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| Amy Grant |
In the last 24 hours, I have been accused of being "judgmental" more than the entire rest of my life combined. And why? Here is why. Two days ago, I found a song online that I had loved and sung in church as a young teen in the early 90s. The songs was "Thy Word." In our church's bulletins, it was accredited to Michael W. Smith, but it was sung by Amy Grant on one of her albums. Our pastor used to tell us the real author was David (the biblical king) because the chorus of the song "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path..." was directly taken from Psalm 119:105. As is the case with many church songs, they kind of lose momentum, and new songs take their place. This is normal, to be expected. I, personally, love Christian music from all eras--old hymns to the present, and want it all to be preserved and used. I was so touched at finding this old song that I shared it on Facebook. I hoped my friends would listen to it and feel the uplifting message in their hearts. Well, was I in for a shock.
I found myself in a battle I never expected. Some objected to my posting a song sung by Amy Grant. Amy Grant has made some decisions that many disagreed with. I have my own feelings and opinions as well, but for me to draw a real, concrete conclusion, I would need a lot more information than I was ever given. It just isn't that important to me. Besides that, it was a very long time ago. I honestly have no idea what Amy Grant is doing now. I haven't kept up with her work in years (I'm just not good at keeping up with ANY artist...I was as a teenager, but I don't have time now). Amy Grant, personally or professionally, was the last thing on my mind as I shared the beautiful song. My thoughts were on memories of singing it with my own church family over twenty years ago. I thought of Christian friends I hadn't seen in a long time, and how we worshiped the Lord with this beautiful song.
Amy Grant was not real high on my priority as I shared. But it was as if I'd shot a bullet through a beehive. The bees came stinging. I was shocked, and tried to explain that I wasn't referring to Amy Grant, but the song. Then, other people, who are on the complete opposite end of the conviction spectrum about Amy Grant, came after me for "judging" her past. Good grief! Did I judge her? I shared a post of her singing "Thy Word". How was that judging her? True, I did try to placate those who objected to my using her song, but I wasn't making harsh statements about her. It was like watching an accident in slow motion as people from both sides of this attacked each other and me. I kept trying to direct people back to the beautiful lyrics, but that seemed to anger them more. It was a hurtful mess. I am genuinely grieved. I shared a gorgeous praise song to bring people joy in the Lord, but started a war instead, likely bringing out all of our "less than Christlike" side. One friend got very angry at something someone else said (I didn't even make the offending comment) and decided our friendship was over. Good grief! How did this get so out of control! I feel sick to my stomach about this.
I would like to isolate something for a minute. I was accused of "judging" Amy Grant. I absolutely deny that. I made no comments about her at all. I sympathized initially with someone objecting to her choices, but even in that, I didn't make a declarative statement against Amy Grant. If you want to know my opinion about Amy Grant's music, or the impact of her decisions on Christian culture, you can talk to me personally, and we can have a casual discussion about it. But that wasn't my goal at all. I never "judged" her.
This brings me to another point I have wanted to blog about for a long time. It is as if "judging" is the new unforgivable sin to Americans. My pastor in California used to say that John 3:16 was no longer the most commonly used verse. Now, he said, it was Matthew 7:1 "Judge not, lest you be judged." And he's right. Even unbelievers are so quick to accuse people of judging, and admonish people not to do it.
It is true that Jesus said the words in Matthew 7:1. We are not to have a critical spirit. I will give an example of judging. Let's say I'm walking late at night, and I happen to walk past the pastor's house. I see a strange new car parked in his driveway, and I recognize it as belonging to a single woman in town. I have no information about why her car is in his driveway, but let's say I assume, "Hmm, I bet they're having an affair!" That is judging. That is drawing a conclusion without having all the facts. Are there other reasons her car could be in his driveway? Absolutely. Maybe the pastor and his wife are giving this woman counsel. Maybe the pastor is fixing her car for her (I've left my car at other people's homes for this reason before). So, to assume they are having an affair is judging. I also think it is judging to make negative assumptions about people's motives. I once read about a woman who judged a teenage boy as a punk because he never took his had off. She later found out he had been mugged and had several chucks of his hair ripped out of his head, and had nearly died. He wore the hat to conceal the damage. This woman judged the young man without knowing his motive. We can guess at people's motives, but we can't know without asking. We should always be willing to get to know and understand people.
However, it is as if the Christian community in America today is terrified to use any common sense at all to form an opinion, because it might be seen as "judging". This carries over into calling out sin for what it is. I have stated that the Bible defines homosexuality as sin, and I have all kinds of people telling me I'm judging. No sorry, I'm not. Judging in that case would be, "Hmm...why are they gay? I'll bet they're doing it for attention, or maybe their dad molested them..." that's judging, because it is assuming something about the person's motives without knowing the facts. But stating that it is a sin, per God's word, is NOT judging. We should never compromise the truth for fear of being called judgmental. That's what a lot of people feel we should do. Some even call it "judging" if I won't go along with their politics. Disagreeing isn't judging. It is having an intelligent mind that has thought through all conclusions and formed the belief system. That should be respected, not criticized. As a Christian, I form all of my beliefs on God's word. It is as if we have been programmed by our godless society to accuse each other of judging, instead of really thinking things through.
Several years ago, I served as a juror on a trial in Riverside County, CA. We found the defendant guilty. It was like living through an episode of Matlock as we listened to witnesses and deliberated. One thing the district attorney told us has stuck with me, even a decade later. He said, "You must find on the evidence, but that doesn't mean you check your common sense in at the door." So true. That's my guide for forming conclusions. Find on the evidence given, but don't check my common sense in at the door. God gave us discernment for a reason.
In many cases, I have sadly seen the whole "not judging" thing as a control method. In Christian circles, this can look like using the analogy Jesus gave about the speck in your brothers eye and the plank in your own. This is a good, true passage, but it is very much misused sometimes to keep people from being able to question things that aren't right. No one questions anything, so there is no accountability. This isn't right. God wants us to live Godly lives and be accountable to other believers.
A very personal story about judging happened to me the summer I was eighteen. I went on a
mission trip. There was another summer missionary. He was from another state from me, and he made me very uncomfortable. His bizarre behavior was seen as "all in fun" by everyone else, but I felt very worried for my safety. He would follow me everywhere. He would sit as close to me as he could without actually sitting on me. He would touch me awkwardly. He would talk to me in weird voices and say bizarre things to me. I tried to get help, but everyone accused me of gossiping about him and judging him. Because no one took me seriously, this man had a green light to do whatever he wanted, and he ended up majorly overstepping bounds and being the biggest stumbling block to me that I could ever have imagined. I struggled for years with what happened. When I ever tried to share about this with others, I was still told I was judging him. Folks, this whole "don't judge" thing has gotten way out of hand. Use your common sense! God gave it to you! It is okay.
And, for future reference, 90% of the time, if I like and share a song, it is because of the song itself, not the artist.
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