The More the Merrier...Maybe

     I am currently teaching preschool.  In my career over the years, I have worked with students aged two through high school.  Right now, I am dealing with a clique problem in the three-year-old class I teach.  Believe it or not, this is a boy clique.  Three adorable three-year-old boys are excluding a fourth.  One of these boys is the center of the clique.  He controls the other two, and they do his bidding.  On their own, these two are nice.  Yesterday, I had finally had it.  I broke up their little group and sent them all different directions.  The two followers quickly found other children to play with.  The ringleader just walked around, wide-eyed, almost in shock.  He just paced nervously until it was time for the next activity.  Several times, he was encouraged to engage in play with others, but he was in too much shock without his power base.

     This has reminded me of my long-standing commitment to making any class I teach a safe place for every student.  I don't mean that in the way many people mean "safe" nowadays. I don't mean everyone is entitled to be agreed with or catered to.  But what I do mean is that everyone should come in, be acknowledged for who they are, be encouraged for what they contribute, and treated respectfully by others, given the chance to make lasting friendships (whether they do or not is their responsibility).

     The biggest threat to this safe environment is cliques.  Just to clarify, a clique is not the same as a group of friends with similar interests.  Cliques are controlling and insecure, usually held together for the purposes of power.  Hurting and excluding others is a major thing for cliques.  They are more common with girls, but exist with boys too (as evidenced by the little boy clique in our classroom right now).  

     I just had a valuable discussion with two others on Facebook about cliques.  One person agreed with me about how damaging they are, and the need to separate them.  The other person said that, rather than be split up, they need reminders to include others.  As the discussion went on, though, it turned out this person was really using the term "clique" to just mean a group of close friends within a larger group.  By that definition, I agree with him.  Groups of friends may need an occasional reminder to include others, but they aren't usually attempting to exclude.  They are held together by mutual respect and common interests, as opposed to cliques being held together by power and insecurity.  Friendship is completely natural and to be expected.  I have people I'm closer with than others at work, church, etc.  Jesus had his twelve closest friends, and within that, he had his three he was even closer with.  They certainly weren't a clique.  When I talk about cliques, I'm talking about mean cliques, not simply close groups of friends.  Just so we're clear on what I mean...

     I feel that God has given me this passion to eradicate cliques wherever I encounter them.  We all have a calling, and I feel this is mine.  It isn't just best for other people the clique is hurting.  It is best for the members of the clique.  They're heading down a damaging road, and taking their power away can put them at the place where they're able to make needed changes in their lives.  

     I believe this is a spiritual battle.  It is met with resistance at times.  A while back, I was a junior high teacher.  I taught a Bible class for a group of home-schooled kids.  I did this for a few years.  They were mostly very sweet kids.  One girl in the group, though, was a problem.  I'll call her Amanda (not her real name).  Amanda would act embarrassingly shy.  The first day of class, I had everyone go around the room and introduce themselves.  This went well until it got to Amanda.  She just covered her face.  Her mother happened to be there, and she exclaimed.  "My poor shy little girl!" and hugged her, adding to the awkward situation.  Several of the kids who hadn't known Amanda before looked confused and embarrassed.  What Amanda did was a lot more attention-getting than simply saying her name and letting us move on.  She basically hijacked the class for several minutes.  She was way too old for this, and her mother totally fed into it.  Most shy students I have encountered are quiet when I first meet them, then slowly warm up over time.  They generally don't say or do things to bring attention to themselves.  Amanda did not fit any other experience I had of "shy".  She was playing a game to get attention.  

     Amanda had a friend in the group.  I'll call her Susan.  Susan was actually a very sweet girl, but more of a follower.  Not a pushover, but just not a control freak.  Amanda latched onto her, and Susan didn't seem to know how to deal with it.  Susan was a bit of an introvert herself, and Amanda's mom thought this was wonderful.  She would always tell me how the two girls were exactly the same.  As I got to know them, I found that I disagreed.  Susan didn't act shy in ways that brought awkward attention.  She was simply "go with the flow".  I'll return to this.

     We had two students in that class who really stood out to me.  They were twins, a brother and sister.  I'll call them Mark and Becky.  They were kind, smart, and friendly to everyone.  They had a confidence in who they were, and didn't need other people to make them happy.  Like all of us, though, they wanted friendships.  I personally bonded with these two, and loved the way they reached out to everyone, treating everyone in the group as a friend.  Everyone liked them...except Amanda.

