Whoopings!

     I remember it like it was yesterday.  It was the summer of 1999.  I was a high school senior, and part of an evangelism team doing backyard Bible clubs.  We were doing open air witnessing to children in an apartment complex.  A friend and I were sharing the gospel with a cute little black boy who had introduced himself as Reginald..."But you can call me Reggie," he explained happily.  We shared with him God's love, and how God wanted Reggie to know him and live forever in Heaven with him.  Then, we had to get to the "bad news" about how all of us have sinned.  I asked him,  "Do you know what the punishment is for our sins?"

     "Yeah," Reggie nodded.  "My grandma gives me whoopings!"  

     My teammate and I looked at each other and had to try not to burst out laughing.  In the end, it turned out Reggie had already received Christ as his Savior, but was delighted we had shared with him anyway.

Summer 1999, I'm pictured with one of the friends on my evangelism team.

     Over the years, I've never forgotten about his grandma's "whoopings," and I have great respect for this woman I've never met.  She disciplined this little boy, and the result (as far as we could see) was a sweet child who knew Christ.

     Proverbs 23:13=14 says, Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol.  

     Thirty-one states have banned corporal punishment from schools.  This is a controversial issue, but I believe the result of this has been 20 years of school shootings and students who believe the world revolves around them.  As a teacher myself, I can attest to this.  Every year, it seems they come in more and more entitled, and parents make more and more excuses.  In the last week, I have experienced two very painful injuries from such students.  The blame seems to always be put on teachers.  I wasn't calm enough when I asked them to stop.  Forgive me, but it's hard to be calm when I'm being kicked in the face, hard enough to leave a bruise.  In those cases, it's all I can do not to do something illegal, so forget calm!  Teacher's hands are tied.  There is no legal way to get things under control, because all we're allowed to do is say positive things to them. Legislators who have never set foot in a classroom tell us how we're allowed to discipline our students. 

     Professionals have medicated and given names to mental disorders based on behavior, and in a lot of cases, it doesn't help.  I'm not an expert on mental illness.  I know mental illness are very real, and in no way do I wish to invalidate someone's legitimate problem. There is a real need for medication sometimes. Those who suffer should receive grace and compassionate care that would truly help them.  We all need help sometimes.  That's part of being human. On the other hand, though I am NOT a psychologist, and I don't claim to know this,  I suspect that some of these mental disorders cropping up aren't real, but just a medical-sounding name for spoiled brat, poor parenting, or lack of discipline.  Some of these things are just plain sinful.  We're medicating sin, and therefore excusing it.  Our hands are tied as far as really helping these children.  On the other hand, I feel sorry for those who truly suffer from mental illness, because these spoiled brats getting falsely labeled with mental illness are bringing true mental illness to an incorrect public perception.  A person with a real mental illness shows up and shares their problem, and everyone thinks, "Oh no, not another one," because of all the out-of-control behavior misdiagnosed as mental illness.  In reality, those with genuine illness should receive compassionate care.  Those with just plain discipline problems need a spanking!

     It is possible for discipline to become abusive.  That isn't right, and in no way do I defend actual abuse.  Discipline should be lovingly administered.  Hebrews 12:6 tells us The Lord disciplines the one He loves.  Discipline is a sign of God's work in us, His love for us.  Our discipline toward children should have the same goal--love for them and a desire for their very best.  If all we're allowed to do is smile at them and say positive statements while they're physically harming us or others, we're not doing what is best for anyone--not the child, not the other children, not ourselves.  I'm not saying discipline is fun or easy.  It isn't.  But the lack of it produces such horrors that it needs to happen.  God holds us accountable for our words and actions.  Romans 14:12 says, so then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.  Children need that accountability as well.  

     Along the same lines, there are some incorrect thinking patterns feeding into this problem.  The whole it takes a village mentality sounds very idyllic, but it can be misleading.  Too many parents I have gotten to know over the years view the school, day care center, neighborhood, and church to be responsible for raising their children, instilling values into them, teaching them correct behavior.  While these institutions can and do help, they are no substitute for parental authority.  You can't pay anyone to love your child like you do.  Teachers love your children, but not like you.  Church workers love your children and pray for them, but not with a parent's love.  The same goes for kind neighbors.  All of these things should be supporting your role as a parent, but they can't raise your child for you.  As a teacher, I can speak for myself and say I dearly want to partner with parents, be a part of their team in helping their child.  But the parents are the team captain!  I want to do all I can in my role to help the child and family.  I am not the parent, though.

     This is all sort of controversial.  I have not intended to step on toes with this.  I realize there are wonderful parents out there who have children with severe problems, and they are trying hard to get a handle on it, not sure what to do.  I have not intended to be insensitive to them.  I am simply sharing some biblical truth, and my experiences as a teacher for many years.  Something is broken, and it will take the work of the Holy Spirit to fix it.  

     

Bold and Unashamed

     We live in an over-polite world where no one wants to offend anyone else.  Even though it is easy to complain about this and think fondly about days gone by, Ecclesiastes 1:9 tells us that there is nothing new under the sun.  History marches onward, repeating itself again and again.  The wise learn from it.  The foolish perish.

     Sadly, even the Christian world today is often caught up in the obsession to accommodate everyone and be non-offensive.  The whole "don't judge" phenomena has taken everyone by storm.  I often feel as if we're being asked to become unthinking robots with no opinion other than agreement with anything and everything.  Upon really examining this, though, one has to conclude that this isn't possible.  We can't turn off our humanity and become robots indefinitely.

     I have had fellow Christians tell me I should be ashamed of myself for calling sin what it is.  I've been called "legalistic" and "judgmental" for simply agreeing with what God has already put forth in His word.  I've had people tell me to take the plank out of my own eye, to stop minimizing my own sin and maximizing the sins of others.   Is there a danger of these accusations being true?  Of course.  Always.  As a Christian, I need to be watching myself, staying in the Word, listening to the Holy Spirit, and getting Christian accountability.  When I'm wrong, I should promptly admit it and make it right.  First Corinthians 10:12 says, let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall.  We need constant maintenance in our lives.  I am certainly not above this.  I try (though I'm not perfect) to humbly receive correction when I am wrong.

