Well, it has happened. I have been cancelled. Facebook will no longer allow me to use my author page to promote my blog or other writing projects. I can technically post, but I am no longer able to boost my posts from that page. If you are not familiar, boosting is a paid way of advertising your page, where it reaches more people. I have gained many of my followers by boosting my posts over the last three years. Now, Facebook has blocked me from being able to do this, and I will be looking for new ways to advertise my blog and books. If you have any ideas, let me know!
Why have I been silenced? You can read two blog posts ago, my June 2 article about pride. People with the opposite beliefs are given total freedom on this online platform, but they are threatened by my view. If something is really right and true, it doesn't need to be forced on people, nor do opposing views need to be silenced. I want to go on record and say that I am not too upset about this. I have a joyful, fulfilling life, and if God wants my stuff out there, He will work it out. If not, well, He has given me so many other things to focus on.
We live in a day with unprecedented access to communicate with other humans, often with people we don't even know apart from these encounters. With the advent of social media, YouTube, blogging, etc. we can truly "reach out and touch someone" like no other generation could even imagine. This can be a blessing, but can also be a double-edged sword. We have the opportunities to communicate our beliefs and views on things, and people have the opportunity to agree or disagree with us. They may choose to have respectful discussion, but quite often, all-out wars break out. Horrible things are often said. In my own foray into the world of social media, I have had some people absolutely love things I've said, and become true-blue followers (and even friends in some cases), and have had others say absolutely hateful and disgusting things. It goes with the territory. I have accepted that. I've been told to drop dead, go jump in a lake, and other things of that nature. I have also been told much worse, none of which is repeatable. I am fairly certain these people would never say such things if I were physically standing in front of them. There is something emboldening about being behind a computer screen, with a level of anonymity for security.
In social media, as well as in person, we hear people make statements we disagree with, or that rub us the wrong way. When is it worth it to engage in discussions, and refute these people? When is it a good idea to challenge something that has been said, and when it is a good idea to walk away silently? I believe it is a case-by-case thing, and I even think it is a person-by-person thing. God might not call you to take the same action He'd call me to, and vice-versa. How are we to view those who make statements we disagree with, or personal attacks? Let's look at this biblically.
Proverbs 26:4-5 gives us the idea that there are different ways to handle it in different situations. Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him. Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit. On the whole, we are called to live at peace with others. Romans 12:18 says, If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all people. This short verse does give some caveats, though. If possible. So far as it depends on you. This verse recognizes that it isn't always possible, and that it doesn't depend 100% on you (or me), but that other people are part of the equation, and we can't control them. You can only control you. On your end, live peaceably. But it isn't always dependent upon you alone. So does this mean you are called to just peacefully be silent when people are antagonistic? Maybe, maybe not. I believe that depends on what God is calling you to do in the situation. Ecclesiastes 3:7 says there is a time to keep silence, and a time to speak... Sometimes, something is your fight...something God has impressed on your heart to speak out on. Other times, you might feel like something has value and importance, but it isn't specifically vital in your own heart to speak out on it. God has given that burden to someone else. That is okay. You need to do what you are called to do.
Here are some general guidelines that might help you in regards to making and responding to controversial statements.
Decide what is worth it to you
What is truly important? Mark 8:36 says, For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? People can become heated about almost anything. Sports, business, politics, you name it. Some things might be worth an argument, but some are not. They aren't about the human soul's eternal destiny. It is up to you to determine what God would have you respond to, and what to ignore. You are not me, so your priorities in this might differ, but for me, someone being a fan of a different sports team than me isn't worth having an argument over. Someone shopping at a store I don't believe in (such as Target) isn't worth having an argument over. People are free agents, and need to follow their own convictions. I'm not the conviction police. Someone liking different things than I do isn't worth it. For example, I don't particularly find Joel Osteen to be spiritually fulfilling in what he says, but some people really like him and share his sayings. It isn't worth it to me to refute that with them. That is between them and God, just as my opinion is between myself and God. On the other hand, a lot of people I'm friends with and follow really dislike Rick Warren, whereas I don't share their disdain. I don't try to argue with them about it if they post something against him, though. That isn't my concern. It's somebody's, but not mine. I will tell you what is always worth it to me, and that is the gospel, a biblical worldview, and things that follow along those lines. I will often also stand against legalism (which is why I will often react to John MacArthur quotes). Historical accuracy and truth are important to me as well. So many falsehoods are being told about our founding fathers nowadays, and I think it is healthy to challenge the leftist rhetoric now and then--not because I believe it will change them, but I believe they need to be challenged, and people need to see that and hold them accountable. ...the truth will set you free (John 8:32). As I said, some of these things might not be your fight. Maybe God hasn't called you to engage. That is okay, but you need to determine what is worth it to you, personally.
Have a realistic goal
In Matthew 10:16, Jesus told the disciples, I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. If you are speaking truth, you are in enemy territory. That must be understood going into it. Realize that, in speaking the truth, you will likely not bring about an instant, total 180 change in anyone. The people who read what you say will already have deeply-held beliefs in place. Just reading one person's statement online isn't going to automatically dispel their beliefs. Recognize this. Instead of having a goal to totally change other people (which we can't do anyway), have the goal of being a witness to the truth, regardless of the outcome. Have the goal of giving someone something to think about. It is true that your one statement probably won't make an immediate change in anyone, but it might give them something to really think about later on, and might be used by God as part of a what will bring about lasting change. Also, realize that some people will like and agree with you, but others will not. It is their right to disagree with you, and they might not be kind. You have to have thick skin. Online dialogue is not for the faint of heart. Quite frankly, there are days I'm not up for it. Don't expect high praise from everyone. If you say and do right, you will receive the honor of the Lord, and that should be our real motive.
