Past Victories

     "You can't live on past victories," the conference keynote speaker told us emphatically.  "That's yesterday's news.  You need to be striving for new victories.  You can't just cling to what's already happened and expect God to be pleased with you."  He spent the next fifteen minute trying to further convince the audience of this.  We were in Honolulu, Hawaii--the most exciting location possible for this ministry conference.  I wanted to be outside exploring, not listening to this missionary rep tell me how the past was in the past.

Waikiki Beach, Honolulu.  I got this offline, but it was walking distance from our conference.

     Desire to explore Hawaii aside, I found myself inwardly rebelling against this man's speech, even as he said it.  To a point, he was right.  He spoke as a true visionary, someone always looking forward.  We need people like that to keep ministries centered, going in the right direction.  Proverbs 29:18 says, "without vision, the people perish."  I have seen churches and ministries hurting for the lack of vision.  On the other hand, I have seen people become very dismissive of what God has done to get us to where we are right now.  That isn't right either.  Isaiah 46:9-10 tell us, "Remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is none else; I am God, there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times, the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure."  Doesn't sound like God wants us to just forget the past.  What becomes of ministries when one extreme or the other is taken?  Can we strike the right balance?

     I once visited a small church in a remote desert town.  The town itself never even had 1000 people at it's height.  When I walked into this little church, I felt something was very strange.  There were all these trophies in glass cases, and plaques on the walls from different ministry events.  Several youth group Bible Bowl awards. Many ribbons and plaques from AWANA ministry over the years.  Pictures of the church's kids and youth at Bible camp.  The problem was, most of these mementos were from the 1970s and 80s (some were much older). The very newest thing I saw among this was from 1992.  I could have been a young person growing up in this church's heyday, having been a child of the 80s and an adolescent of the early 90s.  I could relate to it for that reason.  There was a world map on the wall with photographs of missionaries taped to the country where they served.  The map was very outdated (especially looking at Africa--Zambia was Northern Rhodesia, which hasn't been the case since 1964).  The pictures of the missionaries were all black and white, and clearly taken in a different era.  The Bible story books and visualized songs in the Sunday school rooms appeared to have been illustrated in the 1950's, but were in mint condition.  When I visited the adult Sunday school class, one of the men referred to the Vietnam conflict as a current event.  I had to pinch myself to see if I was in a dream, and I worried I had stepped into a time warp (I think the gentleman was referring to Afghanistan, but slipped and said Vietnam).  My red head stood out among all the white ones in the worship service (several elderly members happily pointed this out).  The praise books in the pews were copyrighted in the 80's.  Most of the songs we sang out of them that morning had been written in the 50s and 60s.  Oddly, there were about five children and even a few teenagers.  The pastor's wife--a sweet older woman who reminded me of Mrs. Claus--took the children to junior church, and had the teens helping her out as a means to disciple them as well.  Going there was something precious to me, if not confusing.  It was as if the past had been preserved.  I felt like I took a break from the present.  And yet it wasn't the same as it had actually been in the past, when those trophies had been won, when those missionaries had faithfully served on the mission field, when those camp photos were taken, when the Vietnam crisis was a current event.  What had happened?

     I believe this church went a long time with no new vision of what God was leading them to do, so they kept hanging onto past victories.  The tangible reminders of what God had done.  God working in the future was the unknown, but the past was something that could be pictured and held onto.  I'm not even criticizing all of this.  They were still being faithful, and still did have ministry going.  The pastor and his wife had a lifetime of Christian service behind them, and were still trying--with their now-limited energy--to follow the Lord's leading for the church.  There were still victories.  I have done Vacation Bible Schools in churches with absolutely no children attending on Sundays, and an older congregation who bucked any effort to step out of their comfort zone.  It is a sad thing.  It makes me think, "The glory has departed," especially when these churches had thrived in the past.

   I have seen the other extreme--the extreme the keynote speaker at the Hawaii conference was encouraging. 