     There is a flip side of this, though.  When God calls me (or any believer) to say something about a sin (and believe me, we don't enjoy doing it!), and people jump on us and remind us of how imperfect we are, I am reminded of a well-known line from Shakespeare's Hamlet. "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

     

     When people have to go crazy against a believer who simply agrees with God, this is clearly an overreaction.  Seldom am I confronting a person for their own sin (I think there are times when we're all called to that), but rather, talking about sin or impropriety in general.  Things in society that affect everyone.  Things that have become very public, demanding we take a stand.  Things like abortion, the LGBT (etc) agenda, fornication, adultery, dishonesty, greed, selfishness.  Scripture has a lot to say about every one of these, though they aren't my aim at the moment.  See some of my other posts, or better yet, the Bible for more info on any of these things in relation to scripture.  My point here is people's reaction to believers taking a stand--sometimes other believers' reaction to those of us who take a stand.  A lot of times, those who react aren't even committing that sin or lifestyle, but just have this urge to attack anyone who makes a statement that is less than absolutely positive. They're parroting society, which is very dangerous  If the world can condition Christians to just repeat their rhetoric, we're in a bad place.  We are called to be a thinking people.  I was in a Bible study once where a zealous young woman (about age 22, and new to the group) vehemently rebuked a wise, respected older man in the group who was sharing scripturally how Jesus was the only way to Salvation and how Muslims weren't headed for Heaven.  Turns out, this young woman was a Christian herself, and when backed into a corner, she admitted the older man was right, but she just felt it was judgmental for him to say it.  This is a problem.

     Even supposing for a moment that I am overstepping bounds in stating something is sinful, those who feel the need to correct me should do it in love, not harshness or judgment.  That's right.  It is just as judgmental to criticize a fundamentalist Christian as it is to criticize anyone else.  Harping on me isn't going to make me change, but loving consideration might.  And that's even assuming that what I have said is sinful or out of line.  Sometimes it could be, but often it isn't.

     As Christians, we are called to align our beliefs and lifestyles with God's word.  Second Timothy 2:15 tell us Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.  A chapter and a verse later, in 3:16, we are reminded that all scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and instruction in righteousness.  That is our authority.  I'm not making a nasty judgment against someone because I dislike them.  I often like these people very much personally.  Out of love for them and hopes that they will come to know Christ, I speak in agreement with the Bible.  This is actually much more loving than pacifying people and agreeing with them to make them feel good.  God tells us how it will end.  He tells us that those who reject Jesus will be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord (Second Thessalonians 1:9).  Revelation 20:15 expounds on this by saying that these unbelievers will be thrown into the lake of fire.  I don't want that for anyone!  I want everyone to be redeemed from this.  I want all to know the joy that comes from having their sins forgiven and a right relationship with God--both now and for all eternity.  That is why I speak out.  It is possible for Christians to fall into sin as well, and while they will never bear the eternal consequence for it (since Jesus already did), they will lose joy in their lives, and not be able to enjoy the full fellowship with God.  Psalm 32 testifies to this, when David talks about how miserable he was when he was living in a sinful situation.  Believers can be made miserable by their sin, and I don't want this for anyone either.  In love, as the Holy Spirit leads, I may speak up--and I hope others would do the same for me when I err. The Bible gives steps for confronting believers in sin (Matthew 18).

     A lot of people say that Jesus never judged others, but simply loved.  This isn't quite accurate.  He knew the judgment was coming, and talked about it.  Many of His parables discuss the difference between the righteous, who go on to everlasting life, and the wicked, who go to eternal punishment (Luke 13:27-28).  If there weren't a judgment, we wouldn't need a Savior, and He wouldn't have come at all.  He was very loving to people, but He never condoned sin.  In John 8:11, He told the woman caught in adultery, "Go and sin no more."  He called the Pharisees a "brood of vipers" (Matthew 12:34).  When the people in the temple were taking advantage of others, Jesus vehemently turned over their tables and disrupted what they were doing.  He didn't just smile and say, "I'm not here to judge."  He had righteous indignation.  Not quite the meek picture of Jesus a lot of people want to have.  And yet He was humble and meek as well.

    

     Jesus had a cousin named John the Baptist.  John was about six months older than Jesus, and had a very special calling on his life.  He was called by God to be a forerunner of Jesus, to prepare people for Him.  John was known as quite eccentric.  According to John 1, he didn't consider himself to be a prophet, but the one called to prepare the world for the Messiah.  He called people to repent and be baptized.  He had quite a following, but when Jesus came on the scene, John turned everyone's attention to Jesus, not himself (John 1:29).  He said, "He must increase, I must decrease." (John 3:30).  John was known for speaking very openly and blatantly about sin.  After all, he was calling people to repent.  He was preparing them for the Savior.  They wouldn't need a Savior if they weren't ready to admit to their sins.  John had a task.  He spoke openly about all that wasn't right.  He had criticized a very public sin of King Herod.  Herod had taken his brother's wife.  John didn't beat around the bush.  He publicly declared this to be wrong (Matthew 14:4).  He didn't try to avoid judging him.  He didn't try to sympathize with Herod, or mind his own business.  He spoke out.  How many today would do that, in our politically-correct world?  John had guts, but I believe he had something even more than that.  He had the mandate and approval of God.  John's speaking the truth cost him his life.

     Some might consider John the Baptist to be a bit out of line, or over the top.  But Jesus Himself approved of John's ministry.  In Matthew 11:11, Jesus said, "Truly I say to you, among those born of women there has not arisen anyone greater than John the Baptist."  This would have been Jesus' chance to say, "Well, he did some good stuff, but he was too legalistic and judgmental."  But He didn't say that.  John had been in God's will.  Maybe Christians today who speak out against sin are in God's will too, and should be supported, not silenced or labeled as judgmental by their brother and sisters in Christ who are just too uncomfortable to do the same.