Be as kind and courteous as you can
I quoted the first part of Matthew 10:16 earlier. The second part of the verse reads, ...be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. Be wise and intelligent in what you say. Do your homework. But in actual connecting with people, be innocent and kind. There is nothing virtuous or good about insulting people. Don't use fighting words. Fighting words can include name-calling, as well as words like stupid, foolish, or even more benign (yet passive-aggressive) words, such as obviously, clearly, or other things like this. Use I and me statements if you can, as opposed to you and we statements. Resist the urge to try and speak for everyone on your side. Admittedly, it feels more powerful and compelling to say, "We Christians are sick of you atheists..." or something like that, but don't try to lump everyone with you. Speak for yourself, in first person. A few months ago, I witnessed a political argument on Facebook, and one person was calling the other person stupid, and making all these false assertions about them. It was incredibly rude. That certainly wouldn't make anyone change their views to join your side. It will have the opposite effect. They will be more convinced than ever that people who hold your view are mean-spirited and cruel, and unable to come up with an intelligent answer. It is much better to ask questions about their beliefs and have a respectful dialogue than to attack them. People still might not change their outlook, but they will be a lot more receptive to yours if you are kind. Name-calling and accusations are not the way to go. It is best to detach from the situation as you respond. Recognize that there are beautiful, intelligent, likable people who hold views that oppose yours. Treat them accordingly, even if they are wrong.
Don't give your heart away
This kind of goes with the previous point. You don't want to become vulnerable to these online strangers. By that, I mean, don't share or respond from a place of emotion. It is okay to share personal details if you want to, especially if it helps make your point, but do it carefully and wisely. But by all means, do not show people that they have the power to trigger you. That is giving them permission to hurt you. These people often don't know or care about you at all. They don't deserve access to your emotions. Even if they make you very angry, keep your bearings when you respond. James 1:19 says, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.
Have a realistic view of the other person or people
I already said this, but these people are not all foolish, stupid idiots. They might be very nice, smart people who happen to believe differently than you or I do on a certain point. Maybe they are 100% wrong, but that doesn't cancel out their good, God-given qualities, or their value as a human being. Recognize that these people are not your enemy. If the issue you are refuting is spiritual, then they might be deceived by the enemy, but they are not the enemy themselves. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood... (Ephesians 6:12). On the other hand, also realize that this person doesn't matter to your life (unless you actually know them). Don't let them get to you. They are inconsequential. Like you, they will get up from their computer, go eat dinner, do something fun with a friend or family member, and move on from this exchange you are having with them. As I said, detach from them.
Determine who is worth it
Some people are worth responding to, and some are not. It can be hard to determine. I recently made a comment about something, where I explained the differences between Mormonism and Christianity (the post I was commenting on was trying to say they were the same). I was very respectful, clinical even. Someone replied to me that Mormons and Christians were both just different forms of being brainwashed, one with the Book of Mormon and the other with the Bible, but we were both just brainwashed. He went on to bring up some things he saw as contradictions within the Bible. The arguments he was making against the Bible had holes in them, and very simple explanations. I really sensed that he was just being nasty, and that he wasn't truly asking these questions, but just throwing these things in my face. I didn't sense a searching heart. I decided to reply, however, and this is basically what I said: "You have raised some interesting points. If you want to talk about them, I'd be happy to. There are answers to the questions you are raising. From the tone of your comment, I get the impression you really don't want the answers, though, but just want to criticize Christianity. But if, on the off chance, you do want to have a conversation, I would be happy to answer your concerns." Anyway, he responded that I was welcome to talk to him about the Bible, but he has chosen to listen to spirits who talk to him instead, and the spirits told him not to believe in the Bible. Okay, at that point, I felt there was no level playing field. We weren't arguing from the same source. He was dead-set in his deceptive beliefs, and would not be receptive to anything I said. I chose not to respond to him further. Another person did, however, and told him he would be praying for him to know the truth of God's word, which I thought was great. But I had to make that determination that this person wasn't coming from a place of being receptive to me or what I was saying. It just wasn't worth it. But I did feel like initially challenging his assertions, and I think that was powerful. Everyone who reads that thread will see that I didn't back down from his criticisms of the Bible. I don't think he was expecting me to have answers for him, either. When I did, and offered to talk with him, he changed the game and said spirits were telling him not to listen. When people just say hurtful and insulting things, I won't dignify that with a response at all. Generally, if I feel something is said out of a true desire to understand, or genuine questions are being asked, I am willing to engage. Other times, if someone makes a very fallacious statement, I might engage, if only to challenge them, and giving others reading the thread some food for thought. It truly is a case-by-case thing. If someone wants to just be mean, or argue for the sake of arguing, there is no point for me. If someone is not arguing from a point where I can even relate to them, I usually won't try.
As Christians, and as people who care about the truth, we are on a mission to bring people to Christ. With the internet, we have a wider access to reach others. We also have a wider access to experience conflict. Sometimes, I'm just not up for that. Other times, I feel led. You need to do what God has led you to do. I hope the points I have shared (learned through trail and error) are helpful, whether you're online or just talking in person with people you meet and rub shoulders with. Hopefully, you won't get cancelled like I was...but it's more and more common. Let's pray that God will open doors for us to be used of Him, whatever needs to happen! Until next time...
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