     My cousin was a longtime member of one of the biggest churches in town.  They had been around for a while, but had recently built a brand-new building in an upper-class part of town.  That wasn't all they built.  They opened a Christian bookstore and a restaurant on their property.  I patronized both (the food was amazing). They started their own church sports teams.  They became their own little city, basically.  Drama (they called it "celebrative arts") became the focal point of their services, and little skits and videos took the focus over the sermon.  By my cousin's own admission, those running the celebrative arts department were spiritually immature and showy.  In the pastor's sermons, he made a lot of all or nothing statements that were quite invalidating for those of us with a different philosophy (IE: "Nobody listens to that anymore." or "Everyone's following such-and-such now."). They sang only the very latest songs.  Vacation Bible School was too traditional of a name for something as modern and cool as they were, so they called their summer program "Summer Splash" instead.  I attended a few times with my cousin (who, in fairness to her, is a very mature Christian, and loved that church, and would still be there if she hadn't moved out of state).  I was deeply offended when their skit for the day was to promote their children's ministry by mocking other ministries in town.  It was very mean-spirited and unprofessional, and used a lot of fighting words in putting others down.  I wasn't the only one offended.  I wrote a letter to the pastor about it.  He didn't reply, but his children's pastor wrote me a letter that kind of made excuses for it.  They felt children were different today than in the past, so they needed their Sunday school classes to be high tech, because kids apparently responded better to a computer than to a teacher who loves them and wants to cultivate a relationship with them.  What was the result of this ultra-contemporary church?  Well, they packed a full house, but not with mature believers.  My cousin was one of the few who really were godly.  The high tech Sunday school program failed (of course it would--kids aren't wowed by computers, they have them at home already) and had to be replaced with a more traditional curriculum (which was much more successful and well-received).  More mature believers left and joined other churches.  The bookstore and restaurant eventually folded. 

     Am I saying this church is 100% bad and wrong?  No.  No more than the little church in the desert.  Neither has compromised the truth of who Jesus is.  God can work through both, but I think both have slightly wrong priorities.  One church had no vision, and one church had only vision.  Neither one was doing what it says in Galatians 5:25, "Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."  We should neither stay behind nor run ahead of what God is doing.  We need to be seeking Him daily.  When attendance drops off or greatly increases, seek God and ask Him to give a glimpse of what He is doing, and what He wants from us.  Little desert church just kept doing what had worked before, and mega church followed marketing techniques to reach a certain demographic they wanted.  Neither is right.  We can't live on past victories, but we can't manufacture new ones either.  Only God gives victory (First Corinthians 15:57).  God gives the increase (First Corinthians 3:6).  Also, God is at work in times and ways we don't see.  Old doesn't mean something is irrelevant, but it also doesn't mean it's more godly.  New doesn't mean something is compromising, but it also doesn't necessarily make it the best thing.  First Thessalonians 5:21 says, "Test all things; hold fast to what is good."  In my experience, this has led to me keeping some tried and true things in place, but adding new elements as well. 

      How should we view past victories?  We should remember.  God instituted the Passover as a reminder of how the angel of death had "passed over" the houses with the blood on the doorposts, and freed them from Egypt (Exodus 12).  He had the Israelites set up stones at the Jordan River to commemorate how He led them through (Joshua 4).  He instituted Purim as a reminder of how He rescued the Jews from destruction (Eshter 9).  Even the rainbow is a reminder of God's promise (Genesis 9:13).  Our God wants us to remember.  So remember those victories.  They can encourage and strengthen us when we're low.  The impact they made still hangs in the air.  Remember the people who were saved in the past--they're still saved now, and Lord-willing, they're still serving the Lord somewhere, so the ripple effect of those past victories goes on into eternity.  Just because we're not at that same time and place doesn't mean God is done with it.  We were a part of the story.  Now He has a new victory for us.  In Isaiah 43:19, the Lord says, "I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness, and steams in the wasteland."  God is the one who brings it about--not our own planning and scheming.  It often happens in unlikely ways (IE: "streams in the wasteland"). The past victories were won by God, and He will win future victories.  Relying on a method (be it "this worked before" or "this is the new rage, It's gotta work!") won't cut it. 

