And he loved her

      What passage has helped you through a confusing time in your life?  Is there any verse or chapter out of the Bible that really stands out, that God used to encourage and direct you?  

     Right now, my husband and I are in the process of adopting, and it is a waiting game.  Since we are adopting through the Cherokee Nation, that narrows the possible children down from the amount we would have if we were going through the foster system (and we don't knock any system.  We just feel led this direction).  But is there more we're supposed to do?  Should we change some of our criteria for children we could care for?  Should we go through a different agency?  Or are we doing all we can, and it's up to God now?

      At an earlier time in life (and I have many friends who have struggled with this as well, and some still are), I really waited on the Lord in the area of singleness/marriage.  Was I supposed to take action?  Was I supposed to be totally passive?  Did I need to leave the church I was at and join one with more available men?  I got so much advice, and it left me dizzy and discouraged.  What was I really supposed to do?

     Waiting for marriage, or waiting for adoption may not be your areas of struggle and waiting, but you surely have something in your life that you haven't been sure how to pursue.  

     One passage that has really encouraged me in these times of waiting and wondering about decisions has been Genesis 24.  It greatly encouraged me about waiting for my husband, but also encourages me in every other area.  There is so much we learn about God, ourselves, and what we're supposed to do in this chapter, and it's a lot easier than all the advice everyone gives us!  Let's take a look.

1) God's direct, angelic guidance

     This chapter starts with Abraham as an elderly man.  He is concerned about his son Isaac, who is not yet married.  Abraham wants Isaac to marry a godly woman with whom he can continue God's chosen people for another generation.  So what does Abraham do?  He calls his servant (whose name is never given to us) and asks him to go back to his home country to find a wife for Isaac.  The servant has some questions (which I'll come back to).  Abraham gives his servant assurance of the promise God has given him, and tells him that God's angel will guide him in this endeavor.  ...he shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence. (verse 7).  This should give a biblical basis for the fact that God directly guides our lives.  

     To quote Benjamin Franklin, God governs in the affairs of man.  I hasten to add that Benjamin Franklin wasn't a born-again Christian, but he was a God-fearer, and this statement is scriptural.  We see all through the Bible how God directly intervenes in the lives of people.  A lot of Christians I know almost remind me of the Deists in early America--those who believe God set the world in motion, but hasn't been involved since.  These Christians theoretically believe God is involved, but they just take a passive approach to life, and never seek God's guidance.  They fail to see the connection between what is happening in their lives and what is happening in the spiritual realm, what God may be doing.  That is a very one-dimensional way to live.  No thank you!  

     We see other passages where God speaks about guiding us directly.  Psalm 32:8 says, I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.  Isaiah 30:21 says, And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.  In the New Testament, we are told that the Holy Spirit guides us into all truth (John 16:13).  God is perfectly able to guide us, and He will if we're able to listen and obey.  

Your efforts are your responsibility, but the results are not.

     As Abraham instructed his servant, he servant asked questions (again, I will touch on that in the next point).  As I read his dialog with Abraham, it seems to me that he was concerned about where his responsibility ended.  If the girl he met wasn't willing to return with him to Canaan, was he supposed to bring Isaac back to Abraham's home country?  Abraham quickly assured him this wasn't the case, and told him in verse 8: if the woman will not be willing to follow thee, then thou shalt be clear from this my oath...

     Abraham told the servant what he expected of him, and once he had done all he'd been asked, his job was done.  Abraham recognized that this servant had no control over other people.  There is a very limited number of things we can control.  There are a few more things we can control if other people cooperate with the way we want it done.  But God is the only one ultimately in charge.  We can't control the outcome.  We can just do what we've been given to do.  This is true in all areas of our lives.  Christians are called to share the gospel (Mark 16:15, ...Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.).  But we are never commanded to save anyone.  In fact, Acts 2:47 assures us: And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.  God does the work in hearts and lives.  We are the obedient messengers.  That is all we are called to do, in all things.  

