Beware of Beware!

      A lot of Christian leaders these days spend time calling out people they consider false or dangerous teachers.  There is a place for this, but I am starting to see this as a trend.  Many Christian YouTubers make their whole focus pointing out what is wrong with this or that teacher.  Sometimes, their concerns are completely justified, because the person they are calling out is totally unbiblical.  Still, how much time should be given to that?  If you leave your church every week knowing how wrong Joel Osteen is, but don't know how good and faithful God is, there is an imbalance in what you are being taught.  In this post, we're going to look at the Biblical basis for warning about false teachers, what constitutes a false teacher, and what these warnings should look like (and when they are too much).  

Biblical Basis for Calling out False Teachers:

Warnings from Jesus

     In Matthew 24:4, Jesus warned, See that no one leads you astray.  This statement, from the mouth of Jesus, gives us the biblical basis to be cautious about who is leading and teaching us.  In Matthew 16:6, He had warned the disciples to be on their guard against the yeast (false teaching) of the Pharisees and Sadducees.  Later on, in chapter 23, verses 2-4, speaking of the Pharisees, Jesus told the disciples: The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.  In a direct confrontation with the Pharisees in John 5, Jesus told them, You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life.  (Verses 39-40).  Jesus called out these legalistic teachers who were actually keeping people away from Him.  

Warnings from the Apostle Paul

     The Apostles also warned believers about false teachers.  Near the end of Romans, after Paul went to great lengths to explain the gospel in this book, then greet believers, he said in verses 17-18, I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people.  In Galatians 1:8 (a verse many use when witnessing to Mormons), Paul wrote, But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed.  Likewise, toward the end of First Timothy, Paul tells his protege (in chapter 6, verses 3-5),  If anyone teaches otherwise and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, they are conceited and understand nothing. They have an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions and constant friction between people of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain.  In spite of these mentions, warning about false teachers isn't Paul's main thrust in any of his epistles.  It's there, though, so we see there is importance.  

Warnings from other Apostles

     Other epistles contain warnings as well.  

James

     James 3:1 simply warns everyone that very few people should become teachers, because teachers will be judged more harshly.  This is more a warning to godly teachers to get it right than a teaching about false preachers, but it is still a point toward the existence of false teachings, and a concern that they can even come from well-intentioned people.  

Peter

     Second Peter 2:1 tells us, But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction.  

John

     First John 4:1-3 reminds us: Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already.  Second and Third John (both books being only one chapter) contain warnings as well.  The warning in Second John is more general, acknowledging that For many deceivers have gone out into the world, those who do not confess the coming of Jesus Christ in the flesh. Such a one is the deceiver and the antichrist. (verse 7).  On the other hand, Third John gives a very specific warning about a man named Diotrephes in verses 9-10.  We don't know for sure if Diotrephes was a false teacher, or just a man stirring up trouble, but in either event, John calls him out here. 

Jude

 The book of Jude (also one chapter) talks about false teachers, and the punishment that awaits them (verses 3-16).  

     From all of this, we can conclude there is a time and place to call out false teachers.  In fact, I think we could even say it is vital to do so.

What is a False Teacher?

     In Deuteronomy 18, the Lord spoke through Moses to the people about the importance of listening to godly leaders (at that time, the prophets), but brought up the question, how can we know if a prophet is real or not?  In verse 22, He gives the answer: If the prophet speaks in the Lord’s name but his prediction does not happen or come true, you will know that the Lord did not give that message. That prophet has spoken without my authority and need not be feared.  That is a big one right there.  Anyone claiming to speak for God, but whose claims are proven false, can be called a false teacher.  It only takes one false prophecy for a man to be considered a false prophet.  

     There is more than just failed prophecies to show us who are true and who are false teachers.  A broken clock is right twice a day, as they say.  Sometimes, false teachers make claims that end up being correct.  What do we do then?  God had that covered as well.  If a prophet, or one who foretells by dreams, appears among you and announces to you a sign or wonder, and if the sign or wonder spoken of takes place, and the prophet says, “Let us follow other gods” (gods you have not known) “and let us worship them,” you must not listen to the words of that prophet or dreamer. The Lord your God is testing you to find out whether you love him with all your heart and with all your soul. It is the Lord your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him.  (Deuteronomy 13:1-4).  If someone wants to get you away from the God of the Bible, or sound biblical teaching, this person is obviously a false teacher, even if the things they say seem to come true.  God is not behind them.  

     We already read some verses earlier from the New Testament about this.  You can refer to the section above under biblical basis for references to what I'm about to say.  Jesus pointed out that the Pharisees were false teachers because they didn't practice what they taught from God's word, and that all their biblical searching wasn't bringing them to Him.  False teachers, then, are those who do not follow their own teaching (even if those teachings are true), and also, people who pour over scripture without encountering Christ.  Legalism is part of false teaching.  

     Also to be referenced above, we saw that Paul and other apostles warned that those who didn't preach the same teachings or gospel that had already been given to them were false teachers.  Throughout all these scriptures, we also see warnings to the false teachers about the judgment that awaits them.  

