No Eye Has Seen

     Have you ever had an entirely different perspective about things than others?  A friend of mine recently asked people online to share a controversial opinion they had about a non-controversial thing (IE: Pepsi is better than Coke--things along that line).  People shared things that were basically their opinion that a lot of people might disagree with, but that isn't an overall important issue to begin with.  The one I shared was that I don't think the California-based restaurant In-N-Out is really that great (and yes, I had a lot of people jump on me for that one!--and no, I don't dislike In-N-Out, I've just never understood what the fuss was about.  It's pretty average in my opinion, although it is a Christian company, and I do recommend supporting it in that way.).  We all have those little opinions about things that don't really matter much.  But sometimes, we see more in-depth things differently than a lot of people.  What does it mean?  Does it imply you are wrong?  

     I would like to suggest that often, your own perspective on something is God-given.  It was for a hero of mine.  Andrew van der Bijl, widely known as Brother Andrew, had a very different perspective.  Andrew passed away two days ago (9/27/22) at the age of 94.  He is now in the presence of Jesus, and is also now reunited with his wife of 60 years, Corrie, who passed in 2018.  As I write this, he is hearing, Well done, good and faithful servant, something I aspire to one day, and I imagine you do too.  

     As a Dutch Christian in his twenties, Andrew had devoted his life to mission work.  He went to a missionary training school in Britain.  God taught him a lot there, and he assumed that after he graduated, he would join a friend of his who was serving in Korea.  But God had other plans for Andrew--plans He had put into play from before the foundation of the world.

     Two weeks before graduation, God brought something else across Andrew's path.  Something that would change the course of his life, and modern church history.  Andrew found a magazine that advertised a trip behind the Iron Curtain, open to students.  Something about this struck him, deep in his heart.  He felt led to go on this trip, which was to promote Communism to young people.  Andrew was upfront with the leaders arranging it, telling them that he was training to be a missionary.  He wanted to join the trip, and would listen to their talks about Communism, as long as he could share about Christ.  These conditions were amazingly accepted, and Andrew was on his way to a very unique mission field.  No one from the outside had done ministry in the Soviet Bloc before this.  This was a new, and quite formidable, mission field.  Andrew's missionary school had sent workers all over the world--except behind the Iron Curtain.  No one wanted to go there.  But Andrew did.  God had formed his heart and passions a little differently.  He knew this opportunity was of the Lord.

      The verse that God gave him on this very first trip was Revelation 3:2a Be watchful, and strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die...  He knew the Holy Spirit was revealing His will for Andrew's life.  He was to spend his life strengthening what remained--Christians and churches in trouble, at risk, much like believers throughout history have been.  This was the calling on Andrew's life, and it led him on the adventure of a lifetime.  His ministry to Communist nations can be read about in his breathtaking book God's Smuggler (1967, view here).  After the Cold War ended, he did ministry in Islamic nations, and you can read about that in his book Secret beleivers: What Happens When Muslims Believe in Christ (2008, view here).  

     God had put that heart into Andrew long before that moment of calling.  As a young man, he had tried every way he could to find fulfillment and adventure, and came up lacking.  Disappointment and heartache left him very doubtful that God could have anything for him.  That's where he was wrong!  God ended up calling him to a life of adventure, intrigue, risk and excitement.  God used Andrew's own gifts and heart for His glory.  

     I relate to a lot of Andrew's story.  God has led me to some unique ministry situations that others seem not to notice.  Maybe you can relate to Brother Andrew's story, too.  Or maybe you can't.  Maybe God's unique calling for you is vastly different, and God has given you other role models than he gave me.  My point is, God created you for His purposes, different from anyone else.  What most distinguishes you from others just might be the thing that brings God the most glory!  Here are some truths you can bank on.

God intentionally knit you together in your mother's womb: For You created my innermost parts;

You wove me in my mother’s womb.  Psalm 139:13

God chose you!  According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love.  Ephesians 1:4

God planned exactly where (geographically) and when (historically) you would live.  ...having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation... Acts 17:26

God has plans that He created for you to fulfill:  For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.  Ephesians 2:10

God is working all things for your good, all the time! And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, who are the called according to His purpose.  Romans 8:28.

