Love Story

     If there was any mortal I was taught to revere, it was him.  And why not?  My own mother came to Christ as a result of his story (shortly after it happened).  The ministry I worked for had his biography as an illustrated kids story we shared in our Good News Clubs.  One of our most respected teachers at Institute had actually known him personally. I am currently reading his biography with my fifth grade class at the Christian School.  He had given his all--his very life, as it turned out--for the sake of the gospel.  I am referring to Jim Elliot (and, to a secondary degree, his wife Elisabeth).

Jim Elliot

Elisabeth and Jim Elliot--their love story has inspired countless couples.

     I'll give a synopsis about Jim Elliott's amazing story in the next paragraph, but my main intent in this post is to interact with it--both the good and the bad.  Beautiful things come out of these remarkable stories...but very bad things come out of trying to follow God's plan for your role model's life instead of your own.  So many lessons from this story have impacted me, and those around me.

     Jim Elliot was born in Oregon in 1927. He grew up in a strongly Christian home, coming to Christ himself at age 6.  He was a very focused, goal-oriented person.  He knew early on that he was called to the mission field, and his entire life was in preparation of this eventuality.  He avoided anything that didn't directly contribute to that end.  He was a very spiritually-minded young man.  In Bible college, he was known to approach random people and ask, "What's your verse of the day?"  Needless to say, many people avoided him, not wanting to be accosted with a question they weren't prepared to answer.  He refused to attend football games, or anything entertaining that didn't serve a spiritual purpose.  Dating was on the top of that list.  He was certain he was called to be single.  He believed he could serve the Lord better as a single man.  He looked down on those who dated as weaker Christians.  But then he met Elisabeth, his roommate's sister.  His convictions didn't exactly go out the window, but they were challenged--rightfully so.  Jim and Elisabeth had a blossoming romance, being involved in several ministries together on campus.  They eventually confessed their love for each other.  Both Jim and Elisabeth were very missions-minded, and also very surrendered to God's will.  As such, they concluded that, even though they were in love, they chose to hold off on their relationship until God made His will clear to them both.  Eventually, God separately led them both to Ecuador.  Being reunited there, they married in 1953 and served together.  Just a few years later, in 1956, Jim Elliot and four other men were brutally murdered, trying to bring the gospel to the ruthless Auca Indians.  Elisabeth Elliot remained in Ecuador, and continued ministering to the men who had killed her husband.  As a result, many came to Christ, including the man who had speared the missionaries to death.  

     I greatly admire Jim and Elizabeth's commitment to the Lord and His calling on their lives.  So few believers I know make a concentrated effort to seek God's plan for their lives.  Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future."  God has a specific plan for all believers' lives.  Ultimately, God's will and counsels stand (Isaiah 46:10).  However, we will only know joy and fulfillment in our lives as we seek to deliberately follow God and His will.  I believe this is very specific.  Daily.  Luke 9:23 says that to come after Jesus, we are to deny ourselves, take up our crosses daily, and follow Him.  Christianity was never meant to be a passive life of just doing what we want and letting God do His thing.  We interact with Him.  We enter into Him.  God wants a love relationship with us.  Jim and Elisabeth Elliot definitely had that walk of faith.  I admire them seeking God's will above their own desires, and not taking for granted that God's will was their will.  Much can be learned about surrender from their example.  This is important to me.  

     Many of my friends got into the weak theology that was very passive, rather than active ("You can do whatever you want as long as it isn't sin, and God will override all that isn't His will.")  No prayer or interaction with the Lord.  That scares me.  It is a joyless way to live, and is only appealing to people who want to disobey the Lord's specific leading in their lives.  This is why Jim and Elisabeth's faith was so refreshing. When I was single, I firmly believed God had the right man for me (and He did), but that He (God) would do it.  My job was to walk with Him.  First Thessalonians 5:24 says, "Faithful is him that calleth you, who also will do it."  I believe God Sovereignly works in our lives.  We need to seek Him and know Him, and leave the results up to Him. Proverbs 3:5 says to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our own understanding.  He guides our actions, and we respond in faith and obedience.  This applies to every area of life, not just waiting for your spouse.  I can't claim to completely understand the mystery of God's Sovereignty, but I know He desires our hearts. Jim and Elisabeth had that mastered.  

     Jim's ultimate surrender of his life for the gospel is a complete inspiration.  John 15:13 says, "Greater love hath no one than this, than to lay down his life for his friends."  I am certain Jim heard Jesus say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."  Also, Elizabeth's ability to remain on the field and continue evangelizing these people is a testimony of God's grace.  These people are very faithful servants of the Lord.  I respect them for this.