     At this point, we have to answer the question, what is victory?  What is success?  For our ministries to be successful, we have to know the answer to this question ourselves.  What were those past victories?  Large numbers of people?  Financial excess?  Trophies at a Bible Bowl?  I would like to suggest that victories are won every time God has His way.  This can look differently in different situations.  Some things, we know from scripture.  For example, it is always God's will for the gospel to be given.  It is always God's will when someone receives Christ.  It is always God's will when His word is proclaimed and believed.  It is always God's will when people choose forgiveness.  It is always God's will when people resist temptation to sin.  These things are victories.  If these things are happening, victory is happening. 

    By thanks be to God, who giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.-First Corinthians 15:57

Friend, or Resource?

     Years ago, I had a really good friend (for purposes here, I'll refer to her as Shelley--not her real name).  Being single, college-aged girls at the time with our own apartments about three miles from each other, we did everything together.  She was a newer believer, and I was discipling her.  We studied our Bibles together, attended church and college-group together, read Christian books together, prayed together, did evangelism together.  Note the key word: Together. We also had a lot of fun adventures, such as going camping in the mountains, taking mini-road trips to San Diego or Arizona, and smaller things like getting ice cream or going roller skating.  We were BFF's before calling it BFF's was a thing (this was before texting and Facebook led to all these abbreviations I still can't always make heads or tails of).  We said we were best friends.

     On the surface, all was well.  I viewed discipling her as my purpose.  She viewed being discipled by me as her key to the next step in life.  Something was slightly amiss about both of these things.

     Shelley met the man she ended up married to quite a while before I met my husband Walter.  Being as close as we were, I had hoped we'd meet our husbands at the same time.  That seldom happens, but such is the naivety of youth.  I had had other friends who had gotten married by that point in my early 20's.  Some of them were able to continue being good friends with people, while others let everything else in life go.  I got scared of losing my friends and being left out.  In fact, when I did meet Walter, I made it a special point to stay in touch with my friends, even though my life and priorities changed.  Anyway, as soon as Shelley met this man, it was like I didn't exist anymore.  She no longer needed my ministry into her life to move her forward, because she had a bigger prize than my friendship.  She dropped me cold.  I didn't respond well to this, which led to her cutting off all contact with me.

     I was extremely hurt by this, but a woman I knew helped me see that I had been wrong in the way I viewed her.  I felt very used by Shelley after our friendship ended, but in a way, I had used her as well.  She was my sense of purpose.  In my insecurities, I viewed my validation as coming from the ministry I did.  That isn't love, it is codependency.  I was getting something out of it.  It wasn't boosting up my ego or anything like that.  It was a sense of purpose deep in my heart.  When that was gone, I no longer felt good about who I was.  That is very unhealthy.   Both Shelley and I were guilty of using each other, even though there were good and redeemable things about our friendship (and yes, I still think it was a friendship).

     People talk a lot about using each other.  Once, a crazy little boy at AWANA yelled in my face, "Everyone here is just using me!" when he didn't get his way about something.  We all got a chuckle about that.  But what does it really mean to use someone, or be used, and what does the Bible say about it?

     I would say using a person is to view them as a resource to you more than who they are as a person. Sometimes it involves playing someone for the fool, but not always.  It can be a lot more subtle, and even unintentional (such as with Shelley and me).  Everyone you meet is a resource in some way.  One of my friends is a professional hair stylist, and she offered to do my hair free of charge for my wedding.  She was a resource to me, but that isn't primarily how I saw her.  Another friend of mine works at Disneyland, and, when I lived much closer, she used to give us tickets and passes.  I tried never to take advantage or make her think I only liked her because she could get me Disney passes.  I liked her for who she was, and she happened to kindly do this for me.  I know I've helped friends at different times as well.  I love English/Language Arts, and I have tutored a lot of people in this subject, or helped them write papers.  But I know they viewed me as a friend over and above just someone to help them pass their class.  We can all help each other.  We are interdependent on each other.  But to see a person only for what's in it for you is where there's a problem.