     Some will still argue, "Yes, but Jesus said not to judge!"  They are referring to Matthew 7:1, which says, Judge not, lest you be judged.  This is probably the most well-known (and misused) verse today.  Even people who give no mind or credence to the Bible will quote this if anyone even remotely disagrees with them.  They are taking it out of context.  Jesus said this in the middle of the Sermon on the Mount.  He wasn't saying we can't hold beliefs, or disagree with anyone.  If He was, that would contradict the rest of scripture.  The verses following explain that we need to get our own lives in order, and then we can help others with their lives.  If I come down on you for something, but I'm doing the same thing, I'm going to face the same criticism (and rightfully so).  I need to get it right in my life first, before I help you.  That's what this passage is talking about.  It isn't saying we can never confront or speak out against something.  John 7:24 sheds further light on this topic when it says, Do not judge by mere appearances, but judge righteous judgment.  In other words, have all the facts before you make a judgment about a person or situation.  Don't assume (we all know what happens when we assume, right? HA! HA!).

     Nowhere in the Bible are we told to turn off the brains God gave us.  Nowhere are we told that excusing sin is compassionate.  We are told to speak the truth, whether people want to hear it or not (in season or out of season Second Timothy 4:2).  We are to be humble but confidant on the authority of God's word.  At the end of it all, do you want to look into the face of someone who thanks you for sharing the truth with them and saving their soul, or hear the cries of someone you affirmed on earth being cast into the lake of fire?  The choice is yours.

How does it feel?

     If there is one place Christians should feel loved and accepted, it should be the Body of Christ.  We share so much--our faith in Jesus, our destiny in Heaven, our love for the Lord.  Jesus Himself said that the way people would recognize that we are His people is by our love for one another (John 13:35).  I find it interesting He didn't say that the watching world would know we are His by our love for Him, or for the unsaved (though we should be loving Him, and the unsaved).  The biggest testimony to the lost is that Christians love each other.

     Sadly, this often doesn't happen the way Jesus commanded.  I imagine all of us believers have been wounded by other Christians at times.  It is more devastating when the attack comes from Christians.  It has to be.  Here we share something so beyond ourselves.  We have every reason to cling together.  But we don't.  Not always.  It isn't just us.  It was that way in Acts.  People were coming to Jesus from different parts of Israel, and even outside of the Jewish faith.  As they got saved, they brought their cultures and conflicts with them.  This led to the church leaders having the counsel at Jerusalem in Acts 15.  What we can gather from this is that culture plays a huge part into who we are, even as Christians.  This can be a uniting or a dividing force.  What we share as Christians should be so much greater than any difference.  But so often, we lose sight of it.

     On Facebook, one page I follow is a particular Conservative Christian group.  They share a lot of really good resources and articles.  Last night, something they shared brought out a lot of ugliness in people, myself included.  The article was about how the US population was redistributing itself, due to people moving out of states like California, New York and Illinois.  Admittedly, these three states are known for liberal politics.  Think for a second, what kind of people would move out of liberal states?  The answer should be fairly obvious: Conservatives, many of whom are Christians.  The liberals have no reason to leave these states.  They are getting their own way from corrupt state governments (many of whom were voted in by deceased people who had not been cleared off the voting registration).  There is heart-breaking corruption in these places.  A lot of Conservatives feel they have no choice but to leave.  However, the people who read the article got very unkind, particularly trashing Californians (not the state, but the actual residents) talking about how stupid and worthless they all are, and how they're trying to move to others states to make them as corrupt as the one they came from.  How smart would that be?  I have just established that the Conservatives are the ones leaving.  I am a Californian, a Conservative, and a Christian, and my heart broke as I read people's hate-filled comments.  They don't know me, or the wonderful Christian people I love in my home state, but they decided to hate us.  I feel very hopeless when people say stuff like that.  I can't change what state I'm from.  No one can.  The evil behind their hatred is the same evil behind racism.  No one chooses their race, but everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves before judgment.  What is distressing is that the people making these comments about me and my fellow Californians is that they are supposedly Christians (the page is geared to conservative Christians).

     I sobbed until my whole body shook.  I felt like my heart would stop beating. I hadn't been that broken since a college boyfriend dumped me many years ago.  I am hated by people who share my Lord and eternity.  Yet they hate me, call me stupid and worthless. They assume evil, wicked things about my motives, just because I happen to be from a state with a largely undeservedly bad reputation.  I love California, and never wanted to leave it. Our reasons for leaving our home state four years ago are a long story, but it has been God's leading for my husband and me.  After living in the Midwest, the Mountain states, and the South, we have concluded that the Christian community in California is a lot more in-depth and spiritually mature than I've found elsewhere.  There is corruption in the government.  Christians need to stand up and fight it.  Those not called to be involved should pray, not put us down.  After reading these mean-spirited comments from other believers, I was left feeling like there was no place for me.  That is a horrible feeling.  No Christian should feel that way, ever.  I responded with truth to some of the abusive, ignorant comments.

     First John 4:20 says: If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.  Being a Christian in a world that never knew God is a hostile experience.  We can't be turning on each other.  Anyone who stops long enough to think it through should be able to figure out that no state has all good or all bad people in it.  There is always a remnant of God's people (First Kings 19:18).  California was the location of all major revival movements of the twentieth century.  There are multiple Bible colleges and seminaries there.  Even in supposedly evil Los Angeles, Christian denominations combined make up the biggest religion adhered to.  I have been in touch with a BIble-believing church in San Francisco.  They are trying to do a lot of wonderful ministry, but are attacked by the enemy in ways we can't even begin to know.  But all of that is beside the point.  Even if the Christians in California were fewer, we are still God's people, and should be loved and accepted by other believers, not attacked because of our state.  That kind of prejudice and hatred is so hurtful.  That's what I really want to say.  I hurt.  My soul aches to be loved by other Christians.  I want to belong.  I want to hear the words of Cheri Keaggy's song "Bring it all in" Come in, bring it all in.  We've got a place for you, there's enough grace for you.  God only knows where you've been.  Bring it all in.  We need to love and extend grace to each other.  We are hurting in a world that has rejected our Savior.  We can't go rejecting each other.  