     Bottom line, those who preach agains what scripture teaches are false teachers.  

     However, some false teachings are subtle.  Sometimes, they aren't an outright affront on true, biblical teaching.  They are a slight shift.  They might isolate something in scripture and take it out of context, creating a whole teaching that actually disagrees with the entirety of scripture.  That is why it is so important to know the Bible, not just random verses.  Paul wrote in Acts 20:27, for I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole counsel of God.  A true teacher wants you to know the "whole counsel of God"--what the Bible teaches throughout.  

     One of the most grievous examples of people taking one verse out of context and creating whole teachings is the misuse of Matthew 7:1, Do not judge, or you, too, will be judged.  Many people, not knowing the "whole counsel of God" take this verse and say, "See, we can't judge!  We have to accept everything!"  And they create this environment where anything goes, and the biblical Christian is the one who ends up judged (which is totally hypocritical on the part of the proponents of not judging...see meme below).  They seem to think this verse means, "Disregard the rest of what the Bible says, and disengage your brain while you're at it."  That is clearly not what that verse means.  If it was, then Jesus would not have said in John 7:24, Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.  We are to agree with what God has said in His word, and judge when we see something that doesn't line up.  That is part of Rightly dividing the word of truth. (Second Timothy 2:15).  Matthew 7:1 and the whole "Don't judge" culture is the most common example I see of people misusing a verse out of context, but it is definitely not the only one being thrown around.  

     When it comes to false teachers, we need to follow the teaching in First John 1 (already stated above), and test the spirits.  God has given us the Bible and the Holy Spirit, so you have everything you need in order to do that.  

     As a brief aside, I want to say that there are several things many proclaim to be false teaching, but do not actually fit that category.  What is not false teaching?  If you visit a church that is a very different tradition than yours, and they hold a different theological position than you do, that is not necessarily a false teaching.  People can still hold orthodox biblical beliefs and disagree on minor, obscure teachings.  True Christians agree on the essentials of the faith, but might differ on smaller, unclear things in the Bible.  An example of this is the Calvinism vs. Arminianism controversy (simply put, this is a disagreement between those who believe God Sovereignly ordained our salvation versus those who believe we freely choose Christ ourselves.  It's the difference between God's Sovereignty versus man's free will).  Both positions have scriptural basis, and most Christians fall somewhere in the middle on this teaching, agreeing with aspects of both sides).  Other examples of non-essential but controversial teachings include whether women should be pastors, the importance of speaking in tongues, etc.  For these and other controversial teachings, we should not demonize believers on other sides of these issues.   If they truly are Christians, and are following what they believe the Bible teaches on these things, we can respect them, even if we feel led in another direction, and led to attend a different church.  People who come to different conclusions than you, even if you believe they are incorrect, are not false teachers.  We can politely agree to disagree.  

Correct and Incorrect Warnings

     As I said at the beginning it appears we have a lot of preachers and other influencers calling out false teachers, or at lest people they consider to be false teachers.  As we have seen, there is a biblical basis for calling out false teachings, and for warning people to stay away from them.  Here are some times when something like this might be right:

     *If there is a new preacher making an unbiblical stand, and people are starting to be interested in it.  I think God-fearing teachers are called by God to speak the truth.  

     *Something very bold has been said by a false teacher, and believers need to have a response to that.  

     *There is an influence becoming prevalent in our society that must be addressed.

   As to what it should look like, I think pastors, teachers and other influencers should say something...and then be done.  After we have said what we need to say, we should go back to teaching the Bible.  People should be taught God's word a lot more than about false prophets. Federal agents learn about counterfeit money by studying real money.  They learn the exact look and nuance of real money so that they can spot a counterfeit.  That's how our study of truth should be.  If we focus more of the false teachers than on God, that is the problem right there.  

     If you look at the teachings of Jesus and the Apostle Paul, very little of it was warning about false teachers.  It's in there, but it isn't the primary thing that is being focused on.  As we have seen by the scriptures already shared, even when warnings against false teachers are given, very few names of false teachers are used.  This is not to say we shouldn't call them out by name.  There are a few instances where this happens scripturally.  However, far more commonly, Jesus and the apostles warn about specific teachings that are false.  

     If there is a false teacher out there, it is important to note that they will fade away one day.  In Acts 5:38-39, Gamaliel, who was not even a Christian, wisely said, For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.  He said this in reference to the Jewish leaders who were persecuting the Apostles.  This is true today.  If someone is really of God, God will authenticate their ministry and give them success.  If it isn't of God, it will ultimately come to nothing.  

