Thou Shalt Not Judge!

 

Amy Grant

    In the last 24 hours, I have been accused of being "judgmental" more than the entire rest of my life combined.  And why?  Here is why.  Two days ago, I found a song online that I had loved and sung in church as a young teen in the early 90s.  The songs was "Thy Word."  In our church's bulletins, it was accredited to Michael W. Smith, but it was sung by Amy Grant on one of her albums.  Our pastor used to tell us the real author was David (the biblical king) because the chorus of the song "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path..." was directly taken from Psalm 119:105.  As is the case with many church songs, they kind of lose momentum, and new songs take their place.  This is normal, to be expected.  I, personally, love Christian music from all eras--old hymns to the present, and want it all to be preserved and used.  I was so touched at finding this old song that I shared it on Facebook.  I hoped my friends would listen to it and feel the uplifting message in their hearts.  Well, was I in for a shock.
     I found myself in a battle I never expected.  Some objected to my posting a song sung by Amy Grant.  Amy Grant has made some decisions that many disagreed with.  I have my own feelings and opinions as well, but for me to draw a real, concrete conclusion, I would need a lot more information than I was ever given.  It just isn't that important to me.  Besides that, it was a very long time ago.  I honestly have no idea what Amy Grant is doing now.  I haven't kept up with her work in years (I'm just not good at keeping up with ANY artist...I was as a teenager, but I don't have time now).  Amy Grant, personally or professionally, was the last thing on my mind as I shared the beautiful song.  My thoughts were on memories of singing it with my own church family over twenty years ago.  I thought of Christian friends I hadn't seen in a long time, and how we worshiped the Lord with this beautiful song.  

     Amy Grant was not real high on my priority as I shared.  But it was as if I'd shot a bullet through a beehive.  The bees came stinging.  I was shocked, and tried to explain that I wasn't referring to Amy Grant, but the song.  Then, other people, who are on the complete opposite end of the conviction spectrum about Amy Grant, came after me for "judging" her past.  Good grief!  Did I judge her?  I shared a post of her singing "Thy Word".  How was that judging her?  True, I did try to placate those who objected to my using her song, but I wasn't making harsh statements about her.  It was like watching an accident in slow motion as people from both sides of this attacked each other and me.  I kept trying to direct people back to the beautiful lyrics, but that seemed to anger them more.  It was a hurtful mess.  I am genuinely grieved.  I shared a gorgeous praise song to bring people joy in the Lord, but started a war instead, likely bringing out all of our "less than Christlike" side.  One friend got very angry at something someone else said (I didn't even make the offending comment) and decided our friendship was over.  Good grief!  How did this get so out of control!  I feel sick to my stomach about this.

     I would like to isolate something for a minute.  I was accused of "judging" Amy Grant.  I absolutely deny that.  I made no comments about her at all.  I sympathized initially with someone objecting to her choices, but even in that, I didn't make a declarative statement against Amy Grant.  If you want to know my opinion about Amy Grant's music, or the impact of her decisions on Christian culture, you can talk to me personally, and we can have a casual discussion about it.  But that wasn't my goal at all.  I never "judged" her.

     This brings me to another point I have wanted to blog about for a long time.  It is as if "judging" is the new unforgivable sin to Americans.  My pastor in California used to say that John 3:16 was no longer the most commonly used verse.  Now, he said, it was Matthew 7:1 "Judge not, lest you be judged."  And he's right.  Even unbelievers are so quick to accuse people of judging, and admonish people not to do it. 

     It is true that Jesus said the words in Matthew 7:1.  We are not to have a critical spirit.  I will give an example of judging.  Let's say I'm walking late at night, and I happen to walk past the pastor's house.  I see a strange new car parked in his driveway, and I recognize it as belonging to a single woman in town.  I have no information about why her car is in his driveway, but let's say I assume, "Hmm, I bet they're having an affair!"  That is judging.  That is drawing a conclusion without having all the facts.  Are there other reasons her car could be in his driveway?  Absolutely.  Maybe the pastor and his wife are giving this woman counsel.  Maybe the pastor is fixing her car for her (I've left my car at other people's homes for this reason before).  So, to assume they are having an affair is judging.  I also think it is judging to make negative assumptions about people's motives.  I once read about a woman who judged a teenage boy as a punk because he never took his had off.  She later found out he had been mugged and had several chucks of his hair ripped out of his head, and had nearly died.  He wore the hat to conceal the damage.  This woman judged the young man without knowing his motive.  We can guess at people's motives, but we can't know without asking.  We should always be willing to get to know and understand people.