     Let's pray for God to change our hearts and make us the loving people He wants us to be.  I don't feel very loving toward those who said those hateful things.  Clearly, they don't love me or my people  That isn't right.  Also, pray for Christians living in states that don't listen to their votes.  Did you know California is the only state that voted TWICE to keep marriage between one man and one woman?  Most states didn't vote at all, but those who did only did once.  California really wanted to keep things right.  No one talks about that. They just talk about how evil California supposedly is, and all it's residents along with it.  Pray for Christians in these places.  They are fighting spiritual battles you don't know about.  They don't want to fight their fellow Christians in other states as well!  They are your brothers and sisters.

     One thing that has comforted me was something my husband reminded me of.  Jesus was from Nazareth, and in John 1:14, Nathaniel said, "Can any good thing come out of Nazareth?"  Jesus was from a place with a bad reputation.  He was misjudged because of it.  He knows the plight of Californian Christians.  He loves us and cries with us when we are rejected by those who have been commanded to love us.  It hurts Him too.  Please pray for me, because it is so hard being a Californian out of state.  People can be so cruel.  That isn't right.  Come on, Christians, let's follow Jesus' command to love one another.  No one else will want to know our Lord until we do.  

     

Christmas Angel

     One of my favorite passages of scripture in the Old Testament is First Kings 19.  This recounts the story of Elijah fleeing for his life from the evil Queen Jezebel.  In the previous chapter, he had just had the spiritual victory of his life.  Yet chapter nineteen finds him spiritually exhausted, running for his life, ready to give up.  He was overwhelmed, and wanted to die.  In verse 4, he says, "It is enough; now, O Lord, take my life, for I am not better than my fathers." He's at the end of his spiritual rope, ready to throw in the towel.  God doesn't let him out of it that easily.  He gets some needed sleep, and is awakened by an angel, bringing him food.  Verse eight tells us that Elijah arose and ate, and he went on the strength of that food for forty days.  Can you imagine the properties of that food, it if could sustain him that long (coming from an angel in the first place)?  During those forty days, Elijah traveled to Horeb, the mountain of God.  It was at Horeb that Elijah had a direct encounter with God, is given assurance and direction, and is ultimately refreshed and revitalized for ministry. 

 

     I have often felt like Elijah.  Even after spiritual victories in my life, I get tired and overwhelmed.  I have a lot of joy in my life, but 2019 was a difficult year for us in several ways.  It has often felt like life was running us over.  I could go into detail, but that isn't my purpose at the moment.  Suffice it to say, I felt like I was at the end of my spiritual and emotional rope.  One aspect is that, living here in Texas now, we are far away from relatives, and are alone this Christmas.  We've made a couple of friends, but we are lonely.  We're still trying to plug in at a church.  Due to a lot of illness of coworkers, I have been working a lot of overtime at the Christian preschool.  This is good for the paycheck, but exhausting and overwhelming as well. Not enough personal time has led to a little bit of depression.  I had been praying that this Christmas would be special.  I didn't see how that would happen.  But I kept thinking about Elijah, how he went on the strength of that food for forty days, until his next spiritual encounter.  I needed some of that food.  Something to keep me going.  God has always been faithful with that.  He gives me what I often call "preludes to Heaven."  He does it just when I need it.  Just to keep me going, keep me in this game called life.  

     The other day, I was in Walmart.  Not even my favorite store in the world, but Kmarts are disappearing, so what choice did I have?  I grabbed a few items, and was standing in line.  Only two lanes were open, right beside each other.  I had one too many items to be in the express lane, so I was in the main line.  It wasn't very long, and I thought, "Okay, I'll be through this pretty quickly."  However, the woman in front of me was one of those people no one wants to be behind.  The ones who notoriously hold things up.  This woman started trying to explain to the cashier why her purchase shouldn't have sales tax, and how he rang her up wrongly, and how he's harassing her.  It went on and on, and she demanded he go check the price of something.  I felt very annoyed.  Kind of trapped, a hostage of this woman's manipulation.  But what could I do?  The manager ended up having to get involved, and it took forever.

     In the meantime, this other woman got in the express lane, right beside me.  She was a beautiful, nicely dressed African-American woman, about fifty or so.  More than her physical appearance, I noticed the gentleness exuding from her.  She brought a presence to that line.  I felt somehow drawn to her, then dismissed it.  She talked kindly and gently to those around her.  She said something about church, and I jumped in and asked where she attended.  She mentioned a church in Fort Worth.  Without really knowing why, I told her we were new to Texas.  She immediately smiled and said, "Don't say that.  We claim you.  You're one of us now."  This sweet inclusiveness startled me.  Very contrary to the fun-loving yet serious, "Don't mess with Texas" and "You're not really a Texan if you weren't born here" I've gotten from others since we arrived.  It made me feel good to have her say that.  I have struggled with feeling left out all my life, sometimes legitimately, sometimes in my head.  Her words ministered to a deep, raw part of my heart.  Again, not knowing why, I told her we had joined a church in the area, the same church that ran the Christian preschool where I work, but that my husband really hadn't felt plugged in, and we had been visiting others, and thought we'd probably found one we'd join.  This woman nodded very positively and told me I was doing the right thing.  Again, my spirit felt surprised but blessed by this.  The truth of her words bore witness in my heart.  The Holy Spirit was agreeing with what was being said and confirming it to me.  This precious woman was saying exactly what God knew I needed to hear.  That I was in the right place.  I was okay.  

     In the meantime, this woman in front of me was still making a scene and holding everyone up.  This sweet woman gently walked over to them and pulled out a fifty dollar bill, handing it to the manager.  "This should cover her purchase," she said kindly.  

     Something happened right then.  The obnoxious woman changed.  She became kind and gentle too.  She apologized to the manager and began showing respect.  She told all of us in line "Merry Christmas."  She was transformed by this act of grace.  Here I was annoyed and wanted to smack her, but this godly woman showed her the love of Jesus, and it made a difference.  It reminded me of how Jesus touched people's lives in the Bible, and they were instantly changed.  I think of Zaccheaus, the moment he met Jesus in person, deciding to pay back everyone he cheated fourfold.  I think of the demoniac at the tombs, who ended up becoming a witness for Jesus.  Only Jesus' presence can change a person like that.  And that is what happened in line at Walmart.  I was struck with the realization that something very real and important was happening.  I was in the middle of a miracle.  A witness to the deep love God has for us all.  This was my prelude.  My touch of Heaven.  The food meant to get me to the next place.  The presence of God overwhelmed me.  Joy welled up in my tired spirit.  The love of God extended to this obnoxious woman, and transformed her.  That's what God does for me too.  That's what redemption is.  And that is what Christmas is all about.  

