Girl will be girls...

      Something we hear a lot about today is feminism.  Women's rights.  As Americans, our rights are very important.  What is feminism?  How was it important in our history?  Is there still a place for it today?  Does the Bible shed light on women's rights?

A suffragette rally, approximately 1917.  My husband's grandmother is the little girl in the front, second from left on the lady's lap.  She lived to be almost 102 years old, and I was blessed to know her.  Most of these suffragettes were good women who wanted to make a positive difference.

     It is important to note that feminism long ago was vastly different from today's feminism.  There was a time when women didn't have rights to vote, own property, or get protection from abusive men.  Even into the mid and later 20th century, there were instances where women were paid less than men for the same work.  Before 1988 (during my childhood), women couldn't get business loans without a male cosigner.  Before the 1970's, women couldn't apply for credit cards.  As a woman who didn't marry until my early 30's I wouldn't have been able to survive under those restrictions.  I am very thankful I came of age in a world where I had the same rights as men.  I'm thankful for the women (and men) who came before me and fought for changes in our country.  Today, there are still nations around the world where women don't have those rights (particularly in Islamic nations).    

Early 20th century suffragettes, fighting for the right to vote

     There is a big difference between actual rights and perception. In the past, women fought for these rights and privileges.  Today's feminists appear to fight for the right to be perceived a certain way.  Complaints are made that women make 82 cents on the dollar compared to men (the exact amount fluctuates depending on what survey you go by).  What isn't shared is that women more often go into fields that pay less.  They have every right to go into the more lucrative fields.  Many women simply aren't doing so.  Then, they make an issue about how unfair it is, when they had a choice.  This is very different than women of the past trying to get basic rights to make those choices.  

     My husband Walter attended a college where very few women pursued the STEM subjects.  There were a bunch of angry feminists on campus, complaining about how unfair it was that the STEM fields were mostly made up of men.  Walter would encourage these young women to go into the STEM subjects themselves to set the example.  They would look sort of trapped when he suggested this, and would slowly admit, "I don't really want to.  I'm just mad that it's mostly men."  They wanted to have a big cause they were fighting for, but there was no actual injustice going on.  Any woman on that campus could have pursued any subject she chose.  On the opposite end, I took my college major in early childhood education.  Our classes had about 50 women and 4 men.  More women than men happened to be interested in going into preschool teaching.  In my many years in preschool and elementary education, I experienced many more women coworkers than men.  It wasn't because women were forced into this field and men were discouraged from it.  It was because everyone had choices, and they went the direction of their own inclination.  That is as it should be.  Injustice is when we don't have those choices.  When we do, that is freedom.  If we feel we must find a cause to fight for, we should be fighting for the rights of the oppressed in Islamic nations.  They truly need our advocacy.

     The original idea behind feminism was to be a woman with these rights.  Today's feminism seems to be to try to be a man, or to put men down beneath them.  They appear to not want equality at all, but superiority.  I also find the feminist stand on abortion to be saddening.  Women demanding the right to kill their own children.  That is what pagan cultures have done all through history, and God punished them severely.  Women have every opportunity to choose celibacy, or to choose protection.  But once a child is conceived, it isn't a choice anymore. 

     I think of the brave women of the past who were born into a world where they didn't have the right to vote, but they peacefully fought for it.  Now, we can all make a difference by casting our ballot.  Fighting for this right took perseverance and courage.  To be honest, I don't see any rights today that I'm not granted that men are.  Many of the things being protested by today's feminists are not rights, but perception.  Being perceived a certain way isn't anyone's right.  No one is obligated to view me as beautiful, powerful, component or capable.  If I want to be seen that way, I can do my best to be these things, but no one is required to agree with me.  Many other "rights" that are complained about are actually not rights at all either, but desires.  For one thing, many have complained that we haven't had a female President.  Others had said that there are more men than women in congress.  Let's look at that a moment.  Being President of the United States is not a right.  Anyone running must meet certain criteria, and then, must be elected.  It's the people's choice.  It isn't "fair."  It isn't about rights.  It's about the better candidate.  And many more men run than women to begin with, so that is going to affect the outcome.  The same is true for congress.  The idea that it isn't "fair" for there to be more men than women is actually very sexist logic.  That implies that women aren't strong enough to be good candidates, and should just be given places in congress to make it "fair."  And truly, this isn't what people who make these complaints really want anyway.  Anytime a Conservative female makes headway in the political arena, the Left eats her alive (Sarah Palin, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Melania Trump, Amy Barrett, to name a few).  They don't really want a woman, they want their women.  They need to stop disguising it as some virtue of desire to see women succeed, and admit they want someone who fits their narrative.  We all want someone in office who holds our views.  There is no shame in admitting that.  

