Body image

      Wasn't it strange, the way humans looked at themselves with eyes of flesh and not of the Spirit?  Certainly that dear woman had been through mire and filth of every degree; she was scarred, exhausted, ragged and dirty.  But to the angels, she appeared as God Himself saw her, just as any other redeemed saint of the living God: pure, shining, clean, dressed in garments as white as snow.   -From Piercing the Darkness, by Frank Peretti

     The above quote from a favorite book has always ministered to me.  It really depicts how God sees us, as opposed to how we see ourselves.  This quote is biblically-based.  Second Corinthians 5:21 says that as believers, we have become the righteousness of God.  Romans 8:1 says we are no longer condemned if we are in Christ Jesus.  Colossians 1:22 says we are presented to God as without blemish and free from accusation.  We are perfect in His sight!  And yet, why is it so hard to see ourselves that way? 

     Body-image is a big issue.  It's how we perceive ourselves.  In order to interact in this world, we need our bodies.  That is the purpose they serve for us.  They house our soul and spirit--the "real person" who relates to God and others.  And yet I would bet that most of us spend more time preparing our outward appearance in the morning than we do our heart and soul to face the coming day.  There is an inordinate amount of pressure to look a certain way.  For some, it might be following the latest fashions.  For others, it might be trying to be at that right weight--and we won't rest until we get there!  There are a lot of ways to be preoccupied with our physical bodies.  I believe the Bible gives us the right attitude toward our bodies.  

     We are to take care of them.  Keep them working as well as we can.  First Corinthians 6:19-20 says, Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.  First Corinthians 10:31 goes on to add, So whether you eat, or drink, or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God.  We should take care of our bodies so that we can live the amount of time on this earth that God intends, knowing that when it is His time, He will call us home to Heaven.  I have known people who took perfect care of their health, and they still had the Lord call them home earlier than expected.  It's about surrender.  First Timothy 4:8 acknowledges that bodily training is of some value...but goes on to state that godliness is much higher value.  No one should disagree with the idea that we should take care of our bodies while we live in them on this earth.

     The problem I see in myself and in our broken world is that our bodies often have the wrong priority.  As I already stated, I often spend a lot longer in the morning making myself presentable than I do seeking the Lord (I do have a daily time with the Lord, but it doesn't always last as long as getting myself physically ready.  This has given me pause to think).  If I step out of the house without combing my hair or taking care to put on clean clothes, I'll look like a slob to those around me, and I don't want that.  I want to feel respectable and confident.  And yet, if I go out without seeking the Lord, I face battles I may not be equipped for.  That should concern me much more than having messy hair or wrinkled clothes or wanting to lose a few pounds!  

     I am guessing, but I think everyone probably has some struggles with their body image.  The Bible has a lot to say about that too.  First Samuel 16:7 says that man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.  Romans 12:2 tells us Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind...  It isn't worldly or wrong to take care of our bodies, as we saw from the scriptures I already shared about that. But being obsessed isn't God's will for us.  It's being conformed to this world.  The way the world wants us to see ourselves.  Most of the people who send messages to us about our looks would financially benefit from our discontentment.  That's something to consider!  

     So what is your body image like?  You don't have to answer that.  Just think about it.  I was pretty content with my body, until I hit adolescence (see picture below).  I had a growth spurt that made me several inches taller than my friends for a few years (until many of them caught up in high school).  I was tall, very lanky, and awkward.  Some mean kids called me "Daddy-long-legs" and that humiliated me.  I know this is totally illogical, but I saw myself as fat (even though no one said I was, and the thing I was being teased about--being tall and lanky--was the opposite of fat).  My doctor even assured me that I wasn't overweight, but I just felt like I was.  I had bought into the lie our culture feeds to women and girls.  I was very self-conscious.  I decided I needed a diet.  I remember being at the birthday party of one of my school/church friends.  Her mother was my teacher, in fact.  I told her I wouldn't be having any cake, because I was trying to lose weight.  My teacher looked very concerned and said, "Sweetheart, I don't think you need to lose weight."  She must have told my mom about what I'd said, because my mom had a talk with me about how I was taking the world's view of myself instead of God's.  From this picture, I think I look like a very normal, young adolescent girl.  Because I'm sitting down, you can't even tell how lanky I was!  

