Redeeming Love

Redeeming Love, owned by Universal Pictures

      "I'm going to let you decide," My mom told me seriously.  "You're a Christian young adult now, and you need to make your own choices."  

     I felt an unexpected honor, and yet I knew I wasn't quite an adult yet.  I was sixteen.  The way my mom saw it, I needed to start making my own decisions about things, including what convictions I held.  The question facing me was: would I go see the hit movie that was in theaters?  This movie was about a sinking ship, and the title starts with a T, in case you're wondering which movie I'm referring to.  The theme song, performed by Celine Dion, dominated every radio station.  By osmosis, I had learned every word to the song, without even trying.  

photo owned by Vogue

     Everyone loved this movie.  Many strong Christian friends had recommended I see it.  However, I had learned some things about it, including that this movie had unmarried characters having sex with each other, as well as nudity.  Sometimes, those things can be overlooked in the overall scheme of the movie.  Some people, who are godly and would never condone such things in real life, are able to separate that and still enjoy the movie.  It's a matter or conscience, and I make no judgment at all.  However, I was at an impressionable time in my life, and I had the feeling this was more than I could handle at the time.  It wasn't that it was evil, or that others who liked it were wrong.  As I said, I make no such judgments.  I just knew I couldn't handle it.  I had had a boyfriend in junior high, whom God had removed from my life (it was sort of an "unequally yoked" situation, in addition to life changes separating us).  For me specifically (meaning I do not put this on other people), I felt led not to date or get into another romantic relationship until I was eighteen and out of high school.  Watching overly passionate things were a stumbling block to me during that time in my life.  I had a very strong sex drive, but did not have a husband to exercise that with, so seeing such things was really hard on me.  Knowing this about myself, I concluded it wasn't in my best interest to see that movie.  That is how I became the only sixteen-year-old in Riverside County not to see Titanic.  Even one of my good friends who was two years younger than me saw it, and I questioned my decision, but every time I prayed about it, the same answer came back to me.  For me, that movie wasn't God's plan for me at that time.  Maybe I was weak in areas the others were strong, and it didn't affect them the way it would me.  I still haven't seen it, although I don't really feel it would be a problem now.  I'm just not particularly interested.  It's not the cool new movie, and I'm not sixteen anymore, so I don't really care if I miss out on cool movies!  

     I recently did go and see a new movie.  I've been happy that in the last two decades, Christian movies have come a long way.  I love seeing Christian films succeed in theaters.  I think my favorite is still Facing the Giants (2006).  Naturally, I was excited to hear that the Francine Rivers novel Redeeming Love was being made into a movie.  If you are not familiar, this is a Christian novel, based on the book of Hosea, only set in 1850 gold rush California.  The story goes that the virtuous farmer, Michael Hosea, falls for and marries a prostitute.  From here, there will be spoilers, so be warned.

     This is not my favorite Christian book, and it's not even my favorite by Francine Rivers (though it is her most well-known book).  If you're really interested in getting into her writing, I recommend And the Shofar Blew.  But anyway, the theme of Redeeming Love is, as the title implies, redemption.  This story covers the depths of hurt and desperation felt by the character of Angel (the prostitute-turned-wife).  Of course, that isn't her real name.  Her real name is Sarah.  She's had a rough road, being the illegitimate child of an extramarital affair, having her father reject her, and having her mother go into prostitution in order to support them.  When her mother dies, Sarah becomes a prostitute herself, going by the moniker Angel.  Her story is rough.  Some people's are.  Art imitates real life, and that is often how God's grace is shown, so I do not condemn Francine Rivers or the makers of the movie for portraying these heavy things.  Life hurts sometimes.  People who have been used and abused might feel some validation from these aspects of the story.  

     There were some small differences between the book and the movie, but I'm going to critique the overall story, and not really criticize any changes made by the movie.  There are enough people doing that.

