeped in that people follow and say to each other--things that sound good--and yet aren't biblical.  

     Something I have been addressing lately is the fallacies in Progressive Christianity.  I plan to come back to this further in the future.  There is a lot to cover.  One thing those in Progressive Christianity tend to do is to go through a deconstruction of their original beliefs--which were often a form of evangelical Christianity.  Something in Evangelicalism has hurt, offended or bothered them.  Unfortunately, Evangelicalism is not merely a belief system, but a sub-culture, and some things that occur in this sub-culture are not of the Lord (which is what this post is about).  Those who are hurt or offended step away and deconstruct their beliefs.  Some deconstruct all the way down to atheism.  Others don't go that far.  At some point, they reconstruct what they believe, but usually don't come back to biblical Christianity.  They form new beliefs.  Often, these people have no real basis for their new beliefs, other than rebellion against what they previously believed.  They knew something bad happened with that, so they want to be as far as they can.  This kind of deconstruction and reconstruction is not usually based on any sort of logic or relationship with the Lord.  However, is it possible to deconstruct and reconstruct in a positive and healthy way?  Yes!!!

     As I said above, sometimes, unbiblical things creep into Christian culture and practice.  It is right to search the scriptures and challenge those beliefs.  If something is really wrongly being taught or practiced, we can and should use the Bible to challenge that.  That is what Martin Luther did in 1517 when he nailed his 95 Theses to the door of the Wittenberg Castle Church, thus launching the Protestant Reformation.  If something you were taught was not biblical, but was taught as part of spiritual truth, challenge that.  Look to the Bible.  The Bible can withstand our scrutiny.  

    Here are some phrases that sound biblical, but are not.  Some are very silly, but have surprisingly been believed even by adults I have known.   Perhaps people in your church have said these things to you: 

     God will never give you more than you can handle. 

     If you tithe faithfully, you'll always have money. 

     If you don't pray before you eat, you will choke on your food. 

     If you pray for patience, God will purposely make you miserable in order to try you.  

     If you don't get along with someone, God will make you be their next-door neighbor in Heaven.

     Where two or more are gathered, God will give them whatever the ask for.  

     You can pray for anything and get it, because "you have not because you ask not."  

     You should spend more time reading the Bible than reading other books every day, or else the other book is an idol to you.

     If you ever went on a date with someone who didn't end up being "the one" it means you gave your heart away and can never have it in-tact to give to your spouse.  

     If you don't witness to someone and they die and go to hell, you're the one who sent them there.

     These are just some of the false ideas that I have heard from church and fellow Christians.  Some are very silly, but others are more serious.  And I know there are probably many, many more you may have heard.  Some of these false ideas might have brought real damage to your life and mindset.  It is important to go before the Lord, with the Bible, and seek these things out.  Part of growing up is taking your faith as your own.  Maybe you will believe exactly as you were taught.  Maybe you won't.  But in either event, you need to have a standard for your beliefs.  Progressive Christianity has no basis.  They take the authority away from the Bible by denying it as God's word, but then try to use the Bible (mostly out of context) to support their beliefs.  It doesn't work like that.  Either it is our final authority, or it should be ignored entirely.  The Bible itself claims to be God's word (Second Timothy 3:16).  If someone doesn't believe that, then that would put every word of it into question.  If it wasn't really God's word, but claimed to be, that would make the author a liar, and his word suspect.  That's why I can't relate to progressives and their supposed reverence yet demotion of God's word.  C.S. Lewis said, Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important. Progressives try to put it in this impossible camp of moderate importance.  If you want to have a dialogue with me about any of the false statements above, and have me give you some scripture to refute it, reach out to me, either in the comments, or through email (most of you who reach out do so over email or messaging on my FB author page).  I can give the scriptural rebuttal for any of these (except the one about choking on your food if you don't pray!  That one's a matter of common sense!).  