     I remember back in the early 2000's, when I was in Bible college.  Rob Bell (a midwestern pastor) was very popular at the time, and remained so throughout the decade.  While many loved him, he rankled my spirit.  I felt like I was the only one who saw how false he was.  He used scripture, but ultimately challenged the basic tenets of our faith.  He was hailed by the Christian world, even called "The Next Billy Graham" by the Chicago Sun.  I was young and inexperienced in my 20's then, and felt like I was the only person in the world who faithfully kept to the truth, instead of being wowed by this false teacher.  However, within a few years, Rob Bell exposed himself as a fraud, and is no longer honored by evangelicals.  His work wasn't of God, and it collapsed.  He still has a following, but not among Bible-believers.  By this time, I was in my thirties, and it was a faith-building experience for me.  It made me realize that I had nothing to worry about.  God preserves His church, and He doesn't need my panic about it.  I am not the only faithful one who sees the truth, even if I feel like it at times.  Elijah had to be reminded in First Kings 19 that God always has a remnant (verse 18).  I might have had some extra discernment during Rob Bell's heyday, and I saw him for what he was before it became obvious, but I surely wasn't the only one, and others eventually saw it too.  The truth always eventually comes out (Luke 8:17), and it sets us free (John 8:32).

     My husband and I visited a church in another state we lived in.  I'll refer to it as Community Church.  I would say we went there about six weeks before finding a church that was a better fit for us.  At Community Church, the pastor would start with a scriptural passage, but would then start complaining about false teachers.  He viewed Rick Warren as a false teacher, and would spend ten minutes talking him down, being mean and sarcastic, and making fun of him.  He would mock him in a very juvenile and mean voice.  This went on every week.  He didn't limit his taunts to Rick Warren.  He was also very down on Sarah Young, author of the book Jesus Calling.  He viewed this book as teaching women how to have a sexual relationship with Jesus (which is not true at all.  It was clear he had not read it).  He would make fun of these and other prominent Christians every week, and yet never once did he actually say what they taught that he viewed as wrong.  He never compared a quote they made against the Bible.  He just made fun of them, and called on all of us to boycott Hobby Lobby for selling their books.  

     In saying this, I am not defending Rick Warren or Sarah Young.  I don't follow either very closely.  I have never heard Rick Warren teach false doctrine, but I disagree with some of his methods of ministry, and there are some things that made me a little bit uncomfortable (there have been many rumors of false doctrines he has taught, including saying that he wanted to merge Christianity and Islam, but in researching it, I found no basis of truth in this claim.  I may be wrong, but I don't believe Rich Warren was trying to do this).  As for Sarah Young's book, I did read it when it first came out.  There were things I liked, but I could see why some might not be comfortable.  It is written in first person, as if Jesus is talking directly to you.  Everything is biblical, but it isn't Jesus' exact words, so I can see where it would be a little bit concerning.  I have no desire to re-read it.  I just don't think it is downright evil, and I don't think boycotting Hobby Lobby for selling it is really going to change anything.  I felt Community Church's pastor's time would have been better served by simply teaching God's word.  

     Similarly, John MacArthur spends a great deal of his time calling out others.  His most recent victim is Beth Moore.  I'll be honest, I have never cared for Beth Moore.   Her personality and delivery have always rubbed me the wrong way.  I didn't feel her teaching was necessarily bad, but I just didn't enjoy her.  In recent years, she has changed her beliefs and has gotten somewhat off-base.  She left the Southern Baptist Convention (which is my denomination, incidentally), and has adopted a more egalitarian viewpoint.  Some of the things she has said seem a bit odd to me.  If she is off-base, my thought is that we just shouldn't follow her.  But John MacArthur has wasted countless hours speaking against her and warning people not to listen to her.  He has been insulting and rude, which is not biblical either (...Love is not jealous, boastful, proud or rude... First Corinthians 13:4b-5a).  He is making her name prominent by doing this, thus accomplishing the opposite of what he is trying to do.  I have already written a post about John MacArthur (My Concerns with John MacArthur, April 16, 2021).  I believe he spends way too much time condemning others (who may be in the wrong, but are often just on a different page than him on non-essential doctrines).  I am originally from the Los Angeles area (where in his church is located) and have had very close ties to people in his ministry.  It has been almost entirely unpleasant.  He and his followers have a long history of fighting people, instead of remembering that we wrestle not against flesh and blood...(Ephesians 6:12).  I'm not saying it is wrong to initially warn against someone who is teaching incorrect doctrine, but don't dwell on it.  Jesus didn't.  The Apostle Paul didn't.  There is a time and place, but making false teachers (or perceived false teachers) the focus means that they've won.  it's better to let them hang themselves, like Rob Bell did.    

     The Bible is very clear about what false teaching looks like.  If you encounter it, address it.  Then move on with studying God's word.  I'm going to close with Paul's admonishment to Timothy:

Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry. -Second Timothy 4:2-5

Love Never Fails (or does it?)

     I will never forget that otherwise nice, pleasant, sunny day back in early 2005.  I was twenty-three at the time.  What I had found that morning had immobilized me, making me oblivious to the day's beauty.

     I stood outside of my apartment, trying to absorb the shock.  I looked again at the note that had been taped to my front door sometime in the night.  I had found it that morning.  It was a note from my very close friend Amanda* (not her real name).   