A still from Redeeming Love, picture owned by Universal Pictures

     The story is based on the biblical story of Hosea.  Hosea was a prophet and a godly man who was called by God to marry the harlot Gomer.  This was a depiction of Israel's relationship with God.  However, 1850's California is very far removed from Old Testament Israel.  1850's California is decidedly after the Bible was complete, and the Apostle Paul had written Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? (Second Corinthians 6:14).  God will never lead someone to violate the commands of scripture.  This being the case, God would never lead a Christian to marry a non-Christian, as Michael Hosea did.  All allegories break down at some point, and this one certainly does.  It is still a powerful picture, but I think it could give the wrong message, such as the idea of marrying an unbeliever to convert or change them.  That is such a dangerous message.  This is not saying God can't lead someone to love and marry someone with a difficult past, or with baggage.  We all have that.  But the way it is portrayed in this story is unbiblical and unhealthy.  I knew someone who has based her marriage on Beauty and the Beast, and has stayed in an abusive marriage because she believes she's supposed to bring out the prince within.  She married him knowing what he was, but determined to be Belle to his Beast.  That's not right.  We need to be careful with the messages we feed ourselves and others.  Dating or marrying someone to bring them to Jesus, or into a healthier life, rarely works the way we hope.  Someone has to choose to change because they want to, not because we're pressuring them.  We cannot control them.  We cannot change them.  Marriage should be entered into with the expectation that this person is who they are, and we accept them fully as that.  If they grow and change, they grow and change, but that isn't something we should bank on or try to manipulate.  

     This story (both the book and the movie) portray Michael Hosea as pure and good.  He shows Angel/Sarah the grace she has never known her whole life, and it confuses and confounds her.  Her own guilt and shame cause her to repeatedly leave him.  The first several times, he goes after her and redeems her.  The final time, he says she has to choose to come back, which she eventually does, after she experiences her own personal redemption.  The idea of redemption is shown strongly throughout.

     A big problem I have with this movie is the amount of sensuality.  I am a happily married woman, and it was a bit much for me.  I can't even imagine watching it as a teenager or single woman.  It would have been a big stumbling block to me.  I am shocked it only had a PG-13 rating.  The sex scenes (including married sex) were explicit and left very little to the imagination.  These scenes were not quick either.  They lingered, and showed a lot of both male and female bodies.  I think they could have gotten the same idea across without being so extreme.  You can be romantic without being sex-crazed.  A film can even indicate that characters are intimate without becoming so graphic.  There was a lot of nudity in the movie as well.  This is somewhat understandable, as the story is about a prostitute.  But it was a bit beyond what was necessary.  This movie pushed the envelope.  As I said, I still have not seen Titanic, but from what I actually know, Redeeming Love can easily give Titanic a run for its money.  The naked bodies of these attractive actors in their 20's could be a stumbling block to many.  The review from Focus on the Family suggested that those who have struggled with porn addictions shouldn't see this movie.  Read Focus on the Family's full review here.

     Christian movies have come a long way, but this one pushed the envelope.  I wasn't sure if they were trying to compete with the latest sex story by having one with just as much sex and violence (yes, there was graphic violence too) but with a redemptive ending, or if they just got too realistic for their own good, but it was a little much for me (as a married woman), and I definitely believe it would have been a stumbling block to sixteen-year-old me.  I can't in good conscience recommend it to my friends, especially not to those who are single but truly longing for marriage and waiting on the Lord in this area of life.  Song of Solomon 8:4 urges us not to stir up love until the right time.  This movie will leave many burning with passion.  (First Corinthians 7:9).  

     Life is hard.  Ministering to others often leads us out of our comfort zone.  Maybe you're like me.  My mind rarely wants to go beyond PG, but sometimes, God brings people across our paths who desperately need His love, and they have been horrific places we can't even imagine.  This requires us to lose a little innocence.  Jesus did that when He left Heaven and came to this sin-sick earth.  I hasten to add that I'm not so sure I'd say Jesus was "innocent" prior to coming to earth, but you get the idea that He left a perfect and good place in order to come to this earth.  We do know He learned while He was here, and experienced everything we did, only without sin (Hebrews 4:15), and He can now be our Great High Priest (Hebrews 4:14).  He carried all our sin-induced sorrows (Isaiah 53:4).  He enables us to give His love to those who need Him.  I do not think watching this movie is necessarily a calling of God.  Love the "Angels" God brings across your path--just don't watch them have sex!

     In conclusion, you will have to make your own decision about whether or not to see Redeeming Love, just as I did about Titanic many years ago.  I hope the thoughts I have shared help you make an informed decision, and provide food for thought about ministry, Christian films, and temptation in all of our lives.  

Safety in Numbers

      "All the moms are really upset you talked about that last week," Amber (not her real name) told me.  "We don't believe in that.  We all disagree with what you're doing."  