     Amanda retreated from Becky.  When Becky would reach out and talk to her, she wouldn't answer.  She clung more tightly than ever to Susan, and got Susan away from Becky.  Susan was never rude to Becky, but she didn't seem to know how to break free of Amanda.  My heart went out to Becky.  Here was this sweet girl who had it all going for her, being put at the bottom of the pecking order.  So not happening!  I don't do pecking orders in my class!

     Amanda even did small, subtle things to keep her hold on Susan and hold Becky at a distance.  We had a birthday tradition in our class.  When it was a student's birthday, I would bring a card for the rest of the class to sign.  On Becky's (and Mark's, as they were twins), Susan had signed her name.  When Amanda saw it, she wrote and Amanda underneath, to include her name with Susan's in the card.  A small gesture, but significant.  She couldn't stand on her own, so she made a show of power by linking herself to Susan.  The message there was "This is my friend, and together, we sign this card, as we do everything else together that you're not a part of."  

     Very quickly, I changed the seating arrangement.  I separated Amanda and Susan.  I wasn't unkind.  I didn't leave Amanda all alone.  I seated Becky beside her.  I moved everyone, so it didn't look like I was singling Amanda out.  I didn't come down on Amanda in any way.  But believe me, I heard all about it from Amanda's mom (who still maintained what a sweet, innocent, perfect child she was).  She told me I "traumatized" her every time I didn't give her her own way.  It almost got to the point where I was afraid to check my email, because Amanda's mom was constantly accusing me of "traumatizing" her baby.  

     Susan did perfectly fine without Amanda.  She bonded with everyone.  She just needed Amanda's stifling grip removed.  I struggled with Amanda and her mother for a few years.  The apple hadn't fallen far from the tree.  Amanda's mother would talk to me (as well as others) in exclusive ways.  For example, she asked one woman (the preschool teacher for the group), "When is your baby due?" when she wasn't pregnant.  It was obvious she wasn't pregnant.  Mrs. Amanda  was just mean, trying to put this other woman down to build herself up.  At the time, I was single, and Mrs. Amanda would say, "I feel so sorry for you!  It must be so awful not to have a wonderful husband like I do."  She was just nasty like that.  

     Every time Mrs. Amanda wanted her point to be taken seriously, she would begin with, "The Holy Spirit told me...".  The set up here is that if we disagree with her, we're disagreeing with God.  That was giving herself a security base.  One time (this made me want to vomit), she said, "My husband's taking me on a cruise to Jamaica, and he wants me to wear a bikini, because he thinks I look sexy that way, so I'm going to be godly and submit to him."  R-i-i-i-i-i-ght!

     She tried to get between other women and myself.  I would be talking to other moms of my students, and Mrs. Amanda had to cut in and invite them over in front of me, but not invite me.  One time, she didn't like something I had said in my class.  Rather than tell me privately, she did it in front of others, and implied that all the moms were mad at me and had come to her.  I felt horrible to have offended so many people, and I went and apologized to all of them...and it turned out they knew nothing about it, and hadn't been offended anyway.  Mrs. Amanda had lied to me to make herself look like the center of the power.  Like the whole community revolved around her.  I confronted her with her lie, and she immediately said, "Satan is using you to attack me!"  Sure he was.  More like the other way around.

     Mrs. Amanda continued trying to find ways to exclude me and be a mediator between me and other moms.  She seemed almost terrified I would talk to or be friends with other women.  When I took her power away and contacted them outside of class hours, when she wasn't around, she couldn't let this go.  She went to the higher ups, and had me dismissed from my position.  She told some ridiculous stories about me.  For whatever reason, she was believed and I was let go.  I was humiliated and hurt...but God redeemed in multiple ways. What she meant for evil, God meant for good. 

     My point in sharing this is to illustrate how the ringleader of a clique operates.  It's about power to cover up insecurity.  They are horrified of losing their power.  Both Amanda and her mom worked this way.  On TV shows, cliques are seen as targeting weak and clueless people, but that isn't reality.  Usually, cliques want the weak and clueless to be part of them.  Its the strong and confident people who are targeted.  They pose a threat to the ringleader.  The ringleader and their lackeys want to remove the threat.  

     Cliques can leave lifelong scars.  One of the people who was a part of this discussion I referred to earlier shared how she still has nightmares because of the mean girls she went to school with.  Personally, I was a target of cliques in junior high.  For many years, I believed something was wrong with me.  I couldn't see how this all worked, that I was somehow a threat.  I thought I was ugly, or unworthy or...fill in the blank.  It didn't help that I was a teenager in the shallow and materialistic 90's (before the days of High School Musical that made people in TV and movie land realize it was okay to be part of other groups).  On 90's TV, you couldn't be both smart and pretty.  Smart was almost a negative thing, and earned the reputation of being a "nerd" (which is now a label worn with pride, thankfully!).  I hated being a teen in the 90's.  I feel more nostalgic for my 80's childhood than my 90's teen years.  Yet even in my idyllic 80's life, there were cliques.  I just had enough nice people around me to ignore them.  By God's grace, one of the mean girls from junior high later wrote me a heartfelt letter, apologizing.  That couldn't have been easy, and I know God was at work.  