     As we were all leaving, I told the sweet woman, "You exemplified Jesus today, and I needed to see that."  She humbly sort of dismissed it lovingly and left.  

     I have been able to think of very little else.  One odd thing about that whole encounter was that it was ten years to the date of one of the biggest spiritual battles of my life, on December 23, 2009 (the short version is, it involved victory over demons in the name of Jesus--a story for another time).  I have always thought of that date with a little trepidation because of that battle (in spite of the victory).  Now it's all changed.  

     Another thing about it was that it was exactly what I needed, including this woman saying exactly what God knew my heart needed to keep going.  This woman was either an angel of God in human form, or she was a Christian completely in tune with the Lord.  The presence of God was more evident in her than in any other human being I have met in my entire life.  So was this woman my Christmas angel?  Maybe.  If not literally, then metaphorically.  But I don't think it's for me to know.  The focus is Jesus.  That's what it was all about for me.  Seeing Jesus' love.  Giving me just enough to get me to the next encounter with Him. just like the food for Elijah.  "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..." Hebrews 12:2.  

     Walter and I are having a joyful Christmas, enjoying each other and Jesus' presence.  We're taking our new life here one day at a time, enjoying Christ every day.  

Not-Guilty

     A personal battle I fight in my own life is a constant, on-going, nagging sense of guilt.  I have struggled with this daily since 1992 (which was the onslaught of adolescence for me, not sure if this is related).  I sometimes assume responsibility that isn't mine.  If things aren't going well around me, I feel guilty, as if I could control it.  I recently had an electric bill that was six times what I'm used to paying (my husband and I are relatively new to Texas, and utilities are much more expensive here).  Understandably, this was overwhelming to me.  But the complete, sickening guilt I had was out of proportion.  The price of utilities in Texas are not under my control.  A few months ago, my husband was looking for work, and I felt guilty any time someone asked me how his job search was going--as if I had the power to give him a job and it was my fault he hadn't found one yet.  God provided an excellent job for him in His timing.  None of that was my fault, but I was incredibly plagued by guilt.  

     A positive aspect to this problem is that I am very quick to try to make things right when they really are my fault.  I am quick to own my failures.  I seldom pass blame on others.  However, I have taken on guilt that wasn't mine, and that is a problem.  

     I have used the phrase "false guilt" to describe this feeling in my life, but I have heard some who didn't like that expression.  By their logic, there is no "false" guilt, since we're all sinners.  We're all guilty.  They see the idea of "false guilt" as an excuse for sin.  In a sense, they're right.  There are a lot of people trying to pass the buck and deny responsibility for their actions.  The Bible does teach that all have sinned (Romans 3:23).  We are sinners, incapable of saving ourselves (Romans 3:10-12).  Jesus's death and resurrection made our forgiveness possible (First John 4:10).  At the moment of salvation, we are "in Christ" (Second Corinthians 5:17).    We are seen as perfect in God's sight (Isaiah 43:25).  Our sins are removed as far as the East is from the West (Psalm 103:12).  There is no condemnation for us once we're saved (Romans 8:1).  We are justified--declared "not guilty" (Romans 10:10).  Those are the things that happen to us at salvation.  

     The longer we walk with the Lord, the Holy Spirit transforms our lives, making us more like Jesus.  This is called sanctification.  One day, we will be removed from the presence of sin, which is called glorification.  But until we are glorified in Heaven, are we guilty at times?   The short answer is yes...and no.  Yes, we still sin, and are guilty, needing to make it right.  On the other hand, we are declared righteous in God's sight, and will never bear the eternal penalty of these sins.  They already fell on Jesus on the cross.  We fight our battles.  When we sin, the Holy Spirit gently convicts us, showing us exactly what to do to make things right.  That is of God.  But feelings of intense, hopeless condemnation are not from the Holy Spirit.  These feelings can come from real sins we committed, or they can come from things that aren't even sin on our part.  God has no desire to just condemn us.  A lot of times, my own guilty feelings are very ambiguous.  That isn't how real guilt works.  When we sin, God convicts us of exactly what we've done.  No ambiguity.  These undefined feelings of guilt aren't from God.  

     First thing, I need to remind myself that guilt is a fact, not a feeling.  If I did wrong, I'm guilty.  If not, then I'm not.  My feelings have nothing to do with it.  It's hard to hang onto this truth when emotions tell me otherwise, but it is the truth.

     First John 2:1 says that "if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father--Jesus Christ, the Righteous One."  Jesus is our advocate.  Romans 8:34 tells us that Jesus is at God's right hand, making intercession for us.  That is, He pleads our case like a lawyer.  God is for us--who can be against us (Romans 8:31)?  With all of this truth, there is no need to feel guilty.  Where do these feelings of false guilt come from?  Satan--"the accuser of the brothers."  Revelation 12:10 tells us that Satan accuses believers before God day and night, but he will be hurled down forever.  And with Jesus as our advocate, we have nothing to fear.  

     Another thing I need to remember is that I can't control everything or everyone else around me.  I need to take responsibility for what is mine, and not for what isn't.  I'd like to close with the Serenity Prayer.  "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardships as a pathway to peace, taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it, trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to You will, so that I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with You forever in the next.  Amen."  

A Friend Loveth at All Times

     "And friends are friends forever, if the Lord's the Lord of them.  And a friend will not say never, because the welcome will not end.  Though it's hard to let you go, in the Father's hand we know that a lifetime's not too long to live as friends." Michael W. Smith's iconic song symbolized the Christian definition of friendship as I was growing up in the 80s and 90s. This song often brought tears to my eyes.  I remember it being used in a commissioning service after I completed summer missionary training.  I always felt very at one with those around me when this song was played.   But is that an accurate picture? What do biblical friendships look like?