      I felt alarmed, and my chest felt heavy.  I hated to have people upset with me, and was especially alarmed to have offended the mothers of the students I was working with.  "Well then, I'm going to go make it right with each of them.  I'll call them each up and apologize."

     I saw the slightest panic on Amber's face, but she quickly smoothed it away.  "Oh no.  Don't do that.  I talked to them and told them you're just naive and didn't mean it, and I think it's okay."

     I was beyond annoyed with Amber's personal remarks (which were a constant occurrence), but something about her insistence that I shouldn't apologize struck me as odd.  If I had done wrong, why shouldn't I apologize?  She truly didn't want me talking to the other women.  

     I was involved in a community Bible study.  Because the Bible study met from 9am-Noon, most of the women who attended were either senior citizens, or home-school moms.  I was the lone working woman in the group.  I was an employee of the YMCA at the time, and I worked a split shift, which made the Bible study perfect for me, time-wise.  I had been asked to teach the junior highers.  These were all home-schooled children.  I very quickly grew to love my group of young people.  They were bright, kind, and fun-loving.  Most of them had a heart for the Lord, and diving into God's word with them was a joy.  However, one aspect of this ministry was very complicated.

     Amber was the teacher of the elementary class.  She and I had our students together for parts of the day, and then separated for the study time.  Many women I count as dear friends were very close with Amber, and remain so to this day.  By their accounts, Amber is a wonderful person with many good qualities.  However, she and I just didn't connect well at all.  The word "frenemy" could well sum up our relationship in this ministry.  

     The previous week, our study time had gotten off track, and we had wandered into the topic of spiritual warfare.  Everything said was biblical (based on Ephesians 6), but perhaps a little vivid if we'd had younger listeners (which we didn't).  As it was, these kids were all seventh-and-eighth graders.  Amber's group wasn't with us at the time this discussion took place.  I figured my students could handle it.  But I also realized I had gotten off track, and I got us back into the lesson.  Now, a week later, I was being confronted by Amber that I had "traumatized" her daughter (who was in my group).  Amber could have called me any time during the week, but she waited until I was surrounded by others to confront me (which violates Jesus' directions for confrontation in Matthew 18).  

     Having been raised to apologize and ask for forgiveness when I offended someone, I didn't heed Amber's words, and I reached out to the mothers of my students.  Not only were none of them offended with me, but a few were even grateful I had brought up the subject of spiritual warfare.  "They need to know about this!" one mom told me seriously.  None of them had even known we had touched on that subject.  Amber had implied that all the mothers came to her complaining about me, when, in reality, they didn't even know about it!  

     I am certainly not defending the fact that I got off topic in Bible study.  I am not defending the fact that I talked about a subject that was a little scary to one of the students.  I should have been more careful to stay on track.  But I discovered that what I had done wasn't as disastrous as Amber had made it seem.  

     This post isn't about Amber, spiritual warfare, or that situation with the Bible study.  I started with this story to illustrate the idea of people trying to gain power over us by using other people.  Let's isolate some of that for a minute.  Here I had someone dislike something I had said.  She was within her right to disagree with me, and talk to me about it.  If it was that big of a problem for her, she would have called me during the week.  It clearly wasn't important to her.  Instead, she waited all week, then approached me very combatively, and told me how offended they all were with me.  She didn't speak for herself.  She included other people in it, without them really feeling that way at all, or even knowing about what had happened.  She used words like We and They, instead of I and Me.  When I broached the subject of apologizing, she quickly tried to steer me away from that.  Why?  She didn't want me to call her bluff and find out that the other moms weren't mad at me.  She wanted to keep the illusion of power.  She wanted to be the voice of everyone.  

     The truth is, if she had contacted me and shared her concern, from herself, I would have listened.  I would have cared.  I would have apologized, and been more careful in the future.  I care about individuals.  Amber and her daughter were important enough to me without them needing to act as if other people were also offended.  For reasons I can only guess at, Amber chose not to speak for herself, but instead built a fortress around herself, constructed of other people.  My assumption is that this was done out of insecurity on her part.  She gave her point more power, and made me feel outnumbered and condemned.  None of these other people even know that they were being pitted against me.  It made me feel badly at first, until I verified the truth.  

