Today is a cold, rainy day in Arkansas. A lot of our ministry-related meetings today were cancelled, or changed from in-person visits to phone calls. Between all of this, I have been reading a book that just came out today. This is Becoming Free Indeed, by Jinger Duggar Vuolo. I am going to interact with it. If you are interested in this book, you can order it here. I got it on Kindle, which was how I was able to read it today.
For many years, the Duggars gave the rest of the world a glimpse into what it meant to hold their brand of conservative values. The oldest of the Duggar children were about a decade younger than me, so by the time they were famous, I was in my late 20's, a homeowner, and working in my career. As I said, I, too, was a conservative Christian, but vastly different than the way it was expressed on their show. I didn't really watch their show much, but from what I saw, I felt that there was no room for someone like me in their world. They seemed to disagree with young women going to college, owning a house, or holding a job. By far and large, they seemed to value women marrying very young and having babies right away. On all of those counts, I was guilty. I was a college graduate, a home owner, a job-holder, and was single and childless. Even when I did get married a couple of years later, my relationship with my fiance (now husband) did not emulate the way the Duggars do relationships. I was walking strongly with the Lord, but didn't feel any sense of camaraderie with what the Duggars seemed to be pushing.
In spite of their difference from the way I believed and lived, I did agree with them on some things, so it was sort of a conflict for me when I would hear people say that the Duggars were a representation of what it meant to be a Christian, a home-schooler, Baptist, or a Conservative. Yet I felt just as conflicted when I heard them referred to as a hate group. To this day, conflicting opinions about their family run ramped online. I became a lot more aware of them after their oldest son Josh got into moral trouble in 2015, and then much worse trouble in 2021. Josh is now doing time in federal prison for child porn charges. In spite of the fact that he waited until his wedding to even kiss his wife, and followed all the man-made rules, he failed miserably in what really mattered. He has been unfaithful and abusive, and now has shown how deeply depraved he is in engaging in child porn. However, other members of the Duggar family have done well for themselves. Some of the older daughters, notably Jill and Jinger, have removed themselves from some of the extremism they were raised with, but have not left Christianity. I really respect that, especially in a day when so many former evangelicals are "deconstructing" their faith and becoming "progressives" (which has nothing to do with Jesus or the Bible). Rather than deconstructing their faith, these Duggar sisters seem to be disentangling the truth from errors, and they are looking to the Bible to do this. This is what Jinger's book was about.
Jinger's book is not a tell-all about her family. She does condemn her brother Josh's actions in one chapter, but otherwise, speaks very positively of her family and upbringing. However, the object of her concern was a man named Bill Gothard, who led an organization called Institute of Basic Life Principles (IBLP). Jinger's family was deeply involved with the IBLP, and Bill Gothard's teachings were vital to their lives. In this book, Jinger compares Gothard's teachings to what the Bible actually says, and how she has broken away from the teachings of the IBLP without leaving the Bible or Christianity. For this, I am very proud of her, and admire her.
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| Bill Gothard |
Bill Gothard teaches a lot of very odd, random things, and uses obscure Bible verses out of context to validate them. When I was 26, (the single, home-owning career woman), I attended a group that watched the videos of what is called Bill Gothard's "basic seminar." A few things he said were good points, but a lot were odd to me. One thing he said was that it was wrong for single women to move out of their parents' homes. As a biblical basis, all he really had to stand on was this: Rachel and Leah would never have met Jacob if they had moved out and gotten an apartment somewhere. Okay, that is flimsy at best. Really, Rachel and Leah would probably have been better off if they hadn't met Jacob! God used their story for His glory, and to continue His chosen family, but they weren't living out His perfect will for relationships in what happened. Secondly, though, just because Rachel and Leah didn't get an apartment doesn't mean God forbids it! If they had moved out, and God wanted them to still meet Jacob, He would have worked it out. I think it's odd to make a rule like this for women without a better argument than this.