     Friendship is a misunderstood concept in so many ways.  We call people our friends who are more like acquaintances.  Facebook has us calling our contacts "friends" and has even turned the word friend into a verb.  IE:  "I'm going to look him up and friend him."  We even have the word unfriend in our vocabulary, thanks to Facebook.  There is even a blended word, frenemy, a combination of friend and enemy, to describe someone with whom someone has a friendly relationship on the surface, but an actual dislike underneath.  I don't think any of this fits with what God had in mind for friendship.

     To complicate things even more, some people claim to have a best friend.  Some have more than one.  Some feel left out and don't feel close to others in the group, but want to.  Some people call their whole social circle their friends.

   Friendship is hard to define.  What makes someone a good friend?  Are all friendships meant to last a lifetime, or are some just for a season?  Do friendships change as life circumstances change?

     I think back to the most magic days of my childhood.  I grew up in a small, close-knit church.  The families were all friends.  We kids were all part of the church's small Christian homeschool.  This meant we saw each other on Sunday morning for church, Wednesday night for AWANA, Thursdays for elective classes, and Fridays for a field trip/park day/skate day (Fridays alternated between these three).  On top of that, our families often had each other over for dinner on other nights.  The kids all invited the whole group to their birthday parties. In some ways, it was an idyllic world.  I felt like I was part of something.  I had a sense of community. I would have told you everyone there was my friend.  But were they?

     A few people in that group were true blue friends, and are still my friends today.  Being adults with life responsibilities and living in different states, we aren't able to be as close as we were while growing up.  The love is still there, though.  We can contact each other to ask for prayer, or touch base.  Our hearts really are committed to each other's highest good.  This describes exactly two friends from that time in my life.  What about the rest???

My sister and me with some church/school friends at McDonald's.  1989  

    I think childhood friendships are a little dishonest sometimes.  We choose our friends based on convenience (who we live near, go to school with, etc.), rather than more enduring qualities.  It is really no surprise adult friendships are often more committed and lasting.  By that point in life, we have more control over our lives, who we see, and what we want in a friend.  My friends in our church community growing up were mostly really acquaintances.  I had those two true-blue friends, but the rest weren't really friends.  Some were actually mean at times (yes, homeschooled kids who go to Sunday school and AWANA can still be mean).  As we all got older and developed our interests and discerned our callings, we grew apart, giving up the illusion of being friends in many cases.

     What is a friend?  The Bible gives some examples.  The most famous friendship in Scripture is found in First Samuel.  The friends' names were David and Jonathan.  David was a shepherd boy whom God had chosen as the future king.  Jonathan was the prince, the heir to the throne.  You would think this situation would cause conflict, but First Samuel 18:1 says,  the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself.  They were kindred spirits.  They just connected.  Two chapters later, we see these friends making a pact before the Lord to defend each other, and be kind to each other's families.  Jonathan stood up to his jealousy-crazed father for David's sake.  This was a true friendship.  It epitomizes Proverbs 17:17, A friend loveth at all times.  This proverb was written by King Solomon, David's son.  Perhaps he had been told about his father's loyal friend Jonathan, and had that in mind when, under the inspiration of God, he wrote that verse.  A true friend loves us, whether life is fun and easy, or painful and difficult.  I've had "friends" who only stuck around as long as we were having fun, but as soon as a need or difficulty arose, they disappeared.  According to the Bible, that's not a true friend.  If a friendship is based on "What's in it for me?" it isn't real.

      Even more importantly, Jesus defined friendship in John 15:13, greater love hath no man than this, than to lay down his life for his friends.  Friendship's truest test is whether we will lay down our lives for those we love.  We will likely never be put in a situation where we'll have to lay down our physical lives for our friends, but are we willing to lay down our comfort zone for a friend?  How about laying down our preferences?  Are we willing to make time for someone else?  Be inconvenienced?  In a real friendship, this should be a two-way street.  

     In life, some friends change and grow with us, and others don't.  We aren't going to be as close with those who aren't part of our regular lives.  That's just life.  But the love can still be there.  True friendship can still be there.  I have some friends that I can go for a long time without seeing, but once we're together, we pick right back up where we left off.  The connection remains unbroken.  That's how I imagine it will be when we see other believers in Heaven.  

     In a perfect world, friends would never have conflicts or grow apart.  But in real life, it happens.  I have had my share.  It is regrettable.  But believers have had conflicts since the beginning.  In Philippians 4, Paul brought up two women from the church, Euodia and Syntyche, who were in a conflict that the readers of the letter were aware of.  How embarrassing!  Paul urged them to be of the same mind in the Lord (verses 2-3).  A more famous example was Paul's "sharp disagreement" with Barnabas.  These two men had served the Lord together in Acts 13-14 (known as Paul's first missionary journey).  Barnabas had been an encouragement to Paul (then known as Saul) as a new believer.  They had seen God do some amazing things as they served together.  And yet in Acts 15:36-41, they had a conflict.  They had been planning to go back to the Christians they'd preached to on their journey.  But Barnabas wanted to have John Mark join them, and Paul was against that.  John Mark had joined them before, and had bowed out.  Paul didn't want to take that chance of him doing it again, but Barnabas did.  Barnabas was always believing in others.  Paul was very focused on the goal.  Neither was necessarily wrong.  But they couldn't reconcile it, so they parted company.  Barnabas went with John Mark, and Paul chose a new traveling companion named Silas.  This is sad, but not tragic.  This led to there being two missionary teams instead of one.  More people heard the gospel.  Also, there was apparently reconciliation, because Paul speaks kindly of Barnabas and John Mark in the epistles (First Corinthians 9:6, Second Timothy 4:11).  

     Romans 12:18 tells us, If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  It isn't always possible to have a good relationship with everyone.  Otherwise, this verse wouldn't have so many qualifiers.  The implication here is that it isn't always possible.  Then, we're told as far as it depends on us, we should live at peace.  It is being acknowledged here that even with our best intentions, the other party might not be peaceable with us.  Sadly, sometimes, people aren't close.  I wish all Christians were intimate friends.  I believe we will be in Heaven...but we're not there yet.  When we are, it will be better than anything else we've ever known.  Friendship will be perfect.  I think of the magic of my childhood, growing up at that sweet church.  Then I imagine how great heave will be when everyone is a true friend, not just an acquaintance from the same social circle.  