     I got my power back by talking to these other women.  I learned the truth.  As Jesus said, the truth will set you free. (John 8:32).  

     Have you ever had someone do that to you?  Try to make their point stronger by including other people who may or may not have been involved?  How did it make you feel?  I once had a very overpowering boss tell me that everyone else was doing a good job in a particular area, but I wasn't.  It made me feel heartsick, because I was doing the best that I could.  A lot of the results this boss wanted were dependent upon other people besides myself.  Remembering my experience with Amber, I decided to test the boss' line out, and I asked my coworkers if they ever struggled with this particular aspect of our job the way I did.  Every single one of them related to my experience.  They had similar results to mine.  The boss was only using them to make me feel isolated.  For all I know, he could have been telling them I was doing this great job and using me to make them feel insufficient.  I think his idea was to motivate me to do better.  What he actually did was discourage all of us, but we felt better once we talked about it.  

     You've heard the phrase There is safety in numbers, right?  Well, that's the truth.  We need each other, especially when people try to manipulate us like this.  Watch out for people who can't simply speak for themselves, but instead use phrases such as:

     *Everyone says you're...

     *We all think... 

     *I was talking to so-and-so, and we decided you...

     I knew a pastor's wife who literally destroyed her husband's church by doing this.  She would gossip about a church member to another.  The person to whom she was gossiping would listen politely, but uncomfortably, not contributing anything to the conversation.  Then, the pastor's wife would go to the person she had been talking about and say, "So-and-so I and were just talking, and we were saying that you..."  She took delight in complicating relationships between others.  Ultimately, that church closed down because this woman drove everyone off.  This is tragic, and it is evil.  

     Make sure you're not using these phrases either.  Be strong and brave with your words.  Speak the truth boldly and kindly.  Be humble but confident.  You don't need other people to strengthen what you have to say.  It's very important to use I and me, rather than we or they.  God's word urges us toward courage.  Joshua 1:9 not only encourages this kind of confidence, but also gives the reason why we can be brave: Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.  We are also told biblically to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).  People who have to be misleading by adding other people to what they're saying in order to make you feel isolated are not being loving.  They are furthering their own agenda.  Watch out for that.  It is a form of gaslighting, which I have covered in several different posts in this blog.   

     Individuals are not the only ones who do this.  News media outlets use a false display of people to misrepresent the truth as well.  If what you are hearing doesn't sound right, check it out.  Talk with other people.  That is where social media has made a big difference.  People can speak their mind on things, and it's harder for the news outlets to control the narrative.  This is also why so many people end up in Facebook jail...

     During a particular election, my candidate won.  At the time, I was working for a major university.  The day after the election, all employees got an email from the University President, saying that no one was happy with the election results, and if people were really struggling with their candidate's loss, they could come receive counseling from the university's psychology department.  First of all, people need to grow up.  No one has ever offered me counseling when votes didn't go the way I wanted.  But more to the point, did you catch what they did?  They made the bold statement that no one was happy with the election result.  Obviously this wouldn't be true.  No election has everyone happy, or everyone unhappy.  Some people got what they wanted, and others did not, so saying that is transparently incorrect.  Secondly, though, it also made those who were happy with the outcome feel in the minority, and outnumbered (and if they won the election, they were obviously not in the minority!).  That was a very manipulative way to word that email, and I would have expected much more professionalism (or at least more subtlety) than that!  We need to watch stuff like this.  We should be seeking the truth, and exposing deception wherever we find it.  Second Timothy 2:15 urges us to be ...rightly dividing the word of truth.  

     Every time someone gives you something misleading, whether it is a suspicious news report or a personal confrontation, check it out.  The tendency is to feel sad, and isolate yourself, feeling left out and alone.  Resist that.  Find out the truth.  Go to the people and get the facts.  Align yourself with people who speak the truth.  Remember what Proverbs 11:14 says,  in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.  

     Most of what I am talking about is how to avoid letting liars manipulate you with misleading statements.  However, when we think about the truth, we need to go even deeper.  Jesus Christ is the truth (John 14:6).  His word is truth (John 17:17).  First John 1:6 reminds us how we need to be walking with the Lord if we are going to be people of truth: If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.  The very first step in any situation is to make sure you are right with the Lord, walking with Him.  Then, go to other truth tellers!  After all, the truth will set you free!  

