How to Win Souls and Influence People

     "You know you're a leader," my college professor told us years ago, "if you see people following you."  Sounds pretty simple.  I think everyone wants some level of influence.  To know their lives impact others.  That's a good feeling.  As Christians, we have a  special reason for wanting to have that influence.  We represent Christ, and want to bring people into His kingdom.  I know for myself, I used to constantly pressure myself to be the perfect witness all the time, and really beat myself up if I didn't have that right answer, or that perfect testimony all the time.  It can be a lot of pressure.  But it doesn't have to be.

     Speaking of influencing, I just got through watching a webinar presentation about a certain business venture someone wanted me to join.  The woman giving the presentation used a lot of phrases that were a turn-off to me.  Phrases like, "Unless you've been living under a rock, you know that...".  Some of the claims she made were things I actually hadn't heard about, and yet I certainly don't live under a rock.  Using that type of phrasing  conveys a sense of superiority.  As if to say, "I"m in the know and you're not."  It would be much more compelling to humbly relay the information, possibly prefacing them with, "You may have heard that..." That way, it gives people who have heard about it the sense that you recognize they might already knew it, and at the same time, informing those who didn't know.  That way, no one is invalidated or accused of living under a rock.  No one likes to feel out of the loop.

     I had another recent experience with someone trying to influence me.  This person is a dear friend.  We have a lot in common, and usually agree.  However, on the occasion when we don't agree on something, she has a tendency to lecture me.  I'm not talking about just sharing why she holds the view she does.  I think friends should be able to do that.  I'm talking about not accepting my difference of opinion, and insulting my intelligence in an attempt to get me to change my mind and agree with her.  Of course, that never happens.  In all our discussions of this nature, she has a 0% success rate of getting me over to her viewpoint.  Even if she was 100% right and I was completely wrong, I wouldn't be receptive to this method of persuasion.  It insults intelligence.  Again, it is invalidating.  Invalidating people doesn't tend to win them over.

     What does the Bible say about influencing others with the gospel (or other areas)?  First of all, John 6:44 holds a very important point to remember.  "No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent me draws them."  We are so depraved that we are incapable of receiving the truth of the gospel without God working in our hearts.  The Holy Spirit convicts us of our sin and need for Christ, guiding us to the truth (John 16:13).  This is a work of God, not something humans can bring about.  The Apostle Paul even says in First Corinthians 2:4, "My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power."  Even the Old Testament teaches us this concept.  Zechariah 4:6 says, "Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord Almighty."  That is step one, realizing we're not God.  Only the Holy Spirit can change people.  We cannot.

     Second, look at how Jesus influenced others.  He taught them in parables, everyday examples they could take in and relate to.  Mark 4:33 says, "With many similar parables Jesus spoke to them, as much as they could understand."  He related to where His audience was at.  He knew things far beyond them!  He could have blown them away with his knowledge.  He could have rightfully put them in their place for being out of the loop!  And yet He didn't do that.  He was humble and kind, and used things they would understand to teach them eternal truths.  Also, unlike the woman giving the webinar who wanted me to join her pyramid scheme, Jesus didn't have a self-seeking motive.  He didn't ask, "What's in it for me?"  He loved people enough to die for them!  If we are going to win people for Christ, we have to be selfless like that.  Like Jesus, we need to find our fulfillment in doing God's will (John 4:24).  That is step two, humbly relate to where people are at.

     Third, let's look at the Apostle Paul.  He was responsible for writing much of the New Testament (under the direction of the Holy Spirit), and for bringing the gospel to much of the known world.  Really, his approach was a combination of the first two steps here.  He depended on the Holy Spirit's guidance (Acts 16) and met people where they were at, using their knowledge to get them to the truth (Acts 17:22-23).  The point with Paul was, He preached the gospel.  He spoke the truth unashamedly (Romans 1:16).  He didn't berate or belittle others who didn't agree with him.  He simply kept sharing that truth.  In First Corinthians 9:16, he said, "Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel."  He kept the focus on Jesus, not peripheral things.  He said in First Corinthians 2:2, "For I resolved to know nothing when I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified."  Likewise, Paul urged his protege Timothy, "Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season..." (Second Timothy 4:2).  That would be my third point here.  Focus on the truth (in the case of the gospel, it's Jesus!).  A teacher I had in missionary institute many years ago used to say, "Keep the main thing the main thing, and the main thing is Jesus!"

     There are times to debate.  Apologetic studies are vital if we are going to know how to teach and defend the gospel.  But a good argument alone will never win someone over, especially if it is done in arrogance.  A few extra little principles I'm going to add are the following.  People might be wrong, but we need to respect their right to be wrong.  We can't "make" them believe.  We need to respect their intelligence and independence as human beings to make choices.  By doing this, we're not saying they are correct.  I am a Christian.  This naturally means I believe Islam to be a false religion.  But do I think Muslims are stupid, or treat them like they are?  Of course not!  Most of the Muslims I have met don't treat me as stupid either.  A respectful relationship is important.  It is better to be able to kindly share with them, even if they are not persuaded.  They might really think about it later, in the quiet of their hearts.  The Holy Spirit can use your words long after you've said them.  All you're really doing is planting seeds.  Be kind and respectful.  Peter (Jesus' disciple and later apostle) said in First Peter 3:15, "...be ready always to give an answer to every man who asketh you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear."  Be ready with the truth, but present it humbly.  That's what he's saying.

     I'll close with one more point.  If you are trying to convince someone of something that isn't the gospel (admittedly, there are important things you might be dealing with), these same principles apply.  Recognize only God can change someone's view.  Meet people where they're at.  Humbly share the truth, and keep the main thing the main thing.  Respect them.  After you've done all you can do, pray for them.  I have seen God change people I prayed for.  Other times, God has changed me and shown me where I was wrong.  Be humble without compromising the truth.  See how that changes your life and makes you a powerful influence!