Justice Amy Barrett

     All politics aside, what does the Bible say about women's rights?  Genesis 1:27 says, that both male and female are created in the image of God.  God made women to be a helper for men, so they wouldn't be alone.  This would indicate that male and female are equal, but have different purposes and functions in some instances.  Men were not created to carry babies for nine months, for example.  There are some instances where roles are different.  There are several places in scripture where women did have positions of leadership and influence.  Deborah was a female judge (Judges 4-5).  Esther was a queen who saved her people (the book of Esther).  The Bible mentions women who were prophetesses (Huldah in Second Kings 22:14-20, and Anna in Luke 2:36-38, most notably).  Women had functions in the early church (Titus 2:3-5, among other passages).  Many, many strong, virtuous women are mentioned in scripture (that is a study in itself!).  For married women, Paul's words in Ephesians 5 seem to be a focal point, Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (verse 22).  A lot of women don't like this.  It's right there in the Bible, though.  To me, that means that prior to marriage, a single woman should make sure the man she considers a relationship with is someone she respects and can submit to.  I believe that, once a woman is married, she needs to defer to her husband's authority, unless what he asks of her is sinful.  That sounds subservient, but it really shouldn't be.  Skip ahead a few verses to Ephesians 5:25ff.  This passage gives the men their part (and it is much longer and more detailed than the wives' part), Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.  The passage elaborates, but the idea is, men are to love their wives the way Jesus loved His people--enough to lay down His life.  If a man loves his wife like that, it shouldn't be too hard for the wife to want to submit.  After all, this kind of love assumes that the husband wants what is truly best for the wife, and will want her to have joy in her life.  Single ladies, be careful before you marry.  You want a man who will follow this.  

     Do all men live up to the commands in Ephesians 5?  No, sadly.  I have known so many godly, honorable women who wanted to get married, but the men in their lives played games.  Many times, I have seen men play with women's hearts, showing interest, then pulling away with no explanation, or even denying the relationships they had initiated themselves.  I think the generation Z crowd are calling that "ghosting."  Whatever the term, it is hurtful and wrong.  It is hard for women to respect men who don't have that selfless, Christlike love.  Both men and women have responsibilities given to them by God, and if we are all obeying that, it goes as God intended.  I also want to clarify that if a woman isn't married, she isn't bound Biblically to submit to men in general just because they are men.  If a man is a spiritual leader, like a pastor, there is a level of spiritual submission, but that isn't the same as with a husband.  By the same token, we must all obey the laws of the land.  That's not what I'm talking about here, though.  Truly, if a woman is single, she is simply under God, and, like all believers, must follow His leading in her life.  At the same time, men aren't obligated to universally love all women the way a man loves his wife, but he should be showing Christlike love in all his interpersonal relationships, and that would certainly include being honest in his dealing with women.  No game-playing.  

     I know some who believe that single women must live with their fathers until they are married.  This really annoys me, since I had a house of my own as a single woman, until I got married at 33.  This concept of women having to live with their parents is not found anywhere in scripture.  The only biblical argument I heard in favor of that was this very flimsy point: If Rachel and Leah had gone off and gotten their own apartment, they would never have met Jacob.  Well, honestly, maybe they would have both been better off without Jacob!  God sovereignly wove His plan through their dysfunctional family.  But the culture of the Bible (women living with their parents until marriage) is not a command.  That was just their culture, and God worked out His will through it, just as He works in ours today.  I reiterate, a single woman is under God.  We all are, but a single woman is in a unique position of freedom under God, not being answerable to a husband.

     I think, sadly, sometimes the church is harder on women than it should be--but in other contexts, it is too hard on the men.  When I was single, particularly when I was just out of high school, I experienced young men being very misleading to women, even men in ministry leadership roles.  I saw a lot of girls with broken hearts, including myself.  The men were perceived as godly, even as they played with women's emotions.  The women, on the other hand, were often seen as ungodly, immodest (even if we were covered up!), and flirtatious.  I once tried to complain about a man's inappropriate conduct toward me to a leader, and I was shut down immediately (kind of a "how dare you accuse a godly man!  You're only here to flirt!").  That made me so ashamed that I gave up.  The same standards weren't applied to both sexes.  That wasn't right.  On the flip side (because I want to be perfectly fair), my husband had the opposite experience at his Bible college.  The leadership cracked down on men, viewing women as the weaker sex and apparently beyond sin.   From his experience, only males got in trouble or expelled from the school.  Women were untouchable and could get away with murder.  They played a lot of power games.  This is equally unjust to my experiences.  Ephesians 4:32 tells us to be kind and compassionate to one another.  If everyone in these situations were being kind and compassionate, thinking about the other person instead of just themselves, it would have gone a lot better for everyone.  Philippians 2:4 (NLT) says, Don't look out only for you own interests, but take an interest in others too.  If we are caring about other people's hearts and interests, we're not going to be playing games with each other.  

     As long as we are in this sinful, fallen world, there will always be prejudices, including sexism.  We can't legislate away something that happens in the human heart.  We can pray for those who are in the wrong.  Our rights are more important than how we are perceived, and we have those rights.  As for our perception, we should be setting the best example of graciousness, integrity, and industry.