My side of the street

     I recently saw a post on Facebook that shared a little story.  The gist of it went something like this:  A man went to church and forgot to turn off his cell phone.  It went off during prayer.  Everyone was really offended with him and let him know it in no uncertain terms.  He determined never to go to church again because of their harshness.  Later that same day, he went to a bar, and everyone treated him kindly and respectfully, so he spent the rest of his life going there.  The story ended with an admonishment toward Christians to watch how we act, because we're sending people to hell.

     I've heard this stuff before.  While I completely agree that we need to be kind to people, we are not responsible for anyone else's choices, nor are we responsible for anyone else's eternal destiny.  In the story above, the man made his choice.  The people at the church who were rude to him will be held responsible for being rude, but they are not responsible for him choosing to go to the bar and never return to church.  That's on him.  This story is a long list of tactics meant to vilify the church and Christians.  Unfortunately, Christians are often all too eager to accept the blame and pass on the Facebook posts.  

     The ultimate questions is this:  What did you do with Jesus Christ?  If you made Him your Savior, you have eternal life.  If not, then you have an eternity apart from God in the lake of fire.  No one else is responsible for what you do with Jesus Christ and His offer of salvation.  There will be no finger-pointing at the judgment.  No one can say, "People at church were rude," and have God accept that as a valid answer as to why they rejected Jesus Christ.  It isn't about other people.  It's about you and Jesus.

     I have enough guilt for my own sins.  I don't need guilt heaped on me by being told I'm sending people to hell.  I don't have that kind of power.  I feel strongly about this, and there is a reason.  Several years ago, in my early 20's, I had a ministry superior become very angry with me for the way I handled a situation.  This woman's anger was out of proportion to the situation.  Looking back, I can see that I could have handled things a little differently, but my heart was in the right place.  All I really needed was a little admonishment from the boss.  That isn't want I got.  I got shouted at, and accused of sending people to hell.  

     Do you want to know what had happened?  I have shared this story before, in earlier posts.  We were having our Christian Youth in Action camp at California Baptist University.  The University had a swimming pool, but one of their rules was that women had to wear one-piece swimsuits.  Several of our females students knew this, but brought bikinis anyway (testing the limits).  My superior told the girls she was going to give them "grace" and let them wear their bikinis anyway.  That's fine and dandy, but it wasn't her pool or her rules.  My superior made me take these students to the pool.  The lifeguard saw those bikinis and wouldn't let them swim.  He came down on me about it, since I was the staff present.  He asked me, "Why don't you think you have to follow our rules like everyone else?"  He was exactly right.  My superior had no business telling the girls it was okay to break the rules.  I took the girls back to my superior, who became enraged at me (as if I were the one responsible).  She told me I was judging and legalistic.  She then told the girls to try going to the pool again and see if the lifeguard would change his mind.  I absolutely refused to go back with them, and my superior told me I was prideful.  Makes perfect sense, eh?  

     Anyway, there were a lot of problems with girls dressing immodestly and breaking rules all through training.  These girls were rude and had bad attitudes in every other aspect of camp as well, not just clothing.  The last night, I gave a little impromptu talk about why it was important to obey rules.  Some of what I said was a little zealous, and I would probably reword some of it today.  However, none of it was wrong.  A lot of people liked what I said.  But my superior was furious.  That was when she told me I was responsible for sending people to hell.  She physically shook and trembled as she raged at me.  As an evangelist who wants to see people saved, I was hurt deeply by this remark.  

     I can't speak to my superior's other decisions that week.  But as for her comment that I'm sending people to hell, I have this to say.  If someone rejects Jesus, they're sending themselves to hell.  They don't need anyone's help.  If what I said in my little talk was wrong, then I'm responsible for that.  But I'm not responsible for someone's actions as a result of my talk.  If they got mad at mean, legalistic me and decided not to follow Christ, they're a big baby who needs to grow up.  It doesn't sound like they had any interest in Christ to begin with.  I have heard many people say things I disagreed with, but I didn't reject Jesus because of it.  I just decided that I disagreed with that person and left it at that.  I've had other believers make mistakes that have hurt me.  I think we all have experienced that.  We don't reject Jesus because of it.  If someone does, his faith wasn't in Jesus anyway, but in people.  

     I found it interesting that my superior wanted to show "grace" to girls who were intentionally breaking rules, but not to me, her own ministry worker, who was doing my best and maybe got overzealous.  No grace for that.  But lots of grace for intentional sin.  What's with that?

     One thing I've learned is that I need to focus on my "side of the street".  What am I responsible for?  If I do wrong, how am I responsible for making it right?  Making things right again is just as important as doing right to begin with.  If I sin against someone (even unintentionally), going back and making it right can make all the difference in the world, and bring Christ the glory.  That's all my side of the street.  My responsibility ends at that.  What the other person does is their side of the street, and I refuse to take guilt for that.  The same is true for good choices.  If I do right and someone comes to Christ as a result, it's God, not me.  I just did what was right.  I can't take guilt or credit for other people.

     I am very open to examining myself, and making things right.  I will own my choices and mistakes.  However, I will never, ever taken on guilt for other people's sin.  That's their side of the street.  I have enough on my own to deal with.  

   
     In conclusion, we are not responsible for sending anyone to hell.  We are not responsible for anyone's sin but our own.  One day, as believers, we will stand before the judgment seat of Christ and give an account.  We'll receive or lose heavenly rewards.  But our sins are gone forever because of the Blood of Jesus.  Trusting Christ is the first step to taking care of our side of the street.  No one else can do that for us, nor can we do that for anyone else.  Let's stop taking blame and start doing right.