God will complete what He started in you.  For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.  Philippians 1:6.

God is on your side! What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?  Romans 8:31

God will strengthen you to accomplish His will.  But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.  Isaiah 40:31.  

You will reap the rewards of obedience as you follow God.  Therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward.  For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised.  Hebrews 10:35-36.  And another favorite verse on the subject: Let’s not become discouraged in doing good, for in due time we will reap, if we do not become weary.  Galatians 6:9.

You are victorious!  For whoever has been born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has overcome the world: our faith.  First John 5:4

If you follow God's leading, you will be able to say in the end, with the Apostle Paul: I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; in the future there is reserved for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing.  Second Timothy 4:7-8

     What passion has God given you that is different from others?  A man at my church is a dentist, and he felt a passion to start up a dental clinic for the poor, where people could get dental work done free of charge, and also hear the Gospel.  Dental work certainly isn't my passion or ability.  But it was his. God had uniquely gifted and called him.  Another friend of mine has a passion for providing clean water for everyone on earth, and she gives to causes that help promote that in hard areas of the world.  What passion has God put into you?  What opportunities has He given you that others might not have had?  

     Years ago, I taught a Good News Club in my hometown of Riverside, California.  We held the club every Wednesday afternoon, right in the middle of town.  We had between thirty and fifty elementary-aged children every week.  Some came from in-tact homes (many were Christian families), while others were wild ragamuffins who roamed the streets and got into mischief.  Among the children who attended were a set of six siblings.  They called themselves "Brady Bunch without the Dad."  There were three girls and three boys, ranging in age from kindergarten to sixth grade.  Like the fictional Brady Bunch, the girls all had "hair of gold," and the boys had dark hair.  The similarities between the G-rated TV show and this real-life family ended here.  

     The father of these children was in prison, and their mother was emotionally unavailable (though physically present).  Their grandmother and aunt were part of their lives, and did a lot for them, but they lacked guidance.  God really laid them on my heart, and as I got to know them, especially the oldest girl, I saw a heart for the Lord, and I felt God leading me to fine-tune that, and disciple her.  I ended up taking all six kids to Sunday church and to Wednesday night AWANA weekly, and the eldest three were part of my summer evangelism team over the years.  I believe this was God's plan for me long before I came into being.   

     When I first got involved with this family, some "nice" Christians from around town questioned me about it.  They wanted to know why I would invest in them.  One person said, "They don't exemplify the fruit of the Spirit."  Well wasn't that the point?  Another demanded, "How could you get involved with children like that?  Their father is in prison!"  (To this comment, I thought of the words of Jesus in Mark 2:17: They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.)  This ministry to these kids wasn't these people's callings, so it seemed odd to them, but it was my calling.  Is there something like that you are being called to, or have been called to in the past?  Something others might not understand, but you know is from the Lord?  When Brother Andrew started his work behind the Iron Curtain, some people thought what he wanted to do wasn't feasible, just like those who didn't see the wisdom in my working with my Brady Bunch kids.  We are not answerable to these people, we are answerable to Christ.  Obeying God's calling amidst opposition (even mild opposition) is an act of faith, and faith pleases God (Hebrews 11:6).

 

     A little clue about what God's calling to you might be is this.  When you see someone else doing that thing, you feel a sense of invigoration.  A sense of I should do that!  This other person's testimony resounds with you.  Maybe you see yourself in their story, much as I could while reading God's Smuggler.  It doesn't mean God's plan for you will be exactly the same, but God may be giving that example as something to hold out for in your own life.  I am prayerfully starting to work on a future blog post that will expound on this topic of things resounding with us.  Stay tuned for that!