     To go back to what I started with, are the lyrics to Michael W. Smith's song realistic?  They are the ideal.  In special friendships that are touched by the Lord, I think those words are true.  In an eternal sense, they're definitely true.  We have eternity to be friends with other believers.  While we're on earth, let's treat each other the way God calls us to!  This requires live and loyalty.  "In the Father's hands we kniw, that a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.

Don't Shoot the Messenger

     "I think," the young man spoke out as if he were saying something very profound, "he was saying that Christians need to stop judging everyone and making a big deal about other people's sins." 

 

     "Yeah!"  Everyone agreed.  Or almost everyone.  

     "I think we need to work on not gossiping so much and let other people deal with their own sin...if they want to," a college-aged girl added.  

     I was in a Bible study.  For the next several weeks, we were doing discussions of the pastor's sermons from the previous Sunday.  Our pastor was faithfully teaching the book of Romans.  He had recently gone over Romans 1:18-30.  This passage talks about how people really know God exists, but suppress that inborn knowledge.  As the passage goes, God allows them to exercise their free will, and gives them over to their sins, which eventually lead to a "depraved mind" (v 28).  This passage gives the progression through which people go once they deny God in their hearts.  They do things they never started off thinking they'd ever do.  Several sins are listed here.  Verses 26-27 specifically list homosexual acts.  Verse 29 lists several other sins (wickedness, greed, evil, envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice, gossip, slander, hating God, insolence, arrogance, boastfulness, inventing evil, disobedience toward parents, etc.).  The point (which culminates in Romans 3) is that no one gets off the hook.  Everyone has sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (3:23).  The Apostle Paul is building a case here that eventually points all people to the way of salvation.  In chapter one, though, he is pointing out where life without God leads.  It does lead to a digression into sin.  And homosexual acts are listed in this digression.  Our pastor has addressed it as he read that passage.  By no means was that his aim in the entire sermon, but he was faithful to the passage.  He didn't hold the Bible at the mercy of 21st century protocol.  He had stated the truth: homosexuality isn't God's will for anyone (according to this passage, and many others).  Certainly this phenomena of transgenderism isn't His plan, because it would assume that He made a mistake when He crated someone--and we know our God makes no mistakes.  These things are being pushed on our culture and society like never before in history, and as Christians, we need to address them biblically.  That is what our pastor was doing.  The other sins listed are clearly not God's will either, and they are just as deadly.  However, there isn't an agenda of these sins being pushed on us, our universities, or our school children.  That's the key here.  

     I grew distressed as I sat in the Bible study.  These college-aged students (that particular church was in a college town, so many attendees were 18-22 years old) were taking the message in an entirely different direction than the pastor had.  They were quoting the bilge being thrown around nowadays--stuff people repeat without even thinking through: "Don't judge."  People often show very little discernment.  That's how it was in the Bible study that morning.  Everyone (other college kids, older people in the study, and the in-between people my age) seemed to be catching this message that the problems in the world are all the Christians' fault for being too judgmental toward homosexuals.  My spirit was troubled as I heard this.  I knew I was being called upon by God to say something.  The discussion got more and more off-point.  People were throwing their brothers and sisters in Christ to the wolves while praising people who suppress the truth (according to the very passage we were studying).  

     "You know," I spoke up, my voice quivering (I totally expected to have to find a new church after I said this), "I'm hearing everyone in this room say that the Christians are the problem, and I have to disagree.  I don't know any Christian people who abuse homosexuals.  Most Christians I know are quite compassionate.  Disagreeing and abuse are two very different things.  I think the reason Christians are talking about this so much nowadays is because there is an agenda being pushed on us, and we have to find the right response to it.  Christians aren't sitting around thinking, 'Let's attack gays.' There is an agenda attacking Christians.  Not all homosexuals are involved in that.  In fact, I'd guess even the majority of them are not.  But this agenda is what's pushing some gays to demand a pastor marry them and sue him if he doesn't, or sue Christian bakers for not wanting to make their wedding cake.  Our freedom is being tested and removed.  It's very serious.  I believe it isn't even about homosexuality, ultimately, but about religious freedom as a whole.  This is just part of the battlefield, and the homosexual people are being used as pawns.  In my home state, a lot of churches have changed their church constitutions to where they'll only marry members of their congregation in order to protect themselves from it.  It's real, and to say Christians are the problem is way off-base."

     Everyone looked at me for a second, and I expected rotten fruit to fly in my direction...but that didn't happen.  One of the men who had been most vocal in the conversation said, "Wow, you're right.  There is agenda being pushed."  And all of a sudden, everyone agreed with me and was talking in the complete opposite direction of where they'd been going before.  It took several minutes for my heart to slow down to normal.  I was mostly relieved, and felt peace about having said what God led me to say.  A small part of me was amused at how easy everyone's mind was to change.  This showed me that people often don't think things through, but repeat what everyone else is saying.

     All sin is equally wrong, and also equally forgivable by God through faith in Jesus.  In the meantime, how do we respond to the message in our culture, which says things that are clearly stated to be against God's will are right and good, and failure to agree is equated with hate?  I've heard people say, "Jesus hung out with sinners, so that means we can't disagree with homosexuality being a valid lifestyle."

     First, I'm going to say that same-sex attraction itself isn't the sin.  Just like a single heterosexual person having sexual urges isn't a sin, nor is a married person noticing they have a chemistry with someone who isn't their spouse.  The sin is what a person does with any of these things.  Jesus said in Luke 9:23 that in order to come after Him, we are to deny ourselves, take up our cross daily, and follow Him.  That cross might be sexual desires that can't be righteously fulfilled.  It might be something vastly different.  But nobody gets a pass on that--not the person prone to violence, not the one with the penchant for gossip, not the one with same-sex attraction, and not the one who feels he or she was born with the wrong body parts and thinks sexual reassignment surgery will bring peace and fulfillment.  We are all called to deny ourselves, take up our crosses daily (meaning it is a daily choice) and follow Jesus.  Self-denial is the big thing no one wants to do, and that's really the bottom line to all of this.  Our culture has long said, "If it feels good, do it!"  Homosexuality and transgenderism are the latest, but this mindset against self-denial has existed for a long time, and used other sins, such as extra-marital affairs, drugs, abortion, etc.  All of us are called to deny ourselves these things.  The reason Jesus asks us to deny ourselves is because He knows these things aren't best for us.  He loves us (Jeremiah 31:3) and has good plans for us (Ephesians 2:10)!  He wants us to know Him as our joy-giver and fulfillment (Philippians 4:19).  We do struggle with things that aren't God's will.  The Apostle Paul had to be told by God, "My grace is sufficient for you." (Second Corinthians 12:9).  And it is.  I'm sure it breaks God's heart when anyone turns to something else to find fulfillment--to meet the needs inside, whether it be food, drugs, money, relationships.  None of those things satisfy the deepest longings of our soul.  

