Monday, December 16, 2019

Not-Guilty

     A personal battle I fight in my own life is a constant, on-going, nagging sense of guilt.  I have struggled with this daily since 1992 (which was the onslaught of adolescence for me, not sure if this is related).  I sometimes assume responsibility that isn't mine.  If things aren't going well around me, I feel guilty, as if I could control it.  I recently had an electric bill that was six times what I'm used to paying (my husband and I are relatively new to Texas, and utilities are much more expensive here).  Understandably, this was overwhelming to me.  But the complete, sickening guilt I had was out of proportion.  The price of utilities in Texas are not under my control.  A few months ago, my husband was looking for work, and I felt guilty any time someone asked me how his job search was going--as if I had the power to give him a job and it was my fault he hadn't found one yet.  God provided an excellent job for him in His timing.  None of that was my fault, but I was incredibly plagued by guilt.  

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     A positive aspect to this problem is that I am very quick to try to make things right when they really are my fault.  I am quick to own my failures.  I seldom pass blame on others.  However, I have taken on guilt that wasn't mine, and that is a problem.  

     I have used the phrase "false guilt" to describe this feeling in my life, but I have heard some who didn't like that expression.  By their logic, there is no "false" guilt, since we're all sinners.  We're all guilty.  They see the idea of "false guilt" as an excuse for sin.  In a sense, they're right.  There are a lot of people trying to pass the buck and deny responsibility for their actions.  The Bible does teach that all have sinned (Romans 3:23).  We are sinners, incapable of saving ourselves (Romans 3:10-12).  Jesus's death and resurrection made our forgiveness possible (First John 4:10).  At the moment of salvation, we are "in Christ" (Second Corinthians 5:17).    We are seen as perfect in God's sight (Isaiah 43:25).  Our sins are removed as far as the East is from the West (Psalm 103:12).  There is no condemnation for us once we're saved (Romans 8:1).  We are justified--declared "not guilty" (Romans 10:10).  Those are the things that happen to us at salvation.  

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     The longer we walk with the Lord, the Holy Spirit transforms our lives, making us more like Jesus.  This is called sanctification.  One day, we will be removed from the presence of sin, which is called glorification.  But until we are glorified in Heaven, are we guilty at times?   The short answer is yes...and no.  Yes, we still sin, and are guilty, needing to make it right.  On the other hand, we are declared righteous in God's sight, and will never bear the eternal penalty of these sins.  They already fell on Jesus on the cross.  We fight our battles.  When we sin, the Holy Spirit gently convicts us, showing us exactly what to do to make things right.  That is of God.  But feelings of intense, hopeless condemnation are not from the Holy Spirit.  These feelings can come from real sins we committed, or they can come from things that aren't even sin on our part.  God has no desire to just condemn us.  A lot of times, my own guilty feelings are very ambiguous.  That isn't how real guilt works.  When we sin, God convicts us of exactly what we've done.  No ambiguity.  These undefined feelings of guilt aren't from God.  

     First thing, I need to remind myself that guilt is a fact, not a feeling.  If I did wrong, I'm guilty.  If not, then I'm not.  My feelings have nothing to do with it.  It's hard to hang onto this truth when emotions tell me otherwise, but it is the truth.


     First John 2:1 says that "if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father--Jesus Christ, the Righteous One."  Jesus is our advocate.  Romans 8:34 tells us that Jesus is at God's right hand, making intercession for us.  That is, He pleads our case like a lawyer.  God is for us--who can be against us (Romans 8:31)?  With all of this truth, there is no need to feel guilty.  Where do these feelings of false guilt come from?  Satan--"the accuser of the brothers."  Revelation 12:10 tells us that Satan accuses believers before God day and night, but he will be hurled down forever.  And with Jesus as our advocate, we have nothing to fear.  

     Another thing I need to remember is that I can't control everything or everyone else around me.  I need to take responsibility for what is mine, and not for what isn't.  I'd like to close with the Serenity Prayer.  "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardships as a pathway to peace, taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it, trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to You will, so that I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with You forever in the next.  Amen."  

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