     I have found that this is a battle God has called me to fight.  I want to be that teacher students remember as their advocate.  The one who saw what was happening and did all in my power to stop it.  Removing the clique's power can be intimidating, but it needs to be done.  I refuse to be the teacher who was scared of the clique and let it continue, and even became buddy-buddy with it.  No way!   know that God has already changed lives through my efforts (this is Him, not me).  It's a battle worth fighting.

Watch What You Say

     I just watched an online video that has me wound up (here is the link to the video, if you want to know what I'm referencing: https://www.facebook.com/RantNationCRTV/videos/410543489449887/ ).  I need to interact with it, and pray your indulgence as I do so. This video was of a man sharing his recent experience of a Christian woman telling him she wanted to like him, but couldn't stand to look at him because of his numerous tattoos.  She said they took away from his message.  The rest of the video was a five-minute rant against Christianity.  This video is being shared and agreed with by Christians, and that scares me.

     One of the comments he made early on is that he hates religion and Christianity, although he loves Jesus.  Man-made religion is one thing, but the religion of the Bible, Christianity, is not man-made.  It is from God.  You can't love Jesus and hate His people. First John 4:20 says If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.

     This man self-righteously blasts Christians because this woman made a hurtful remark about his tattoos.  What he doesn't realize is that nobody is required to like his tattoos.  This isn't kindergarten where we have to say "happy words to all our friends."  There is no place for rudeness, but when he got those tattoos, he had to realize that not everyone likes tattoos.  He needs to take responsibility for that.  

     I once had someone who was not Caucasian make a rude remark to me because I have red hair.  It was really shocking.  It was actually a tow truck driver who almost refused to let me ride in his truck because he was so prejudiced against redheads.  I was desperate, and rode with him anyway, and the whole time, I had to listen to him put me down because of my hair, and tell me what a bad temper I supposedly  had, etc.  Now, what if I had made an online video blasting people of this man's race because of what he said to me?  Would that be right?  Would it be justified?  No way!  I would rightly be viewed as a bigot for blaming and disliking all people of this race because of this one tow truck driver.  Yet, that's what this man in the video did.  One Christian person disliked his tattoos and commented as such in an impolite way, and he's acting like a spoiled baby, saying very mean and hateful things against Christians, telling us what we're all thinking and doing.  That's a lot more judgmental than the woman's initial comment.  

     Another concern is the way he talked about the woman.  He didn't demonstrate the love and forgiveness Jesus asks of us (Luke 6:37-38).  He referred to her as "Christian" (air quotes as he said the word Christian).  In other words, he doesn't think she's really a Christian.  Now who's judgmental?  This woman made a rude comment, but nobody can deduce whether or not she's really saved based on that.  Saved people say wrong things sometimes.  We're not perfect yet.  Yet, this man thinks he has the right to determine whether or not she's born again for real.  Christianity isn't how you act.  It's who you know.  If this woman really has repented of her sins and put her faith in Jesus Christ for salvation, she is a Christian, not a "Christian".  The Lord needs to work on her heart.  What she said wasn't right.  Hopefully, the longer we walk with Christ, the less we say hurtful things to others, and the more we exemplify Christ.  But there's another point here...

     It is not judgmental to dislike tattoos.  To assume something about a person because of tattoos may or may not be be judgmental.  It really all depends.  By the same token, it isn't judgmental to dislike red hair.  We all have different things we find attractive and unattractive.  What is wrong is when we voice those things to people, or let it prejudice us against them.  I've said before and I'll say again: Judging is drawing wrong conclusions without having all the facts.  Disliking or disagreeing with something isn't judging.  People need to learn to use the word correctly. As far as God is concerned, we are free to disagree with others (and we should disagree, if it's something that goes against God's word!). I only wish we were free to do so without other humans falsely accusing us of "judging" 

     Not in any way am I defending the woman who made the hurtful comment to this man in the video.  My concern is his bitter, hateful response to all Christians.  That's what Satan wants to see, God's people put down, and even agreeing with it!  There is a trend nowadays with Christians putting Christianity down, and that really scares me.  Jesus gave His life for the church.  We belong to God.  We are not perfect, but are becoming more like Him daily.  We are in the sanctification process, and are hopefully better than we were a year ago.  I hope I am.  