     However, it is as if the Christian community in America today is terrified to use any common sense at all to form an opinion, because it might be seen as "judging".  This carries over into calling out sin for what it is.  I have stated that the Bible defines homosexuality as sin, and I have all kinds of people telling me I'm judging.  No sorry, I'm not.  Judging in that case would be, "Hmm...why are they gay?  I'll bet they're doing it for attention, or maybe their dad molested them..." that's judging, because it is assuming something about the person's motives without knowing the facts.  But stating that it is a sin, per God's word, is NOT judging.  We should never compromise the truth for fear of being called judgmental.  That's what a lot of people feel we should do.  Some even call it "judging" if I won't go along with their politics.  Disagreeing isn't judging.  It is having an intelligent mind that has thought through all conclusions and formed the belief system.  That should be respected, not criticized.  As a Christian, I form all of my beliefs on God's word.  It is as if we have been programmed by our godless society to accuse each other of judging, instead of really thinking things through. 

     Several years ago, I served as a juror on a trial in Riverside County, CA.  We found the defendant guilty.  It was like living through an episode of Matlock as we listened to witnesses and deliberated.  One thing the district attorney told us has stuck with me, even a decade later.  He said, "You must find on the evidence, but that doesn't mean you check your common sense in at the door."  So true.  That's my guide for forming conclusions.  Find on the evidence given, but don't check my common sense in at the door.  God gave us discernment for a reason.

     In many cases, I have sadly seen the whole "not judging" thing as a control method.  In Christian circles, this can look like using the analogy Jesus gave about the speck in your brothers eye and the plank in your own.  This is a good, true passage, but it is very much misused sometimes to keep people from being able to question things that aren't right.  No one questions anything, so there is no accountability.  This isn't right.  God wants us to live Godly lives and be accountable to other believers.

     A very personal story about judging happened to me the summer I was eighteen.  I went on a 

mission trip.  There was another summer missionary.  He was from another state from me, and he made me very uncomfortable.  His bizarre behavior was seen as "all in fun" by everyone else, but I felt very worried for my safety.  He would follow me everywhere.  He would sit as close to me as he could without actually sitting on me.  He would touch me awkwardly.  He would talk to me in weird voices and say bizarre things to me.  I tried to get help, but everyone accused me of gossiping about him and judging him.  Because no one took me seriously, this man had a green light to do whatever he wanted, and he ended up majorly overstepping bounds and being the biggest stumbling block to me that I could ever have imagined.  I struggled for years with what happened.  When I ever tried to share about this with others, I was still told I was judging him.  Folks, this whole "don't judge" thing has gotten way out of hand.  Use your common sense!  God gave it to you!  It is okay.

     And, for future reference, 90% of the time, if I like and share a song, it is because of the song itself, not the artist.

Humble

    The summer of 1997 was a turning point in my life.  That was the first year I was a summer missionary with Christian Youth in Action.  It literally altered the course of my life forever.  My heart and confidence were built up.  I began to see the ways God could use me.  A whole new world was opened up to me!

     Christian Youth in Action (CYIA) was held at California Baptist College (now California Baptist University), in my home area of Riverside County, California.  I literally remember every single detail of every single moment from that summer.  In my mind's eye, I can see everyone exactly as they were.  The boys with their 90's "curtained" haircuts.  The girls in their bell bottoms (late 90's was mostly 70's styles revisited).  Everyone in their Christian T-shirts (many with Veggie Tales).  But, of course, when we were out teaching 5-day clubs, we all wore our Sunday best.  

