Is Happiness a Choice?

     A phrase I hear a lot is "Happiness is a Choice."  Is it?  Do you think it's true?  Would those suffering from clinical depression agree with that?  Surely, if they could choose, they would never choose to be depressed.  Why would anyone?  So, is happiness a choice?  Or is it reserved for those fortunate enough to enjoy where life has them?  What does the Bible say about this?

     I'm going to build the case that, ultimately, yes, happiness is a choice, but I'm going to give some disclaimers and put some specific definitions on it.  It isn't as simple as some make it seem.  

     My first disclaimer is that telling a depressed person "Happiness is a choice" is a very insensitive thing to say.  The issues behind their struggles are usually far beyond just making a choice to put a smile on.  There might be chemical reasons for their depression, or there might be some underlying emotional hurts that need to be worked out.  Choosing happiness is possible, but it isn't as simple as it sounds.  Adding to that a little, I get concerned with the attitude some people have toward those suffering with heartache, sadness or depression.  I hear well-meaning people tell others, "Try to smile a little."  That communicates, "I don't care how you feel or what you've gone through, but I want you to look happy, so you don't bring me down."  All through His earthly ministry, Jesus spent time with the suffering.  He got to the source of their grief and brought healing, rather than just try to make them look like they were doing better.  There are so many examples of this, but one I'll mention now is in Mark 5.  Jesus meets the demon-possessed man.  The man is violent and naked, a terror to everyone.  Jesus didn't give the man clothes.  Jesus didn't tell him he needed to act better.  He got to the source of all of it--the fact that the man was possessed by multiple demons.  When Jesus resolved this by casting out the demons, the man was soon after found "clothed and in his right mind" (verse 16).  Telling someone to put a smile on their face, or stop crying, or whatever well-intended way someone might attempt to help isn't really helping if it doesn't get to the source.  

     My second disclaimer is that being pleased with everything all the time isn't the kind of happiness anyone can choose.  No one always has things go the way they want.  That being the case, it stands to reason no one is always happy every moment of every day.  Somethings, sad things happen, and it's okay to be sad, angry, upset, annoyed, irritated, disappointed, or bothered.  Being unhappy isn't a sin.  It's being real.  Sometimes, there are very good reasons to be unhappy.  

     Third, God doesn't want us to choose happiness as much as joyfulness.  I might be happy if the Dodgers win the world series, but I can still have joy either way!  Happiness is often dependent on circumstances.  Joy is rooted in what Jesus did on the cross.  Jesus Himself said in John 16:22, Therefore you too have grief now; but I will see you again, and your heart will rejoice, and no one is going to take your joy away from you.  One of my favorite Christian singers Cheri Keaggy says in her song entitled Restored, 

So I'm practicing joy
Choosing it daily
Putting it on like a favorite cologne
And when life breaks me down
It won't even faze me
Some call me crazy
But I'm just in love with the Lord
For He has been faithful
Enough just to fill me
And take me to heights I have never explored
If I'm never broken
How can I be restored?

    Continuing along these lines, joy can be a matter of perspective.  James 1:2-4 tells us, Consider it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.  This passage tells us that when we face trails (not if, but when!), we can consider it joy.  Considering is an act of the will.  James is urging believers to choose to have the perspective that God is at work in our lives through these trials, making us who He wanted us to be.  There is a deeper purpose, and for that, we can choose joy.  We're not commanded to enjoy the trials.  We're encouraged to choose joy in the midst of it.  

     All the same, God doesn't want us to go through life miserable all the time.  So we do need to choose both joy and happiness.  And we can!  

     When we are able to root our joy into what Christ has done (which can't be taken away), and have that eternal perspective on our circumstances, we choose joy, and this, in turn, affects our happiness, as well as how we enjoy the life God gave us.  We are able to be content.  The Bible says a lot about contentment.  First Timothy 6:6 says, But godliness with contentment is great gain.  Being content, again, doesn't mean we like everything that happens.  It means we know God's grace is enough (Second Corinthians 12:9).  

     In the last few years, my husband and I have moved a lot more than we ever intended or wanted.  I was disappointed in some instances, but chose to enjoy different aspects of each place we've lived.  I counted my blessings, so to speak.  Maybe you've had a similar experience, or something else that went very differently than how you had expected.  Counting your blessings and thanking God for them is the answer to help your happiness.  First Thessalonians 5:18 says, Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  Please note that it doesn't say to give thanks for all circumstances.  We can give thanks for God's goodness to us in the midst of things we don't like.  

Some photos of places Walter and I have gotten to count our blessings about:

Ponca State Park, Nebraska (a very short drive over state line from where we lived in South Dakota)

Pecos State Park, New Mexico (an hour from where we lived in Albuquerque)

Waco, Texas (we lived in Arlington, next to Fort Worth, but made a little day trip)

Arkansas, our current home and mission field

 

    I had a friend in college who was, as they say, a drama queen.  When I first met her, she was a lot of fun, and I got sucked into her emotional world with her.  At first, she was coming over or calling me all the time.  We'd have fun, but she'd end up complaining about her problems.  At first, I thought, "Wow, she's really going through it right now.  Satan must really be attacking her."  But after a while, the problems that were supposedly so terrible for her were suddenly over, and new problems cropped up in their place, having her just as devastated and upset, coming to me at all hours.  One time, I remember going to my dorm room to study (we only had one person per dorm--no roommates), and she was on my bed, sobbing into my pillow, waiting for me to get back!  When I would try to help her, or offer solutions for her problems, she would get offended, or refuse the help.  She only wanted to cry to me.  I remember thinking at the time, "How could anyone want to be miserable?"  I still don't know!  But she had the habit of looking for reasons to be upset and miserable.  The problems she had were real, but she gave them power over her life, and didn't even know how to function without them!  In cases like that, she should have chosen happiness.  She could have.  There were many blessings in her life (she had me for a friend! HA! HA!).  She wanted to act like I was her psychologist, rather than face her real problems (which might have involved seeing a real psychologists).  

     True happiness comes from within.  This drama queen friend came to visit me in California during a break, and I was able to take her to Disneyland.  In the middle of "the happiest place on earth" (as Disneyland is often called), she frowned at me and said, "I hate it here."  Amazing.  She got to take a fun vacation and go to a legendary amusement park, and still, she couldn't be happy.  On the other hand, Another college friend was in the hospital, month after month, getting sicker and sicker.  Her joy led her to be able to witness to the nurses on duty.  She was able to choose joy in what most of us would consider a terrible circumstance.  

     As Christians, how do we choose to be happy?  Clearly, lasting peace, contentment, and joy are not really from our circumstances (hence my miserable Disneyland friend and my joyful hospital friend).  How do we get in that right mindset?  Well, the Apostle Paul gave us some information about that.  In Philippians 4:12 he tells us, I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  So what was the secret?  The next verse tells us, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  Christ is the focus.  He is the One who empowers us.  We need to have the perspective that looks beyond this life, to the eternal.

     Is happiness a choice?  It is, but it isn't just a choice to be happy.  It's a choice to embrace Christ, His life in us, His perspective on all that happens to us.  It's focusing on His presence and blessings.  It's being real about things that are less than desirable.  To close with an old song we used to sing in Sunday school: Happiness is the Lord!