     Amanda and I had been friends for about three years, but for the past year, we had been even closer.  As only two young single women can do, Amanda and I had filled our time with adventures, such as going roller skating, bowling, camping, to see movies and plays.  We had other friends on the periphery of our relationship, and we enjoyed throwing them surprise parties, or finding other ways to include them in our fun.  We took some unsaved friends to see The Passion of the Christ.  We had consumed more ice cream than I have the entire rest of my life before or since combined (back when I was slender, still having a fast metabolism--I wouldn't dare try that now!).  We developed all kinds of fun inside jokes.  More importantly, our friendship had been a discipleship.  We had studied our Bibles together, read other noteworthy Christian books, attended church services and home Bible studies.  We did ministry together.  We taught kids Bible clubs, and did evangelism at the county fair.  It really was a David and Jonathan type friendship (see First Samuel 18:1).  We prayed together, and shared secrets.  We both really wanted to meet our future husbands, and envisioned meeting them around the same time and having our weddings near each other and being each other's maid of honor (of course, this would have made one of us a matron of honor).  We imagined our husbands being best friends, and us having kids at the same time, who would grow up together to be best friends.  That wonderful time of fun and service (which was about exactly a year, from very early 2004 to very early 2005) bonded us deeply.  

     Yet, now, after all of that, I was finding this note taped to my front door.  The last month, Amanda's life had started taking a different direction, and I was being left behind.  In recent weeks, walls had gone up between us.  This note confirmed it.  I was so shaken up.  Amanda said she still cared about me, but wanted to end our friendship and didn't want to hear from me.  I was totally blindsided by this. 

    I will say that God crossed our paths again later, and we ended up once again attending the same church.  Amanda was a guest at my wedding, and we are friends today...though not even close to what we had in 2004.  Our husbands are only passing acquaintances.  We don't live in the same state, and have not done any ministry together since 2005.  The reasons for the break in our friendship back then aren't important to what I am sharing right now.  At that moment in time, I felt totally broken and betrayed.  I had loved this wonderful friend, and yet where did that leave me?  I wish I could say this was the only friendship in my life that ever fell apart or had a conflict, but it isn't.  Does love fail sometimes after all?  

     First Corinthians 13:4-8a give a beautiful picture of love: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails... If you're like me, you read these verses and find yourself falling a little short, and also confused about the meaning of some of it.  My relationships don't always look like this.  My friendship with Amanda looked like that for a while, but it failed in the end.  It didn't persevere.  And what about the rest?  Should we always trust everyone we know, simply in the name of showing love?  If someone continues to abuse your trust, does this passage mean you have to keep trusting them, not keeping in mind their track record for deceit (since love keeps no record of wrongs)?  I don't believe it means that.  I believe the love described in this passage is a picture of what love is designed to be, and what God's love looks like when we let it flow through us to other people.  We can be conduits of that love into their lives!  That is exciting!  Let's look at each aspect of love in this passage, and also, how to realistically respond in our own relationships.  

     The best part of this is that we don't have to conjure it up ourselves.  It is in His strength.  A book I highly recommend about this is Nancy Missler's book The Way of Agape (order it here).  This book talks about how we can become that conduit of love from God into other people's lives.  I have never, ever had a time when I asked God for His love for a difficult person that He didn't fill me with His love for them.  It's a prayer He loves to answer with a yes!  

Love is patient and kind--God is so patient and kind to us.  There are many verses that attest to this, but one in particular is Psalm 86:15, But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.  That is the kind of love God shows to us.  A love that patiently waits for us, and gently prods and works in our lives.  He can, in turn, give us that kind of patience and kindness for others that He puts in our lives.  

Loves doesn't envy or boast, is not proud or dishonorable--God is so far above us.  He could just blow us away with how much greater He is than us, but he doesn't do it.  He rejoices in us! Zephaniah 3:17 says God will rejoice over you with singing.  He does tell us about Himself in the Bible, so we can know Him, but He isn't boastful.  He is great.  He is God.  But He gives us a pattern of how to love other people.  In my friendship with Amanda, a lot of it was great, but toward the end, I was jealous, and I didn't always honor her in her decisions.  She didn't honor me in the way she ended things.  It is easier to have God's kind of love in this area when we have the right viewpoint of our own relationship with God.  If we are letting Him fulfill us, there is no room for envy, boasting, pride or dishonor--just joy in what He is doing in us, and in others. 

Love is not self-seeking--God loved us so much He was willing to do whatever it took for our sins to be forgiven.  If He was a self-seeking God, He would have just let us go to hell.  But He loves us.  He wanted our best.  Even after salvation, God continues to work for our good (Romans 8:28).  Friendships can easily start to turn into "What's in it for me," but someone who really loves the other person with God's love only wants what is best for them.  Only God can do that work in our hearts.  We are only capable of that selfless love when we are letting God fulfill the needs of our hearts.  Then, we stop looking to the other person to do that for us, and instead, are able to love them without expecting anything in return.  