     I can hear their voices, laughing, talking, lifted up in praise to the Lord, practicing evangelism on each other.  I can smell the scents of summer all around me. During CYIA, we had three earthquakes, and I can still feel them (even though I have experienced many earthquakes since that summer of 1997).  

     If I were a prisoner of war, I could replay that summer again and again in my mind.  Relive it minute by minute.     

     Everyone that summer was so wonderful.  The youth my age were true friends, and the adults were mentors.  It was a "prelude to Heaven" experience.  

     One group of students who served that year came from a church in Santa Barbara, California.  There was something very special about them, and for years I could never put my finger on it.  Most of them had never served with CYIA before, so they were first-timers, as I was.  They had come together in a church bus.  I felt oddly drawn to this group.  One friend I made who was from the Santa Barbara group was a girl my age I'll call Amy.  

     I was at a point in my life where I needed encouragement (the why behind that is another story).  Everyone at CYIA was used of God to meet that need in my heart, but especially Amy.  Amy was soft-spoken and reserved.  She talked in a gentle voice, and always had a kind word for everyone.  Her smile could light up any room she was in, though when I pointed this out, she was surprised, saying she considered herself to be plain.   

     There is a biblical parallel to that summer.  In First Kings chapter 19, Elijah was at the end of his spiritual rope.  Queen Jezebel wanted to kill him.  He was fleeing for his life, and at the height of his discouragement, he wanted to die.  God sent an angel to give him food, and it says that Elijah traveled on the strength of that food for forty days.  That's how the summer of 1997 was for me.  I moved forward on the strength of it.  I came defeated, and left in victory.  Everything I did after that had a deep sense of joy.  Sometimes I still think that summer influences me.  I kept in touch with my encouraging new friends.  I still have a scrapbook with all their letters.  Amy and I wrote back and forth for years.  She never returned to CYIA (I returned in 1998 and 1999).  Amy got more involved with mission trips her church youth group did, but we still wrote back and forth.  

     When I think about that summer, I ask myself what made everyone there stand out?  The answer is that they were given completely to the Lord.  What made the Santa Barbara group especially unique?  What made them appeal to me?  What made Amy in particular seem like a good friend?  What was it?  

     The answer is one simple word.  Humble.  These people were all humble.  Humility, even among Christians, is a rare find.  When I meet truly humble people, I desire their friendship.  Maybe, on an even deeper level, humble people reflect Jesus to me.  Philippians 2:8 says that Jesus "humbled himself" and became obedient to death.  

     Humility isn't putting oneself down.  Sometimes, I think a really negative self-concept is inverted arrogance.  Humility also isn't a personality trait.  It is something God has to create in us as we become more like Jesus.  That's what I want.  I hope I am as refreshing to someone who needs encouragement as Amy was to me in 1997.  I am a work in progress, but God is working it out in me, and in you!

The King is Naked!

    You're probably familiar with the story of the Emperor's New Clothes.  The emperor is given clothes that can supposedly only be seen by the wise.  In actuality, there are no clothes, but nobody wants to be considered a fool, so they all praise the king's nonexistent garments.  It is only a very wise child who is not afraid of repercussions who eventually says, "The king is naked!"

     Sometimes, I feel it is easy to be like the peer-pressured adults in this story.  Maybe you do too.  Go along with the consensus.  Don't make waves.  Most of us don't like controversy.  I know I hate going against the grain.  But, sometimes God calls us to that.

     When I was 22, I was in a college/career Bible study.  There were group leaders, but mainly, the older students (like myself), facilitated the discussions in small groups.  We would read the passage together and answer questions.  I really enjoyed being a table leader.  I liked everyone from the group.  At first.

     That fall, a new batch of high school graduates came to our class.  One was an 18-year-old boy I'll call James.  James was antagonistic to everyone, and made challenging statements on every subject we covered in the Bible study.  I don't mean he was truly seeking out the claims of scripture and asking honest questions.  I mean he was mean and rude for the sake of being mean and rude.