Jinger relayed several Bill Gothard anecdotes. All of his legalistic teachings led to deeper fear and insecurity. He taught that if you stepped outside of his principles, God would allow terrible things to happen. Jinger grew up worried that if she was around someone who listened to rock music, or who wore pants (a no-no for women in Bill Gothard's teachings), God might allow her family to be in a terrible car accident. Obedience was out of fear. One very bizarre story that Bill Gothard shared with them all was about a woman who lost her sons in a terrible boating accident. The pastor went over to comfort her. In the course of this visit, the pastor noticed a painting on her living room wall with a sailboat, and he told her that by having this piece of art on her wall, she had put it into her son's minds to go boating, and had therefore caused their death. This extra-biblical warning about artwork had people terrified about everything, and determined to do everything just right, so as to be protected. Instead, they should have been taught to rest in the grace of God. This man was not a true Bible teacher. He didn't teach in-depth Bible study, or systematic theology of any kind. He was a leader who used some verses to promote his own agenda.
In one particular story relayed, Bill Gothard was approached by a deeply troubled woman with a lot of baggage. She wanted to become a Christian, and instead of giving her the gospel, Bill Gothard said he told her that her life was too messed up to invite Jesus into. She needed to clean up her act for a while, and then, when she was at a better place, she could get saved. This is preposterous! Jesus came to seek and save the lost (Luke 19:10)! The thief on the cross was able to receive Christ's forgiveness, without having a chance to clean up his act (Luke 23:39-43). Jesus spent time with the demon possessed, the tax collectors (who were known cheaters and traitors), and prostitutes. He didn't condone their sin, but he came to save and redeem them. And we are all like them. We are all sinners. God doesn't rank sin by misdemeanor and felony. All of us are on an equal footing--sinful and in need of redemption. Bill Gothard was wrong to tell this woman that! This anecdote makes me wonder if he is a Christian at all. He appeared to purport a works-based gospel. There is no life so messed up Jesus can't come in and redeem it if that person turns to Him.
Bill Gothard would talk about rhemas. That is, the Holy Spirit speaking personally in our hearts. I believe in this experience. I believe it is in line with what Bible teaches about God's guidance in our lives. But the experience of believing God is talking to you is subjective, and can be misunderstood. People can have an emotional experience and think it's God. People can be wrong. People can misuse these things to manipulate others, or add to scripture. That is what Bill Gothard did. I believe when God speaks to us, it is usually something just for us, about something we are going through and need an answer on. It isn't something we build a doctrine out of for others to follow. Also, even in just our personal lives, we need to make sure what we believe we are being told lines up with the Bible. Anything that doesn't line up with the Bible is not of God. The Holy Spirit would never contradict the word of God, nor would he give new revelations we are supposed to take as equal to scripture. We need to be so careful about having a word from the Lord. I will return to this.
Jinger also shared about Bill Gothard's perversion. He was accused of a lot of sexual misconduct by several women, spanning many years. This led to his resignation from the IBLP in 2014. His organization is now a shell of what it once was. Some of the women who were hurt by him set up a website called Recovering Grace. They share their stories, and show each other the grace of Jesus in healing from these hurts. You can look at the website here. Some of it is honestly fascinating, and it is encouraging to see many of these women claiming Christ's victory over what happened. Like Jinger's book, they are mostly disentangling, not deconstructing.
The bottom line of Jinger's book in regards to Bill Gothard was that his teachings were man-made, not biblical. He was controlling and hard, and his teachings couldn't even change him. They were external, and couldn't change the heart. Jinger even draws some parallels between Bill Gothard and her own brother Josh.
So how did Jinger realize she didn't want to be part of Bill Gothard's cult anymore? I don't want to steal her whole story (read the book!), but God brought people into her life who were Christians, but who were not part of the IBLP. One of them was her eventual husband, Jeremy. God used these people to open her eyes to the fact that there were godly people who weren't associated with the IBLP. She then started really studying the Bible for itself, not just the verses Bill Gothard threw out to support his agenda. She went from seeing the Bible as a self-improvement book about her to a Holy Book about God, with Him as the central character. Her journey was one of looking to the Bible for answers, and that is what I wish more people who questioned their childhood faith would do. Way to go, Jinger! God has guided her to a much more grounded version of Christianity. I'll also add that I enjoyed reading about a Bible-believing Christian who lives in and loves Los Angeles!
