Remember...but don't linger

     Sometimes unmet expectations aren't disappointing.  It depends on what you expect, and how flexible you are.  I'm not always very flexible, and am therefore disappointed more often than I should be.  This is something God is working with me on, though, and this Christmas season was a joyful example!

Above: the Christmas Tree in Palm Springs, California, December 2018

     We just returned from an eleven-day journey.  We drove to California (our home state) for Christmas.  After spending two winters in below-zero blizzards in South Dakota, and now being in chilly 20's and 30's December weather in New Mexico, I figured California would feel perfect.  After all, people in northern states used to laugh at me for saying that 30 degrees was cold.  I expected 60-70 degree weather.  Well, in that, I suppose you could say I was disappointed...or validated.  The temperatures ranged from upper 20's to the 50's, depending on the time of day.  Also, the wind had a bite in it that had always chilled me as a child (but which I had forgotten about until I was in it again!).  It certainly wasn't the tropical paradise I'd been imagining.  Although it was mostly sunny, it rained hard on Christmas Day (I've experienced many "wet" Christmases in my lifetime in CA).  For the most part, it felt like crisp fall weather (which makes sense, since Christmas falls just a few days into winter.

Beautiful California scenery, early winter 

     But I'm getting ahead of myself.  We set off on December 19...our anniversary.  We had made arrangements to stay in Lake Havasu City, Arizona.  We honeymooned there, and had made reservations for the same room we'd stayed in back then.  Instead of the two weeks our honeymoon had been, we were only in Lake Havasu two days, but it was a blast to go back.

Above left: crossing from New Mexico into Arizona.  Above Right: Walter and I enjoying our favorite ice cream shop in Lake Havasu, Scoops.  Below: The famed London Bridge (yes the one that fell down and has the preschool game in its honor) in Lake Havasu (FYI, it was moved from London to Arizona in 1964)

     After a few relaxing days at Lake Havasu, we crossed into our home state.  It had been almost three years since we left, and I hadn't been back once!  Walter briefly flew back for a funeral in 2017.  Re-entering my home state felt like coming home again.  

     One thing that was funny was that, while we were in CA, I kept seeing California license places on the freeway and thinking, "Wow, look!  A California license plate!" and then realizing, "Wait, I'm in California!  No wonder!"  I was pleasantly surprised that gasoline was only $3.09 at most places while we were there.  While this was about a dollar more than Albuquerque's gas, I had been told rumors that it was $6 or $7 a gallon in California.  That just goes to show that we shouldn't listen to rumors!  Especially negative ones.  So, again, an expectation wasn't met...but I wasn't disappointed!

     It was a wonderful time with family and friends.  I was able to see a lot of people, but I would have loved to see so many more.  I have a lifetime of friendships in California, and I only scratched the surface in visits.  It was Christmastime, and many people had plans that precluded us being able to visit.  That was completely understandable.  I enjoyed the visits I did have.  

Lolly Miller and her daughter Harlee in Riverside.  I taught Harlee in AWANA and Sunday school for years.  She is in tenth grade now!  She played Sally in our Charlie Brown play many years ago.

I was able to meet with my cousin Rachel.  She and I had been roomates before I got married.  She is living in Yucaipa, but we met up in Palm Springs, because she was flying out of the Palm Springs airport to visit her parents in Ohio for Christmas

I met up with my former YMCA coworker Amy in Redlands.  We enjoyed some girl time (while my husband enjoyed visiting his good friend for some guy time in Costa Mesa).  Amy and I had a blast working at the Redlands Y together for several years (such as the time I accidentally started a fire when we were baking cookies with the kids!).  Our girl time involved Little Women and When Calls the Heart.  

On our way back to New Mexico we visited another of my YMCA friends, Jan, at her new home in Arizona.  Jan is a delightful sister in the Lord, and a lot of fun to be around.

