I have often felt like Elijah. Even after spiritual victories in my life, I get tired and overwhelmed. I have a lot of joy in my life, but 2019 was a difficult year for us in several ways. It has often felt like life was running us over. I could go into detail, but that isn't my purpose at the moment. Suffice it to say, I felt like I was at the end of my spiritual and emotional rope. One aspect is that, living here in Texas now, we are far away from relatives, and are alone this Christmas. We've made a couple of friends, but we are lonely. We're still trying to plug in at a church. Due to a lot of illness of coworkers, I have been working a lot of overtime at the Christian preschool. This is good for the paycheck, but exhausting and overwhelming as well. Not enough personal time has led to a little bit of depression. I had been praying that this Christmas would be special. I didn't see how that would happen. But I kept thinking about Elijah, how he went on the strength of that food for forty days, until his next spiritual encounter. I needed some of that food. Something to keep me going. God has always been faithful with that. He gives me what I often call "preludes to Heaven." He does it just when I need it. Just to keep me going, keep me in this game called life.
The other day, I was in Walmart. Not even my favorite store in the world, but Kmarts are disappearing, so what choice did I have? I grabbed a few items, and was standing in line. Only two lanes were open, right beside each other. I had one too many items to be in the express lane, so I was in the main line. It wasn't very long, and I thought, "Okay, I'll be through this pretty quickly." However, the woman in front of me was one of those people no one wants to be behind. The ones who notoriously hold things up. This woman started trying to explain to the cashier why her purchase shouldn't have sales tax, and how he rang her up wrongly, and how he's harassing her. It went on and on, and she demanded he go check the price of something. I felt very annoyed. Kind of trapped, a hostage of this woman's manipulation. But what could I do? The manager ended up having to get involved, and it took forever.
In the meantime, this other woman got in the express lane, right beside me. She was a beautiful, nicely dressed African-American woman, about fifty or so. More than her physical appearance, I noticed the gentleness exuding from her. She brought a presence to that line. I felt somehow drawn to her, then dismissed it. She talked kindly and gently to those around her. She said something about church, and I jumped in and asked where she attended. She mentioned a church in Fort Worth. Without really knowing why, I told her we were new to Texas. She immediately smiled and said, "Don't say that. We claim you. You're one of us now." This sweet inclusiveness startled me. Very contrary to the fun-loving yet serious, "Don't mess with Texas" and "You're not really a Texan if you weren't born here" I've gotten from others since we arrived. It made me feel good to have her say that. I have struggled with feeling left out all my life, sometimes legitimately, sometimes in my head. Her words ministered to a deep, raw part of my heart. Again, not knowing why, I told her we had joined a church in the area, the same church that ran the Christian preschool where I work, but that my husband really hadn't felt plugged in, and we had been visiting others, and thought we'd probably found one we'd join. This woman nodded very positively and told me I was doing the right thing. Again, my spirit felt surprised but blessed by this. The truth of her words bore witness in my heart. The Holy Spirit was agreeing with what was being said and confirming it to me. This precious woman was saying exactly what God knew I needed to hear. That I was in the right place. I was okay.
In the meantime, this woman in front of me was still making a scene and holding everyone up. This sweet woman gently walked over to them and pulled out a fifty dollar bill, handing it to the manager. "This should cover her purchase," she said kindly.
Something happened right then. The obnoxious woman changed. She became kind and gentle too. She apologized to the manager and began showing respect. She told all of us in line "Merry Christmas." She was transformed by this act of grace. Here I was annoyed and wanted to smack her, but this godly woman showed her the love of Jesus, and it made a difference. It reminded me of how Jesus touched people's lives in the Bible, and they were instantly changed. I think of Zaccheaus, the moment he met Jesus in person, deciding to pay back everyone he cheated fourfold. I think of the demoniac at the tombs, who ended up becoming a witness for Jesus. Only Jesus' presence can change a person like that. And that is what happened in line at Walmart. I was struck with the realization that something very real and important was happening. I was in the middle of a miracle. A witness to the deep love God has for us all. This was my prelude. My touch of Heaven. The food meant to get me to the next place. The presence of God overwhelmed me. Joy welled up in my tired spirit. The love of God extended to this obnoxious woman, and transformed her. That's what God does for me too. That's what redemption is. And that is what Christmas is all about.
As we were all leaving, I told the sweet woman, "You exemplified Jesus today, and I needed to see that." She humbly sort of dismissed it lovingly and left.
I have been able to think of very little else. One odd thing about that whole encounter was that it was ten years to the date of one of the biggest spiritual battles of my life, on December 23, 2009 (the short version is, it involved victory over demons in the name of Jesus--a story for another time). I have always thought of that date with a little trepidation because of that battle (in spite of the victory). Now it's all changed.
Another thing about it was that it was exactly what I needed, including this woman saying exactly what God knew my heart needed to keep going. This woman was either an angel of God in human form, or she was a Christian completely in tune with the Lord. The presence of God was more evident in her than in any other human being I have met in my entire life. So was this woman my Christmas angel? Maybe. If not literally, then metaphorically. But I don't think it's for me to know. The focus is Jesus. That's what it was all about for me. Seeing Jesus' love. Giving me just enough to get me to the next encounter with Him. just like the food for Elijah. "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..." Hebrews 12:2.
Walter and I are having a joyful Christmas, enjoying each other and Jesus' presence. We're taking our new life here one day at a time, enjoying Christ every day.
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