     Matthew 12:36 says: But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. This is sobering, because we have all said things we shouldn't.  We need to watch what we say, especially about God's people.

Teacher and Healer

     I just received some distressing news.  A woman I care about deeply--my Bible study leader in South Dakota--has been diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease. She had had a very difficult summer, health-wise.  In fact, I didn't get to say goodbye to her in person before we moved to New Mexico, as she was indisposed.  She and I have been in touch, though, and that has been a blessing.  The following was on her Facebook update:

     Here is my latest update. 
I do have ALS-Lou Gehrig's. I have had fantastic doctors and nurses. I'll be going to Mayo but no date yet. 
My speech is slipping away but the rest of this old body is hanging in there. 
Thank you Thank you to all who have rallied around Wayne and me in prayers, cards, texts, and visits. 
Our faith and hope isn't in this world but in Jesus who has blessed us with a peace that surpasses all understanding.

     Jackie Heckathorn is known around our church for leading women's Bible studies.  I can name several woman who attribute their spiritual growth in life to Jackie's studies.  She teaches the Word of God uncompromisingly.  I remember the first Bible study I attended at her house.  She told me, "You'll never hear about me leading a study about how to have joy or something like that.  It's always going to be digging deep into the Word."

     Old and new Christians alike (even unbelievers) came to her studies, getting a deeper understanding of God's word.  It was a place where anyone could ask any question, and Jackie would dig into the Bible for the answers.

     I got an additional benefit from being in her Bible studies.

     If you've read my blog, you know that I struggled with some "mean girl" issues in the past.  I was hurt deeply by other girls in junior high (I'm not unique in that--almost no one makes in through junior high unscathed).  What made it difficult was that these girls were supposedly Christians, in my youth group.  Some very hurtful things happened.  As a result, I really struggled in my relationships with other girls, and then other women as I got older.  I went to several women's Bible studies as an adult, and all of them made me break into a cold sweat.  I would often misinterpret everything said or done as a personal slight against me.  Occasionally, there really would be a mean woman I crossed paths with, but more often then not, it was all in my head.  The one notable time I really did struggle with an adult "mean girl" in a Bible study, I handled it all wrongly, mainly because of these struggles.  And believe me when I say that I really struggled in this area of my life.  I was incredibly distrustful.  I viewed this as "staying ahead of the game" so to speak.  If I distrusted them, and they turned out to be nice, then I was okay.  But if I trusted them and they ended up being mean, I would get taken advantage of.  This was my thought pattern, wrong though it was.

     So...when Jackie first invited me to a Bible study she was leading, I wasn't so sure about it.  Something inside said to go.  So, I went.  I remember that first day, pulling up to her house.  Another woman I knew casually from church had just gotten out of her car and was walking to the front door.  My blood ran cold.  Would these ladies gang up on me?  No!  I couldn't think like that.  It had caused so much disaster in my life.  I wasn't going to let the past have power over me.  I got out of the car and also walked to the door.

     Jackie and the other woman were laughing as Jackie's dog did tricks, and I started to relax.  More ladies showed up over the next few minutes.  There was a girl there who was in her early 20's and a brand-new Christian.  She asked a lot of questions about things in the Bible.  The other lady who had shown up just as I had also asked a lot of really good questions.  These two ladies' questions steered the conversation toward different things in the Bible, and to really good places.  No one there was there to be mean.  This was the first time I trusted a group of women.  This was the first women's Bible study I can honestly say I succeeded in.

     Jackie disciples women through the Bible.  She is no-nonsense about it.  There are no games played.  The people who come to her study only stay if they want to be in the Word.

     God used Jackie, not only to be a teacher, but a healer in my life.  I really believe God healed me of my "mean girl" fears.  I am no longer scared to befriend my fellow Christian women.  I'm no longer so distrustful.

     Please pray for Jackie and her husband Wayne (who is also an in-depth Bible teacher at the church).  They are a precious couple that Walter and I have been proud to call friends.

All I Need

     Do you ever feel intimidated in witnessing situations?  Like maybe you're not adequate to reach certain people?  Maybe you need more training, etc?  I know I feel that way often.  I ask myself, "What if they ask such-and-such a question and won't accept my answer?" or "What if I offend them?"