     How can people use each other without even realizing it?  A friend of mine shared a funny story.  She was visiting a church many years ago.  As soon as she walked in the door, someone asked her, "Do you sing?" Uncertain, she said, "Yes..."  "Great!  We need a new choir director!"  Wait a minute!  They weren't seeing someone coming into their church as a person to minister to.  They saw her as a resource to meet their need.  As someone who has done a lot of children's ministry, I have sometimes felt that I'm seen as that kind of resource.  The idea "Oh, she can deal with the kids while the rest of us fellowship." That happens a lot, not just in churches, but in organizations, workplaces, and even families.  We need to be loving and cherishing each other, and within the context of that, we should be serving and helping each other.

     When Jesus walked on this earth, He was with all sorts of people.  He healed and ministered to them (Matthew 14:14).  All through the four gospels, you can see accounts of Jesus genuinely loving people.  He did have his twelve disciples.  Surely all of this gave him a sense of purpose, right?  Fulfilled Him in some way?  Not according to John 4:34.  "My food is to do the will of Him who sent me."  His food--the thing that brought Him the deepest sense of fulfillment--was to do God's will.  The people He met and served didn't define Him.  The Father did.  That way, Jesus was free to love people without expecting anything in return.  That's how we should be, letting God fulfill us deep in our hearts. The Psalmist wrote, "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone, my hope comes from Him."  (Psalm 62:1).  Serving people God's way does bring fulfillment, and we do form meaningful relationships.  Those relationships just aren't supposed to define and fulfill us.  Only God can do that.

     Okay, so, we see Jesus didn't use people.  What about the other way around?  Did He let other people use Him?  If so, isn't that a pattern that we're supposed to let people use and take advantage of us?  I've had some very manipulative people tell me this.  But that isn't true.  Let's look closer.

     We've already established that Jesus was completely unselfish in His service of others.  The people He served weren't that way, and He knew this.  He loved them anyway.  He gave of Himself, but didn't simply let them take advantage.  There were times He made Himself inaccessible (Luke 5:16, John 8:15).  There were times He needed to fill His own spiritual cup (John 17).  This should show us it's right to take care of ourselves.  It isn't spiritual to let ourselves burn out.  Also, John 10:18 gives us an interesting insight.  Jesus says that no one takes His life from Him, but that He lays it down willingly.  He didn't just let people take and take until there was nothing left.  He obeyed the Father to the point of death.  The Father was the driving force, not the people.  That's how I want to be in my relationships with others.  I want to love them the way Jesus does, giving of myself, but not being taken by them.  Withdrawing for refreshment for myself when I need it.  Not defining myself by these people, but loving them anyway.  I learned my lesson the hard way with Shelley.  But, thanks to Jesus' example, I can do better!  We all can.  Let's let God meet our needs (the needs deep in our hearts, as well as the practical needs, like a choir director for a church), and stop using people to do that for us.  People are not simply resources at our disposal.  They are humans with needs as well.  God can meet theirs and ours, and in His grace, He can use us in each other's lives.

In Your Dreams!

     Have you ever had a wild dream?  That's kind of a rhetorical question, because everybody has.  I've dreamed I was flying, swimming with dolphins, and dancing in public...in my pajamas.  More interestingly, I have met historical figures and witnessed historical events in dreams (after having read about them in history books). I think everyone has had crazy dreams like that.  Usually, dreams mean nothing important.  Often, for me, they might relate to what I was thinking about before I went to sleep.  Some people attribute dreams to what they ate.  There is a lot I don't know about the science behind our dreams.  That's not my point here.

     What does the Bible tell us about dreams?  Is there a time to take them seriously, or should they all be dismissed as meaningless?  