          One of the reasons Brother Andrew served as such a role model to me was his emphasis on the Gospel.  I love this quote by him:  Christians need a new filling of the Holy Spirit to love those who disagree with them. And the greatest expression of love is to share with them the most precious thing a Christian has, which is the good news of the salvation of Jesus Christ.  So many people I meet nowadays want to just focus on showing love by being nice and leaving it at that, but they would consider sharing the Gospel to be too far, and call even the mildest witnessing attempts to be "shoving it down their throats."  Those accusations have been my lot in life as I've followed God's plans for me.  I have been in trouble for sharing the Gospel, here in America, and more so in the 20th century than the 21st, I'll add.  I may not have gone behind the Iron Curtain, but I've dealt with seeker-sensitive youth leaders, and politically-correct bosses who shamed me deeply, and forbade me to continue sharing Christ.  I was put in hard situations of having to choose.  I had my very first job (at a Christian setting) on the line for it.  Between the ages of 14 and 19, I was in several situations where I had to choose to obey God rather than man.  I had to count the cost and pay the price, believing I would one day reap the reward.  I was in one particular situation where I had to secretly witness, like a spy.  I had to depend on God to shield me from having what I did be exposed.  Though the stakes weren't as high as for Christians living under communism, it could have cost me my job, and did cost me relationships, including a dating relationship I was in.  That is why Brother Andrew became such a role model to me.  Someone was doing what I was doing.  Many voices around me (supposedly fellow Christians) were condemning me, but this story of a faithful Christian Dutchman many years my senior validated me.  Has anyone done that for you, encouraging you onward in your calling?  Who are your heroes of the faith?  I hope my life has that validating effect on other Christians.  Another blog post I am praying about writing is about my "spy" evangelism days, but I want to write it in the right way.  It's a tricky story, but continues to affect the way I do ministry to this day.  

     Brother Andrew is in Heaven, and we on earth must go on, the poorer for losing him from this life.  But there are others.  There are always others.  You, for example.  God has you on earth at this time in history, at the place He has put you.  Sometimes, His plans for us are exciting, like smuggling Bibles to believers in closed nations, just barely avoiding being caught by government agents who could execute you!  Other times, following God's plans can be obediently going to work, and living for Christ there, having no idea you are being an example to your coworkers.  There are exciting days, and quiet days in our service for Him, but it all matters.  I have worked in both ministry and secular work, and I have seen God use me in both.  Both have been part of His plans for me.  Even in ministry (where I find myself now, and have at different times in my past), there are exciting days of seeing people come to salvation, and there are quiet days of doing paperwork.  It is all part of God's will.  How are you following God's leading for you right now?  Who is your role model (the way Brother Andrew has been mine)?  Who are you being a role model to?  

     Sometimes, we are called to wait for a while.  From the days Brother Andrew first longed and strove for adventure to the days he finally got it were a number of years of waiting.  Think of David.  In First Samuel 16, Samuel came to anoint him as the future king of Israel.  But David did not assume the throne until about 15 years later--and those were 15 hard years for him, where his life was threatened much of the time, and his best friend was killed.  Sometimes, we have to wait, but God is always faithful, and even those times of waiting aren't wasted.  God knows what He us doing. There is no searching of His understanding.  Isaiah 40:28.

     I will close with a favorite verse: However, as it is written: "No eyes has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"  First Corinthians 2:9.

Fear of Man

     "I remember one time," the speaker told us, "My boss asked me to come see him when I was available.  I was so nervous about it!  I spent the next few hours wondering if I was fired, and thinking of what plans I'd need to make.  If I wasn't actually being fired, but was being reprimanded for something else, I decided to plan my arguments ahead of time.  I came up with all sorts of things I would say in response to what I imagined he would say to me.  Finally, I went to his office, completely nervous..."

     I was at a women's event at my church.  The guest speaker was Christian author Trillia J. Newbell (look her up on Amazon.  I'll put her website at the bottom of this blog).  

Trillia Newbell

     I completely related to what she was saying.  I could easily imagine her nervousness all day, waiting to talk to the boss.  I've been in similar situations, really nervous.  Last week, I was nervous about a dental visit, and I really let it get to me.  

     Trillia concluded her story.  "...and the boss asked me if he could borrow a book he had seen me reading earlier."  Everyone laughed at how benign the boss' request ended up being, and I related to the little message of things are usually a lot smaller than we make them.  But her challenge to us went even deeper, and more convicting.  She relayed that she jokingly told the boss, "Do you know what you put me through today?" and everyone chuckled, but then, more seriously, she pointed out that she had done it to herself, and she had made a god out of her boss by obsessing about what he would say, and what she would say to him, and how she would respond, and what she might have to do as a result of what he said or did.  She was giving this man power over her day, and over her life.  I did the same with my dental appointment (which, but the way, went well--no cavities).  How many times do I let other people become a god to me, rather than leaning into the true God, the one who really has power over my life?  