     In applying this passage to my past experience of wondering if I was called to leave my church and go to a larger one with more men, I can see that I was simply called to obey God's leading in my life (which was to serve in the church He had led me to) and let Him do the rest.  I'm not advocating passivity. I'm not encouraging us to be complacent.  We should seize every opportunity God gives us.  But we also shouldn't allow ourselves to be pressured into pursuing something that takes us out of God's specific will for us.  Ephesians 5:17 says, Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.  

Get specific 

     I've heard some Christians talk about God's "sovereign will" or His "permissive will" to explain the unexplainable.  There is truth to that.  We can't understand all of God's ways and workings.  Isaiah 40:13 says, Who has measured the Spirit of the LORD, or what man shows him his counsel?  

     However, having said that, we also need to realize that we can seek God specifically, and we should.  We already saw how God wants to lead and guide us.  Knowing this about our God, we can ask Him the specific questions.  We can do the same with the people in our lives.  Abraham's servant asked very specific questions of Abraham (verse 5).  He wanted to make sure he was doing right.  It is good and right to confirm what we're supposed to be doing.  

     After he had directions from his master Abraham, the servant didn't just stop there.  He sought the Lord for very specific guidance.  He knew he had a big job to do, and needed God's help.  In verses 12-14, the servant puts what we would call a fleece before the Lord (but it wouldn't have been called a fleece, because that terminology is in reference to Gideon, who sought God's guidance in Judges 6--many years after this narrative in Genesis).  The servant asked God for very specific confirmation about the right woman that He intended to be Issac's wife.  He asked that this woman would offer to water his camels after he asked for a drink for himself.  This servant was truly seeking God's will, and God honored that.  

     Some people doubt the wisdom of putting out a fleece (again, the term is in reference to a much later story).  I think it's something to be careful about.  Even when Gideon asked for his fleece in the book of Judges, he wasn't totally convinced of God's will, and had to ask for additional confirmation.  By contrast, I believe Abraham's servant was truly seeking God in faith.  That's the example for us.  If your heart is to really know and do the will of God, God will guide.  Jeremiah 29:13 tells us, You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.  How do you know when you're seeking with all your heart?  Is it a feeling you're supposed to get?  Is it when you get some result?  I believe this is when you truly want God's will above all else, and are committed to obeying in faith whatever God shows you.  19th century evangelist and orphanage director George Mueller prayed that his heart would get to the point that it had no will of its own.  He said,  Nine-tenths of the difficulties are overcome when our hearts are ready to do the Lord's will, whatever it may be.  Surrender is the key.

God is glorified, and a soul is saved.     

     We know very little about this mysterious servant.  But we can see that he earnestly wanted to do right.  In verse 12, the servant referred to the Lord as Abraham's God, and yet had enough faith in his master's God to seek His will and make a specific request.  He acted in faith, even if he wasn't claiming God for his own Savior yet.  In verse 21, after Rebekah meets the criterion he had just prayed for, the servant takes it all in, to see if God was really doing this.  In verse 26, he then worshipped the Lord.  God had glorified Himself in the eyes of this man.  In verse 27, he again refers to Him as Abraham's God.  He also does this as he recounts the story to Rebekah's family.  However, in verse 52, after Rebekah's family has given him their blessing, he again worships God, and in verse 56, he simply calls God The Lord, saying ...the Lord hath prospered my way...

     We don't know this man's real story of faith.  Perhaps he already believed and feared the true God, but used the terms "Abraham's God" as a formality, but this story seems very much like his own personal salvation story.  He saw the power of Abraham's God.  He sought God's guidance, then rejoiced when he received it.  He claimed God as the Lord.  If nothing else, this man definitely grew in faith through seeing God work in this situation.  When God works, it brings people to Himself.  As He works out His will in your life, others who see what He does will glorify God too!  