Love is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs--Not being easily angered goes along with love being patient and kind.  God Himself is slow to anger.  We already read that in Psalm 86:15.  As far as God not keeping a record of our wrongs, Psalm 103:12 says God has removed our transgression from us as far as the east is from the west.  Hebrews 8:12 says, For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.  He chooses forgiveness.  This does not mean He allows us to keep on sinning.  His Spirit convicts us, and He works with us in our Christian lives to make us more like Jesus. Hebrews 12:6 says that whom the Lord loves, He chastens... Likewise, I don't think First Corinthians 13 is saying you just have to let it go every time someone you love hurts you.  There might be ongoing problems that need to be dealt with.  There are places in scripture that give direction for resolving problems between believers (Matthew 18, for one), and even a record of when two believers, Paul and Barnabas, were unable to resolve their issue and parted ways (Acts 15:39).  In light of this, we can conclude that First Corinthians 13 isn't talking about that.  It is talking about forgiving and being able to move on when things have been made right.  It's about showing grace.  Jesus forgave those who killed Him (Luke 23:34), but after His resurrection, He didn't pursue a relationship with them.  There might be times when you have to forgive and move on, but also go away from a certain person and focus your time and emotional energy elsewhere.  I believe this is saying we should always be willing for there to be restoration if the person should ask...but if they don't, we are not obligated to go after them and try to make the relationship work on our strength alone.  Love them from a distance if need be. 

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth--God delights when we are walking with Him, living in obedience to Him.  The reason this delights Him is because He loves us and wants our highest good.  He knows sin will hurt us, and that is why it grieves Him.  Likewise, we should love others so much that their sin grieves us--not because we think we're better than them, but because we know God has better for them.  We should rejoice when people are in the truth of God's word.  

Love always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres--God really went out on a limb for us when He sent His Son to save us.  He protects our soul from hell when we receive His salvation.  We should go out on that limb to tell people how much Jesus loves them, and what He did for them to be saved.  Lead people to the Lord.  The part about how love always trusts is a tough one.  We can't trust some people, and I don't believe God asks us to do that.  I believe this is saying to believe the best about people, and when we can't, we are to believe the best about God and trust Him where we can't trust the person.  We need to be realistic.  David realistically knew King Saul wanted to kill him (First Samuel 20:3), but he trusted God to make things right, which was why he didn't take revenge into his own hands (First Samuel 24 and 26).  David lost trust in Saul, but he never lost trust in God.  The idea of love always hoping and persevering goes along with just wanting the best for others, whether or not you remain close to them.  If God gives you an opportunity to do good to someone, do it in the name of the Lord.  Have hope that God can use it in that person's life.

Love never fails--Our human love can and does fail, but God's love never fails.  He never forgets us, and He is always there to help us love other people.  Sometimes, loving someone means stepping away from them and letting God deal with them.  God Himself does that at times.  Psalm 81:12 says that He gave them up unto their own hearts' lust: and they walked in their own counsels.  This passage is not telling us to keep holding onto painful relationships.  On the other hand, it isn't telling us to necessarily walk away.  Every situation is different.  Let God guide you.  Remember, though, that if you are called to continue on with someone, God has to be the one filling you, meeting your emotional needs, and giving you that love for the other person.  Trying on your own will only cause resentment to fester.  

     There are confusing messages out there.  In 2004 (while I was still good friends with Amanda) I--like many Christians at that time--read Rick Warren's book The Purpose Driven Life.  I actually read it three different times that year, because three different Bible study groups I was in all read it right after each other, so I got a triple dose of it.  I am neither praising nor condemning this book or author.  One comment in the book was that relationships are always worth restoring.  At the time, I took that to heart.  I had another friendship that was on the edge of decline at the time.  This friend, whom I'll call Cara*, was really being hurtful.  I was supposed to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, and was trying to opt out of being in the wedding, and really just distance myself, but every time I tried, Cara would apologize for being hurtful and beg me to still be in the wedding.  This statement in the book made me decide to stick with her.  Idealistically, I thought I could love her so much that it would change her.  As if I were that powerful.  Anyway, trying to make the friendship work only brought deeper hurt onto me that I could have avoided if I had wisely distanced myself earlier.  Yes, relationships are worth restoring, but only if both parties want to work on it.   After all, God did His part to make a relationship with us possible, but if we don't take Him up on His offer of salvation, that relationship won't happen.  Relationships require both parties.  

     We live in this idealistic world, where both Christian and secular culture present happy friendships with very easily-resolved conflicts.  Movies and television shows portray characters "killing [the mean person] with kindness" until they become good and nice.  That isn't real life.  That isn't real love.  Real love is being able to keep caring about someone, without having that person love you back.  It doesn't mean you keep doing good deeds for them.  It means that you are kind to them when God brings an opportunity, and you pray for them.  It doesn't mean purposely being vulnerable to hurts they might inflict on you.  Some people argue that Jesus lovingly let people crucify Him all for love...but it wasn't that simple.  Jesus didn't just say to Himself, "I love them, so I'll let them beat me and kill me to make them happy."  Not at all!  Jesus knew it was the only way to purchase our salvation.  He did it out of love for us!  If there is a greater purpose to someone hurting you, that is one thing, but you do not have to allow people to hurt you for its own sake.  That isn't loving them or yourself.  

