In God We Trust

      This is a part of my testimony I don't always share.  It isn't so much because I'm trying to hide it as much as it just doesn't always fit with my point in sharing my story.  And, truth be told, I'm a little ashamed I could be swayed in this way...but the truth is freedom.  

     Maybe you can relate to this.  As a young adult, I had come to the point where I had been hurt and let down by a lot of God's people, and just didn't know what to do with it...how to cope...how to understand some of the experiences I'd had.  Don't get me wrong.  There were godly and good people in my life too.  But I didn't know how to process some of what had happened to me, and therefore, I couldn't heal.  I began to distrust my fellow Christians.  

Me as a college student (second from right).

     Satan knew just where my vulnerability was.  The fall I was eighteen, I had enrolled in community college.  After having grown up in Christian school and a relatively wholesome neighborhood, you might think that the "worldliness" of being in a secular school would surprise me.  It didn't.  I wasn't naïve, and I knew unbelievers act like unbelievers.  I actually found some very nice acquaintances among them, and developed very respectful relationships with them.  I was pretty well-liked among my classmates.  A few times, God even gave me witnessing opportunities.  No, the "worldly" people didn't shock me.  Instead, the big shock to me was that the Mormon classmates referred to themselves as Christians.  The Latter-day Saints I had known growing up actually used the term Mormon, and I had never heard them claim to be Christians, so having several Mormon classmates (as well as one Mormon professor) all claiming Christianity shocked me.  I mean, it really shocked me.  

     In recent years, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has tried to distance themselves from the word Mormon, but back when I was 18, the movement wasn't quite as strong.  I find it confusing that this faith would try to look like typical American Christianity, even using the word Christian, while at the same time staying firmly in their own church and resisting any connection to other churches.  A convert to Mormonism must be baptized in the Mormon Church...in other words, they wouldn't recognize a Methodist, Baptist or Presbyterian baptism.  This shows they are distinct, and see themselves as such.  Yet in their public relations, they blur the lines and try to look like just another Christian denomination.  As an 18-year-old, I was totally surprised that they called themselves Christians.  What was more, their lifestyles were very similar to mine. They were family-oriented young people, respectful of their parents, praying about their futures, attending church.  Their forms of entertainment were moral and wholesome, much like mine (and different from the partying our other classmates did).  I got along very well with these Mormon classmates.  Several of them shared their stories with me, stories of growing up in their churches all their lives, never having to leave, never facing rejection.  In fact, their church was organized in such a way that there was only one church, and you just went to the location (ward) closest to your house, as assigned by the higher-ups.  This sounded wonderful to me.  Of course, the control being exercised didn't occur to me then.  

     I had just been emotionally bankrupt on a mission trip that summer with fellow believers.  We had shared the gospel, but behind the scenes of our ministry, I had been wounded deeply.  I had faced sexual harassment by a guy I had initially kind of liked, followed by his rejection and guilt trips.  I had been bullied by a female team mate, and this young woman had gotten me into trouble and caused me to be disliked by some of the people we were serving.  In some ways, it had been a living hell.  I spent all summer in a third-world country on the other side of the earth with no access to family or friends in the US, other than air mail.  When I had gone to leaders for help, I just got dismissive answers.  So I came back from that trip and went to a secular school, being treated nicer than any of the Christians on the trip treated me, and treated especially nicely by these Mormons.  I was vulnerable, and was presented with a puzzle.

     I had been warned all my life that Mormonism was a false religion.  I began to question that.  Maybe it wasn't.  Maybe they were just misunderstood.  How could something that produced the security and stability I saw in these classmates be bad?  Even their mission trips were more controlled than mine had been, so there was no way they would ever face the craziness I had just experienced that summer.  That whole semester, I battled my growing attraction to Mormonism.  I was a little horrified with myself, so I didn't voice this struggle to anyone.  In fact, I tried to ask my classmates about their church as just a casual interest, so they wouldn't think I was wavering in my faith and go for the "kill" by proselytizing me more than they already were.  But I was really wondering if there might be some truth to Mormonism.  Maybe their kindness and supposed love for God and their church was the answer.  As I would drive past the Mormon church during that time, I would look at the beautiful building and wonder, What do they have that my Christian experience has been missing?  I was tempted--so very tempted--to pull into the parking lot, go inside, and find out.  But only tempted.