     In both the Old and New Testaments, people had dreams.  The first dream recorded in scripture is found in Genesis chapter 20.  In this dream, God warns a man named Abimelek.  This man was lied to by Abraham.  Abraham, in fear, had told everyone that Sarah (his wife) was actually his sister.  He was scared of being killed for her.  Due to this lie, Abimelek took Sarah for himself.  God warned him in a dream that Sarah was Abraham's wife.  Abimelek was horrified by this realization, and God acknowledged his integrity in acting without knowledge.  In this instance, God was giving someone a chance to make the right choice.  This was how God was speaking to him.  It makes sense.  The Bible was not recorded (not even the Torah), and believers in the Lord were not consistently indwelt by the Holy Spirit.  Dreams were a way God connected with people.  This certainly was not the only time.

     Later on in Genesis (and two generations later), Jacob has a dream (Genesis 28).  Jacob had been a dishonest, selfish schemer, and had made a mess of things in his family.  At this point, he was fleeing from his brother's wrath.  Even though he was raised in a family of God's promise, and even though he was God's chosen one to continue the family line for the Messiah (Jesus), Jacob didn't appear to know God or have any relationship with God at this point.  Then, while sleeping in the desert with a rock for a pillow, he sees a stairway to Heaven, with angels going up and down.  From the top, God spoke to him, reiterating the promise He had previously made to Abraham.  That experience touched Jacob's life profoundly.  He was never the same again.  He concluded that God must live there, and he renamed the place Bethel.  God knew how to reach down to him in a way he would understand. 

     Jacob's son Joseph was well-known for his dreams, which ended up coming true (Genesis 37ff).  He even interpreted dreams for others, with God's help (Genesis 40).  All of these dreams had meanings for the individuals involved, and led to God working things out for Joseph and for His people, continuing along the plan for the Messiah to come through their family (although Joseph wasn't in Jesus' direct lineage, but he was the brother of the heir, and part of Israel). 

     There are many other times like this in the Old Testament.  Many of the dreams in the Bible are prophecies for the future, either the coming of the Savior (which was future for them, but the past for us), or things that are still in our future, such as the end times and our eternity with the Lord.  Examples are found in the book of Daniel.

     The New Testament has dreams as well. In Matthew 2, baby Jesus' life was in danger from the madman King Herod.  God warned the wise men in a dream not to return to Pharoah (they had promised earlier to give him Jesus' whereabouts, as Pharaoh claimed he wanted to worship him too), and then God warned Joseph (Mary's husband, Jesus' earthly father-figure) in a dream to flee to Egypt to avoid Herod's wrath.  Very important dreams, and fortunately, both the wise men and Joseph obeyed God. 

     In the book of Acts (after Christians had the Holy Spirit), God still used dreams to an extent, but we also see God using the inner urging of the Holy Spirit.  In Acts 16, the Holy Spirit prevented Paul and Silas from going to Asia, and then God sent them a dream of a Macedonian man, thus telling them to go to Macedonia instead.  We see this dream working hand-in-hand with the Holy Spirit inside them. 

     Many believers I know say that with the completion of the New Testament, God ceased using dreams, miracles, or any sort of "sign" manifestations.  While I do believe the Bible is the be-all and end-all, I don't think anything is beyond God's ability.  If He wants to use a dream, or anything else, He surely can.  However, all of this is subject to the Bible, not the other way around.  What I see in the Bible is a very personal God, who communicated with people direction, not only to accomplish His will, but to have a relationship with these people.  He hasn't changed.  He wants a loving relationship with us today as well.  He primarily speaks through the Bible, with the inner testimony of the Holy Spirit illuminating the Bible for us.  Unsaved people cannot understand God's word (Second Corinthians 2:14).  Not only does the Holy Spirit help us understand God's word, but also applies it individually to our lives.  This is where some have concerns, and we do need to be careful.  The Bible has one meaning, but almost innumerable applications.  God can use a passage I've read a hundred times to convict me of something I'm doing in my life.  Obviously, another believer reading this passage won't get that same application about it, because their situation is different.  The meaning doesn't change.  It can't.  But the individual circumstances in my life, known by the Holy Spirit, can be addressed by the Bible under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  A Bible camp I used to go to growing up used the phrase, "Taught by the Bible, led by the Spirit."  I think that sums up the relationship between the believer, the Bible, and the Holy Spirit. 