October 1992.  This was taken just before we left the house on school picture day.  My mom didn't completely trust the professional school pictures to turn out, so she would take snapshots of us first, and then, whichever she liked best (between snapshots and professional) went on our Christmas cards each year!

     Those years were the beginning of body-image issues for me.  As I continued to fill out as a young teen, I was a little bit more developed that a lot of the girls my age (still tall and lanky, though) and I had a junior high teacher make a very crude joke about a certain part of my anatomy in front of everyone, and I was totally embarrassed.  After that, anytime someone looked at me, I wondered if they were thinking the same things this teacher had said about me.  It stayed with me always, though I didn't realize how much those cruel remarks affected me until years later, when I was shopping for my wedding dress.  Getting it tailored for me ended up triggering some of those bad feelings, and I broke down.  My mother-in-law-to-be had to hold me as I wept and wept for the pain for years of self-consciousness and poor body image.  

I ended up loving my wedding dress!

     Nobody's body is perfect.  People are cruel.  Have people hurt your body image at impressionable times?  I was recently encouraged in a Bible study to do the following.  Get alone with the Lord and re-live those moments.  Picture yourself as you were then--dated clothes and all!  Then imagine Jesus walking beside you.  What is He telling that hurt part of you?  Another exercise is to just thank God for all the amazing things He created your body to do!  Your body is an amazing machine that enables you to walk through life!  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Psalm 139:14.  

     There are a lot of lies about our bodies, too, even spiritual-sounding lies.  If you have a legitimate health problem that you can work on, then do it--but don't obsess.  Just joyfully do your best. But some things really aren't the problems the world has made them.  In fact, some spiritual-sounding advice is often given.  Have you heard this one: "If I could lose weight, I'd be able to serve God better!"  Is that true?  Maybe, but probably not.  As I said, if you and your doctor have determined that it would benefit your health to lose weight, do your best, and let God do the rest.  Honestly, unless you have a serious weight-related health problem, losing weight won't enable you to be a better servant of the Lord!  Renewing your mind (Romans 12:1) would help a lot more.  We need to be cultivating the inner person--the real you!  First Peter 3:4 says, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.  Spend more time in front of God's mirror, the Bible (James 1:23-24).

     One of the things I've loved about adulthood is that, unlike my long ago junior high days, nobody cares about what you look like!  The pressure is off, or at least considerably lessened!  In fact, even kids don't care as much as they let on.  When I was about ten, a friend of mine had to do a survey for a homework assignment.  She had to ask several different people to name the top five most important qualities in a friend. The answers she got were things like: friendly, kind, sweet, listens when you need to talk, loyal.  Only one person said "cute" as one of their important qualities they wanted in a friend, and even this person said a lot more substantial ones for the rest of the traits.  

     If you went to be with the Lord today, what kinds of things would your friends say about you at your funeral?  Would they say, "Oh, she always looked really cute in that skirt she wore," or "Oh, he had a great physique?"  No!  They would talk about the things you've done for them as a caring friend.  Your impact on their lives would have nothing to do with how you physically looked!  Turn it around.  Why do you love the people in your life?  Is it because they look a certain way?  I hope not!  I doubt it.  It is probably because of who they really are.  Think of some of the messages you feed yourself: "I look terrible!"  "I'm too fat (or tall, or thin, or short...etc.)".  Would you ever say that about those who love you?  Would you look at your closest friend and say,  "You are so ugly!" and start criticizing their appearance?  I doubt it!  You probably don't judge them by their appearance at all...and yet many do that to themselves.  Why?  

     Why do you love Christ?  For His looks?  Since no one living today ever saw Him physically, that wouldn't even be possible!  As a final exercise, I encourage you to write down all the things you love about the Lord, and then thank Him for those things!  Then, write down the names of the people you love, and the attributes you most love about them.  Then, tell them!  It will make their day!  For all you know, they could have body image struggles too, and need that reminder!

     In closing, I will say to do all for the glory of God!