     Having said all of that, our world today is bombarded with an agenda that not only promotes homosexuality and transgenderism, but condemns anyone who doesn't agree.  The issue is painted as one of compassion.  Some people have even said that Jesus would spend time with them and not "judge" them.  Here is my take on that.  First of all, it would break Jesus' heart, because He created us for a purpose vastly different than that (Psalm 139:13-14).  They (especially children being used to promote transgenderism when they aren't even aware of sexuality yet) are pawns of the enemy, and it should break our hearts as well.  Jesus did show love to people.  He spent time with those in sin.  But He never acted like their sin was acceptable.  He freed them from it.  The woman caught in adultery was forgiven, but told to "go and sin no more." (John 8:11).  With the woman at the well (John 4) Jesus brought her sinful life to the forefront before revealing Himself to her.  He was preparing her for conversion to faith in Him, and part of that involves acknowledging sin.  

     I have heard arguments that the Bible doesn't actually consider homosexuality as a sin.  If I bring up how Leviticus clearly states, "You shall not lie with a man as with a woman," these people routinely dismiss the Old Testament for various reasons.  This is wrong for them to do, but okay, even assuming for a moment this passage in Leviticus meant something else, Romans 1, which I have already mentioned, clearly defines it as part of the digression of sin toward a depraved mind.  I have heard people point out that Jesus never spoke on homosexuality, but I have to add that Jesus defined marriage as being between one man and one woman for life. (Matthew 19:5).  His definition of marriage didn't leave any room for homosexuality.  Ephesians 5:25 says, "husbands love your wives."  It doesn't say, "Love your wives, or your husbands if you happen to be gay and married to a man."  It just isn't in there.  I do not believe homosexual acts are worse than other sins, but I do believe they are sin.  Just looking at the basic creation of Adam and Eve in Genesis is a pattern for marriage--a man and a woman.   The problem in people's thinking is that they believe that sex is the be-all and end-all, when it isn't.  Many people never marry, never even have a romantic relationship to speak of, and still have very fulfilling life.  Matthew 19:12 says, "...some have renounced marriage for the kingdom of Heaven."  God's calling sometimes involves a life of singleness.  The be-all and end-all is following God's plan.  That's where the satisfaction comes from.  

     Why is it important for Christians to talk about this?  Are we just mean and want to attack a certain group of people?  No!  In fact, no one should even be defined by their sexual urges.  We're much more than that.  We're human beings, created in the image of God, loved by God, offered salvation in Jesus.  That's how we want to see people, and be seen by people.  But, as I have said, there is an agenda being pushed, and I believe the real goal is to eliminate Christian freedom.  It is ridiculous.  People are entitled to respect, but no one is entitled to have their lifestyle agreed with by everyone!  Even thinking everyone should legally be forced to agree with me is egotistically insane.  I am not entitled to have you agree with me.  You have perfect freedom to dislike what I'm saying, and to disagree with me, even say so.  I'm not going to sue you for disagreeing with me.  It might limit how close I can be with you, but I respect your right to disagree with me.  That is being stripped away from us as this agenda is pushed on our society.  Transgenderism is, in my opinion, a whole new envelope.  Some man--who everyone knows as a man--suddenly decides he's really a girl deep inside, and he expects everyone to adjust to this new identity.  I have heard family members of people who faced this say it is like the person they loved died.  They are gone, replaced by this fake woman (or man) who doesn't really even look like the sex they are saying they now are.  Even needing to grieve the loss is considered hate, because it isn't instantly adjusting to this person's new identity.  I have seen two different universities try to convince students who struggled with depression that they were really transgender.  This led to complete confusion in their lives, and alienation from their important relationships.  That isn't of Jesus.  That is an agenda being thrown at an already-hurting person who had otherwise never even thought about transgenderism.  They're attacking people who are vulnerable to the deception.  These so-called counselors will have a lot to answer for when they stand before God on Judgment Day.  Homosexuality and transgenderism are really a small part of this long-range plan that has been in effect for such a long time.  Satan's plan to "steal, kill and destroy" (John 10:10a) and to take away the freedom of believers.  We can't give the enemy ground.  We have to speak the truth, especially to weaker believers who are just quoting what they hear.  

     I was especially convicted by Ezekiel 3:17-19, Son of man, I have appointed you a watchman to the house of Israel; whenever you hear a word from My mouth, warn them from Me.  When I say to the wicked, ‘You will surely die,’ and you do not warn him or speak out to warn the wicked from his wicked way that he may live, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand. Yet if you have warned the wicked and he does not turn from his wickedness or from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but you have delivered yourself.

     That passage is pretty convicting.  We are to speak up.  God holds us responsible for speaking the truth.  I once read a tract about how someone who had died and gone to hell had a chance to speak to their Christian friend who was still alive, and he said, "Why didn't you warn me?"  That tract was just a fictionalized idea to get us thinking of the importance of speaking the truth of God's word.  Are we called to harp on homosexuals?  Not at all, but we are called to answer the lies of our culture with what the Bible says.  We are called to love those caught in all kinds of sins, showing them there's a better way for them ("life abundantly"-John 10:10b).  Our heart should break for the bondage of these precious people--people worth the life of Jesus Christ, who don't know the wages of sin.  Our motive should be love.  Love doesn't leave people to a life that will ultimately destroy them.  Love wants what's best for them--God's best for them.  That's what we need to be doing.