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| Jinger Vuolo and her husband Jeremy |
Mostly, I was impressed with Jinger's insights, and I think she is on solid footing biblically, but I had a slight concern. Not a big one, because she is being guided by the Bible, and is indwelt by the Holy Spirit, who will guide her into all truth (John 16:13). But here is where I see a little imbalance. She is so wary of how Bill Gothard misused these rhemas (hearing from the Lord) that she seems to deny this can happen at all. She seems to believe the Holy Spirit doesn't speak to us at all (she didn't say this, that's just what I'm picking up from the tone of what she is saying). Because Bill Gothard told bizarre stories about God killing a woman's sons because she had a picture of a sailboat (implying she should have sought the Lord before hanging that picture up), Jinger seems to go the other extreme in saying that God doesn't give us specific guidance about anything in our lives, and we just do what we want, as long as it's not defined in the Bible as a sin. Because Bill Gothard taught a man-centered gospel, Jinger seems to go so far the other way (making it God-centered, as it should be), that she seems to deny any way the Bible can apply to our lives at all. She isn't terribly extreme in this, and I truly think she can balance out in time. But it brings up some thoughts for me.
1) The Holy Spirit Speaks to us today. I said earlier that these "rhemas" can be misused and misapplied. I have had people very manipulatively tell me God told them this or that, in the hopes that they could control me, or the situation. But don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. All through the Bible, we see God guiding His people. One of my favorites is in Genesis 24. I wrote a post about this passage recently (And He Loved Her, October 14, 2022). God clearly guided Abraham's servant in his quest to find Isaac's wife. Psalm 32:8 says, I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Isaiah 30:21 says, Your ears will hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” whenever you turn to the right or to the left. There are examples of God speaking to people, such as Samuel in First Samuel 16 (when he anointed David). In the New Testament, we are told about the Holy Spirit. In John 16:13, Jesus said, When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. In the book of Acts, we see God communicating with the apostles as they spread the gospel. He guides us today.
I remember one particular time when God spoke to me about something very heavy on my heart. I had just been through a break-up from a young man I thought I would marry. I was in need of God's presence and comfort (interesting that the Holy Spirit is called the Comforter in John 14:26). I had this really strong urge to hold out for this boyfriend to return to my life. But I needed an answer. I was in agony, and needed to know. I really prayed for God to show me how to think of this boyfriend. Then, I went to study the lesson I would be teaching that Wednesday night at AWANA. I was in First Samuel 16, and as I studied, verse 1 jumped out at me. Now the Lord said to Samuel, “How long will you mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him... In that moment, it was as if the Lord were asking me, "How long will you mourn for this guy, seeing that I have removed him from your life?" I did not create a new doctrine . I did not put this experience on others, saying God was telling everyone to forget their old boyfriends. This was just for me, right then. I felt relief, and deeply loved by God. I knew He had heard me, and was working on my behalf. I will expound more on this in the next point.
2) God directly guides us. Bill Gothard overdid it. He implied that we need to seek God's guidance about what artwork to hang on the wall. God calls us to rest in Him. We can't be at rest when we're agonizing over this stuff. And yet, that doesn't mean God doesn't care about the details of our lives, or guide us toward certain things. Jinger seemed to say (pretty close to these words, actually) that we can do whatever we want, as long as it isn't defined in the Bible as a sin. She said that God doesn't tell us who we're supposed to marry, or anything specific like that. We choose that. I get no comfort or encouragement from this teaching. I know my life would be lost and a mess if I hadn't relied on God's direct leading in the specifics of my life. I didn't just do whatever I wanted, with my only guidance being to make sure it wasn't defined as sin. I know God led my husband and me together. I know that He led us to the ministry we are in, as well as other steps our lives have taken along the way. Just avoiding sin isn't living the victorious Christian life. It's a step in the right direction. Galatians 5:25 tells us to keep in step with the Spirit. We aren't just to avoid sin, but to do what we are called by God to do.
God tells us what is sin in scripture. Lying is a sin. Murder is a sin. These things are obvious. But what about getting on a boat? Is that sinful? Not according to scripture. Nothing in the Mosaic law about it. And yet Jonah was sinning when he boarded the boat to Tarshish. Why was he sinning? Because he was going against what God specifically led him to do. There you have it. It isn't just enough to avoid sin. We need to be seeking and following God's leading in our lives.