     Having said all of that, I believe it is possible for a Bible-reading, Spirit-guided Christian to have God speak to them in a dream.  In Joel 2:28, we are told, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions. This passage is referenced by Peter in Acts 2:17.  First Thessalonians 5:2 says, "test all things, hold fast to what is good."  As I said, a dream must be subject to the Word of God.  Also, as I mentioned at the beginning of this, dreams can be caused by any number or things, such as what someone ate before bed, what he or she was thinking about, etc.  Sometimes, dreams aren't necessarily from God, but are the human mind working out problems.  We need to be careful.

     I have had a handful of dreams in my life that were significant.  One of them was when I was eleven years old.  In this dream, I invited a friend of mine to come to AWANA (our church's Wednesday night Bible club) and she came.  What was significant about this was that, in real life, this friend's family didn't allow her to do anything Christian with me.  They had their own religious beliefs.  However, this dream had been so vivid, and I was struck with a conviction that I needed to invite her to come to AWANA with me that night.  I went down the street to her house after school and asked if she wanted to come.  I didn't know what would happen, but I felt like I was on a mission for God.  She asked her mom, and her mom said, "I guess it wouldn't hurt to let you go once."  My dream came true!  She came with me that night.  She seemed to like it.  She was never allowed to go again, but she heard the gospel.  Years later, she told another friend of ours, "I want to go back to that church one day, because they believe the right way to get to Heaven."  A seed was definitely planted.  Was this dream from God?  I believe it was. 

     In her book The Hiding Place, Corrie ten Boom shares about how she often had a sort of dream/vision about being taken away from their town in a vehicle.  This came to her several times.  Finally, when she and her sister (and others involved) were arrested for helping Jews escape Holland during the Holocaust, she realized that was what the dream had been about.  Her experience being driving away was identical to the dream. 

Corrie ten Boom, a true heroine of the Lord

     Several years ago for my birthday, a friend gave me a video about "how to interpret dreams."  Her heart was in the right place, but I don't believe there's a formula.  If God is speaking to a believer, whether it be through the inner prompting of the Holy Spirit, a scripture that "jumped out" at them, another Christian saying something to them, or a dream (or any other way God chooses to speak to them), God knows how to speak so that the person knows what He's telling them.  That dream from when I was eleven, I knew God was calling me to invite my friend to AWANA.  God can get through to us.  You'll notice that the dreams in the Bible that needed interpretation were in the Old Testament, when those who dreamed them didn't have the Holy Spirit.  In the New Testament, especially in Acts, we see believers knowing exactly what God is telling them.  

     I think one of the reasons dreams should be taken very carefully is because they are so easy to question later.  I had another very vivid dream (which I won't go into at the moment), and it led to action on my part.  This dream affected me deeply, and might have even had prophetic elements.  However, you can see I question that, because I use the phrase "might have".  It's easy to question things later.  That is why we need to make sure the Bible is our guide, illumined by the Holy Spirit in our hearts.  With this, dream on.

     

True, Honorable, Right, Pure, Lovely

     When I was in junior high, our youth leaders used to urge us to "think THRPL" (pronounced to rhyme with purple).  The letters THRPL stood for True, Honorable, Righteous, Pure and Lovely, taken from Philippians 4:8, which says, Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.  This passage urges us to focus on true, honorable, right, pure, lovely things..  Proverbs 23:7 tells us, For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.  Our thought lives are so important.  They determine so many things.  That is why we are told in Second Corinthians 10:5 to take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.  The way we think is so important.  Our thoughts are the beginning of a progression.  As the saying goes, thoughts become words, which become actions, which become habits, which become character, which becomes your destiny.  Even though this saying isn't literally out of the Bible, the idea is.  This is why God puts so much stock into what we think.  