     

Into the Truth

     Over the week between Christmas and News Years, I have been listening to a podcast.  The title of this podcast is: I Pray You Put This Journal Away.  Some important things are brought up, that I think should be discussed.  I'm going to react to it, but don't particularly recommend it.  You'll see why as you read my interaction with it, but a basic additional reason that I'll share now is that the speakers were not very well prepared, and used a lot of filler words, such as "like" and "ya know" while groping for what to say, and it was hard to really listen to that.  That is just a mechanics thing, though.  I also didn't like all the profanity used (thought most of it was bleeped out).  If you wish to listen, that is up to you.  You can look it up, but because I don't recommend it, I'm not including the link this time.  

     It is a husband and wife talking about their journey in life.  This couple is about a decade younger than I am (they were children in the 90's, teens in the 2000's--whereas I was a child in the 80's and a teen in the 90's).  The thing that made this podcast interesting is that the husband grew up as friends with the Duggar family (formerly famous, currently infamous family in northwest Arkansas).  If you are not familiar, the Duggars are a fundamentalist family who have 19 children.  They formerly had their own reality television show.  On their show, their life was portrayed as unadulterated wholesomeness.  To be honest, during the years the show was popular (late 2000's and early 2010's), I never really felt comfortable with it.  They espouse themselves to be conservative Christians, which I do as well, but their convictions are pushed to some extreme measures that would never have been part of my life.  What struck me about them at the time was the control they exercised over their adult children's lives.  I didn't really watch the show, but I knew of it, and I knew many people really liked and admired them.  

photo owned by TLC

     I want to clarify that I am not picking on anyone's convictions of how they live out their faith.  People are free to do as they believe they should.  I am not mocking or belittling the Duggars for having different convictions than I do.  I just didn't like the way the Duggars and their followers seemed to try to define Christianity or Conservatism by their own standards.  I have always considered myself to be a Conservative Christian, but as a single woman, I owned a small house, had a college degree and a career.  When I met my husband, we dated without parental supervision.  These things are all very different from what the Duggars presented as the right way to do life and relationships.  I knew people (Duggar wannabe's) who considered me to be very liberal.  That was frustrating.  Also, the Duggars consider themselves to be Baptists, which I am as well, and yet my experiences as a Baptist are very different than what they have expressed.  Critics of the Duggars' extremism make comments like, "Baptists are an extreme hate-group," thinking that the Duggar's brand of Baptist is the entirety of the denomination, when in reality, most Baptists are nothing like what is being depicted by the Duggars.  I resented the way they hijacked these things and gave everyone the impression that this was what it means to be Christian, home-schooled, Baptist, or Conservative.  In some aspects, I also consider myself a fundamentalist Christian, in that my faith goes back to the fundamentals.  Fundamentalists used to be those of us who believed in the inerrancy or scripture.  Now, thanks to people like the Duggars, fundamentalists are people who don't let women wear pants, and other such rules.  The focus has totally changed, to the point that I am very careful about referring to myself as a Fundamentalist.  I'm definitely an Evangelical Christian, but by the definition of Fundamentalist given in this podcast, I am definitely not a Fundamentalist.  Worth noting, some of the Duggar's children have moved away from their extreme beliefs as married adults.  Most notably, their daughters, Jill and Jinger, and their husbands, are living what most would consider "normal" Christian lives, more similarly to the way I live.  

     In 2015, their facade of perfection was shattered when the sins of the oldest Duggar child, Josh, became public.  Josh had molested his sisters in the past, and, as of that point in 2015, was addicted to pornography and was actively cheating on his wife Anna.  My heart truly went out to her.  This was how the family went from being famous to infamous.  Josh professed to be very sorry, and apparently got some sort of treatment and counseling.  However, less than a month ago, Josh Duggar was found guilty of child pornography charges.  He will be in prison for a very long time.  This so-called sweet, wholesome, home-schooled boy who appeared to do everything right has been into some very evil things for a very long time.  He is finally getting justice.  It just goes to show you can have all sorts of man-made rules and do everything "right" by those standards, and yet fail miserably where it really counts.  He didn't kiss his wife until their wedding, and yet he cheated on her after marriage, then went on to take part in child exploitation and abuse.  It strongly reminds of Jesus' words to the Pharisees in Matthew 23:24, You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.  