     I think the most eye-opening part of the trip was going to places of deep memories for me.  I drove by my childhood home in the city of Corona, as well as my two "single adult" homes (one in downtown Riverside, the other in Yucaipa).  All of these places had so many memories of things God was doing in my life at the time.  Ways He was at work in and through me.  Ways He was speaking to me.  I was at different places than I am today.  I had learned so much from my mistakes and failures, and gloried in the triumphs and spiritual victories God used me to accomplish.  Going back and remembering brought a lot of joy.  A deep sense of purpose.  My faith was deepened through looking back at these special times and places in life.  I was tempted to stay a long time, lingering in these memories.  But in my heart, the Spirit of God seemed to be saying to me, "Remember, but don't linger."

Above left: the house i grew up in, Corona, CA (It is painted differently than it was when my family lived there).  To the right is the view of my street.  I grew up in a very jolly, friendly neighborhood, with down-to-earth neighbors who helped each other out.  I really learned a sense of community from my upbringing there.  Our neighborhood was called Butterfield Estates.  The houses were all one-story, and ranged in size from 1300-2000 square feet.  They were all very open, with spacious rooms.  We had a community pool, and a scenic greenbelt where we kids used to roll down the hills together and have picnics.

Above: Fairmont Park in downtown Riverside, right next to the house I lived in until I lost everything in the Great Recession and moved to Yucaipa out of necessity.  God did so much in both places (Riverside and Yucaipa), but the seasons looked very different from each other.  That's why I need to remember without lingering.  God might be doing something totally differently than before.  To quote CS Lewis' book Prince Caspain, "Things never happen the same way twice."

     In the Bible, God had His people put up monuments or start new holidays as reminders of ways He had worked and delivered them.  They were never to forget those experiences.  I believe the same is true for us.  We are never to forget past battles and victories.  But we're not supposed to linger in the past.  We're to remember...but not linger.  God has plans for me today, and will in the future.  Each season is precious.  On a note about seasons:  I've been in seasons in life where I stayed behind and others moved on without me.  Then, in other instances, I've been the one God moved on.  In both cases, there is initially some grief, because there is change either way.  But God has a purpose and future joy in it, if we trust Him.

     I also drove by the church we began attending when I was fifteen years old.  I had been unable to attend there the Sunday before Christmas, but still drove by later on in the visit.  The things God did there, the way He met me and ministered to me, was paramount in my life.  When we started going there, I had been so beat up in life that I was borderline suicidal and struggled with deep depression and feelings of worthlessness.  God used the pastor and loving members to reach me, and turn me into a joyful Christmas once again.  The pastor would take us teenagers out to do evangelism around town.  When I went on mission trips, that church supported me.  In my late 20's, I became the church's children's ministry director, and that was a completely exciting time of seeing God work in kids' lives (including seeing six siblings with a dad in prison come to faith, and grow in Christ).  One Christmas, my cousin Rachel and I directed a Christmas play of A Charlie Brown Christmas.  We would go Christmas caroling in the surrounding neighborhood.  We had an amazing AWANA ministry.  The memories still hang in the air.  I could feel them, remember them as if they happened earlier the same day.  It would be tempting to linger there...but again, I'm called to remember, not linger.

Below: Glen Avon Community Church.  For me, a place of miracles, redemption, and seeing God work.  Many stories started there that will have their culmination in Heaven.

     The encouraging thing is that, while we're not called to linger, the things we remember are still having eternal effects.  The ripple effect of it all is unknown to us right now, but is still going on, and in Heaven, we'll get to see everything God was really doing.  At least, I believe we will.  

     Three things made me a little nonplussed toward my home state.  The biggest is the traffic! 

Traffic in the Cajon Pass, on the 15 freeway.

 It's much worse than I remember.  I'm not sure if it got worse while we were away, or if it just feels that way because we've been in much lighter traffic (Albuquerque is heavier than I'd like, but not as bad as CA.  South Dakota had very little traffic).  Another little irritation is the fact that you have to pay for bags at stores.  If you don't want to buy the bag, the cashier will just hand you your merchandise.  It's awkward.  The final thing was that, at restaurants in California, it is now illegal for a waiter or waitress to give a customer a straw with their drink unless it is specifically requested.  Like the bag law, this is new since we left, and at first I was confused by it.  The waitress who explained it to me said, "Don't even get me started about it!"  But these things notwithstanding, I still love my home state.  I'm called to remember all God did there, but not linger.  God has things to do right now....things that will have just as many "ripple effects" into eternity!  I don't want to miss it!