     I always feel terrible when a relationship is damaged.  That can be so hurtful, like when Amanda and I parted ways.  I always feel so strongly that it can't possibly be God's will.  It certainly wasn't part of God's perfect design.  And yet it isn't always that simple.  There is some biblical validation for this happening.  Psalm 55:12-14 says, If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were rising against me, I could hide. But it is you, a man like myself , my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship at the house of God, as we walked about among the worshippers.  I can identify with this.  Some of the friendships I have lost in my life have been with people with whom I enjoyed sweet fellowship at church, among other believers.  Some friends were at sacred, special times in my life, and God used us in each other's lives.  How can things like that fall apart?  

14 

     As I already said, Acts 15 tells about how Paul and Barnabas, who had served mightily alongside each other, had a "sharp" disagreement and were no longer willing or able to work together--and the result was that more people came to Christ!  God used their separation for His glory.  We also notice that Paul and Barnabas didn't have mean attitudes toward each other.  We don't read about them bad-mouthing each other after they parted.  They didn't try to ruin each other's reputations.  Paul speaks positively about Barnabas and John Mark (who had been the source if the conflict) later in his writings  (First Corinthians 9:6; Galatians 2:1,9; Second Timothy 4:11).  They might have confided their frustrations in a trusted friend.  We don't know.  They continued loving each other biblically, even though they were not close anymore.  I think that is a pattern for us to follow.  

     Bottom line: relationships are connections between two or more people with personalities, desires, goals, strengths, weakness and wills of their own.  Since our lives are always moving forward, and God is leading us all differently, our relationships will not always remain unchanged.  God will show you the best way to love others in your life, and as He fills you with His love, you will experience His power working through you to extend that love to other people.  When He is meeting your emotional needs, you are free to truly love like Jesus loved.  In your walk with Christ, He will show you when to step away, when to let go.  I'm going to close with the chorus of a song by the Christian group Petra, because it sums up what I've been trying to say:

Love knows when to let go
Love knows when to say no
Love grows in the light of the Son
And love shows the world that the Son of
Love has come

God's Plans

     *Bill and his family have just moved to a new city.  They have visited three churches, and like different things about all of them.  How do they know which one God is leading them to join?

     *Susan is single and has been praying about meeting the right guy for her.  Dave started coming to her church recently, and after getting to know Susan, asked her out.  They have been seeing each other a few months.  How does Susan know if Dave is the one God has for her?

      *After much prayer and applying, Julie has been accepted into two different colleges.  Both offer the degree she is looking for, and both have advantages that would be good for her life.  Which one is she supposed to attend?  

     *Mark has gotten three different job offers in his field of expertise.  One pays better than the other two, but it is further from his house.  Another job of the three has better benefits, but he isn't sure he can work with that boss' personality.  Which job is God leading him to accept?  

     Do these scenarios sound familiar?  Chances are, you have had to make choices about your own life.  We all run into decisions we need to make.  I especially ran into these types of choices as a young adult, just out on my own.  What did God have in store for me?  Did God really care what I chose, if all the options were equally good?  I had friends who believed that God didn't really have a specific will for us, and that we could do whatever we wanted, so long as it technically wasn't defined in scripture as sin.  I couldn't swallow that.  They made it sound like God didn't care about what happened to us.  The God I had come to know and love was so vastly different than a casual observer in my life.  

     Jeremiah 29:11 is a verse many people use in referring to God's plan for our lives.  For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future.  Some (such as my friends who believed God didn't really care what we did, as long as it wasn't sin) would claim that this verse is talking about the Jews who were going to be taken to Babylon in the Old Testament, and has no relation to us.  I'm going to make the point that scripture has one interpretation, but many applications.  This verse teaches about what God was saying to the people from Jerusalem during that time, but can we learn a principle about God through it?  Yes!  God had a plan for His people, Israel.  We, the Christians, are His people too.  Would God put so much effort into some of His people, but not all of them?  Let's look at what the Bible does teach about us.

     Jesus clearly stated in John 3:16, For God so loved the world... This is saying that God loves all people, including you and me.  God has always had a plan for us!  Ephesians 1:4 says that even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love.  If God chose us to be His children, He clearly has a plan for our lives that is more than just us fumbling aimlessly through life as He just watches us, uninvolved.  Romans 8:28 tells us that God is always working for the good of those who love Him!  Luke 12:7 says that the hairs of our head are numbered!  Matthew 6:32 reminds us that God knows our needs and provides for us.  This is furthered in Philippians 4:19, But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.  James 1:17 tells us that Every good and perfect gift is from above...  This means that your home, friendships, family, job, etc are gifts from above, not just things you're responsible to make happen on your own.  In looking at all of this, we conclude that we have a God who went to all the trouble of choosing us, creating us, saving us, loving us, knowing the number of hairs on our heads, working for our good, providing for our needs, and giving us gifts, don't you think God has a plan for us?  

     God provided our greatest need in salvation.  Romans 8:32 adds that, how will he not also with him [Jesus] graciously give us all things?  If God cares enough to send His Son for you, can't you also trust Him to lead you to the church, spouse, job, etc. that He has for you?  Don't you think God wants to guide you?  He already has a lot invested in you!  