     Anyway, that was some background there.  I'm not really here to discuss the Duggars (if you are interested, there is a lot of info out there, but that isn't my purpose here).  This podcast done by a former friend of the Duggars was very interesting.  This couple is really sharing their story of being raised as very strict fundamentalists, and then growing up and deconstructing their beliefs.  They clearly love each other very much, and are trying to tell their story.  I could tell this was therapeutic for them.  They sound like they feel good about where they are at in life right now.  They clearly had some trauma and emotional abuse in their childhood faith.  Some of these fundamental groups cover up abuse, and even facilitate it in some cases.  This is unquestioningly evil.  It grieves me that those who bear Christ's name would do something that wicked, and appear to care more about their image than about what is truly right and holy.  Maybe they started off truly wanting to do right, but got off track.  Maybe others were always wolves in sheep's clothing.  Only God knows.  

     It was clear that the couple doing the podcast (particularly the husband, who actually grew up with the Duggars) really struggled with no one addressing needs they had growing up.  The husband struggled with his normal sexual desires during puberty, since it was not talked about sufficiently.  That is unfortunate.  Some of what was shared was very sensitive and troubling.  He recounted drawing a picture of some well-known fictional characters from a G-rated storyline in an X-rated, sexualized way, and then getting caught by his father.  The talk with his father didn't address the real struggles and desires he had, but was rather a critique of his drawing ability and trying to trick him into confessing if he did this often or if this was a one-time thing.  It was very brave and vulnerable to share this in the podcast, but I must confess it was very awkward and embarrassing to me to hear this.  I don't condemn him at all.  He clearly was feeling some very real things, and perhaps saw himself in these characters.  That is normal.  Good stories with well-written characters will do that for us.  If these characters were real people, they surely would be sexual beings like all of us.  The scenario just went to show how much this young man wasn't being taught and helped as he went from being a child to an adult.  That is the tragedy.  He needed to have his parents talk to him about his desires and feelings, and about the right way and time to exercise them.  

     All through the podcast, I really got a glimpse of the shame being thrown at the young people in their fundamentalist church, the sense of never being good enough, and needing to measure up.  Both husband and wife recalled "asking Jesus into their hearts" as very young children, but neither seemed to talk about really encountering Jesus in a personal way.  It was all about form, rather than a right relationship.  It appeared that in both cases, their parents initiated them "praying the prayer" rather than them coming to a place of conviction of sin and a desire to receive Christ.  It was about crossing all the t's and dotting all the i's.  As this man read entries from his teen journal, I saw just how down he was on himself, and how little grace he was extended.  My heart broke for him, and for everyone who has been wounded like that.  It wasn't a blunt abuse, but a subtle message of not being good enough, given a little at a time, until it became a deadly poison.  The guy shares his struggles with suicide.  

     The biggest tragedy he shared (though he doesn't see or present it as a tragedy) was his falling away from his faith in Christ as an adult.  He calls himself a "sort of atheist."  He and his wife have both deconstructed their faith.  That is something we hear a lot about now, and I have addressed it before in my blog.  All of us are constantly deconstructing our beliefs in small ways as we learn new info.  I used to believe that combing your hair while it was wet was really bad for it.  A beautician recently told me that is not the case.  I let go of the belief I previously held in light of new info.  That's part of living.  But as Christians, our faith is in the finished work of Christ, and that should never change.  That doesn't need to be reconstructed.  I would venture to guess that all of us have small beliefs creep in that are unbiblical, and as we compare that to God's word, we should be working on changing that to align it with what God has said.  The major deconstruction of young people leaving Christianity is truly tragic.  It is a process of deciding what they now believe.  It is heartbreaking that they were unable to grasp the truth, and are discarding even the remnants of it.  As I said, though, as I listened to all of this, I never saw either of the spouses, nor any of the people they mentioned, have a true encounter or relationship with Jesus.  This isn't to say they didn't.  It just didn't come across that they did in anything shared.  They went through the motions, and tried very hard to live up to man-made standards.  There was a sweet innocence to where they were at as young people, but Christ wasn't the center.  If they truly did know Christ, I believe they still do, and He will work in them and bring them back.  If they didn't, then they still don't, and they are simply no longer going through the motions.  If that is the case, I suppose it makes them a little more honest now.  