My extra clean smile, just after my dental appointment last week.

     Having this much concern over the people in our lives is what the Bible calls the fear of man.  Proverbs 29:25 says, The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.  This doesn't say every person wants to lay a snare for you, but it does say fearing man over God is the snare.  That is so true.  A verse that has always encouraged me about this subject is Psalm 118:8, It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.  Even the best people let us down, because they are imperfect.  They are not all-powerful like God.  

     One of the reasons I was so afraid of seeing the dentist was because I feel very vulnerable to dentists.  I do not have a degree in dental hygiene.  I do not know how to read an X-ray.  They can tell me anything about my teeth, and I pretty much have no choice but to take their word for it (and pay whatever bill they throw at me for the damage).  I had a dentist who wasn't very honest when I was a teenager.  I have a lot of fear of dentists having power over me.  And yet I now see I made the dentist a god--a god I ran from for a long time (this recent dental visit was my first in the 21st century).  I have taken very good care of my teeth for years, and didn't have any cavities.  I worried all these years for nothing--literally nothing!  And, I feared the dentist more than the Lord.  God is the one who goes with us.  This example with the dentist, or Trillia's example with her boss, are almost humorous.  But what about when the stakes are raised a little?

     There are two ways of fearing man.  Being afraid of what people can do to us to the exclusion of trusting in the Lord, and there is finding hope in a person instead of God.  Both are bad, and I think it can be easy for us to fall into them.  Let's examine both.

     First, let's look at that fear of people harming us.  Some people live in nations of despotic leaders, and everything they do is a risk.  I think of some of the believers in Communist countries Brother Andrew wrote about in his book God's Smuggler.  They had to be so careful.  That book describes different degrees of concern the people had.  Some Soviet-bloc Christians were great risk-takers, while others were very circumspect.  Brother Andrew himself had some close calls with government agents.  It might have been easy for them to fear these godless leaders who had the authority to imprison and even execute them.  Yet even in those situations, Matthew 10:28 says, And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.  Also, Jesus, speaking to Pontius Pilate, pointed out about humans in power: You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above... (John 19:11).  Human leaders only have the power God gives them.  God is really in control.  His purposes are served through human leaders, and He will one day deal with all evil.  God will give every believer the grace to face what he or she must in this life.  He did that for Corrie ten Boom when she spent a year in a concentration camp for helping Jews escape Nazi-dominated Holland.  

God's Smuggler, one of my favorite books.  Order here.

Corrie ten Boom's book The Hiding Place, another amazing book.  Order here.

   

     I would venture to guess most of us reading this live in nations with relative freedom.  Do we need those reminders too?  It is true that we don't have apparent risks...or do we?  A September 2 article in the Washington Post reports that a nurse practitioner named Paige Casey was fired from CVS's Minute Clinic for refusing to prescribe abortion-causing drugs.  Casey had originally told her employer that it went against her faith, and that was accepted, but their policy changed earlier this year, and Casey was told her faith would no longer be accommodated.  When she was still unwilling to prescribe these drugs, she was let go.  A lawsuit has been filed against CVS by Alliance Defending Freedom, and they are representing Paige Casey.  I will put the link to this article at the bottom of this post.  

     Page Casey's case is just one example.  During the height of the pandemic, churches in some areas were threatened and penalized for continuing to meet (in some US states, and even more so in Canada).  I personally saw this as persecution against Christians.  The way I see it, the pandemic was used as an excuse to go around our first amendment rights (and don't get me started on everything else I believe the pandemic was designed to do...that's for another time and place).  How many of us Americans have been trusting the Bill of Rights for our protection instead of God?  If you've done that, this experience in 2020 hopefully cured us of that.  