     I have become a sucker for online stories. Not gossip about celebrities.  I mean funny or interesting stories, such as "Teachers share about the worst parent-teacher conference they ever had," or "Waiters share about their rudest customers." Things like that.  They're often funny.  They usually have some sort of grabber on Facebook, the start of an intriguing story, and I simply "have" to click on it to read the rest, as well as the other similar stories.  One day, though, it dawned on me that all of these stories, funny or relatable though they were, were all negative.  The worst parent-teacher conferences.  The rudest customers. Other, similar things like that.  I mean, a good story (true or fiction) needs conflict and an antagonist of some kind.  But why is the focus negative?  And worse, why do I take the bait and read these negatively-rooted stories?  

   

     I'm not a proponent of "positive thinking" the way some promote it.  However, I do believe Philippians 4:8 gives us a biblical basis for looking at the good and beautiful things in life.  Things that bring us closer to God.  Earlier in the book of Philippians (2:14), we are told to Do all things without complaining and disputing.  Having a negative, complaining attitude isn't right.  Do we sometimes need to discuss negative things?  Yes.  They're part of life.  They're reality.  Sometimes we can laugh at ourselves through these experiences and find them funny.  Sometimes sharing about our bad experiences helps someone else.  Often, you need to share the negative part of a story in order to get to the good part, the redemptive ending.  I'm not talking about being positive in a fake way.  But should out-and-out negativity be our entertainment?  

    How many people would read stories online with grabbers such as, "Teachers remember their most successful students?" or"Cashiers share about their best customers."  Perhaps fewer than the number reading the negative stories, given our penchant for the negative.  I think its worth a try, though.  I am going to write three of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me (of course, Jesus dying for my sins would be number one, and really, all the things I'm about to share originated with God).  

     Sweet Note.  Growing up (actually, until I was twenty-nine and realized I did this), I had this really bad habit of ostracizing myself, then feeling left-out when people didn't go out of their way to come over and include me.  I didn't always do this, but it was a habit sometimes, especially if I was already feeling insecure or moody.  I remember one time, in first grade, I was sitting by myself in children's church.  Three other girls were sitting together in the front row.  I wanted so much to be invited over to sit by them.  They were my friends.  I had been to their birthday parties.  They had spent the night at my house.  Our families were all friends.  There was no reason for me not to go over and sit with them.  I didn't need an invitation.  But I was in a melancholic mood, and was by myself in the back row.  Under my breath, I kept saying "Oh, brother."  For some reason, that made me feel better.  Anyway, the next Sunday, these same three girls sat together, and again, I sat by myself in the back row, feeling left out (for no real reason, but, as I shared, I didn't see I did this until I was twenty-nine, which was twenty-three years after this particular experience).  After class was dismissed, I turned to walk out.  

     "Janelle, wait up," one of  the girls called after me.  I turned to see little Jackie coming after me.  Jackie was a sweet blonde little girl, a few months younger than me. She was in kindergarten in the same Christian school in which I was in first grade.  

     "Hi Jackie," I said.  

     "This is for you," Jackie told me, handing me an envelope.  Our parents picked us up at the door, and there wasn't time to talk.  I opened the envelope in the car, and in sloppy, kindergarten writing, was my name, the words I love you and her name.  My heart melted.  She had seen I felt left out, and had done something to make me feel better.  

     I have never forgotten Jackie's kindness, and I often pray for her, even though we lost touch years ago (her father took a ministry position in a different state).  