In my example about First Samuel 16:1 telling me to forget this past boyfriend, I was obeying what God was telling me to do. I wasn't putting that on anyone else. I prayed for an answer and got one. My heart was broken. I was poor in spirit. I needed that. God loves me, and saw my need to hear from Him. According to scripture, would it have been wrong for me to hold out for the boyfriend, or try to win him back? No. There is nothing in the Bible that would condemn that. But God wasn't leading me to that. Maybe someone else in a similar situation would have been led differently. More power to them. I just needed to obey how I was being led. I am so glad I obeyed God. My husband is so much better for me, and was worth the wait. I didn't need to waste any further time on the old boyfriend. My time is valuable, and God wouldn't want me to waste it. So teach us to number our days that we might get a heart of wisdom, Psalm 90:12.
What does that verse in First Samuel 16:1 teach about God? It teaches, first of all, that He speaks to us, because He spoke to Samuel. Secondly, it teaches He wants us to move forward in victory, rather than remain paralyzed by the grief of the past. Third, if you read on in the passage, you see that God led Samuel to anoint Saul's replacement. God wanted Samuel to move on in His plans, and the same is true for us. This teaching is reiterated in other passages, such as Philippians 3:13-14 (forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus) and Hebrews 12:1 (let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.). This all lines up biblically. I knew that God was speaking to me then. That's another thing. When the Holy Spirit speaks, we know. God is able to communicate with His children so that we know it's Him. I believe hearing from God like this should be a normal part of the Christian life and experience.
3) Application to our lives. Yes, the Bible is a God-centered book. The Bible is about God. Some people read the Bible in a self-centered way. And yet God did write the Bible for us to know Him. He loves us. By the power of the Holy Spirit, the Bible can be applied to our lives. It is supposed to happen. Sometimes, it is very dramatic, like my experience of knowing I was called to move on from an ex-boyfriend after reading First Samuel 16:1. Other times, it is more seemingly commonplace, such as reading the Bible, realizing what I'm doing isn't lining up with what God has said, and making the needed changes to be in obedience. In the book, Jinger used the example of the story of David and Goliath, from First Samuel 17. She said that when she was under Bill Gothard, she would look at each part of the story and try to think what it might mean to her, personally. She would try to analyze why David picked up 5 stones (why not 4 or 6?) and try to conjure up some deep application for herself that didn't really exist. I get where that would be futile. But then, she went on to give another example from the story about giants, and how we should try to defeat the giants in our lives with God's help. She concluded this was wrong, and that the passage wasn't about her and she was wrong to have thought like this. I don't know that I agree completely. What does the story of David and Goliath teach us about God? He is victorious, and gives His people the victory against overwhelming odds. He uses the willing (such as David). Can that be applied to our lives? Sure it can! We all face obstacles that we need God's help to overcome. This isn't a name-it-and-claim it promise that we'll always win. My husband ran for Constable this past fall, and did not win. God never promised him he would win. But in Christ, my husband was able to look past the defeat to the spiritual victory, and good God had done in and through the campaign. First Corinthians 12:57 says, But thanks be to God who giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Likewise, First John 5:4 says, For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Christians are victors. So, can we apply that from reading the story of David and Goliath? Yes! The Bible is about God, but it applies to us.
Jinger Duggar Vuolo is diligently trying to align her beliefs with the Bible, and I applaud her. Her book was mostly a very well-done effort. I disagree with some of the mechanics of how she believes the Bible should be read and applied (or not applied), and how the Holy Spirit speaks to us today. She has seen so many abuses of these truths, it isn't surprising to me that she holds the beliefs she nows does about this. She is now aligned with a church in Los Angeles that is very much known for minimizing the Holy Spirit. While her current pastor is not the pervert or manipulator Bill Gothard is, he is a force to be reckoned with, and I have personally crossed swords with many from that church in the past when I taught evangelism classes in Los Angeles' San Fernando Valley. I fought many of my own personal spiritual battles as a young woman in L.A. dealing with this kind of theology. I can see myself in my early 20's, driving through L.A. trying to make sense of things that had happened, and what I was being told by proponents of this church. I had to conclude that they were wrong about this, even if they were right about other things. I guess that was my own time of "disentangling" in my life. I have never been sorry for the time I spent wrestling with these things, letting God teach and guide me. I know God will be faithful to Jinger, as He has been to me!
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