     Let's look at how God guided believers in the Bible.  He called Abram (later Abraham) to leave his home and go to a land He would show him (Genesis 12:1).  He called Moses (from the burning bush) to be the deliverer for His people in Egypt (Exodus 3:4-4:17).  He called Joshua to lead the people into the promised land (Joshua 1:1-9).  He called Elijah in his prophetic ministry (First Kings 17-19, ff).  He called Jeremiah, and went so far as to tell him, Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.  It is true that God was speaking specifically to Jeremiah, and we need to be careful in how we apply scripture to ourselves.  However, this passage tells us something about God, and this truth is reiterated in other places in scripture, which we have already looked at.  God calls His people from before He even created them!  He has plans for them!  These plans include things like what we do, and who we marry (or if we marry).  Jeremiahs was told in chapter 16 verse 1 not to marry.  Those mentioned here are just a few of the Old Testament believers God called and led.  

     What about the New Testament?  Does God still work in the same way?  Yes!  While Jesus was on this earth, He restricted the use of some of His divine attributes, and He was dependent on the leading of the Father.  He sought God's will, including choosing the disciples (He started choosing them in Matthew 6, but in John 17:7, Jesus states that the Father gave these disciples to Him).  Jesus set for us the perfect example of seeking the Father's will, and obeying Him.  That is what we need to be doing!  After Jesus ascended into Heaven, the early church was dependent on the leading of the Holy Spirit, much like us today.  In Acts 16, we read about the Apostle Paul and his companions trying to go to Asia, but God kept preventing them, and then, in a dream, God called Paul instead to Europe.  God had very specific plans for Paul, and his mission.  In Acts 17:26-27, Paul told the people of Athens that God determined when and where people would live, for the express purpose of it being the time and place where they would seek God and know Him.  In Acts 27, Paul hears from an angel of the Lord, telling him that everyone aboard the ship they are traveling on will be spared, but that the ship would be destroyed.  It happened, just as he said.  

     As Christians, we have the Holy Spirit.  A hymn I know, entitled, I am Resolved contains the line, "Taught by the Bible, led by the Spirit," and I think that should sum up the way we live as Christians.  We are to be informed by scripture, and guided by the Holy Spirit.  I have to emphasize this: Any experience we have must be evaluated through the lens of scripture.  Anything we believe we are being led to do must pass the scriptural test.  God will never lead someone to disobey what He has established in His word.  God isn't going to lead me to murder someone!  God isn't going to lead me to have an affair.  God isn't going to lead me to cheat on my taxes.  We always want to make sure what we are doing lines up with scripture, and that we know what God has said in the Bible.  

     Having the Holy Spirit is a gift that the Old Testament believers couldn't have even imagined having all the time.  Before Acts 2, the Holy Spirit would come on people to perform a certain task, but would then leave them.  To have full access to the Holy Spirit all the time is something they would have marveled at!  Jesus told the disciples at the last supper, When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth, for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears, He will speak, and He will declare to you the things that are to come.  This was a promise, not only to the disciples, but to everyone who comes to Christ!  God has been guiding us through the Spirit in conjunction with the Bible ever since the days of Pentecost.  

     Some argue that, with the completion of the Bible, we no longer have need of God to work in our lives.  These people would say the Bible alone is our guide.  It is true that the Bible is God's perfect and final word.  It is also true that the cannon of scripture is closed, and nothing will be added to it (Revelation 22:18).  However, we are between Christ's first and second coming, and there is more to come!  God is at work in our world!   This view of downplaying the work of God in our lives today is a theological position known as Cessationism.  The only scripture that holders of this position are able to use to support it is First Corinthians 13:8-10, which talks about how certain gifts will disappear when what is perfect comes.  Those who hold to the Cessationism view would claim that "perfect" is referring to the completion of the New Testament.  Here is why this is a problem to me:  First, it is not clearly stated that the "perfect" is the Bible.  Others have argued that it is Christ's return.  I believe it is too ambiguous for anyone to be dogmatic about it.  Secondly, the context of First Corinthians 13 is about love.  This passage is specifically talking about how love is even greater and more enduring than gifts of speaking tongues or prophecy.  The Apostle Paul gives teachings about tongues and prophecy elsewhere (the next chapter, actually).  This mention in First Corinthians 13 really isn't a strong teaching about these gifts as much as a comparison to illustrate how great love is.  All the same, many have used this passage to say that these gifts are no longer to be part of believers' lives today.  I believe that is going beyond the teaching of this passage, and focusing on the wrong aspect of what is being said.  I know believers who have varying beliefs on these gifts.  I have my own beliefs about them.  As long as things are done biblically, and discussions about them are respectful, I do not fault anyone, nor do they fault me (and just to be clear, I have a Southern Baptist viewpoint theologically).  The bigger issue I have is that people who hold this view that tongues and prophecy passed away when the Bible was complete are going beyond what the passage is actually teaching, and building an entire doctrine, and then, they take it beyond just tongues and prophecy, and turn it into anything involving the Holy Spirit at all.  Healing is often lumped with this, and yet healing is not even mentioned in First Corinthians 13.   Knowledge is mentioned beside tongues and prophecy, and yet we still obviously have knowledge today.  But as I said, they often broaden this teaching to involve anything they see as God's power.  I have had Cessationists become very angry with me when I have shared that the Holy Spirit spoke to me in my Quiet Time, or if I shared about how God gave me guidance in a specific situation.  I even had one Cessationist compare me to Joseph Smith (founder of Mormonism) and accuse me of claiming to have a new revelation equal to scripture.  That was certainly not true!  They use this belief to minimize the Holy Spirit, because they assume that anything we think we experience is extra-biblical, and that we're trying to put it on an equal plane with scripture.  That is not true for godly, Bible-believing Christians.  This is why it is so important to make sure we interpret everything in light of scripture--experiences, things people say to us, nudges we believe are from God--all of it must be interpreted biblically.  Sometimes we can think we're hearing from God when we aren't.  However, just because people make mistakes in this area does not justify the Cessationist position.  It is unbiblical to claim that the completion of scripture means God doesn't speak to us, or to claim that He works in our lives differently than He did for believers whose stories we read in scripture.  He told us about these believers in scripture so we would better know Him and how He works!  