     There are so many challenges in witnessing.  There are your average people to witness to.  People whose lives and culture are similar to yours.  These people are usually the easiest to witness to, because you share common ground with them.  For me, these people are the "All American" types.  People who work an honest job, enjoy life as they can, have some semblance of a Judaeo-Christian worldview, and are generally nice people.  These are the people I feel most comfortable witnessing to.  But not everyone fits this description, and yet those outside of that still need Jesus.  Am I equipped to reach them with the gospel?  I haven't always thought so.  

     Reaching those in a different lifestyle or culture can be intimidating, but it is very possible.  Until recently, I would freeze up if I saw a Muslim, or someone clearly caught up in the LGBT community.  I didn't think I had the answers for them.  I would be kind, but didn't try to share the gospel.  This all changed at a thrift store.

     My husband and I just moved from South Dakota to New Mexico.  We needed some things upon arrival (a new bookshelf for one), and decided to check out local thrift stores.  One of them ended up being a weird experience.  We found what we needed, at excellent prices.  But the workers were beyond what we bargained for.  

     We were greeted by a person (I thought it was a woman at first, but turned out to be a man) wearing make-up, sexy female clothes, perfectly shaved legs, and--to top it off--cat ears.  He talked to us in an odd voice that shook me to the core of my being.  The other workers in this store were also odd-looking and behaving, but a little less dramatic than this first person.  The most average-looking was a girl with a name badge that just said, "They/Them."  I asked her about it, and she replied, "Those are my pronouns.  I'm neither male nor female."  Clearly, this person was a female, but was choosing not to refer to herself that way.  I had no answer, but continued the business transaction kindly and pleasantly.  As we were leaving, we saw a sign on the wall that said it was a transgender store and hired transgender employees and gave money to help transgender causes.  We would never have given business to them if we had seen this before paying, because we believe that is against God's will.  But we believe God wanted us to go in there this once. Our spirits felt very heavy upon leaving.  These people are beloved by a God who crated them, but they are caught up in a lie.  We have been praying for them ever since.  Walter has especially felt burdened for the man dressed like a female and a cat.  

     I left that situation feeling totally intimidated about witnessing to these people.  Our twisted society has made it all but illegal to share the truth of the Bible with the LGBT community.  Everything they do is to be seen as beautiful and acceptable, and if you even remotely question this, you are hateful.  Walter and I feel nothing but love for the people at this thrift shop.  We want to see them freed from the bondage of sin.  

     Many people feel that the only way to reach people in different lifestyles (be it LGBT, some Eastern religion, or something else) is to act like it's all wonderful and beautiful.  I get very tired of the "don't judge" mantra everyone is saying today, acting like Christians are the problem (even fellow believers sometimes get into this blaming of Christians).  As Bible-beleivers, we are to "rightly divide the word of truth" (Second Timothy 2:15).  What does the word of God say?

     It says God created male and female (Genesis 1:27), so if we are to believe the Bible, we have to conclude that it is impossible to be neither.  The Bible says God is perfect and makes no mistakes.  (Numbers 23:19, Second Samuel 22:31).  Again, if we are to believe the Bible, we must conclude that it is not God's will, or even really possible to change genders.  There are only two genders, male and female, and God determined our gender at our conception.  So, these people at the thrift shop are clearly not operating in God's design for their lives.  God loves them and has so much better for them.  They need to be reached with the truth of the gospel.  I can't let their lifestyle intimidate me.  I need to be ready to give the gospel, and see the opportunities our Sovereign God sets up for me.  First Peter 3:15 says to be ready to give an answer for the hope within us, with fear and meekness.  That's the answer right there.  No matter who a person is, what they are doing, I need to be ready with the gospel.  I need to share it humbly.  I don't have to have all political or scientific arguments about their lifestyle.  I don't have to be an expert on their religion.  All I need is the same thing I need when sharing the gospel with people of my own lifestyle/culture:  The Bible and the Holy Spirit.  Check, and check!  If they reject it or get offended, that is not my fault.  That is between them and God.  In the Bible, many prophets were sent to those who rejected their message.  It wasn't the prophet's fault.  I need to be faithful with the gospel, and the truth of the Bible.  With the help of the Holy Spirit, I can do it!