     It might seem like it's gotten bad in very recent history, but true followers of Christ have always gone against the grain, and faced persecution.  Even in the midst of religious freedom, and in times of a more Christian culture, those who really loved the Lord with all their hearts were the odd ones out.  Jesus said it would be that way.  Sarah Jane Foster is a case in point.  She was a young missionary from Maine in the late 1860's.  She was a teacher to the Freedmen in the South after the Civil War.  As Christians today, we might look back at the 19th century as a time of Christian perfection--but it surely was not!  Sarah Jane loved the Lord, and loved other people.  She not only taught her students reading and writing, but also about the Gospel of Christ.  She saw many in the community receive Christ as Savior.  She built loving friendships with the Freedmen, and appears to have had some romantic feelings toward one of them.  Suddenly, she wasn't a do-gooder anymore.  She was treating people the way Jesus would, as equals.  And the higher-ups of her sending organization didn't like it.  They were fine with her doing good deeds toward those they deemed as a little bit inferior and needed a little boost.  They were fine with her teaching reading and writing.  For Sarah Jane Foster, that wasn't enough.  The love of Christ was compelling her to go beyond social norms--just as it does for us today.  Sarah was penalized by being moved to another post, shortly before she died at age 29 of yellow fever.  Her diary and letters were put together into book form in 1990 (which I will give the link to at the bottom).  

Sarah Jane Foster, 1839-1868

     I have shared some of my own story in my writing, and some of you have done the same.  Some of us have experienced "going against the grain" for the Lord, in small and large ways.  This happens to Christians in every nation, in every community.  We ruffle the feathers of those who don't buy it.  Sometimes, fellow Christians (or those claiming to be fellow Christians--we'll let God sort that out) are the worst.  The implications are offensive to them.  If we are right, they are wrong, and they don't want to face that.  So what do we do?  Fear the loss of job, loss of favor, fines we may receive, and other consequences that might come?  It is only natural to be afraid.  I imagine Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego at least felt fear (we aren't told that, but they were human too).  But we are commanded to truly fear (revere) only God.  We are also given promises: ...in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength... (Isiah 30:15).  We are to be like the believers in Hebrews 11, who confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. (Verse 13).  Everything in our lives is under His control, including the day we die.  And when we do, we run right into His arms, reunited with all Christians who ever came before us.  

     I was seventeen when the Columbine High School shooting took place in Colorado.  I was the same age as many of those who were killed.  Two girls at that time were hailed as Christian martyrs: Rachel Scott and Cassie Bernall.  From all accounts, Rachel (the first student to die that day) was asked if she believed in God, and she replied, "You know I do," and was killed for her response.  Cassie's story is a little less definite, because she was shot in the school library, and there was a lot of confusion.  Another student in the library, Valeen Schnurr was asked if she believed in God, and said yes.  She was shot (but survived), and some confused her voice with Cassie's.  Some thought maybe there were two similar exchanges, one with Cassie and one with Valeen, but by most accounts now, it is believed that the exchange attributed to Cassie was actually Valeen (but Cassie was a Christian, even if not a martyr).  At any rate, students made a stand for the Lord that day, and some lost their lives for it.  I remember asking my dad, "Why would God let this happen?"  I was very shaken up, since these kids were my age.  Rachel Scott had been planning a mission trip that summer, just as I was.  I related to them.  My dad replied by reminding me of Psalm 116:15, which states: Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.  The believers who died that day ran right into the arms of their Savior, which we all will one day.  If God's got that covered, can't we trust Him in this life?  Don't fear those who wish you harm.  God is bigger.  

Rachel Scott, Columbine High School martyr, 1981-1999

     What about the other side of fearing men over God?  What about when we let our security rest in someone or something else more than God?  I alluded to the idea earlier of trusting the Bill of Rights instead of God.  Many have put their hope in trusted leaders.  There have been many wonderful leaders, but none of them deserve our faith and allegiance over God.  One US President in my lifetime said in his State of the Union address one year to put our religion aside and just put being fellow Americans as the top priority.  Interestingly, this man did not put his divisive ideologies aside in order to have unity with others, so it was hypocritical of him to ask that of us--but even if he were entirely sincere in saying it, he would be wrong.  Our faith in God must come before our allegiance to anyone or anything else.  Luke 10:27 reminds us we are to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind... It is okay to trust people, leaders, and established order to a point.  It just isn't where our security should rest.  