          Investment.  When I was single, I had moved from my hometown to a smaller (less expensive) town about thirty miles away. One way I tried to get involved was joining a women's Bible study.  It was a very mixed experience.  I was brought into the leadership, and taught the junior high Bible study (women brought their kids to the study with them, so there was a need for kids and teen classes as well).  I worked closely with the elementary (1st-6th grade) teacher.  We did not work well together, and I had her daughter in my class, which made it more difficult.  I taught the 7th-8th graders for two years.  There was a lot of joy involved, but working with this woman was very hard.  To be honest, it became a power struggle a lot of the time.  She eventually lied about me to leadership, who kicked me out of the study without talking to me.  So, here I was, in a town where I didn't feel at home, ousted from a ministry I had really loved, humiliated by the Christian community (it was a relatively small town, so the story and lies spread).  I felt like I had hit rock bottom.  Then, I got a phone call.  A very sweet woman from the Bible study, Kim, reached out to me.  She invited me to attend a different ministry called Celebrate Recovery.  I had heard of it, but thought it was just for recovering addicts.  Kim explained it was for everyone with "hurts, habits or hangups," which basically includes everyone.  I almost didn't go, but there was something very redemptive about this invitation.  Here I had been unjustly kicked out of a Bible study, and now I was being graciously invited into a new one.  A voice deep in my spirit said Go! I went to CR with Kim.  I immediately connected with very real Christian people who were open about their struggles, and willing to be honest.  There were no power struggles.  No fake spirituality (which, sadly, I encountered at the other Bible study).  Kim became my sponsor (mentor) through this biblical accountability program.  I was able to get healing from the hurtful Bible study situation, and also from other ministry-related hurts in my life.  We had our Bible study group on Monday nights.  Kim met with me on Wednesdays, just to talk.  On Fridays, we had our open share group, where people shared testimonies and we could talk in groups about our failures and triumphs from the past week.  So I had three days out of the week where I was being invested in by Kim and others...and just by sharing, I was investing in them as well.  That was an amazing time.  Kim had been involved for many years in this ministry.  I found out later that she had really felt like she had gotten what she needed from it and was about to step out and involve herself in other things, but God had told her to invest in me as I went through it.  She was there for me.  She made it the most amazing year I had ever had, and at the end of it, I met my husband.  I indirectly met him through CR and through Kim's mentoring me.  God used all these precious people in my life, but especially Kim.  She gave three days out of her week for me in those days (not to mention late-night phone calls).  That is something I'll never forget.  It also truly helped me make that town my home...before I got married and moved away from it.  I now feel as much at home about that town as I do about the town where I grew up.  

     

     Church Support.  When I was eighteen, I went on a mission trip to Africa.  I came from a small church, probably about 120 people at the time.  Everyone knew each other well.  I was an AWANA leader, and knew the kids especially well.  Anyway, I was so excited about this trip, and this little church was incredibly supportive of me.  No one there was rich.  Some were downright poor.  But they did everything for me, from praying, to organizing car wash fundraisers, to writing me encouraging notes.  With everyone involved together, I was able to raise over double the amount needed, which enabled me to go on another missionary trip the next summer to Boston and even pay for missionary training school the year after that when I went full-time into the ministry.  The Sunday before I left for the trip, the pastor called me to the front, which I wasn't expecting.  I was presented with a bouquet of roses, and a T-shirt signed by everyone.  People wrote some of the nicest things to me.  I still have it.  That ended up being a very tough summer.  But every time I felt like despairing, I would think about my church family back home praying for me.  When people I was with tried to distort reality and make me feel terrible about who I was, I remembered my church and how they loved me and wrote such kind things to me.  One of the children I taught in AWANA wrote me a letter, which I didn't receive until I got back to missionary headquarters.  Her mother added a note, explaining that they had been making cookies, and the daughter had wanted to send some to me in Africa, but the mom knew that wasn't practical, so they wrote me the letter instead.  That touched my spirit so deeply, and made me feel like a victor instead of a victim.  When I actually got back home, I was showered with love, which did a lot to bring some healing.  Life has gone on for that church.  Most people are living in different areas now, going to different churches.  But we are still that body.  I can't wait to see them all in heaven.