Best Summer

     Last night was quite bittersweet as I dropped two high school girls off at their houses.  It had been an incredible summer of serving the Lord with these two, as well as the other summer missionaries I was in charge of.  Together, we did 5-day Bible clubs, open air evangelism, VBS's and fair ministry.  It has been an intense two months, and I've loved just about every minute of it.
     Many children in northwest Iowa heard the gospel of Christ this summer, with several putting their faith in Christ.  These are spiritual victories.  I also saw God have victory in all our lives as we served.
     It has been a blast serving with Child Evangelism Fellowship of Iowa.  I will greatly miss this ministry as Walter and I leave the Midwest and head to New Mexico.  I almost feel like God spoiled me this summer by letting me do what I love!
     Some truly memorable moments from this summer include:
   1) Running across Jericho Hills Bible Camp in the middle of a thunderstorm with my friend Wendy, lightning striking all around us!  I was praying...Wendy was laughing!
  2)  Trying to witness in Spanish to someone who ended up being Hawaiian!  Oops!
  3) A really fun practical joke my husband and I played on my summer missionaries.  They hadn't yet met him, so he "by chance" ran into us at Burger King.  He pretended to be a non-Christian and asked them questions to test their witnessing ability.  Then, in the middle of it, I went up and kissed him!  The teen's mouths dropped open.  I told them, "This is my husband.  He's already a Christian."  One boy said, "Why you little..."  They didn't stay mad, because we got them ice cream!
     Below are pictures from our ministry.

Good versus Evil

  

   Whatever happened to good vs. evil?  Do you know what I mean?  Where one side was good and the other was evil, and you knew which side you wanted to root for.  Old Westerns are known for having good vs. evil.  Some villain comes into town, and the good sheriff fights for justice.  There's always a showdown (tumbleweeds blowing across the dirt road of main street).  The viewer was left with very little question about which side was right.

     Real life is not always completely cut and dry like that.  There can be very complex issues.  However, I think we have often lost our sense of right and wrong, good vs. evil.  We want to be "fair" to the person who is clearly in the wrong, so we don't take a side.  Or we try to demonize the person in the right in order to make the sides more equal.  Recent movies have done a great job of this  Just for an example...

     Did you ever see the 1959 animated Disney movie Sleeping Beauty?  This is my favorite Disney cartoon movie, because it has such a clear sense of good versus evil.  Maleficent, the evil fairy, is intent on destroying princess Aurora, and having control of the kingdom.  The three good fairies, Flora, Fauna, and Merriweather, are doing all they can to save Aurora, and enable the prince.  They even give him the "shield of virtue" and the "sword of faith", which remind me an awful lot of the Armor of God in Ephesians 6.

     Now fast-forward to 2014.  A live-action movie came out, based on this classic.  The movie is entitled Maleficent, and stars--you guessed it--Maleficent.  I will say I actually enjoyed the movie.  However, I also think it odd that it would take the most evil of all Disney villains and make her into this sweet, hurting girl the audience is supposed to feel sorry for.  It paints prince/king Stephen as being treacherous and hurtful, and therefore starting the whole problem to begin with.  It blurs the lines between good and evil.

     I am not putting the movie down.  As I said, I enjoyed it.  My point is simply to illustrate that between 1959 and 2014, we came a long way from the absolutes of good and evil, and that continues now in 2018.  We try to minimize the evil, and demonize the good, so that they're more on the same footing.  Excuses are made for destructive behavior.  This isn't just in movies.  The movies are merely a reflection of where we are as a society.  I had a professor at community college (in 2000) who had the gall to say, "Hitler would never have killed all those people if he had taken a power nap every afternoon. That's all we need.  Hitler was just tired and cranky."  Really?  History would disagree with that!

     I have dealt with this minimizing good and evil in my own life.

     Last summer, my husband was working a short-term job in a thrift store.  The people he worked with were sketchy.  Some very unsavory things happened while he was there.  Things that are a matter of public record now.  During this time, one of these coworkers (who is a criminal, according to the public record I mentioned) threatened to kill my husband, and physically attacked him.  The boss was another problem altogether.  She got a kick out of this, and more or less took the attacker's side.  My husband was made very uncomfortable.  A second attack and threat on his life happened, again, with no action from the boss.  My husband was given contradictory information daily, and then he was severely reprimanded for not following the directions (but he could only follow half the directions, because the other half contradicted the first half).  He was ultimately fired for asking for clarification about what he was supposed to be doing.  These people tried to withhold money from him as well.  It was a mess.  A hurtful, dehumanizing mess.  We suffered financially, and my husband also suffered mentally/emotionally.  I could prove these people are wicked, because, as I said, some of this is a matter of public record.  Anyway, having said all of that, I tried sharing this with a trusted friend in a Bible study I was attending.  This friend completely surprised me.  She told me I was "judging" the people in the thrift shop.  She said she felt sorry for them because I was talking about them that way.  Let's be clear.  I wasn't talking about them by name, or using mean-spirited phrasing.  It wasn't gossip or hearsay.  I was telling how their sinful actions had hurt our family.  I needed support.  All I got was criticism.  Those who did evil got the sympathy from my Christian friend (who didn't even know them).  I shared my story with others, and a few people came out of the woodwork to thank me for sharing, because they, too, had been hurt by these people.  I had validated hurting people, and that was redemptive.  Why was my friend so intent on siding with evil?  Why was she so into demonizing my husband and me?  Forgiveness has happened, but our friendship was never the same again, sadly.