     My personal faith is basically the same faith I was raised with, because I have searched the scriptures as I grew up, and found that I was being taught correctly.  But there are small things I have changed.  I had a pastor in high school that I loved very much--still do.  He took First Timothy 2:12 differently than some might.  This verse says, But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.  He believed this verse meant that a woman couldn't minister to any male over sixth grade.  Once a boy started seventh grade (junior high), that pastor considered him to be a man.  This being the case, women were not allowed to teach junior highers or high schoolers (or certainly not adults) unless only girls or women were present.  In high school, our Sunday school teachers were a husband and wife who taught together.  One time, the husband woke up sick and the wife came to church alone.  The pastor only let the girls go to Sunday school that day, and the boys had to go to the adult Sunday school class. When I got home from doing some mission trips to other parts of the US and overseas, this pastor wouldn't let me talk for more than five minutes in front of the church about it, and he timed me with a stopwatch.  He truly believed if I surpassed five minutes, it would become preaching, and would be in violation of First Timothy 2:12.  On the other hand, a man in our congregation had also gone on mission trips at the same times I had, and he was allowed to take up the whole service with his slides and stories.  I never resented this, and still don't.  To this day, I respect this pastor for standing by his own convictions, and I don't take offense.  However, I have studied scripture on all of this--both Old and New Testament.  I have concluded that allowing me to share for longer than five minutes--even taking up the whole service sharing--would not have been in violation of this verse.  That would not have made me the pastor of the church, or even the spiritual leader of the congregation.  Talking about a mission trip isn't the same as delivering a sermon.  I also believe God uses female leaders in different ways and times, such as Deborah and Esther in the Bible.  I would still be considered a complementarian (as opposed to an egalitarian--if you don't know these positions, look it up, it's an interesting study), but not to the extreme I was taught as a teenager.  It isn't something I'm terribly dogmatic about, either.  I have godly friends who differ from me. There are a lot of different beliefs by Bible-believing Christians, and my purpose here isn't to go into that.  I am simply sharing an example of how I came by my own beliefs as I got older.    

     If, through searching out the Bible for yourself, you come to believe differently than you previously had in any way, go ahead and live in the truth God has shown you.  But don't treat it like your new toy and start carnal arguments with those who haven't come to that point that you have.  A relative of mine had grown up in the same theological teaching I did (Baptist).  When she became an adult, she switched to a more Pentecostal viewpoint.  As someone who has done a lot of interdenominational ministry, I have no issue with believers having different beliefs than I do.  I have some very good friends who are Pentecostal.  In fact, these friends have enriched my life greatly.  Most of our conversations have nothing to do with our theological differences at all.  That doesn't even matter to us.  However, this family member became incredibly obnoxious about the things she now viewed differently than I did.  It was like her new toy that she wanted to show off.  This person came into my home one day and asked, "Wanna hear me speak in tongues?"  I told her no (not because I'm against that, but because that isn't the biblical context of that gift at all).  In spite of this being my house, and in spite of my telling her no, this person proceeded to speaking some unintelligible words--with no interpretation.  Was she speaking in tongues?  She might have been, but that isn't the right spirit or usage of it, according to the Bible.  That's wrong.  No gift or work of the Holy Spirit should be used to show anyone up.  Ephesians 4:12 tells us that all gifts are to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up.  If she really wanted me to understand how God was working in her life, I would have much preferred her to share with me, in love.  I'd love to have known why and how this all became important to her, and what she was learning in her new church.  I might have been much more receptive.  What this family member didn't know was, I called her church and spoke with the pastor, and asked him if he condoned that kind of action, and he said no, he didn't (I didn't identify myself or tell him which of his church members was doing this, because I didn't want to get my relative in trouble).  Don't treat your new viewpoints as a toy to show off to your friends who haven't come to that point.  Also, keep the main thing the main thing.  I have had fellow Christians of other views tell me I'm going to hell because I didn't agree with them on some minor thing, such as whether or not I spoke in tongues, or what I believed about Israel today.  There is room for discussion, but not for telling fellow Christians they're not really saved.  Nowhere in scripture does it say that salvation is a result of speaking in tongues, or believing such-and-such about Israel and end-times.  These things have a level of importance, but not to the point of salvation.  Keep the main thing the main thing.  

     Christians should love one another.  The Bible is very clear about that.  By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. (John 13:35).  Getting hateful is not a mark of Christ in us.  I have seen some progressives become very unkind and ridiculing toward evangelicals, and that is definitely not anything to their credit.  If you have truly gone to scripture in your search, you should also be following this command to love your fellow Christians.  If you believe they are in error pray for them.  Reconstruct your faith biblically, and lovingly show others what God has taught you.  Remember, only follow the command if scripture says, or you're out!