     God never changes.  Numbers 23:19 says, God is not a man that he should lie, neither the son of man that he should repent.  Hath he said, and shall he not do it, or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?  James 1:17 says there is no shadow of turning with God.  Hebrews 13:8 says that Jesus is the same yesterday, to day, and forever.  Revelation 22:13 says, I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.  Why would we think God stopped working in people's lives all of a sudden, after He put so much effort into the people in the Bible, and preserving that Word for us?  The same God who called Abraham calls to you!  

     Of course, our journeys are each our own independent walk with the Lord.  He called to Abraham, but gave Moses a burning bush.  He allowed Peter to be a disciple of Jesus and among the first to get the Holy Spirit, but had the Apostle Paul come to Him in a drastically different way on the road to Damascus.  You are an individual, and God will work specifically in your life, but He will always work according to who He has revealed Himself to be in the Bible.  

     It is true that teachings about the Holy Spirit have been abused.  I used to know a very insecure woman who, anytime she wanted people to accept her ideas, she would say, "The Holy Spirit told me..." and then she'd state her idea.  It was a setup where you weren't allowed to argue with her or it appeared you were arguing with the Holy Spirit.  This is clearly selfish and wrong.  We need to be very careful when claiming to speak for God.  We need to weigh what we believe we are being told.  There have been whole churches who did extreme, showy things, claiming the Holy Spirit was doing them, when He wasn't.  I have as much contempt for this as I do for the extreme opposite of Cessationism.  Some people go so far as to say all believers must experience certain "sign" gifts to authenticate their salvation, which I completely disagree with.  There is no biblical evidence to support this at all.  Having said all of that, just because these teachings have been abused doesn't mean the Holy Spirit isn't active in our world and lives today.  Some people (the friends I mentioned earlier in this post)  take the extreme approach to say that God doesn't work that way today, and that all we need is the Bible, and if we obey the claims and commands in it, we're okay, and God doesn't care about the specifics of our lives.  What a depressing way to live!  No interacting with God.  No personal relationship.  The reason the Bible is "living and active" (Hebrews 4:12) is because we read it illuminated by the Holy Spirit in our hearts.  No other books can do that for us, because no other book allows us to have the Author in our heart!

     Many people (possibly the friends mentioned) want a relationship with the Bible, but not with the God of the Bible.  In John 5, Jesus dealt with some Pharisees who had much the same idea.  He told them, You study the scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life.  These are the very scriptures that testify about Me, yet you refuse to come to Me to have life.  (verses 39-40).  There are many modern-day Pharisees who think they're okay, because they know what the Bible says and are trying in their own strength to live by it, but they are not experiencing the fullness of God working in and through them.  They don't know the joy of loving the Lord.  

     Here is something else to consider.  God is our loving Father.  Do you think a good parent would just watch their children fumble through their life, hurting themselves, making terrible mistakes, without warning them, trying to help them, getting involved when needed?  A loving parent wants the best for his children, and that's what God wants for us.  Jesus said in Matthew 7:11, If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!  

     God has plans for us!  He is active in our lives.  Our job is to listen, trust and obey.  He will make His will clear if we really want to know it.  God is not limited to the way He might work, but generally, He will speak to us through the Bible, our prayer life, circumstances He orchestrates, and fellow believers.  When these things all line up, it is often God's way of leading us.   I'm always encouraged by Isaiah 30:21, And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.  Likewise, Psalm 32:8 says, I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.  It sounds like God wants us to know His will!  The New Testament even says this: By ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.   God wants us to know and do His will, but more importantly, He wants us to know Him, because He loves us so much!  Knowing and doing the will of God isn't a formula to follow.  It's knowing God.  It's having that relationship with Him.  It's loving Him.  It's seeking Him.  It's obeying what you already know to do, and counting on Him to show you the next step.  It's denying yourself, taking up your cross daily, and following Jesus!  If you are seeking Him, everything else will fall into place (Jeremiah 29:13, Matthew 6:33).  

     What would God want Bill, Susan, Julie and Mark (from the very beginning of this post) to do in their situations?  As with all of us, they seek Him, and He will guide!