     Around the same time, a student I worked with was being very difficult.  This seven-year-old boy had a fit in front of his mother, and kicked me in the leg as hard as he could.  The mother's response was to smile at her son and say, "I'll buy you a present if you try to stop doing that."  I was outraged.  I was his teacher, and had spent all day dealing with this, and he was basically being rewarded for it?  I had shared this with some Christian friends (not using names or anything), and this same Bible study friend I mentioned above overheard.  She told me that I offended her, and that my outrage was "judging" this poor sweet little boy and his poor sweet mother.  My friend asked me, "What if I did that?  Would you judge me too?"  Okay, wait a minute.  I get the bruise on my leg (one of my coworkers had gotten hair ripped out of her head by this boy's brother, but that's another story entirely), and this child and his negligent mother are the victims?  What's wrong with this picture?  Why was my friend putting herself in the place of these people who hurt me, instead of sympathizing with me, her Christian friend?  Galatians 6:2 says to bear one another's burdens.  She certainly wasn't doing that for me.

     A couple years ago, I was leading a Bible study with another woman.  There was a woman in this study who was struggling with substance abuse.  Long story short, this woman, being influenced by the substance, completely attacked me (verbally, not physically).  She screamed insanely terrible things at me.  It was completely humiliating.  My co-leader in this study just sat there, interjecting, "You're both equally at fault here."  A higher-up had to get involved, and asked this co-leader why I was supposedly equally at fault with this screaming addict.  She fumbled for a response, and finally said, "Well, her face turned red."  My face turned red as I was being shouted at, and that made me equally guilty?  Can you imagine telling a Holocaust survivor that he was as guilty as Hitler because his face turned red when he was being abused in the concentration camp?  Of course not!  That would be ridiculous, and perhaps even using this as an example is disrespectful to Holocaust victims.  I only use it to make a point.

     I was once listening to Dr. Laura Schlessinger on the radio.  Someone had called into her show and asked for advice.  The gist of their situation went something like this:  "My uncle lives with us, and I just found out he's molesting my five-year-old, but I'm afraid it will hurt his feelings if I ask him to stop."  Dr. Laura really came down hard in righteous indignation at this.  She told this caller, "You have compassion on evil instead of on innocence."  That's how so many people have gotten.  Even Christians.  Sometimes especially Christians.

     I have heard a lot of people misuse Matthew 7:4-5.  The passage says: How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.  It is absolutely true that we need to be examining our own lives before we attempt to correct or help others with their own problems.  But this verse does not mean that sin is acceptable or should be ignored.  It also doesn't mean that seeing a problem with someone's behavior means I have a bigger plank to deal with.  Maybe I do, but not always.  When my husband's coworker threatened him, this was not a "speck".  My husband didn't have a "plank" he needed to get out of his own eye in this instance.  The attacks and threats were uncalled for, and were wrong.  The people perpetuating them were sick-minded.  Many seem to want to use Matthew 7:4-5 as a smokescreen to turn the attention away from their sin.  Also, what a lot of people ignore about this passage is that it ends with the person with the "plank" still helping the person with the "speck" after he has dealt with his plank.  People don't go into this part.  They often use it to be synonymous with: "Mind your own business!  I can do whatever I want!"  That's not at all what Jesus meant.  Also, this passage really isn't about dealing with interpersonal conflict.  It's about seeing something amiss in a fellow believer's life, and making sure your own life is right before you try to help them in love.  If someone is attacking you in some way, you don't have to stop and see if you have a plank in your eye before you can respond to the situation.  

     The Bible is full of examples of Good versus evil.  David and Goliath is familiar to most.  Nowhere in scripture are we encouraged to sympathize with Goliath.  Nowhere are we told that David shouldn't have "judged" him.  How about Sampson and Delilah?  Sampson made a lot of mistakes, but he was clearly still God's instrument.  He is named as a hero of faith in Hebrews 11.  Delilah, on the other hand, is never painted as anything but a deceiving traitor.  We're never told to feel sorry for her, or think, "Poor girl.  What made her do that to Sampson?"  We know the answer to that.  Her own sinfulness.  God never leaves room to us to justify sin.  He does offer redemption, but people must choose to take it.  Goliath and Delilah did not.  Some in the Bible did.  Rahab, the harlot of Jericho, put her faith in the true and living God, and was made a part of God's people (she is also listed as a heroine of faith in Hebrews 11).  Saul of Tarsus (later the Apostle Paul) chose to receive God's forgiveness and grace.  However, even after these people received redemption, they never made light of their past sin, or minimized it, or claimed it was acceptable.  Paul reveals in Philippians 3 that what he did before he was a believer--persecuting the church--was wrong, something he would live with for the rest of his life.  He never says, "Don't judge me!"  He knew God was his judge, and fell on God's mercy.  