     The big takeaway I get is that people need to encounter Jesus Christ, in His true glory.  This can happen in a little old-fashioned country church with a pastor who preaches out of the King James Bible, or at a large, modern congregation in a major city.  The outer trappings don't matter.  If someone truly embraces Jesus as Savior, this person has God's Holy Spirit.  God's law is then written in his or her heart (Romans 2:15).  There isn't a need for all these human rules that only serve to bring on guilt and condemnation.  The believer is taught by the Bible, led by the Spirit.  True doctrine and teachings are important, but not the extra man-made stuff that only serves to throw people off track.  

     I encountered Jesus Christ as a little girl.  I recognized I was a sinner and in need for Christ's salvation, and I embraced the redemption He offers freely.  I was born again when I was five years old.  From there, I grew in my faith.  I grew up in an American evangelical home.  I went to AWANA and Sunday school.  I had a Christian education.  I went to camp.  As a little girl, I was had Psalty records, which we performed as plays at church.  On car trips, we would listen to cassette tapes of GT and the Halo Express, which is how I memorized many of the verses I still know today.  My family listened to Adventures in Odyssey every Saturday evening (my husband and I are still fans now!).  I had church/school friends who were Christians, and I had neighbor friends who weren't.  I saw my parents sharing the gospel with others.  I still cherish all of these precious things from growing up.  I see so many of those who deconstruct suddenly start ridiculing things that were once important to their lives.  I absolutely love all of these remnants of my childhood and teen years, and am so thankful for the ways they encouraged my already-existing faith.  They didn't create my faith, but they stimulated what was there.  

     Were there silly things I now chuckle at?  Certainly.  When I was in high school, my pastor was very into the Rapture and Tribulation.  That was pretty much all he talked about.  When he would witness to people, he would ask, "If the Rapture happened right now would you be taken or left behind?"  The average person on the street had no idea what he was talking about.  He lived in such a belief in the imminence of the Rapture that he told us we would never die, but that the Rapture would happen in our lifetime.  It got me thinking so strongly about it that, as a young college student, I was scared to drive unsaved friends, because if the Rapture happened, I would be taken, and the car would crash, killing my unsaved friend and sending her to hell, without a chance to get saved during the Tribulation.  I really thought deeply about this, and anytime an unsaved friend asked for a lift, I would silently pray the whole time that God would postpone the Rapture until I got her home.  I chuckle now at my naivety.  As if I was the only Christian on earth who was driving an unsaved person in my car, and as if God would postpone the Rapture just for me!  But I also think it is a very sweet idea that I lived in such belief in the imminence.  I wish I still thought that way.  Sometimes I do.  There are some little convictions I have gone through, then changed my mind about upon further study of scripture.  That is how we learn and grow.  

     If you read my blog two posts ago (Unfinished Business, December 7), you know that I experienced some abuse in church.  In other posts, I have shared about some of the ways I have been wounded in ministry.  I'm sure you have too.  My journey with other believers has not been perfect.  Hurtful things should not happen, but they do.  They are inexcusable, but not unforgivable.  And they do not make Jesus any less real or the Bible any less true.  Think of how ridiculous it is to base truth's validity on people's actions.  Someone at church hurt me.  Does that mean Jesus didn't actually die on the cross?  Of course not!  We are supposed to look at Jesus (Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith...Hebrews 12:2).  That is what I feel was missing from this podcast.  The background of the couple didn't seem to point to Jesus, but to man-made rules and standards of righteousness that they were expected to adhere to in their own strength (which is impossible).  Their current life doesn't seem to look to Jesus at all, but to what they call "my truth." (which is a total misnomer, because everyone's so-called truth contradicts everyone else's, which calls the validity into question!).  

This quote is probably the most accurate thing out there regarding "my truth."  

     There are things that shouldn't have happened to me.  There are things that shouldn't have been said.  There were times my parents, church leaders and teachers made honest mistakes in trying to do right.  There were times no one knew what I was dealing with internally, and consequently said things that shamed me and intensified my struggle.  But guess what?  Jesus is greater than all of that.  He was real in my life and He enabled me to overcome (And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives unto the death.  -Revelation 12:11).  He will do the same for everyone who truly wants Him to.  Jeremiah 29:13 says, You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.  I am not inside of anyone else.  I can't say what they did or didn't do in their spiritual journey, but I do know what God has done for me, and what He promises for all who call on Him!  Our journey should be a journey into the truth.