     One day, we were studying the Promises of God.  James piped up by saying that God sometimes lies to us to test us.  There were new believers in the group, and could see confusion on their faces.  As the leader, I felt responsible for what was said in this study.  I wanted everyone  to leave knowing God better than before, not being confused.  So I looked at James and said, "Chapter and verse, please?"

     He stammered. "Well, it's not something that's in the Bible."

     "Then," I replied, "it's not something that's true."

     He continued to insist that God was capable of lying.

     I brought up Numbers 23:19, "God is not a man that He should lie, neither the son of man, that He should repent..."

     James looked disgusted.  "I hate it when Christians use the Bible against me!"

     "If you didn't make heretical statements, you wouldn't need to worry about it," I told him.

     "Ding, ding, ding!  End of round one!" One of the humorous girls in our group chimed in, bringing a little laughter to the group.

     I left that day really hoping that the truth about God's character had gone out, and that no one had left with the wrong ideas about God.

     Imagine my surprise the next week when several of the more mature believers in the group were mad at me!  And why?  Because I hadn't said enough to refute James?  No.  It was because they felt I had been argumentative!

     Wait a minute here.  James came in swinging.  He was angry and unkind to everyone.  And most importantly, James had said untrue statements about God.  Yet they chose to be mad at me for refuting what he said!  In their mind, the right thing to do was cower, and the problem would magically go away.  They used the verse with me about being peacemakers.  I guess to them, peace meant ignoring what is wrong, rather than resolving it.

      I tried talking with the couple who was ultimately in charge of us (in their late 20's or early 30's), and they really didn't want to touch it.  They just said, "Well, he's a weak Christian, and you probably handled it the right way..."  but they wouldn't back me up or help me.

     After we finished that study and moved to the next, the groups were mixed, and James became someone else's problem (actually, he ended up in the same group as my brother, and started an argument with him about whether Mary and Joseph ever spanked Jesus).

     I went away from that experience very confused.  Yet this is not the only time I have seen this.  Many believers are terrified of conflict.  They're afraid to say, "The king is naked."  They are terrified of rocking the boat.  And they look down on those who do feel called upon to speak out.  I don't know why, but they often vilify the one who declares the truth, and turn the one who was wrong into the victim.  The one who is trying to address it is said to be judging.

     Judging is, in my opinion, the most misused idea in American culture, especially in Christianity.  I don't know how many times I have been accused of "judging" simply because I disagreed with someone or had a different opinion.  This is not judging.  Let me tell you what I believe judging really is (the kind that Jesus warned us not to do).  Let's say I'm out for a walk late at night.  I walk by a pastor's house.  In his driveway is the car of a single woman in town.  I ask myself, "why would she be at his house at this hour?  I bet his wife isn't home.  I'll bet they have an affair going..." and go on from there.  That is judging, because I don't have the facts at all and am making really bad assumptions.  This is what judging is.  But to see something I disagree with and say that I disagree...that isn't judging at all.  I'm not making a statement about the person's motives.  I have no idea what their motives are.  I just know I disagree with what has been said.  Like with James.  I never guessed at his motives or tried to ascribe values to him one way or the other.  I simply had problems with his statements.

     I don't like arguing with people.  It terrifies me too.  But when truth is at stake, or when something wrong has been done, I have to do it.  I pray.  I try to do it in a right way.  Sometimes I let fear hold me back, or sometimes I am too quick to speak without letting God temper my response.  It is a hard balance to achieve.  I'm still working on it.

     In Acts 1:8, Jesus said the Holy Spirit would give us power to be His witnesses.  This is the power to preach the gospel.  It is also the power to discern what is right or wrong, and when to speak out.  I want to encourage my brave friends who speak out about truth to keep doing it, tempered with the Holy Spirit's love.  And to my reserved friends, I want to encourage you to support those who speak out, instead of looking down on them.  They are not causing the conflict; they are trying to resolve it.  They are not getting any enjoyment or pleasure by confronting a situation.  They're responding to something God has given them to do.  Sometimes, all it takes is someone to stand up and say "The King is Naked".