     See, I came to realize something by the end of that semester.  My issue was with people.  Christian people.  Imperfect people.  But faith can't be about people.  It's about the truth.  Jesus said in John 8:32, And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. He didn't say that nice, kind people will set you free.  And even if Mormonism had some little semblances of truth (outwardly paying homage to the Bible and Jesus), the error outweighed that.  Psalm 51:6 tell us, Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.  Truth mixed with error is still error, and God wanted me to believe the truth, from the depths of my being.  I had to be honest with myself, and admit what I knew to be true.  John 17:17 tells us what the truth is.  Jesus, praying for His followers, said, Sanctify them by Your truth; Your word is truth.   A few chapters earlier, Jesus had told His disciples, I am...the truth... (John 14:6).  The Mormon religion has added to the truth, which is a damnable offence (Revelation 22:18)

     Unfortunately, when it comes to setting a good example, Christians sometimes fail miserably.  It's cliché, but it's true: "Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven."  Living in community with other Christians requires forgiveness sometimes.  We need to be patient and gentle with each other, and realize God isn't finished with anyone yet.  The Apostle Paul admitted in Romans 7:15, I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.  He said to the Philippians, Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect... (Philippians 3:12a).  It is okay to separate ourselves from hurtful people.  Just don't separate from the truth of the Bible.  In that process of growing, sometimes we hurt and disappoint each other.  That doesn't invalidate the gospel, because it's about the truth, not about people.  There will be no finger-pointing at the judgment saying, "Lord, so-and-so offended me, so I rejected You."  It doesn't work like that.  In my case, I wasn't considering rejecting Jesus.  I was just starting to believe the delusion that this false cult was part of biblical Christianity, maybe even a better part than I'd experienced.  But none of the appeal was about their beliefs.  It was in comparing the kind church members to the people who had hurt me.  When I actually looked at what they believed, compared against the Bible, I knew what my choice had to be.  No thanks!  

     This is beside the point, but realistically, I was probably comparing the cream of the crop from the Mormon Church to the "blooper reel" from my experiences.  There are nice people everywhere, and mean people everywhere.  All people are created by God, in His image, and those good qualities are really from Him...but that doesn't mean they hold the truth.  

     I get concerned when I read these memes on Facebook, or hear people tell stories about how someone was mean to someone in church, and how that person rejected Jesus and went to hell, and it's all the mean Christian's fault.  This is such a lie.  That mean Christian is responsible for what he/she did, but that is where it ends.  We are each responsible for our own soul.  I had to be.  If I had chosen to get mixed up in Mormonism, I couldn't blame the people from my mission trip who hurt me.  They were responsible for their actions, but they are not responsible for the choices I make as a result.  I would only have myself to blame for my choice to embrace false doctrine.  You are responsible for your own soul.  It isn't about people, it's about the truth.  What did you do with Jesus Christ?  

     At the end of that semester, two of my "worldly" (not Mormon) classmates and I went out for lunch together.  The conversation turned to religion, and these two girls started complaining about churches being full of hypocrites.  I was able to share Christ, but they kept interrupting with "What about the hypocrites?"  I had been silently battling this question all semester in my struggle with Mormonism, and because of that, I was able to finally give the answer I had found.  I responded to my classmates, "What about the hypocrites?  What are you going to do with Jesus Christ?"  They had no answer, and our visit ended pretty quickly.  I'm sure I gave them something to consider.  Most importantly, I was voicing my own victory in Christ.  

     Our national motto "In God we Trust" is such a vital truth.  In God we trust--not people!  When you are faced with hurtful Christians, or wonderful unbelievers, resolve to trust in the Lord over and above what people say and do.  This not only applies to Christianity versus other religions, but also even when choosing your theological positions within biblical Christianity.  Don't make your choice based on people's behavior.  Making it based on what God has said.  After all, it's about the truth.