     After Jesus had raised Lazarus from the dead (a major miracle in anyone's book), we are told in John 11:45, Therefore many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did, believed in him.  After the earthquake that opened the prison doors in Acts 16 (yet none of the prisoners had escaped), the Philippian jailer recognized God at work, and immediately asked, Sirs, what must I do to be saved? (verse 30). Seeing an act of God brings people to faith in Him!  

Diligence pays off

     Rebekah knew nothing about the fervent prayers of the servant, but she offered to water his camels (verse 19).  This went beyond the social expectation of the day.  This was not a simple task of filling a water dish for a pet.  In verse 10, we are told that the servant had taken ten of Abraham's camels.  Some believe Rebekah would have had to draw somewhere between 140 and 250 gallons of water from the well, and possibly taken hours.  This was all for someone she didn't even know.  She worked hard, and was richly rewarded for it! 

     While we are completely dependent on God's guidance and action in our lives, we can still work hard and be diligent people as we wait.  We are told in Colossians 3:23-24, And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.  Rebekah certainly got that reward, and we can too.  By being diligent, we are often playing right into God's plan, just as Rebekah was without knowing it.

  Rebekah made a choice

     Abraham's servant was given the blessing by Rebekah's family, but Rebekah was still consulted.  Verse 58 says,  And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go.  We have choices to make.  That is why we need to be seeking God in our own lives every day, so we discern whether an opportunity presented to us is of Him.  We need to first of all be choosing God's will for our lives, and within the larger context of that, we need to make good decisions, using what we know about God's word, and how the Holy Spirit is leading us specifically.  

    One of my favorite verses about decision-making is Proverbs 3:5-6, Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.  God guides our decisions.  This is especially true for those of us who have the Holy Spirit inside of us.  We need to ask Him to be the Lord of our choices, and He will.  

And He loved her

     This is my very favorite part of all of this!  Rebekah goes with Abraham's servant back to Canaan.  When she sees Isaac, he seems to have caught her attention, because in verse 65, she asked who he was, and when the servant told her, she put on her bridal vail.  It isn't too difficult to imagine an attraction there!   And we don't have to imagine how Isaac felt about her.  The servant told Isaac how everything had transpired, and we are told in verse 67 (the final verse in the chapter): And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.  

     This is the first time in scripture (and therefore in history) that it actually mentions a man loving a woman.  This isn't to say that Adam didn't love Eve, or that Noah didn't love his wife, or that Abraham didn't love Sarah.  I believe they all did.  But Isaac and Rebekah's story was a true romance, and it all came about by God's guidance. I think it is the most romantic story in the Bible, and when I was single, I had a little Bible crush on Isaac!  He was the only patriarch who was a one-woman man...because "he loved her."  

     Also worth noting, Rebekah was a comfort to Isaac after he lost his mother.  Part of love involves heartwarming comfort. 

     We don't even know if Isaac was aware that the servant was trying to find him a wife.  And that's a lesson for us.  God is often at work orchestrating things when we have no idea.  

Summing it all up

     There's a lot in this passage, particularly about God's guidance. It is probably understandable why this passage helped me as I waited on God for my husband, since it is about Isaac and Rebekah's marriage.  But it can be applied to all areas of life.  We need to seek God's guidance, like Abraham's servant did.  Don't feel pressured to take things into your own hands.  Let God show you what He wants you to do, and obey Him.  

     So what can we do?  A Bible study leader I had many years ago used to encourage us to ask God to give us a glimpse into what He was doing.  I believe that is equivalent to what the servant did.  Ask God to give you that glimpse.  He does, if you are truly seeking Him and His will for you.  He often gave those glimpses to the Apostle Paul (this post is long enough, but if you want references, check out Acts 16:9-10; Acts 18:10, Acts 27:23-24), and He gave a very big glimpse to John (the book of Revelation).  He will instruct you and teach you.  Your job is to obey Him to the best of your ability, and then sit back and enjoy the ride!