Shiny Happy People

      I can't say I have ever been part of a cult, or a seriously high-control group, but even good groups can get a bad leader.  I think high control situations are fascinating, because we can all relate to them in different ways.  Maybe you were part of a real cult.  Or maybe you were part of a group of friends on the playground, with one stronger personality calling all the shots.  Or maybe you were in something between these two extremes.  But I think we all relate to the elements of high-control groups.  Thinking for oneself is so vital, because even intelligent people can be swayed and taken in.  

     I have watched the new docuseries on Amazon Prime, Shiny Happy People.  This four-part story covers the organization known as the Institute of Basic Life Principles (IBLP), founded by now-disgraced leader Bill Gothard.  I have mentioned this organization before.  I have never been a part of it, thankfully.  And yet some aspects of control they exert would seem familiar to anyone who has been in a manipulative, controlling situation.  

     This docuseries appears to be about the famous (now infamous) Duggar family, but is really about the organization that influenced them, and their rise to fame.  One person in the docuseries referred to the Duggar's TV show as PR for Bill Gothard's agenda.  The Duggars made it onto a popular reality show in the late 2000's and early 2010's by being a mega family with homespun wit and attractive quirkiness.  But this documentary alleges (and history has demonstrated) that something more sinister was beneath the smiles, and this involves all of the IBLP, not just the Duggar family.  The Duggar's daughter, Jill Duggar Dillard and her husband Derek are major players in this docuserires.  They share a lot.  At the opening of the first episode, seated on a couch beside her supportive husband, Jill says, "There's a story that's going to be told, and I'd rather be the one telling it."   I feel that sharing one's story is a key element in this.

Derek and Jill Dillard

     "The IBLP teachings are not Christianity.  They're something entirely different," Former IBLP follower Brooke Arnold shares.  She and several former IBLP adherents are interviewed, and their stories are shared.  One of the quotes I found interesting was: "Gothard turned every father into a cult leader, and every home into an island."  Another was, "The Institute raises little predators."  These former followers are in different stages and walks of life now.  They are determining what they actually believe now, and where they stand.  

     I didn't watch 17 Kids and Counting while it was originally on (or any of its name versions, as more children were added to the family), but I was aware of the impact this program had over the way Christianity was perceived.  The Duggars were defining what it meant to be Christian, Conservative, Baptist, and home-schooled on their terms (interestingly, I am all of these things myself--Christian, Conservative, Baptist, and I was home-schooled), and my life and convictions are very different than theirs on several counts.  

     The hard thing for me was when I would hear people disagree with them over the years, but say things like, "Those idiots!  This family actually believes Jesus died on the cross!  What morons!"  Well, that makes me a moron too (I say that facetiously, because I obviously don't think believing in Jesus is moronic).  Nobody said anything like that about them on the docuseries.  That was why I appreciated Brooke Arnold's comment that the IBLP teachings are not Christianity.  It's about time that was stated publicly.  I would definitely agree with the Duggars on the fundamentals of the faith, but beyond that, I have some real differences.  But because they showed their brand of Christianity (which, sadly, is more about lifestyle than Jesus), people equated Christ with their unusual convictions.  Even on this docuseries, when trying to make some points about how conspiracy-theory-oriented they were, it showed them espousing belief in Creationism, which is one of those things I agree with them on (see my January 5, 2023 post It couldn't Just Happen in which I give a lot of scientific reasons to believe in Creationism).  I hate when weirdos give the rest of us who take the Bible literally a bad name.  Side note, in my early 20's, a Christian man in my hometown proposed marriage to me, but I turned him down, as he believed in Darwinian Evolution, and believed it was compatible with the Bible.  That was a non-negotiable to me.  

     I was aware of the Duggar's influence, but I became a lot more familiar with them in 2015, when their oldest son Josh was exposed for some of his past misdeeds.

     By way of brief explanation, the IBLP was founded by Bill Gothard in 1961.  He did what was called the Basic Seminar, which introduced people to the principles he advocated.  The organization included more conferences and seminars, and grew to include a home-schooling program called the Advanced Training Institute (or ATI for short).  Gothard exerted a lot of control over the lives of his followers, telling them how they were allowed to dress, behave, and pattern their lives.  The teachings on authority were controversial at best, evil at worst.  The IBLP has been described by some as a cult.  ATI no longer exists as a home-school program, but their books are being sold just as a regular study for anyone who wants them.

     Through the four episodes of Shiny Happy People, the viewer is introduced to the world of IBLP, and the perversion it represented to a lot of people.  Bill Gothard taught his followers that if they followed his principles, God would bless them, which is a form of the prosperity gospel.  The ATI homeschool curriculum really didn't teach much at all, though Bill Gothard claimed it was equivalent to a pre-law or pre-med degree.  He taught his people to follow him so much that no one said anything when he broke his own rules, and molested young women.  It was clear he had a "type" he found particularly attractive, and he gave these young women special privileges working with him at headquarters.  He felt long curly hair was the best, and one of the former followers shared that Bill Gothard once pulled her aside and told her that her hair wasn't Christlike enough.  Can you even imagine?  Women were supposed to submit to men, and very strong gender roles were enforced.  I knew all of this about the IBLP, but what I didn't realize was the reason for this.     

     I discovered from this documentary that the goal of Bill Gothard and the IBLP is ultimately world domination.  That sounds so bizarre.  Gothard and his people subscribe to a belief known as dominionism.  This is the view that Christians can conquer the world through having many children and raising these children to be a big influence in society (strong emphasis in running for public office).  They use Psalm 127:5 as a so-called proof text for having large families for this purpose: Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.  Like much of the other teachings I've heard from Bill Gothard (I have limited experience), he took an obscure verse way out of context to create a whole teaching that doesn't line up with the rest of scripture.  Anyone who reads the Bible with an open heart to learn will see that creation fell in Genesis 3, and will only be made right again when Jesus returns to restore all things (Revelation 21).  Trying to take over the world for God now is futility.  This is not to say Christians shouldn't run for office or have an influence in the world.  I believe we should.  Jesus said we are the salt of the earth and light of the world (Matthew 5:13-14).  Our presence (and the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit in believers) probably keeps things from being much worse.  We are to do as God calls us each to do, to play our part on the stage of history.  We just shouldn't expect to usher in a prefect world.  Only Jesus can do that, and He will one day (without our help).  Until then, our goal should be to serve others, with the hopes of bringing them to Jesus Christ (not to promote an agenda, but so they might be saved, out of love for them).  

     As far as IBLP goes, my experiences have mostly been second-hand.  My parents attended Bill Gothard's Basic Seminar when he was presenting in Los Angeles (our home area).  I wasn't born yet.  I'm told that my parents found some things they agreed with and other things they didn't.  They just chalked it up to something interesting they attended, and moved on with their lives.  I didn't grow up under the influence of Bill Gothard.  In fact, I didn't even know his name until I was in my later teens.  I was raised to take things in with both eyes open.  I was encouraged to think for myself, and that it was okay to like what someone had to say, but still disagree with aspects of it.  In other words, I wasn't raised to follow leaders at all cost, the way Bill Gothard's followers did. 

     When I was a teenager, some of our very good friends got into the IBLP.  They became very strict compared to the rest of us.  They stopped believing in Sunday school, because, as they put it, they considered it harmful for children to be separated from their parents at church.  That seemed very odd to me, because at one time, the parents of this family had been my Sunday school teachers and AWANA leaders.  They got into what they called "biblical courtship," which confused me, because as far as I knew, the Bible didn't address courtship.  There were some romance stories in the Bible, such as Isaac and Rebekah, or Ruth and Boaz, but as I understood it (and still understand it), these stories didn't teach a step-by-step method on how God wants us to have our relationships develop, but instead, taught us to trust in God, and follow His leading for us (which might look different than His leading for someone else).  This family experienced a lot of heartache as a result of going this direction.

     When I was in my mid-20's, I was mentoring a younger woman who wanted to go into the ministry organization I served in.  I encouraged her to go to the training for our organization, which she did.  But she needed a place to land after training--a place to start out her ministry and do an internship.  I made some calls, and discovered there was an opening for her in another state (I'm going to be vague on the details to protect everyone's privacy).  We coordinated that she would serve for a year and a half in this other state, and then see where God led from there.  She would work directly under a young man not much older than herself (younger than me at the time, in fact).  While talking with him in helping set up this internship, I heard more about the IBLP and things associated with it.  This young man was part of the IBLP while simultaneously being part of our organization (which has nothing to do with IBLP whatsoever!).  At that time, I wasn't even sure this was the same thing my old friends had gotten mixed up in.  During this young woman's time interning under this IBLP-associated young leader, she would call me in tears at times.  She always tried to be humble and modest in her clothing (which basically means she dressed tastefully for the situation).  But according to her mentor, she was "defrauding" him.  She was shocked by this accusation.  She knew the word defraud meant to deceive, and she had no idea how she was deceiving him.  We would later learn that in IBLP, defraud means something very different than it does to most English-speakers.  In IBLP's definition, it means to arouse desires that couldn't be righteously fulfilled.  That horrified my young friend that this guy was basically telling her he was lusting after her, and it was apparently her fault.  She was made to wear clothes several sizes too big so her female shape was completely hidden.  She was not allowed to wear pants, because, according to what she was told, the space between a woman's legs when she wore pants was the shape of an arrow pointing up her crotch.  Eeew!  Yuck!  Whoever even thought of that had to be a real sicko!  If that is true, it's true for men as well as women, so maybe men should wear dresses too (I say that facetiously).  

     When I was twenty-six, I was invited to a small group that would be watching the videos of Bill Gothard's Basic Seminar.  I figured, "Why not?"  Like my parents before me, I found a few practical nuggets, but disagreed with a lot.  The session that had our group the most upset was the one about music.  Bill Gothard made a lot of assertions about music awakening the flesh, and being demonic, etc.  Several in our group were very offended by this, because they liked Christian rock, and felt Bill Gothard was being very extreme.  I didn't mind that aspect quite as much, although I didn't think he was right.  It just didn't hit a nerve with me.  I can take or leave rock music.  But what upset me much more was that he made assertions that single women had to live with their parents until they got married.  I was twenty-six, still single, a college-graduate, a working professional, and a homeowner.  He had no biblical reasoning behind saying this, other than a flimsy excuse I've shared on here before: If Rachel and Leah had gotten an apartment somewhere, they would never have met Jacob.  That is very poor hermeneutics.  The Bible doesn't teach what he was trying to make it say.  This is just like this teaching about having as many children as possible for world domination.  But these examples are it for me as far as my experience with the IBLP.  Bill Gothard looks for weird, obscure teachings, rather than focusing on what the entirety of scripture says.  

     Gothard's sexual problems trickled down into his organization.  There were many, many stories of spousal and child abuse in IBLP families.  Their whole system was set up so victims would be submissive to the point that they would never complain about abuse.  Several teachings silenced victims.  One of them was that, if a woman was attacked and she didn't scream out while the abuse was happening, she was just as guilty as her attacker, and it was her own fault it happened.  This kept Gothard above accountability, since none of his victims screamed out when he came onto them.  They were shocked and afraid, and they respected him too much to scream in the moment.  Having this rule in place would make it their fault if they ever reported him later.

     As for Josh Duggar and his sickening crimes (not only had he molested his sisters and cheated on his wife, but he was more recently found guilty of possessing child porn, and is in a federal prison), he was really not much different from Bill Gothard.  Some of the Duggars' former friends, the Holt family, were on the documentary, and they shared how their daughter had originally been Josh's first choice in a wife.  They had been courting as teenagers, but after he molested his sisters, the Duggars told the Holts about it because they viewed it as Josh "cheating" on his future wife.  When pressed by Jim Holt, Jim-Bob Duggar admitted that they had used the Holts' daughter "as a carrot" to correct his son's behavior, as he was going to have him come forward with his behavior after they were married.  I find that sickening.  The Duggars wouldn't allow the Holts to use the word "molest" in reference to what Josh had done.  

Bill Gothard

     In this whole organization, so many people were afraid to speak up for a long time.  Now, there is a website for those wounded by Bill Gothard or the IBLP to share.  It's called Recovering Grace.  Likewise, Jill Duggar Dillard was afraid to share her story, because of the pressure from her family.  After her brother's abuse came out, she was required by her parents (even though she was a married woman by then) to go on TV and defend Josh in an interview with Megyn Kelly.  She deeply regrets this now, and even talking about it was a real struggle for her.  She and Derek shared about how they never received money from their time being on the show, and how her parents manipulated them and cheated them (even when they were relying on a food bank for survival).  When they finally took a stand, they became at odds with the family.  They have grown a lot, and they are coming out with a memoir next year, entitled Counting the Cost.  I really look forward to reading it and sharing their story.  

     Evil must be exposed.  False doctrine must be exposed.  People must speak up and share their story.  I have never been part of a crazy group like the IBLP.  I had a very "normal" childhood (everyone probably thinks that about how they were brought up).  I lived in a suburban neighborhood where we rode our bikes with neighbor friends in the afternoons and on Saturdays.  We had a big playground in our backyard, and all the kids liked to come to our house.  My mom taught a weekly Bible Club in our garage, and all the kids came for that.  I babysat younger kids in town as I got older.  We were home-schooled, but not like the IBLP.  My mother was a credentialed public school teacher.  While teaching in the 70's, she felt that the public school system was very one-sided in the worldview it was promoting.  See, it's easy to say that IBLP brainwashes its people, and yet any group with a specific worldview could do that.  My mom didn't want us to be brainwashed.  She wanted us to think for ourselves.  We used a curriculum many Christian schools use, but there were times we didn't agree with everything in it.  We were taught how to think, rather than what to think.  We grew up watching the regular TV shows most of our friends watched, but we sometimes discussed a show afterwards, if it led to a deeper conversation.  I had a boyfriend in the youth group in junior high (which I now consider silly and stupid, but it was part of growing up).  When I graduated from high school, I went to community college, and then chose to go to Bible college and get my BA in biblical studies.  I entered the workforce at 17.  In all of this, I felt like I had a "normal" life.  

     In spite of this "normal" life, I experienced some spiritual abuse at church as a young teenager.  A few years later as a young adult, I was molested on a mission trip.  In both of these instances, I was pressured into silence, and I didn't talk about either of these things for years and years, until I almost exploded one day.  I now share my story.  Unlike the people in this docuserires, I don't usually name these people.  Even so, I have had people become angry and tell me I have no right to talk about it without the other person there to defend themselves.  This is ridiculous.  When Corrie ten Boom wrote The Hiding Place, she didn't round up all the Nazis who had tortured her and let them share their side.  It is never my goal to hurt anyone.  It is my goal to speak the truth.  The truth sets us free (John 8:32).  I can relate to those who were hurt by the IBLP, in the sense that it takes a lot of processing before you can really share aloud.  It's easy to say, "Am I crazy here?" even when something is happening.  This is even more the case when other people in the situation are defending the one who is causing the harm.  Sometimes, the person who harms can also be someone who did something very beneficial for others, and the contradiction makes you feel crazy, or even guilty.  

     Don't be afraid to share your story.  Jesus is the Truth (John 14:6) and He offers you relief.  Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.  Matthew 11:28-30.  The truth might crack a facade of what was once considered a godly work, but it can never bring down the Gospel, or the truth of Jesus.  If something can be brought down by truth, it deserves to be brought down.  If anything can be gleaned from this docuseries, that is what I considered the takeaway.  Don't just be "shiny, happy people," hiding abuse and mistreatment.  Speak the truth.  Share your story.  Let Jesus carry you!