     Not everything from their story has had a good effect in my life.

     While I think it was wonderful that they were committed to God's will for them, some second-guessing is just too much.  God clearly led them both to the same Christian college, gave them the same calling and passions for ministry,  and gave them a deep love for each other.  I think that's worth examining.  Only God really knows if they should have gotten married sooner.  I'm not accountable for their story, but as an outside observer to the story, I think it appears God was bringing them together. They ultimately ended up married.  There are two possibilities.  Either they truly were obedient in waiting for God's timing, or God wanted them together in the first place, they blew the opportunity, and God gave them another chance.  Either way, God honored their surrendered attitudes.  

     This couple seems to have put themselves through a lot of unnecessary emotional torture.  This seems to have been instigated by Jim.  He had some real hangups about marriage that he had to overcome.  Before he met Elisabeth, he was completely convinced that the single life was spiritually superior.  He asked a lot of Elisabeth, having her wait indefinitely.  Personally, I wouldn't have gone along with that.  I ended relationships in the past because the men I dated weren't committing.  Even Jim's mother told Elisabeth to demand he fish or cut bait, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.  Perhaps when something is God's will, those involved have the grace to hang on.  

     Part of the reason I feel free to critique their relationship is because I have read Elizabeth's book, Passion and Purity.  In this book, Elisabeth details her relationship with Jim, using it as a pattern for how godly relationships should be.  That's where I have a problem.  God works in our lives differently.  We can't hold up one person's story as a model of how you're supposed to do things.  The Bible is sufficient for that.  People's stories can encourage us, but they can't be our pattern.  We're supposed to be patterned after Jesus (Romans 8:29-30).  

     Jim Elliot himself had his struggles.  Like all of God's children, he wrestled with his flaws, and grew in grace over time.  At times, he seemed quite pompous.  He was constantly rebuking others, including Elisabeth (something else I'm not sure I could have tolerated).  As I've read his biography to my 5th graders, they've become a little outraged at points, recognizing his pride (they call it, "Being too strict with himself and everyone else.").  

     As I have shared, I knew Jim's story for much of my life, I didn't read Passion and Purity until I was 20.  I had just gone through an earth-shattering breakup.  This man had been manipulative, indecisive, inappropriate, and really kept me waiting without commitment. He had overstepped his bounds on several counts.  We knew each other through ministry, and had shared a lot of emotional and spiritual highs.  Everyone in the ministry thought highly of him, and that I was the problem.  When I confronted him, everyone was angry at me.  I was in so much confusion and pain.  I needed clarity.  I needed to have someone hear me and tell me I was good and acceptable.  I needed to be told not to be ashamed.  That's when a good friend recommended Elisabeth Elliot's book.  

     The book was a very painful read at that time.  Here I had just stood up to a boyfriend who was wasting my time not commuting (and lost him), and I'm reading this Christian book about an arrogant guy who keeps his girlfriend in a 5-year holding pattern, and that was held up as spiritual and right.  The book proclaimed that women shouldn't question men.  In other words, according to that book, I had been sinful not to allow this boyfriend to manipulate me.  Instead of the validation I needed, I felt like I was being yelled at by a mean teacher.  Because I had been led to highly regard the Elliots, I was so perplexed.  Had I been wrong to put my foot down with this guy?  Was it right for men to be hurtful and misleading to women?  

     I got through that time with God's word.  I came to conclude that we don't need books of dating advice.  We need more time in the Bible, drawing close to the Lord, being led by His Holy Spirit.  You see, I concluded I'm not so different from Jim and Elisabeth.  They were trying very hard to discern God's will and act on it.  That is exactly what I was doing.  God may have led me differently than He led Elisabeth, but that's okay.  I'm not Elisabeth.  I'm me.  

     I also concluded that Jim Elliot, though flawed, was nothing like the hurtful boyfriend I knew through missions.  Jim Elliot never overstepped bounds in the ways this guy had.  And even if he kept Elisabeth waiting, he had at least declared his love, and made his situation clear.  Jim Elliot was committed to his calling.  The boyfriend had been wishy washy about all of it.  Not in any way would the Elliots condone the way he had acted.  That wasn't what Elisabeth had been trying to say in her book.  

     In conclusion, we can admire Jim Elliot.  Like all heroes of the faith, he had all the weaknesses that came with being human.   He let God work in him, and growth in grace was evident.  I now take his story as an encouragement about God's Sovereignty and grace in our lives.