     The Book of Revelation tells how it will all end.  Complete justice will be served.  Evil will be punished for all time, and only those who are forgiven by the Blood of Jesus will have eternal life.  In chapter six, we are told of some martyrs who were killed for their testimony and faith in Jesus.  They are in Heaven, and beg God to judge and avenge their persecution.  They are assured this will happen.  These believers are in Heaven.  They have been slain for the testimony of Jesus.  As they are dead and with the Lord, they are no longer capable of sin.  And, in this sinless state, they beg God to judge their persecutors.  This should show us that not all "judging" is wrong.  There is a righteous judgment against evil.  God makes no apologies.  

     I am not saying that people in the wrong shouldn't be loved or shown compassion.  God often works in their lives through loving and compassionate people.  It just shouldn't be done at the expense of their victims.  As long as there is life, there is hope.  There is hope for my husband's former coworkers at the thrift shop.  There is hope for the little boy who kicked me, and his mother.  There is hope for the drug-addict who screamed at me.  There is hope for us all in Jesus Christ.  But we have to turn to Him in faith and repentance.  Sin is never acceptable.  There is good, and there is evil.  Right and wrong.  We don't need to handicap right to make the wrong feel less "judged".  Maybe those in the wrong need a little judgment to bring them to their senses.  

     I close with this story.  In 2001, I was on a mission trip to Boston, Massachusetts.  It was a wonderful time, as I have shared in other posts.  My teammate Kirstie and I taught Bible clubs all over the city.  We did one in the Salvation Army day camp.  Some of the kids were really rough.  They were disruptive while we were trying to teach.  One day, this little girl was just completely over the top with inappropriate and disrespectful comments while Kirstie was telling the Bible story.  After several warnings, Kirstie sent her out of the club, to the director's office.  I walked the girl down as Kirstie continued teaching.  I explained to the director what happened, and he supported our decision to kick the girl out of the Bible club.  I returned to club.  Kirstie finished her Bible lesson, and I did the next segment of the club.  As we were wrapping up, I noticed this rude little girl reenter the room.  She looked different, though.  Contrite.  She approached Kirsite, and the two of them started talking.  I knew that this was important, and so I kept the rest of the group occupied so they could talk.  I found out that this girl told Kirstie she realized she was a sinner, because Kirstie had asked her to leave the class.  She realized she sinned, and needed a Savior.  Kirstie was able to lead her to a saving knowledge of Christ right then and there!  This would not have happened if Kirstie had ignored this child's sin.  But she dealt with it righteously.  She dared to call it wrong.  She dared to enforce consequences.  The result was the saving of a soul!  

Which one went to Heaven?

This past week, I supervised a Vacation Bible School in Climbing Hill, Iowa.  Two teen summer missionaries, Nick and Isaiah, taught this club, and twelve children received Christ as Savior.  I would like to share an object lesson given by Nick, age sixteen.

     There were two men.  The first one was a Christmas almost all his life.  He accepted Christ at a young age, and lived for Christ all his life...but one day, when he was an older man, he decided to steal from the store.  He took something off the shelf and left the store.  He didn't feel any guilt about it, and he didn't confess it to God.  On the way home, he walked into the street and got hit with a truck and killed.

     The second guy did not live a Christian life.  He spent his whole life against God.  He lied, cheated, and doubted the truth of God.  One day, when he was an older man, he stole from the store.  As he was leaving the store with the stolen merchandise, he began to feel bad about it.  He asked God to forgive him, and he also received Christ as his Savior.  On his way back to the store to return the stolen item, he got hit by a car and killed.

     Which of these two men went to Heaven?

     The kids in our club all said that the second one did.

     In reality, they both went to Heaven.  Both of them had put their faith in Christ, and received forgiveness for their sins.  They did it at different points in their lives.  Both were covered by the Blood of Christ!  He is always ready to forgive those who come to Him, and once they are forgiven, they remain so forever, no matter what they do.

     Twelve children prayed to receive Christ that day at the 5-day club.  I was very impressed with this object lesson, and the power of God's forgiveness.