     So the next time your boss asks to talk to you later, or you have an upcoming dental appointment, or the government wants to close down churches in the name of public safety, or your job is threatened, or someone has a loaded gun pointed at you, fear the Lord and let Him comfort you with this passage: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7)

Trillia Newball's website: https://www.trillianewbell.com/

Washington Post article: https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2022/09/01/cvs-nurse-fired-abortion-pills/

Sarah Jane Foster's book: https://www.amazon.com/Sarah-Jane-Foster-Teacher-Freedmen/dp/0813913055

God Never Forgets

   God is infinite, whereas we live in the confines of time.   This means God's perspective is vastly different than ours.  His is perfect, while ours is limited.  Isaiah 40:28 says that ...there is no searching of his understanding.  Isaiah 55:9 reminds us For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.  

     As humans contending with life on earth, we move on in time.  Our perspectives change.  We forget.  But God never forgets. I had an experience this week that reminded me of this fact.

     I received a message from an old friend, basically out of the blue.  She reached out and shared how her life has gone in some bad directions, and she has experienced some very deep hurt.  I hadn't talked with this friend since we were teenagers (mid-90s).  It seemed both odd and flattering that she thought enough of our old friendship to reach out and share this personal info with me.  And suddenly, I was transported back in time, over 25 years.  

Me (the tallest girl pictured) as a young adolescent, 1993--the age I was when I met this friend, though she is not with me in the picture. The two younger girls with me here eventually outgrew me, and now I'm the shortest of the three of us!

     As a teenage girl, I desperately longed to witness to this friend.  My heart felt very burdened for her.  I knew she wasn't saved.  Her family was part of a cult.  They used some Christian lingo, but didn't know the real gospel.  That made witnessing to her very complicated, since she thought she knew the truths I did.  I never really figured out a way to convey the truth to her in a way she would understand.  I regretted that.  I remember one particular day, sitting down to write her a letter about Christ, but no matter what I wrote, it didn't seem like it would explain how the truth of the Bible was different from her cult. I never sent the letter.  Life moved onward, and we lost touch.  I forgot about her, and my burden to share Christ with her.  I had other things to focus on.  But that didn't mean God forgot her, or my burden to share with her.

     Suddenly, now, in 2022, I had this long-ago friend sharing her struggles with me.  And that memory of wanting to share the gospel with her came back so strongly, it was as if I were living it all over again.  I was once again that teenager from another century, sitting down to write that letter.  This was my time!  The fulfillment of something I once longed for, but had forgotten.  

     Praying as I did so, I replied, depending on God's help with the right words to show compassion and friendliness.  Then, I told her about Christ, and what He has done for me, and can do for her.  I don't know what she will do with this information, or our friendship.  That isn't up to me.  But God called on me to share Him with one who needs him so desperately.  It was an honor to serve.  Please pray for her salvation. 

   This experience was more than witnessing to an unsaved individual (thought it was that, and that is vital).  It was also seeing God being faithful to the desire of a teenager-turned-middle-ager. And if He did this with my burden to share with a friend, He does it with the other burdens that He has given us.  He never forgets what is important to us.  Psalm 37:4 says Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.  The fulfillment is in His timing.  Isaiah 46:10 says, Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure.  Ecclesiastes 3:11 adds that, He has made everything beautiful in its time...  God knows the difference between a real heart's desire from Him, and what is just a passing fancy.  

     I think of Simeon.  He waited his whole life for the Messiah.   God had told him he would live to see Him in his lifetime.   When Simeon saw baby Jesus, he knew the joy of a fulfilled desire, and knew he had lived his purpose.  He said in Luke 2:29-32, Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you may now dismiss your servant in peace.  For my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the sight of all nations: a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and glory to your people Israel.  

     Life moves on, but God never forgets.  He keeps everything that matters to you, even after you've given up.  The moral is, don't give up!  Give into Him!  He specializes in bringing dead dreams to life when they're committed to Him! I'll close with a quote by Martin Luther:  I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess.