Homeschooled

     I just saw a pro-homeschooling FB post asking the question: "Does homeschooling make kids weird?"   It was a link to a very pro-homeschool article about how the stigma of homeschooling has changed for the better, but how some are still concerned about socialization.  The article attempted to answer the concerns.  Having been homeschooled in the 80s and 90s, when there was a lot of misunderstanding about it, and a lot of untrue stereotypes, it did affect me psychologically.   Here was my response in the comments (I know it is long for a comment.  Please excuse that it isn't divided into paragraphs):

My mother and me, 1991.  I was a preteen homeschooler, who was active in church, neighborhood and community, and my mom was loved by everyone in town.

     I am going to preface what I want to say by explaining that I was homeschooled in the 80s and 90s, and we fit in with our neighborhood friends, and were very much a part of the community.  We were the Christian family that everyone came to in crisis, and that was more our identity than being homeschooled.  After school hours and all day Saturdays, we were out riding bikes with neighbor kids.  We had a big swingset in the yard, and everyone loved coming over.  So we weren't abnormal. Our homeschool was registered as a Christian school through our church, with our pastor's wife as the principal and the moms as teachers, with several classes throughout the week.  We had good friends in this homeschool group, and they were also our church and AWANA friends, and we saw them several times a week. We had field trips, park days, skating rink parties, and yearbooks.   All that to say, we had a really good social circle.  My brother and I were on a bowling league in junior high, and my sister played soccer.  I babysat for families in the neighborhood and church.  I think we were very well-rounded.  But what always hurt me was when adults who disliked homeschooling would ask me (the child) and not my mom (the parent) how we were supposed to get social skills if our parents insisted on homeschooling us.  It humiliated me.  I felt like these adults were just telling me, "You're not normal.  Something is wrong with you."  It's inappropriate to put kids on the spot like that.  It's wrong to criticize a parent's choice to their children.   They should have been directing these questions to my parents.  Since homeschooling didn't have the acceptance back then that it does today, it affected me psychologically (not being homeschooled itself, but some of the fear and hostility about it back then).  Because it wasn't as openly accepted back then, and didn't have the protection it does now, all of us in our church school were taught to say we went to Corona Heights Christian School (the name of our school), and not readily disclose that we were homeschooled.  It wasn't a secret per se, but just not everyone else's business.   Because of that, to this day, I don't always share that I was homeschooled.  I'm not ashamed at all.  It's just a holdover from the 80s.  In my home state of California, homeschoolers don't list themselves as homeschoolers.  Families who do it independently might file as a private school with the state, or, some, like us, had a larger homeschool group that filed as a private school.  I share that to say that nowhere in my records or transcripts does it say I was homeschooled, and I'm still just kind of private about it.  When I went to Bible college, my profs didn't realize I had been homeschooled until halfway through my time there, and when they found out, they were shocked and said I didn’t act like other homeschoolers.  When I asked what they meant, they said, "You're actually punctual!"  The homeschoolers they'd had were always late and not used to needing to be in class on time.  This had given the staff at the college a bad impression of homeschoolers.  That's sad to me.  They believed homeschoolers were academically intelligent, and did well (the good part of the perception) but were always late.  I hope I helped balance out their perception on the negative part.  My son is in a Classical Christian school,  and I teach 1st grade there [in case you didn't know, I'm continuing with our ministry, and also taking on this position at Tommy's soon-to-be school this fall].  I take it a year at a time.  I'd be very open to homeschooling him.  Kind of a cool story.  I met Christian author Elaine Schulte in 1991 at a Christian bookstore, and she was super friendly and asked me about myself.  When she discovered I was homeschooled, she was very interested and asked all these questions.  It seemed like she wasn't familiar with homeschooling prior to our conversation.  Several months later, her next book came out, and it had a homeschooled character in it!  I always wondered if she got the idea from me!

The Ginger Trumbell series, by Elaine L. Schulte, a strongly Christian series.  The final book, Go for It! was about the homeschooled character, and it came out about eight months after our conversation at the bookstore.

     My comment aside, I think my parents did it right.  I had a well-rounded life.  I was ready to face the world when I hit adulthood, and was ready to succeed in college and career.  But most importantly, I was ready to seek the Lord's leading in my life, and listen for His voice to guide me every step.  I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. (Psalm 32:8).

     Every family needs to do as the Holy Spirit leads.   Most importantly, as fellow Christians, we need to support each other, even if God has led us differently than He led someone else.  If someone is called to homeschool, family and friends should respect that.  If someone concludes the best thing for their family is private or public education, that should also be supported by friends and family. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand. Romans 14:4. Everyone is accountable to God, not to you or me, for their decisions.  

     A friend once pointed out to me that parents are responsible for their children, regardless of what form of education they have.  Regardless of schooling, it is the parents' job to Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.  Proverbs 22:6.  Do as God leads you!  That's all any of us can do.